Something Awful’s Guide to the Warcraft Battlegrounds. ” … a revolutionary way to be an asshole for $14.95 a month.” Detailed guide to the three Battlegrounds, including strats! doctored screeenshots! and reasons to /AFK!
My latest “hiding from the Warcraft guild” alt, NoobWarlock, received his/her/its first gold solicitation last week:
I’m so proud.
At the time, NoobWarlock was level 13 or some shit. An intelligent spam system might serve the gold sites better than a buckshot approach, but that’s just me overthinking the marketing behind the madness.
Raster, blog slave and Foton Guild Puppet (although he disputes that — ha!), is constantly bitching about this other warrior in our guild. Calls him “Mr. Can’t Hold Aggro” and “Sir StunnedAlot”. He’s tried to give the guy a few helpful hints, in a constructive manner, (which I can tell you is some doing for a guy like Raster), but all for naught. No improvement whatsoever.
“Have you tried Blood Rage?” (WoW Noob Lesson: Rage is the juice that a warrior uses for his leet moves. Although usually generated by taking hits, pre-combat rage can be made with Blood Rage.) “Blood rage is your friend.” “I use blood rage. I like it. So do the warlocks.” “You’ve got to have rage to get the hate.” “COULD YOU JUST USE GODDAMN BLOOD RAGE??”
Numerous tells and spiffy slogans later, the guy still begins every fight, no matter how critical, completely outta juice.
Sometimes, he finishes the fights without rage either which is a complete mystery to us.
Anyways, the guild was out in Silithus, summoning epic mobs for fun and faction, and Sir StunnedAlot (“S” in the screenie below) was on tank duty. Why wasn’t Raster tanking? I forget, but from this screenshot it looks like we were bitching in tells. Again.
God. We’re such dicks.
From the Warcraft forums, Molten Core raid RUINED by thoughtless snowballing. Guildleader penalizes the raid with a DKP penalty; players OUTRAGED. For Warcraft noobs, if you hurl a snowball at a group member, they are stunned/knockbacked and God kills a warlock. I say that as if I know that from personal experience, don’t I? (As with all Warcraft forum links, the thread will expire and disappear into the Internet Trash Bin. READ IT NOW.)