I was tipped off to this New and Improved guild drama by a guildmate. (Thanks, OverlyAmbitiousOffTank!) Today’s drama is courtesy of the Dragonblight server, and due to shifting dates, lots of post editing, possible account sales and numerous witness accounts, it’s one of those “who knew what when?” type stories.

We begin here, with the thread author, Excellence, alleged account purchaser, proven Molten Core (MC) ninja and (self-described) wronged guild applicant. Per him:

This is the story. About 1 and a half weeks ago guild Lords of the Realm was going to make me a Dark Iron Helmet. I gave their smither the mats (worth about 1k gold)…3 days later the guild didnt send me the helmet so I asked for it. The smither said”no”
so I asked for mats back “No, srry we are giving to our MT for MC raids:” (as you guys know dark iron helm has mad +fire resistance.. So I got real mad and I threatened the guild if they didnt give my mats back that I would tell the whole realm in IF. But, before I did their whole clan started spamming the forums and IF general chat. “EX IS A NINJA!!! They did this so no one would believe me. Now I cant pary, group, raid, guild…its a joke..aand now I am trying to tell the real story but this thread will probably get shot down by hundreds of LOTR posts. Im sorry I had to resort to this guild LOTR..but I wanted my mats back

p.s. clffrd of LOTR admitted to even taking the mats and im trying to get a ss of it.

It is unclear why LOTR’s accusations of ninja would have any bearing on his ability to parry. It is clear, however, that functional illiteracy is alive and well in our times.

Anyways. Few posts down, there’s the first response from the accused guild:

Look, here is what REALLY happened, Ex was interesting in joining LoTR and we took him on a trial run to MC where he ninja’d a blastershot launcher then left and logged. Then he had the audacity to then ask for his mats back and we said no because well you know. So drop it Ex.

So, maybe, the guild smith kept the materials to compensate for the MC ninja, i.e. you stole from us, now we steal from you. I know all about two wrongs not making a right, but in the lawless land of MMOGs, I don’t really have a problem with the compensatory ninja. I’ve tried to have a problem with it, I’ve tried to care. I just don’t.

Nevertheless, the flames fly back and forth in that thread, Excellence relentlessly digging his own grave while the more articulate LOTR members explain the situation in greater detail. Ex’s former guild, Revelations, had a few things to say as well, notably that Excellence appears to be version 2.0, RC 1, after an account sale (post 6):

Sorry for jumping on you the way I did about my guild’s name being associated with this, Cliffrd. In retrospect I do feel at least partially responsible for this, we’d known Excellence was sold online for several days now, and said nothing. I’m sorry about the incident, and in the future I’ll post anyone I know of from my guild being Ebayed to prevent any further incidents.

The only 2 that I know of so far are Excellence’s account and Noela/Emily’s account.

There are few other posts sprinkled here and there adding credibility to the account sale accusation … change in language skills, personality, bla bla.

The original thread really starts cooking by Page 7 or so, right after a LOTR member posts screenshots of the MC ninja job as Ex had been challenging them to do. It was a gamble on his part, and truly, most people don’t screenshot absolutely everything like me, but this gamble didn’t pay off. pwned!!11!

Screenshot 1 — See the Launcher still on Golemagg’s corpse.

Screenshot 2 — See the loot officer call for randoms from two guildmates (NOT Ex). See the two guildies random. See Ex ninja.

Screenshot 3 — Let’s see that ninja again from a different camera angle and in slow-mo. (neeeeenjjjjjaaaaaa.)

The most Excellence response:

YOU can tell these pictures are edited…People have already said grats bak grats grats. Excellence recieves loot. All you have to do is copy my name and put it there in photoshop. Why would every1 say grats bak grats? this is worst photoshop ever.

Beyond the MC ninja incident, LOTR discovers that the helm materials were actually the property of Ex’s former guild, Revelations:

Guess it would be redundant at this point to mention that the materials were never really his to begin with.

They were Rev bank materials that were given out to make a helm for tanking Rags. I don’t know about anyone else, but it seems a bit hypocritical to call someone else a hypocrite for taking materials that were entrusted to him for the sole purpose of having a tanking helmet for Rags.

Since no DKP was spent on the materials and they were given in response for a request for a DI helm for tanking it seems to me if he were as honest as he is claiming he would have returned the mats to Rev when he left.

… and somewhere in that mess of threads, LOTR offers to return the materials to Revelations, even though the only reason they didn’t make the helm for Ex in the first place was because their smith was offline due to family issues, which makes this whole mess doubly hilarious. Unlike most drama taken public, these threads are entertaining from start to finish — worth the time to read it all. Class A stuff.

But! That’s not all! Here’s a little secret I discovered: if you really want to have a good laugh — and due to the tenuous nature of post editing and post deletion, these may not last — just read through the archive of Excellence’s post history.

actually I can get into any College I want since I’m a jock. get a life

… and this:

I talked to a GM yesterday, and he reviewed what happened with my mats for the Dark Iron Helm. AAfter about an hour of research on his part, he told me that their is evidence of a scam. So, he issued my claim to a senior GM. This is what the email said SADLY

Thank you for contacting the World of Warcraft Game Master Department.

Answer: In your petition from 10/04/05 regarding your deal with Grimfire, it is currently not considered a scam by our policies. Though there was a verbal agreement between the two of you, there was no set timeframe for when Grimfire would deliver the finished product to you.

Should you require further assistance, please submit another help request the next time you are online. We hope you continue to enjoy your experience in World of Warcraft!

For any game play questions, please refer to our site at http://www.blizzard.com/support/wowgm/

*** Please do not respond to this email as all conversations on this matter would be best handled online. ***

Regards,

Ariolosy
Specialist Game Master
Blizzard Entertainment
http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/

this is proof that I gave them the mats…but blizz is tap dancing the deal

Ya. They’re tap dancing.

If only making a complete jackass of oneself was a Warcraft profession, he’d be the gamewide Master Craftsman.