Ain’t Love Grand

Here are a couple more World of Warcraft forum finds sent to me by my tireless emailer crew — our eyes are everywhere.

First, buried in the rogue forums amongst all the angst over the incoming haste nerf patch, “so im chilling in the dreaded ‘Friend Zone’..”, and our protagonist doesn’t give us much information, except this:

from Friend ladder to “good ladder”

DO or DIE and make the jump.


Let it be.

Probably, he’s referring to the hated Friends Ladder as postulated (and popularized) years ago at (Click “Construction of the Ladder” for the professional graphic.)

There are a few amusing responses and even fewer helpful responses, but I particularly enjoyed reply #15 by this week’s top candidate for intense psychotherapy:

Stay away imo. especially if you work with her. She’s probably a wh0re anyways. Most of em are. A good 99% i’d guess.

So I’m guessing that Norman didn’t have a very healthy relationship with mom.

(Thanks, emailer Laura!)

Last, a spurned WoW lover used the forums to complain about the imaginary sex he had: KNIGHTS IN SHINING ARMOR REPORT HERE. The thread was deleted (natch), but Google cache was quicker on the draw than me. (WARNING: This thread and the posted links are NSFW – language, masked language and ALL CAPS VIRTUAL SCREAMING.)

Basically, this level 61 rogue (that’s why you’re sitting on the bench, champ, L2Level) is claiming he had (real or imagined) sex with this woman who had sent him (real or stolen) nudey pics of herself (or her imagined self). It’s hard to decipher with the walls of text, maybe she’s his guildmate, maybe just a servermate, who knows, but neither party was satisfied, she moved on to other (real or imagined) lovers, and he chose to embarass himself on the server forums.

Quoted rants after the jump. Again, NSFW! (Names/img links edited from the quoted text.) Continue reading

WoW Patch 2.2

Now available on the World of Warcraft Public Test Realm, Patch 2.2 — patch notes.

Rogues: Sap duration against PvP targets has been reduced to 10 seconds.


Goddamit. Where did that Developer Who Loves Rogues More Than Life Itself go?? He on vacation? I see that the Developer Who Conceptualized Lightwell And Will Defend Its Value To The Death is still at work, but where’s my rogue guy?

Actually, looks like everyone’s PVP crowd control abilities were dropped to 10 seconds, which is fair, but juggling two PVP targets in the battlegrounds was one of the few joys in my World of Warcraft life. Well, that and killing warlock pets.

Week of Fives: Five 2006 Assholes to Remember

(Yanno. That title might end up in an interesting Google search too.)

Do enough multiplayer online gaming, say ten minutes or more, and you’re bound to run into assholes. These five, although entertaining in their own way, really went above and beyond the behavior of a typical jackass.

Five 2006 Assholes to Remember — so we can keep a close watch on them — three from me, two from Raster:

1. The Priest who would be queen. Of drama, that is. I haven’t told this story yet because it only wrapped up this week. (Months in the making, however.)

This woman was a long-time guildmember of ours — married, with small children, and a decent priest, truth be told. Over the past year, she’d been linked romantically with a few guildmembers — a couple several years her junior, and a couple around her age. (Not judging, just saying, how young before I step in and remind her that this might be approaching ILLEGAL? It was getting close to that point with a few of them.) At least one of these kids guys left the guild because she dumped him; the others just moped around as she frolicked with the new love interest. So far, not really any of my business … except for the possible legal ramifications of guild complicity.

Meanwhile, she’s denying a few priest applicants here and there, mostly for no reason at all. We’d ask the other priests, “what do you think?”, they’re all fine with the app’s she hated. But, what can ya do? Guildmember hates a new guy, that’s too bad for the new guy. I prefer the evil I know to the evil I don’t yet know.

Oh ya, did I mention she was an officer? Ummm yaaaa. That was another problem.

One week this summer she told the guild that she was sleeping with one of our mages who lived in a neighboring state. I didn’t really need quite that level of detail, “we’re in love”, “we’re a couple”, either of those would have been suitable, but there was no misunderstanding after her description of his particulars. They continued making the beast with two backs for about a month and then she announced that she had left her husband over the weekend, moved into an apartment and the happy couple would be living together soon, in paradise, as she sought a divorce.

Fucking great, cuz I knew that was doomed to fail. Eventually Mr. Mage is going to wake up and realize he signed on for a whole lot more than paradise and then there’s going to be trouble.

Another few weeks passed and she announced that she was stepping down from officership, and so was Mr. Mage. (Did I forget to mention that he was an officer too? Oops.) They were far too happy spending time together to retain their officer positions, or to raid or play Warcraft anymore.

No problem, our guildleader demoted her down to member and demoted her offline boyfriend to member also. We wished them well.

The next night, Mr. Mage logged on and All Emo broke loose when he saw he wasn’t an officer anymore. “YTF did we demote him???” “What were we thinking??” He was seriously ticked.

This was us: What. In. The. Fuck?

Someone explained that his girlfriend had told us they weren’t going to play anymore and please demote them. “WTF, she doesn’t speak for (him)!”

Ya, we should have known that. Somehow. I guess. All I knew was, there’s trouble in paradise. Maybe Mr. Mage had woken up and smelled the peanut butter on the Lil Tykes toys, I dunno.

Then this week, which is a month-ish since the “demotion incident”, she left the guild, after saying her goodbyes to a select few. She didn’t say goodbye to me, cuz I never respected their love or some shit, I forget the exact second-hand explanation. Whatever.

Someone asked Loverboy what was up with that and turns out, they had broken up that week (shocking!) and the guild wasn’t big enough for the two of them (equally shocking!)

FOR ONCE, we got the best part of a deal! Hallelujah, it’s gonna be a good week.

Hey, maybe she can sell her priest like she did her other character that we equipped in Tier 2 armor. Oops, did I forget to mention that too? (Foton)

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