Tag Archives: guilds

The Uncool Need Not Apply

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This recent guild recruitment thread on the Warcraft Moonrunner forums generated a lot of interest:

I started a guild called Pop It and I would like to get a lot of members, so if you are cool and a decent person then join my guild! especially if you Pop the collar and wear Hollister and abercrombie and stuff!
I like to play a lot with people and do instances like blackfathom deeps. I dont expect you to be a hardcore player because I only consider myself a softcore player.
I really want to do guild battleground games and raids and stuff, and eventually when I get to 60 I’m gonna get into the end game instances.
I could start a web page and maybe even a teamspeak or ventrilo server but only if the guild starts getting big enough.

And Losers and Haters are NOT welcome!!!!!!!
and anyone that flames me for being a prep is just jealous.

Guildleader Hollisterboi (o lord), no stranger to mall fashion, is willing to do what it takes to appeal to this player niche, including a male model walkoff complete with photos. This is Blue Steel.

You know me. When I enjoy someone’s forum posting, I search for their other posts so the fun never ends. From the same recruitment thread:

man people like you make me soo mad.
You are the perfect stereotypical fatass chick that is extremly bitter about their life. I had to laugh when I read this cause I know people EXACTLY like you in real life. all you FUGLY fatties that try in any way possible to fool themselves into not being depressed with themselves.
trust me, with deep down looks completely outweigh everything else.
And also my life is never going to be a failure because I have a sense of self worth and i dont consider myself lazy and I have the responsibility to live on my own which is more I can say for a lot of the useless loser nerds that i went to school with.
also i really dont give a !&$% that you dont like thin guys cause I absolutely hate fat chiks like you.

Bullis, you would fu–ck me in RL i bet. so just shut up with your retardness.

Visteria, being fat isnt sexy and being thin is. I dont consider myself some muscle head obviously but thats not even sexy to me. having some definition but thin and no fat is. so quit trying to make fun of sexy people to keep your mind off your own fatass

this really proves a lot of what Ive been saying. My life and style etc is something that most people WANT.

And another evidence that people actually want to be me, 5? 6? something like that, fake Hollisterboi characters… pretty self explanatory.

It’s true! A level 1 Hollisterboi troll character is created to join in on the fun:

I dont care what any of you think. being called gay doesnt bother me, becuase Ive been called gay all my life. I like wearing nice clothes and being high maintenance, and that makes you envious. Your jealousy is no match for my popped collar. I could get any chick I wanted, i just dont.

The REAL Hollisterboi:

and finally, I am PROUD to be a prep/metro/cool/high maintence person. Even if you dont admit it, most of you wish you could be too.

Werd.

I am Jack’s cold sweat

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Hi everyone,

I’m Foton’s evil guild/raid leader and newly initiated puppet for his site. I’ve also been playing online games for ten years and have seen my share of backstabbing, lies, ninjas, rampant stupidity, and drama that could fuel soap operas for the next 40 years.

I currently spend my days in Warcraft yelling at guildies for various stupid things they do daily. Who would have ever thought you might need to rebuff someone who just died? Or that training two Molten Destroyers and then further agro’n two core hounds on the raid because you were stealth afk would piss me off? Guild raids are blogging gold…

One thing that always gets the rage flowing are the people who post about how much they love the guild (bullshit) and then go on to blow their dkp and wind up with a new guildtag the next day. Their goodbye post always contains some sob story about how their brother nobody has ever seen (my gold is on ‘he doesn’t exist’) or their long lost childhood friend (again, betting gold on ‘doesn’t exist’) asked them to come over. To top it off, they go on to say how it was never about the loot and how they want to go out with everyone still loving them. Wtf? Just because your IQ is below freezing doesn’t mean mine is.

The only sad part of their guildremoval is that it denies me the pleasure of doing it myself.

Oh well, if I’ve learned anything from my time in the dregs of online society, it’s that another idiot is lurking just around the next corner.

The Endgame is a Goldmine

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Here’s some good news. I’m working on getting assigned to the (dreaded) groups 7 or 8 for our guild raids and I’ll tell you why: I want to live blog endgame Warcraft raids.

(Stop that! This can work.)

I’ve always known this could be a comedy goldmine, but sadly, I’m usually in groups 1 or 2 (out of the possible eight). Pressure. The weight of the world on us. All that. So I’m pushing to get into the (dreaded) groups 7 or 8.

As far as I’ve seen, groups 7 and/or 8 have pretty much NOTHING to do in the entire Warcraft endgame except throw their arms in the air, wail, gnash teeth, and blame groups 1 and 2 for not carrying the weight of the world. You can see the beauty here — I’m IDEAL for that role.

I expect it will go like this:

Raid: Ok, on time attendance log now.

Warlocks: WHAT THE???? Wait!!!!!!!!!! Leaving Ironforge now, hold attendance!!!

Raid: Get ready for buffs, gather.

Warlocks 1 and 2: Put me on log, have to get a few shards.

(Ya, none of us understands the whole warlock thing either. Why aren’t they the first to arrive? Why don’t they ever have shards, an essential component for their class-exclusive abilities??? We don’t know. They just don’t.)

The Whispercast Users: Whispercast — bla bla bla me bla bla bla buff bla bla tell bla bla maybe bla bla whatever. kthx.

(Whispercast is this buff mod whereby you send a tell to the buffer with the name — AND I MEAN THE EXACT NAME — of the desired buff, which he/she queues and fires at will. Because buffing is terribly complicated for these people. Ya, I don’t get that either.)

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