Category Archives: Noteworthy

A Farmboy’s Wages

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A major nuisance in World of Warcraft as the community and the game matures is the stealth farmer — the professional that needs to group and raid, but can only do so if he hides his professional status.

Probably as a result of the various anti-farm measures (bans, loots nerfs, rogue stealth nerfs, spawn adjustments to instances), making a living as a Warcraft gold farmer isn’t the gravy train it once was. Hell, making a living as a legit player isn’t the same gravy train either. So thanks for that.

Accordingly, there’s some pressure on the professionals to appear legit: to avoid detection by the Blizzard Collective AND to sneak their way into your juicy loot raid and score a few pieces. You don’t want that. Number one, they are the worst players anywhere. And number two, they won’t be satisfied to walk away with one piece of green loot that’s won more than halfway through the raid.

Trust me on that — as soon as they score something to add to the Auction House, they will be walking away … midraid … the sooner the better. Join another hapless raid, repeat, it’s a living.

You finally fill out your raid with required classes + others, everyone finally arrives at the instance, buffs are passed around, mana water is passed around, the puller pulls, the tank tanks, the raid kills, loot is rolled on, then … where the fuck did that rogue go? He’s in Ironforge, WTF.

Ok, you just got burned by a pro.

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The Agony of Leveling

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I know how it is. You just want to get through this level. Higher level, maybe better skills, spells and equipment, access to new adventure areas — it has tremendous appeal.

And heaven help you if it’s the last level … despite volumes of mathematical evidence to the contrary, that last level takes 49 years longer than any level before. This is why raising the max level in a MMOG should be considered a gaming felony. Raising the max more than once … Class X Felony. (EverQuest, I’m looking in your direction here.)

If I can pass on one kernel of gaming wisdom to any n00bs out there, it is this: a watched experience bar never dings. I know, it’s tempting! Save yourself some grief, don’t look.

While I’m on the subject, the following mind games don’t pass the time any faster either:

– Don’t look for X number of minutes and try to guess how far you are.
– Estimate the number of mobs to kill before the ding and count the mobs instead.
– Estimate the number of minutes until the ding or per experience bar segment, then check for accuracy.
– Sketch out a graph with periodic intervals for level completion, shading in the intervals as you go.

I know, I’ve tried them all. (And more!)

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Must Have Emotes

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My short list of must-have emotes, with animations, for MMOGs:

1. /shrug — faster than typing “I dunno”, shorthand for “how the hell would I know how to get out of this dungeon?”

2. /sigh — the best way to express disappointment with that recent raid wipe that could have been avoided if only people would listen to your instructions.

3. /golfclap — sarcastic clapping. So rude, I love it.

4. /spit — some people don’t like spit, I do. I save this for mobs and mob corpses tho; I don’t use it in PvP. That’s minor league shit.

5. /point — subtle means of pointing out the guild scapegoat. “Who the hell pulled all that???” /point

Bonus emotes (nice to haves) … the bodily function emotes: your /burps, /farts, /coughs and /sneezes, but only if the sneeze blasts snot on other players.

I’d also like to have a /noogie, /wedgie and /headbutt (with animations!), but I doubt we’ll see those any time soon.