Tag Archives: guilds

Week of Fives: My Favorite Stories of 2006

Posted on by
3

In chronological order, these were my five favorite stories from 2006 — all from World of Warcraft, three from Le Guild (nothing like a raiding guild for putting out drama and angst!) and two from my travels near and far.

1. January 2006 – The Gates of Ahn’Qiraj are opened for the first time anywhere on the Medivh realm. Hundreds of well-wishers and curious observers from other realms flooded Medivh with level 1+ alts, created specifically to observe the gate-opening scripts — largest gathering of cows (tauren) anywhere, with bovine names such as Milkme, Gotmilk, and Mooyou. (Warcraft tutorial: the tauren starting area is the closest to the Ahn’Qiraj instance.) GMs eventually got involved and ported the cowlings to other areas so the natives could enjoy their gate party without being trampled.

I took some heat for running around AQ/Silithus with my own noob cow tourist, but there’s nothing like being there for mass chaos. I only wish there were more such events during the year, hopefully on my home server for once. Would save me the trouble of making a noob character and running him all the way out to the anarchy.

The series:

2. August 2006 – The “I Hate People” series. Notice how quiet my guild was for the first 8 months of the year? Ya, I notice it too. What in the hell happened Summer 2006 because it was just one shitstorm after the other.

Too many players involved in this shitstorm to name, but I enjoyed writing this series because I got a rare chance to toast someone’s ass who thought he got away with a lie. I didn’t necessarily enjoy LIVING through this drama, but all’s well that ends well.

The series:

3. September 2006 – THE EMO TANK!! I know you miss him. I’d say I do too, but that would be a lie. He’s trying his darndest to get back into our happy family so you might get your wish.

I’m voting “NO!” because I want to publish his tattoo pics and gang hand signs pic that I copied from our guild site a few months ago.

The series:

4. October 2006 – If This is Wednesday, This Must Be Naxxramas. I had wanted to try a live-blog chat-log type post of a guild raid for a while. Unless you are an online-gaming raider or have been one, you cannot know the craziness involved in organizing more than five people. Even thinking about it now, these are all adults, who can all follow directions (I used to think), why is meeting at a pre-arranged location at the pre-arranged time so difficult??

I still don’t know the answer to that, but maybe the log makes it clearer why “guild” is just another word for “nuthouse”.

5. October 2006 – No, I Won’t Dance Naked with You in Ironforge. I love these two nutballs (aka future guild members) I met in Westfall and Redridge Mountains; they taught me the true meaning of irony. I’m hiding from my nutcase guildmates on an anonymous alt, enjoying the peace and quiet, and somehow, like I’m a vortex for crazy, they found me.

The one guy did teach me an important technique for avoiding people. Whenever I don’t feel like talking, “SCUBA!!”

Bonuses after the jump, Other Favorites and My Five Favorite Screenshots of 2006

Continue reading →

Week of Fives: Five 2006 Assholes to Remember

Posted on by
7

(Yanno. That title might end up in an interesting Google search too.)

Do enough multiplayer online gaming, say ten minutes or more, and you’re bound to run into assholes. These five, although entertaining in their own way, really went above and beyond the behavior of a typical jackass.

Five 2006 Assholes to Remember — so we can keep a close watch on them — three from me, two from Raster:

1. The Priest who would be queen. Of drama, that is. I haven’t told this story yet because it only wrapped up this week. (Months in the making, however.)

This woman was a long-time guildmember of ours — married, with small children, and a decent priest, truth be told. Over the past year, she’d been linked romantically with a few guildmembers — a couple several years her junior, and a couple around her age. (Not judging, just saying, how young before I step in and remind her that this might be approaching ILLEGAL? It was getting close to that point with a few of them.) At least one of these kids guys left the guild because she dumped him; the others just moped around as she frolicked with the new love interest. So far, not really any of my business … except for the possible legal ramifications of guild complicity.

Meanwhile, she’s denying a few priest applicants here and there, mostly for no reason at all. We’d ask the other priests, “what do you think?”, they’re all fine with the app’s she hated. But, what can ya do? Guildmember hates a new guy, that’s too bad for the new guy. I prefer the evil I know to the evil I don’t yet know.

Oh ya, did I mention she was an officer? Ummm yaaaa. That was another problem.

One week this summer she told the guild that she was sleeping with one of our mages who lived in a neighboring state. I didn’t really need quite that level of detail, “we’re in love”, “we’re a couple”, either of those would have been suitable, but there was no misunderstanding after her description of his particulars. They continued making the beast with two backs for about a month and then she announced that she had left her husband over the weekend, moved into an apartment and the happy couple would be living together soon, in paradise, as she sought a divorce.

Fucking great, cuz I knew that was doomed to fail. Eventually Mr. Mage is going to wake up and realize he signed on for a whole lot more than paradise and then there’s going to be trouble.

Another few weeks passed and she announced that she was stepping down from officership, and so was Mr. Mage. (Did I forget to mention that he was an officer too? Oops.) They were far too happy spending time together to retain their officer positions, or to raid or play Warcraft anymore.

No problem, our guildleader demoted her down to member and demoted her offline boyfriend to member also. We wished them well.

The next night, Mr. Mage logged on and All Emo broke loose when he saw he wasn’t an officer anymore. “YTF did we demote him???” “What were we thinking??” He was seriously ticked.

This was us: What. In. The. Fuck?

Someone explained that his girlfriend had told us they weren’t going to play anymore and please demote them. “WTF, she doesn’t speak for (him)!”

Ya, we should have known that. Somehow. I guess. All I knew was, there’s trouble in paradise. Maybe Mr. Mage had woken up and smelled the peanut butter on the Lil Tykes toys, I dunno.

Then this week, which is a month-ish since the “demotion incident”, she left the guild, after saying her goodbyes to a select few. She didn’t say goodbye to me, cuz I never respected their love or some shit, I forget the exact second-hand explanation. Whatever.

Someone asked Loverboy what was up with that and turns out, they had broken up that week (shocking!) and the guild wasn’t big enough for the two of them (equally shocking!)

FOR ONCE, we got the best part of a deal! Hallelujah, it’s gonna be a good week.

Hey, maybe she can sell her priest like she did her other character that we equipped in Tier 2 armor. Oops, did I forget to mention that too? (Foton)

Continue reading →

The Emo Tank: Exit Stage Left

Posted on by
10

So I mentioned that The Emo Tank left our guild a couple weeks ago. (Ya, I’m all broken up about it.) Here’s how it went down:

The Emo Tank had become increasingly unbearable: he was barking out orders in the warrior channel (when no officers were in the channel, of course); he was sending random tells to well-placed guild members asking for their reassurance and support and he was going wonky at the most inopportune moments — mid-Blackwing Lair clear, for instance.

Example: the one BWL clear, the raid leader makes some wisecrack about the tanks. We tittered. Emo-boy spends the next 20 minutes asking me in /tells what the RL meant by that. WTF. He meant nothing. A joke? Ever heard of them? Meanwhile, we’re yucking it up in officer chat channel because we’re assholes like that, but he had no way of knowing that.

How can I be sure? We would have heard him opening the razor package over Ventrilo.

So the one raid night, I’m offline. Some real life obligation, I don’t remember anymore, so I wasn’t witness to this. And I know exactly why Emo Tank chose that evening to wig out — no way in flaming Hell would I have stood for that shit and he knew/knows that. I’m not in charge of the trigger for the guild, but I have no qualms about ordering the assassination.

At any rate, they were flying to the raid zone when one of the officers noticed that Emo-head was still out in Winterspring, a far-flung WoW zone that is nowhere near any of the raid instances. The officer inquired when Emo-head would be departing to meet at the raid zone — they were a little tight on warriors, could use another. Emo-boy told the officer he was going to skip the raid and continue farming faction for his pussy mount. And I mean that literally, a cat mount, but pussy mount is more accurate.

Since Emo Tank was ranked as a guild Raider — including its accompanying privileges and perqs — openly skipping a scheduled guild raid is not an option. As I described another time, we have the two ranks: Raider and Non-raider. Completely voluntary which rank people would prefer, but if they want the privileges and benefits of being a Raider, then goddammit, if they’re online, they’re available to raid. That’s the responsibility part. Emo-boy knew all that, he was making a play.

Now all the officers were upset and pissed off. They asked one of the more-dedicated Raiders to log off her (we think it’s a her, could be wrong) priest and play her warrior for the raid. Now she’s pissed because her priest wanted something from the raid zone. Normally, we don’t hear a peep out of her in guild chat, except “ok” “thanks” and “good night everyone”, but when she saw that Emo wasn’t going to raid because he was working on pussy faction, she said something like “*Emo*, when a raid is called, Raiders are required to fly to the raid zone.”

By his reaction, you’d have thought she called him a dickless, skillless, brainless emo-sack. He just went berserk — she never listens to him about warrior strats, she doesn’t have the same level of play as the other warriors, she doesn’t whatever.

The officers fired a warning shot over his bow. Y’know, time to walk away and cool off, pal, before you’re on the outside looking in.

Continue reading →