This Patch Can Suck Me Off

I suppose we could argue for days about which World of Warcraft patch over the past two years has been the worst.

There was that one patch that nuked item enchantments — that was fun in a “I can’t freakin believe this” kind of way. The cross-server battleground patch was a pretty good one, except for the “everyone’s corpse piling up under Alterac Mountains” part. The patch nerfing out-of-combat resurrections should at least get an honorable mention — not only as a shining example of what I call a “too bad for the rest of you sorry bastards” nerfing, but also because of the ripple effects. I’d bet there’s not a Warcraft player out there that hasn’t experienced this: sitting around, waiting for someone to arrive or regenning health or mana, whathaveyou, you’ll look down at your action bar and think “why the FUCK am I in combat?” Moments later you knew exactly why you were in combat.

Ahh, memories.

But this Patch 2.oh!.1 is just fucked.

This patch is so fucked, they had a recurring in-game server-wide broadcast directing players to a Blizzard forum post about patch issues. Here’s the thread: Patch 2.0.1 – Issues & Revisions. And actually, that’s not the link addy they were broadcasting in game, but, as I WAS RAIDING at the time, I couldn’t alt-tab out to check — I assume this is the gist of it.

White Text for Enchantments – annoying and momentarily panic-inducing, but shit happens. No biggie.

Arena Battlemasters Temporarily Unavailable – again, a nuisance but we’ll deal.

Honor System Revisions – there’s some creative spin going on in that thread. No great shakes.

Display / User Interface Issues – here we go. And where to start? Meh, I’ll get back to this.

Missing Bank Bag Slots or Items – this seems kind of huge. Hotfix incoming though, which is nice. Maybe if they weren’t trying to shove the square Beta code peg into the round Live code hole this wouldn’t be an issue, but what do I know about coding? Nothing, that’s what.

Level 60 XP to Gold Conversion, Display Issue – nuisance.

Shaman and Paladin Items – (my favorite cuz it’s so damn stupid) Vrakthris, Blizzard short straw holder:

With this patch we have released many features/changes in preparation for the upcoming expansion. One of these changes is that Paladin items will now be found by the Horde and Shaman items by the Alliance.

Although some of these classes might not be available by the opposite faction until the Burning Crusade release, this is indeed an intended change.

Bull. Shit.

I so loved those two paragraphs, I macro’d those for /ra chat and used it each time we scored shaman gear. In hindsight, maybe I shouldn’t have. So disheartened were we, we left Nefarian up for today because we all just KNEW he had 2 shaman breastplates waiting for us. Seriously. We left Nefarian up, not because it was getting late (it wasn’t) or because we needed more players in the raid (we didn’t) or because we were scared (we weren’t … of him, anyways), we left His Dragonness up because we feared the shaman breastplates.

The raid was already horrible: late start because CTRaidAssist wasn’t playing nice with the default UI (read: forum thread. solution: /bye CTRA), and because of the INSANE clicks every time someone did almost anything in the raid (read: forum thread. solution: turn off all sound), and because of default UI’s needing that complicated reset procedure (solution: leave those poor souls behind at the entrance), a drawn-out Razorgore kill because the UI was killing pet action bars which makes it rather challenging to control Razorgore, the healers monopolized Vent chat during Vael with their “who’s tanking now??” “how bout now?” “why is a warlock tanking?” “who’s tank?” “is he dead yet?” “what’s Vael at now?” (no CTRA, remember?), same healer deal with Broodlord, but add in a Raid Leader near-SCREAMING at the warlocks bombing the shit out of Broodlord. Firemaw, fine. Trash, fine. Ebonroc, fine. Flamegor, fine. Chromaggus, a typical pain in the ass, but fine.

Chrom was a little dicey with the manual decursing, but all’s well that ended well. No shaman shoulders either, nevertheless he dropped shardables (i.e. junk to us).

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Patch Side Effects

I’m going to love this side effect of patching in expansion content pre-expansion: opposite faction gear (for now) dropping in the 40-man instances. (To wit: WoW Forums – Judgement Crown drop for Horde?) For those who don’t/haven’t played WoWarcraft, Horde can’t be paladins; Alliance can’t be shaman. Until the expansion that is, when Horde can be paladins and Alliance can be shaman. Pre-this patch, Horde raids didn’t loot paladin-only gear and Alliance didn’t loot shaman-only gear. Now they can. End of Lesson. Seriously, why bother raiding anymore. Pulling opposite faction gear off Onyxia is one thing (4 trash pulls), pulling it off of Ragnaros or Nefarian is quite another (multi-hour clears of the entire zone to get to each). Fuck raiding, I’m going to PVP with a warlock. (Archive: WoW Forum – Judgement Crown drop for Horde?, page 1)

To Thunderlord!

Today is World of Warcraft patch day, 2.0.1 — one of those doom and gloom type patches too, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Here’s the patch notes from WoWWiki, pulled from pre-release information, so y’know, be wary. Here’s some patch mirrors from same source, but considering the latest round of keyloggers going around the last week, y’know, be wary.

The big thing, of course, is the new talents for everyone, but there are also new limits on disenchanting based on item and skill level, which I suppose is the bandaid to deal with keylogging bastards (i.e. dismantling your stolen character will take alot longer now).

Never mind all that though, I’m more interested in the warrior community right now, which is heating up nicely because of the patch changes to threat and rage and tanking.

Some of the warrior collective is so upset, in fact, that they’ve planned a little protest march on the Thunderlord realm on Wednesday, December 6, 2006 at 4:00 pm Eastern time (formation at 2:30 pm Eastern). Planned activities include a naked gnome walk (or naked dwarf paladin walk if you’re supporting the equally alarmed shamans) from Ironforge to Stormwind.

Reply #23 by Blizzard party pooper, Drokthul, locks the thread:

Anyone caught participating in this event or any event with the sole purpose of disrupting the game play for others will be punished.

You know who else hates public protest? Communists. You’re not a communist are you, Drokthul?

I’m. totally. kidding.

Not that I would encourage people to be disruptive, but I think if you want to play on the Thunderlord server on Wednesday, you ought to go play on the Thunderlord server on Wednesday. And if you want to have some … refreshments … while you’re playing on Thunderlord on Wednesday, I think you ought to have those refreshments while playing on Thunderlord on Wednesday. And if your thing is interacting with other players in the public chat channels while knocking back refreshments on a Wednesday on Thunderlord, I think you ought to do exactly that.

And send me the screenshots, because I’m all about chaos and anarchy.

More about the warrior issues:

WoW Forums: “THIS is why warriors are whining so much”
WoW Forums: A zippy poem to commemorate Patch 2.0.1 — I hope my guild’s warriors don’t catch wind of this. We might need them for loot farms on Wednesday, although from the looks of the patch changes and all the discussions, heh, maybe we won’t.
WoW Forums: “Million warrior march” General forum thread discussion. Oh and by the way, the title “Million Gnome March” was for the LAST warrior protest in January 2005. We’ll need a new catchy title for THIS protest. Gnome Tea party was also taken for the LAST protest. (My stuff about the LAST protest: They Will Overcome, The Gnome Tea Party and The Tea Party in Pictures.)

UPDATE: For-real patch notes from the updater after the jump.

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