Category Archives: World of Warcraft Journal

I’ve Got Mail!

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11

Running around Westfall, the not-quite-so-noob zone of World of Warcraft, killing some of this and a little of that, cursing my ineffective skills, watching the dumass paladins skid across the dirt after being schooled by the Defias Brotherhood, when all of a sudden I see that … I’ve Got Mail!!!

Hot damn, better stone back to the outpost and open that bad boy up … could be some noob piece of shit equipment from a guildmate: something (anything) to make my third assault on Westfall a bit more pleasant. How about some money? Money is always a welcome gift, in game or out. Health, mana, defense, agility potions, all welcome, too. Why, it could be anything!

Ya, I was dreaming.

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There Are No Noobs Here

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12

Do you remember that golden time in your chosen MMOG?

That time when you’re a badass almost-max-level and most of the players are just climbing aboard, the much-coveted word of mouth finally had reached them? When you could offer a few coins to have a noob farm some crap for you, and, he (she) was happy to get some pocket change, you were happy to be relieved of crap farming and all was right with the world?

Maybe you had a chore back in Noobville, you ran back and were surrounded by beggars, thieves and admirers alike? You had a few minutes before the scheduled raid and gave generously of your advice, if not your money, to the true noobs, the untwinked.

Ya, I remember that time, too.

Listen up cupcake, that time is OVER. ‘Twas but a golden moment in time and it ain’t never coming back.

So, if you want me to get my noob alt off his ass, or any of these other noob twinks, you better bring some gold. By November 2004’s standards, we are rich beyond avarice, so open those pursestrings wide — we need MOTIVATION to aid, assist or abet.

There are no noobs here.