Wads of Cookie Dough

It was a little more than a year ago that the gaming buds and I turned around in World of Warcraft, and there was nowhere left to go.

So, we did what many have done and many will do … we looked into the raiding guilds. It was an easy thing to do, back then, there was only two on our server — both lousy with players on our /ignore lists. (To be fair, we were on their /ignore lists as well.) At any rate, that was a no-way/no-how type situation.

Instead, we found a little raiding guild that was just beginning to work through the Molten Core content with an allied little raiding guild. And it was good. For about a month.

Fast forward about a month and we finally make the call, privately with our clique-ish selves: wtf, our little raiding guild is just a bunch of twats. And I mean that in every sense of the word.

Simultaneously, our little raiding guild alliance had some tension going down … minor power struggles, if you will, similar to sibling rivalry: every little thing has to be split exactly down the center or there’s drama bullshit.

Add our growing dissatisfaction with close twat contact every night to tense interguild relations and the sum was … we started spending most of our off-raid game time with the allied guild. A week or two passed, and we approached the allied little raiding guild about jumping ship. They agreed on the condition that we discuss it fully with the twats.

We discussed, they weren’t happy. We discussed more, they grudgingly agreed to be adult about it. Or maybe it was the adults agreed to it. (I think the latter.)

Cue the best guild goodbye I have ever pulled off — the best part, I typed this, coincidentally, just as they had invited a new warrior into the guild: /gu Alright, that’s it for us. You’ve been great. We’re headed to AlliedLittleGuild. Goodnight everybody and see you in MC tomorrow!

We all /gquit simultaneously and accepted the new tag. Showmanship. We hit that high note and walked off.

There was a few more weeks of tension between the two little raiding guilds and then, one night in Molten Core, I single-handedly blew the alliance into bits. Actually, I didn’t mean to blow it up … let’s just say that I stirred the pot a little and it blew.

Briefly, the twats were fucking around with the DKP system, to their benefit of course. They asked a select few if we minded. (Do ya MIND??) Fuck ya, we mind. Stop fucking around with the DKP system, they were told, in no uncertain terms. They did anyways. So, on that one night in Molten Core, I made an offhand remark — something like: don’t bother spending DKP on that stuff, we can farm it for free on our own like TwatGuild does.

Well, apparently, AlliedLittleGuild was largely unaware of the twat shenanigans and all Hell broketh loose. In Ventrilo. It was loud. Even I was surprised by the reaction.

The next day, the two guildleaders decided to part ways and that was that.

We went through a rough period where some of our guys went to TwatGuild and some of theirs (non-twats, thankyouverymuch) joined us. Also, people were kinda ticked off at me for a few days. Understood. I behaved myself for a good month after that — cleaned up the language, kept my boots shined, tabard tucked in, all that.

After the shakeout, we entered the Industrial Age and began to raid in earnest. They, who were once our allies, were now our arch rivals. And y’know how they say the best revenge is living well? We were determined to live well.

Tomorrow … the gripping conclusion and a comparison of our applicant requirements then and now. (Yes, this whole story has a point.)

There’s More, Oh So Much More

“In addition to the authentication delay some users are encountering, we just experienced an ISP-related networking issue that contributed to the disconnection of players across specific realms. We’re in the process of working with our service provider to help avoid further issues, and we’ll keep everyone posted if another such incident occurs.” (I didn’t make that up, thread here.)

I have 6 million subscribers, I’m my own ISP. I have 6 million subscribers, I’m not leaving the details to AT&T. I have 6 million subscribers, I’m my own service provider, I don’t have to call up Skippy to check on the connection.

I’m just saying.

Also, there’s more transfers available again there’s more transfers available again … I guess from PVE to PVP? I don’t work for these bastards and even I’m wondering how you can dump PVE characters on PVP realms without even … hell, I dunno … an excuse? (other than this one.)

In our ongoing efforts to improve gameplay performance, as previously discussed here, we will be opening realm-to-realm character transfers from select normal (PvE) realms to new PvP realms (listed below) on April 10 at 3:00 AM PDT. The PvP destination realms will be operating on the new hardware at our new World of Warcraft site. The decision to transfer from PvE to PvP in this particular case was made in hopes of increasing the number of players seeking to transfer, which will in effect help us further disperse our population.

Players on these four realms will have the opportunity to transfer to the PvP realm Black Dragonflight:

Hyjal
Lightbringer
Shadowsong (I didn’t keep up with all the cancelled DELAYED transfers, but THIS ONE was scheduled for a new, empty server, Norgannon)
Zul’jin

Players on these four realms will have the opportunity to transfer to the PvP realm Dalvengyr:

Alleria
Khaz’goroth (cancelled due to Oceanic somethingorother)
Hellscream
Whisperwind

The transfers are scheduled to close at 3:00 PM PDT on April 13. However, we urge any players who wish to transfer to do so at their earliest possible convenience, as transfers may be closed earlier than expected depending on volume. Please note that standard character creation will be disabled on the two destination realms until the transfer process has completed.

Also, as a reminder, our normal schedule for conducting character transfers between eligible realms is from 3:00 AM PDT to 3:00 PM PDT, Monday through Friday. That schedule will be in effect for as long as this upcoming transfer period remains active.

As more details become available, we will provide additional information about other such measures that we’re taking to address the performance issues that players on our high-population realms have been experiencing.

Possibly, they’re too busy with their Uther characters to explain every little thing to us.

Fixing Azeroth

UPDATE: The migrations and downtime have been rescheduled for Thursday, April 6 at 12:01 AM PST.

Very little of this makes sense to me — mostly that 20+ realms have to be downed for (up to) 24 hours with four other realms migrating to new server hardware — but maybe it’s something that only hardware nerds would understand. Condolences and congrats as follows, per Blizzard drone, Ordinn:

First off, we’d like to thank everyone who helped us test our new hardware on the public test realms over the last month. The testing allowed us to move forward ahead of schedule with the improvements outlined at the beginning of March: (link). We were able to bring the new World of Warcraft site live more than a week early, which in turn allowed us to open 12 new realms over the last two weeks.

The next step in our ongoing efforts to increase game performance is to migrate a set of realms to the new site this Wednesday, April 5, beginning at 12:01 AM PST. The migration could take up to 24 hours to complete, so we will be crediting players with active accounts who had characters on these realms as of 12:01 PM Monday, April 3. The realms that will be affected are listed below.

The goal with this realm migration is to further balance our player population between multiple World of Warcraft sites. Our estimates about the noticeable impact of this individual procedure are conservative, but it is nevertheless a necessary step that will then allow us to move forward with the subsequent portions of our overall plan.

Following the migration, we plan to next week offer character transfers from existing realms to fresh realms located at the new World of Warcraft site. These transfers will allow additional players on realms that had been experiencing intermittent performance issues to continue their character progress on the new hardware. This will in effect help us further disperse our population and continue improving performance on our most severely affected realms.

We’ll provide you with additional status updates as often as possible as we continue implementing the plan we announced this past January (link).

Realms that will be down but not migrate:
Aggramar
Andorhal
Anetheron
Burning Blade
Burning Legion
Dentarg
Duskwood
Earthen Ring
Eonar
Eredar
Executus
Gilneas
Gorefiend
Haomarush
Kargath
Laughing Skull
Lightning’s Blade
Llane
Malygos
Scilla
Shadow Moon
Steamwheedle Cartel
Thunderhorn
Thunderlord
Turalyon
Ysera
Ysondre
Zuluhed

Realms that will migrate:
Archimonde
Dalaran
Khadgar
Mal’Ganis

Yes, that’s in a little less than 12 hours from now. Ordinn didn’t recommend this, but if I played on one of those realms, I’d empty game mailboxes, pull my auctions, make sure all my e-souls were firmly attached to their e-bodies and I’d log off early.

Accidents will happen and screenshots, petitions and emails have never saved me.