I Become Bitter and Twisted

Now I realize that not everything can be fun and games: hard work and reward, pleasure and pain, suffering and relief … one cannot exist without the other. Not every quest can, or should, be “run out five feet, kill 3 of these and return for uberness.” But, dammmn, some of these 50+ quests in Warcraft are a real bitch.

Lately, I’ve been camping these craft components for at least a century in gametime, and all those excrutiating quests from other worlds are passing before my eyes like a House of Horrors. Mountains of corpses at my feet, and, all I have to show for it are backpacks full of crap and ONE of the target items … ONE of sixteen.

It occurs to me, if They (that’s the Developer They Collective) were trying to piss me off, They’re succeeding admirably. And, if I were to write a short list of ways They can infuriate me with Their quests, it would look like this:

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We Need More Fluffers

Skelly

In my neverending quest to assume secret identities, I become the undead.

This was part of a quest reward I completed recently: a drink with 5 charges that granted various illusions for ten minutes each. Other than the occasional uber equipment reward (read: extremely occasional), this reward was our favorite.

Our group (it’s not a party, dammit!) drank up and started to put the hurt on some dinos: one guy was 2 feet tall, the remaining four were skellies. This Horde rogue wandered past and did a virtual double-take. He passed, he stopped, he turned around and stared.

Through the magic of /em’s, he told us that he had been trying to say hello and ‘sup for the past few minutes until it dawned on him that all was not as it appeared. He seemed like a nice enough guy, for a Horde, even with the flesh dripping off his skeleton, so we allowed him to pass through Our Zone unmolested.

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Developer Memos: #3 Customer Service

I haven’t written a Developer Memo for quite a while; I had intended it to be a series when I first hatched my evil scheme, but I got sidetracked by … I’m not sure what. Maybe blackouts. Or displaced SWG rage. Who knows.

Before I get too deep into illegally using my e-friend’s Warcraft info, I’ll do another. This time focusing on Customer Service and Support in MMOGs, it seems important to write this before I experience WoW’s CS system firsthand. Because I’m sure it’s the best ever, since Blizzard is god.

Ya. Moving on…

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