Author Archives: Foton

Ezra and his Flame-Throwing Crossbow

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Touching story in The Orange County Register (please don’t call it The OC) yesterday, Blizzard makes WoW wish virtual reality, about 10 year-old Ezra Chatterton, aka Ephoenix level 70 tauren hunter. Ezra has a cancerous brain tumor, and with the help of the Make-A-Wish Foundation, he spent an entire day at Blizzard Entertainment headquarters designing a quest, NPCs and a crossbow to his liking and specifications.

WoW players should keep an eye out for Chatterton’s creations: the rare, flame-shooting crossbow, a quest from a graying Tauren named Ahab Wheathoof and his frenzied dog, Kyle. Blizzard will add Ezra’s changes to the game in the next four weeks.

Best wish ever.

Patch 2.1.0

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World of Warcraft’s Patch 2.1 was pushed to the live servers today, and since I already beat that dead horse, I’ll direct you to the players’ analyses on the forums: 2.1 Winners and losers — predictably uninformative AND entertaining, all at once.

And speaking of entertaining, I enjoyed the worldofwarcraft.com’s home page redirect for the StarCraft 2 announcement …

Blizzard Entertainment

… because I got to thinking, that could be a whole new branding for Blizzard. I don’t mind that Blizzard takes such tiny steps all the time in fixing shit (balancing, adjusting, polishing, whathaveyou), it’s that they’re so damn slow about it.

Anyways, the full patch notes from the actual Patch 2.1 would choke a horse, so I’ll let WoWWiki do all the work.

Prostitute Needed Epic Mount

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Emailer Kristen sent along this link to a 04/2007 Craigslist ad, which has the stink of “staged” all over it, but it’s a funny precept nonetheless: An EPIC mount! (warcraft players look inside) (bonus! The followup, including screenshots of the original ad)

Posting ID #308349637 wrote:

Hello I need 5000 world of gold for my epic flying mount. In return you can mount me.

You have to have an account on the laughing skull server and I want the 5000 gold BEFORE we do anything, we can make the trade at your place since I can’t host. EDIT: Because I am having a lot of dumb guys message me who clearly don’t have the gold make SURE to send: a picture of yourself and a screenshot of your character with the 5000g, I will be checking armory profiles, thanks.

I play a level 70 night elf druid and would prefer someone who was into roleplaying (I have a costume!) but honestly anyone will do, as long as you have the gold. I would also be ok with a woman too, as long as you have the gold! Also not adverse to the idea of groups\anal.

Please send a pic and be real and drug\disease free with 5000 gold on the laughing skull server.

(the next day)

Posting ID #308349637 has her epic flying mount and a smile on her face.

So talk all the trash you want, I got MY Epic flying mount AND I got laid which is more than most of you failures can ever hope for.

She’s the one turning tricks for pixels and the rest of us are failures? Interesting.