Ding, level 60. And, now what?

Let me back up.

For couple months now, all of my little guild of e-thugs’ efforts have been focused on dinging level 60 and amassing a small portion of game wealth. We helped the laggers, redid the highly profitable quests ad nauseum for the “lesser” classes among us, gathered crafting components until our asses were numb, and whored every stick of uncommon, rare and epic loot that fell into our virtual laps.

So it was with a great sense of accomplishment that we all dinged level 60, one by one, this weekend.

After a bit of wooting, the one guy asked the obvious, “now what?” (Thanks for ruining the moment, asshole.)

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I know everyone is anxiously awaiting my arrival at the vaunted level 60 in Warcraft. Correction … my guildmates are awaiting the level 60 ding so I’ll stop whoring myself out to any NPC with a gold quest mark over its head.

Let’s be blunt: when a high-50s quest puts out with only 5k of experience, that’s whoring.

Currently, I’m level 59.6666666667, approximately 6 bubs of exp to whore, and I’ll get right on that after I stop at my local tavern and knock back a couple.

While I’m buckling down and winning Warcraft this weekend, I’ll be incommunicado. I know my priorities and they are thus: Superbowl, collect on Superbowl, train the shit out of that fucking Horde rogue that tried to steal a chest from me last night, and level 60.

This kind of orgy-riffic weekend (games, sports, booze and trays of processed meats) only comes once a year; I will indulge to the fullest.

I leave you, albeit temporarily, with my super secret Superbowl and/or online-gaming snack tip: Bacon. No, really. Everything tastes better with bacon on it, wrapped around it, crumbled on it, stuffed inside it, or served instead of it.

Now don’t say I never gave out any l337 information.

Next week: Fashion tips involving Eating Pants.