My New Best Friends

The more I see of this Guild Wars, the more I like it. In many ways, it smashes all the old rules of online rpg’ing and spits on them.

Like grouping.

If you’ve been keeping up, in GW you can hire these NPC henchmen to round out the quest group and assist out in the field. No charge, but they do ninja loot and coins. Kick ass group members tho — our mage henchmen was tanking a couple of mobs at one point without complaint, or much apparent damage either. Usually, he was flawless in his aggro control, he must have been bored that late in the mission.

One group, we hired a healer henchman, errr, excuse me … it was a henchWOMAN … and rarely have I seen such a stellar performance from a cleric (called monks in GW, whatever). Priests, doctors, friars, monks … they’re all clerics to me.

Damn, she was good. I was a bit behind the others checking the cleared portion for any loot wreckage, chests, whathaveyou, that we might have missed, and the monk comes running back to check on me. She was nuking, healing, meleeing, anything to service OUR needs. Not a single whine did she utter, not a single afk did she take.

Those henchmen are better than real people as groupmembers. Probably superior guildmates, too, but don’t quote me on that.

Our one guildie is so enamored with henchmen now, he never has room in his groups for anyone else. Example: “hey, I have that quest too, can I join ya?” “sorry, full group” “is the group full OF HENCHMEN??? or are they people?” Silence.

He could be taking this thing too far.

Real, live players are always welcome in my groups, as long as there’s still room for Nukey, the sexually ambiguous mage and Healee, superior monk healer — some might call her a slut, but it’s just because she’s free with her sexuality and doesn’t subscribe to modern societal mores.

We’ve grown close.

Master of None

Over the weekend, Guild Wars pushed out a few micro-mini patches. They never tell us what the patches are for, just that terse “new patch is available … GET OUT AND GET IT” message. Not that I need to know, but I’m a curious sort.

Anyhow, I know from the loyal Slashdot readers at AFK Gamer that the terse message means: get out and patch or continue to be annoyed by patch spam every few seconds.

Cool, a patch, thought I. Don’t get that every day in Warcraft, not even every month. heh.

Big problem — patch introduced this universal crash bug somethingorother … hard lockup whenever the character moves. So I rebooted, and headed over to the Guild Wars site to see what’s up and if there’s an ETA (there’s never an ETA, but it could happen someday in some game.) I hadn’t spent too much time exploring their site before, OBVIOUSLY, or else I would have known that they don’t have message boards, just some knowledge base.

Has anybody anywhere ever gotten a solid answer to their question in any knowledge base in under 30 minutes? Those systems have the worst fucking search function on the planet; it would be faster to google.

I know why some gaming houses choose not to run a message board system — I just think it’s horseshit. They may sponsor some “official” fansite to run a system that they’ll occasionally “officially” post on, but what the fuck ever, because everyone knows it’s just a budget decision and the perfect cover for dodging questions.

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The More Things Change …

Any of you lady gamers looking for a VERY eligible man …

Hawt Gamer

… there’s your guy, right there.

Addendum: Heh, for bonus funny points … the Fire guy had asked what’s boring about Warcraft, as the other guy with the 3 (count ’em, 3!!!) level 60s had said he just quit WoW because it was boring. Then Fire adds that he has a level 60 also. Trust me on this … if you have a level 60 in WoW, you know full well what’s boring — there is no need to ask anyone else.

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