I don’t consider this spoiling the ending; I was “foreshadowing”. Big difference.

I think the heat thing is solved — it damn well better be or I know a computer nerd who’s gonna get sand kicked into his face — the ACTUAL PAID WORK thing will take some time, however.

To reward you for checking up on me and asking after my health (I’m fine, thanks!), I’ll relate a quick anecdote from Lord of the Rings Online last week.

I’m in this PUG (the dreaded Pick Up Group) to kill this elite boss in Garth Agarwen — Ivar. In the group is a level 39 hunter. I think he was a hunter, he didn’t really do anything as I recall. Anyways, as soon as he joined, he’s all full of advice cuz he knows it all.

One thing he didn’t know was how to get to Garth Agarwen on his own. So I showed him how to arrive safely at the zone-in, using one of those kinda exploit-y shortcuts. After zoning in, TWENTY minutes after everyone else arrived, he started up with his unsolicited advice again. Oh how I hated him.

He never set traps for huge trash pulls, never helped out the minstrels (the LOTRO main healers), never used assist to DPS the mob everyone else was focusing on. Three things he did do all the time, however: 1. He’d hit the crowd-controlled mobs much to our lore-master’s chagrin, 2. He’d run ahead into the next room and train the resting group with his aggro shit and 3. He knew what the rest of us were doing wrong.

So we were close to Ivar’s room and someone had a few hints and tips for the encounter — naturally, the hunter knew better, even though, I will remind you, HE HAD NEVER BEEN THERE BEFORE. We finished the last trash clear before Ivar, the minstrels were recovering power (that’s mana in LOTRO), etc. and hunter-tool runs into Ivar’s room and starts the encounter. So much for the last-minute strategy talk.

We wiped, of course. We run back and the group is yelling at the hunter for running in early. He denies it. Also, we don’t know what we’re doing. And we should shut up.

Ok, that’s when I’d had enough of his bullshit. Which is what I said. “I’ve had about enough of your bullshit and I’ll pay real money for you to shut up.”

He turned his character around to face me, with his back to Ivar’s room and asked me what the hell was my problem. I was about to say, “you’re my problem” but before I could, the idiot accidentally backs into Ivar’s room and starts the encounter again. Heh, he tried to run back out before Ivar would notice, but Ivar’s no fool — /begin encounter.

Graveyard visit #2.

I asked him if he was going to deny starting the encounter that time too. All he said was, “cya fuckface” and then he left.

Since he chose the singular “fuckface” rather than the plural “fuckfaces”, I assumed he meant me. Which I don’t have a problem with.

What I do have a problem with, what concerns me, is the “cya” part.

Why in the world would he think I’d want to see him again?

Now he spends his days whittling.

Day after day, he’s whittling these … devices. Thought me, demand must be really high.

Then, I gained a few levels and moved on to the Lone-Lands where I met Constable Ashleaf.

Obviously, demand is much higher than I thought.

UPDATE!!

The Forsaken Inn whittler is a supplier too!

FFS. It’s a goddamn national pasttime.

(Pictured: The Prancing Pony tavern of Lord of the Rings Online)

I know LOTRO and I are still on our honeymoon. I know I have the flush and the zeal of the newly converted, but, I AM SMITTEN.

I was swept off my feet. I wasn’t looking to make a big commitment — I just wanted a little fun on the side — and I have fallen hard for this game. Maybe you won’t love her like I do, and that’s ok, because she and I have something special right now. I don’t know if the end game will be as rich and carefree as our early days together have been, but if it is … I am so DOWN with this game.

I LOVE that there’s a “Pie-Eating Champion”.

(See? Hi, Cardinal Phang! You’re almost famous.)

I LOVE that I’m reading quest text now. I was a click-through questor from way back. Ya, ya, ya, we all have problems, Joe NPC, what do I need to kill/fetch/deliver? Now, I’m like: Brigands you say?? Stealing your weed, eh? THOSE BASTARDS! Sit tight, lil hobbit, I’m on the case.

I LOVE that the Old Forest is one of the spookiest in-game experiences I’ve ever had. I’m swatting flies, on my way to see a lady about some water, and the trees (elite ones, mind you) start creaking and moving. Thought me: I’m so dead, I’m so dead, I’m so dead, why didn’t I bring friends like the lippy NPC suggested?

I LOVE that the pre-order Founders’ in-game extra items are worth a damn.

I LOVE the area kill messages, or was killed by, as the case may be. Ok, I actually only LOVE the “was killed by” messages.

I LOVE the /music system where players can perform their own music with in-game instruments. I love that most of it is incredibly bad and that I would also be bad, but it’s depth and flavor.

I LOVE the crafting system, with farmers and foresters and scholars, although I’m not a crafter myself usually. I don’t know why we need pipe weed yet, but if I can blow dragon smoke-rings, call me a smoker.

I don’t even know all that I’ll love about my new mistress yet, but I’m eager to discover all the ways. Please GOD, let me love this game past level 20.

I can hardly wait to be with her again.