Category Archives: World of Warcraft Journal

Online Involuntary Servitude

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I haven’t met up with my EQ/SWG guildmates in World of Warcraft yet. They’re all over there, but I’m reluctant to strap on the guild yoke just yet, so I lied to told them, “Busy with work, I’ll be around for live.” The official guild response was *sigh* … like I’m going to hold them back if I don’t play Open Beta. Which I am, but I’m not. *nudge nudge*

Why am I acting like such a jackass and a social miscreant? I mean, more so than usual? They have a WoW DKP system set up already; they’re mapping out professions for the guild (ex. We need more rogues, dammit!); they’re scheduling guild raids each night. FOR AN OPEN BETA.

I kid you not.

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Dear Warcraft

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Dear World of Warcraft,

I will never love you more than I do right now, this moment, when I’m still a noob — marveling at your newness, enjoying your not-EQness, thinking you’re wonderful in every way. I sprint off to complete your dumass quests with a skip in my step; I cheerfully interact with every NPC; I play with all your options, tenderly, never too harsh with the textures, my love.

You must know it’s doomed between us. You know this can’t last. Nerfs will divide us. Server restarts will try my patience. I will tire of your NPC prattle; MY GOD, how much social interaction can one man fake take? Leveling you will become a chore.

I will call you “out of touch”. I may call you The New Nexus of Evil. I may even cite your past (ahem) indiscretions in player relations. You will label me “demanding”, “unreasonable” even. I’m a cheat, a liar, a thief, you will say.

I’ve been down this road before with other loves. At most, it was three, I swear to you.

O GOD, it was at least two DOZEN. But they meant nothing to me! I’ve never felt this way before (since a year ago).

We’re doomed. But right now, let’s enjoy the moment. I will never love you like this again.

Your servant,
Foton

Randomized WoW Notes

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I’m thinking that World of Warcraft has a very Lord of the Rings-esque soundtrack.

This is the only explanation I have for my frequent urges to hold another man’s virtual face in my hands and tell him to “Be at peace, Son of Gondor”.

Hey, I’m not saying “Lawsuit!”; I’m just saying “I’m not gay”. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.