Tag Archives: everquest

May You Get a Chronic Case of Scabies

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Unless you’re new around here, (and by “here” I mean online gaming), you probably know that Furor works for Blizzard as a quest dude. Let me state at the top that, for the most part, the quests in Warcraft are incredibly well done. Engaging stories, witty even, interesting to solve if you’d rather not thottbot, and best of all, they put out with worthwhile rewards — sometimes the uber.

Quests in Warcrack are as well done as the crafting system in Star Wars: Galaxies.

If you’re new, Furor was one of the few EQ player celebrities — by that I mean, he was vocal (as in shrill) and highly-opinionated (as in psychotic). The only other EQ celebrities I can think of now are Thott (even you noobs know him), Zato (the, or one of the, founders of The Safehouse) and maybe the guildleader of the uber guild on my EQ server, who was reknowned mostly because he was such a dick-sucking asshole.

Obviously, we had all heard about some of the other uber guilds, too, but weren’t really aware of who their leaders were, probably because they weren’t … (how to say?) … interesting specimens like Furor and Thott.

Thott, appearing to be the more even-tempered of the two (read: not a raving lunatic), wrote several very articulate and eloquent articles about various issues in EQ. In fact, one of my e-thug friends is convinced that one of Thott’s bard articles is solely responsible for the ass-reaming nerfs that EQ monks received late in the game and he will not, under any circumstances, use Thottbot in Warcrack. (issues!) But I digress.

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We Need More Fluffers

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Skelly

In my neverending quest to assume secret identities, I become the undead.

This was part of a quest reward I completed recently: a drink with 5 charges that granted various illusions for ten minutes each. Other than the occasional uber equipment reward (read: extremely occasional), this reward was our favorite.

Our group (it’s not a party, dammit!) drank up and started to put the hurt on some dinos: one guy was 2 feet tall, the remaining four were skellies. This Horde rogue wandered past and did a virtual double-take. He passed, he stopped, he turned around and stared.

Through the magic of /em’s, he told us that he had been trying to say hello and ‘sup for the past few minutes until it dawned on him that all was not as it appeared. He seemed like a nice enough guy, for a Horde, even with the flesh dripping off his skeleton, so we allowed him to pass through Our Zone unmolested.

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The Regular Crowd Shuffles In

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You know that song “Piano Man” by Billy Joel?

It’s 9 o’clock on a Saturday,
The regular crowd shuffles in.
There’s an old man, sitting next to me,
Makin’ love to his tonic and gin.

My intent in mentioning it here is twofold: stick with me now.

When I was growing up in Middle America, my mother forced piano lessons on all us kids … several years of piano lessons … until she let us throw off the shackles of piano slavery and take up the instruments we really wanted to learn, like electric guitar and drums.

Weren’t we glad then that she made us stick with lessons so long? (Not really, but hell if I’m gonna say that now.)

Anyways, every holiday season, each of us are pressured in turn to play the piano (not having a drum set handy), and the first request is always “Piano Man.” Because it’s so Christmas-y. Or something.

So, on the plane home, it occurs to me that MMOGs are very similar to the regular crowd in that odious song: almost everyone is on their way to somewhere else.

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