Author Archives: Foton

Way Back When

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Back when I was AOL user #24, hoping user #25 would come along some day, I ran into AOL’s gaming area and tried out a little PVP shooter named Rolemaster:  Magestorm (MS).  By today’s standards, this ancient shooter was as primitive as using chopsticks to eat soup.  In it’s day though, it was the shit.

The Setup:  Three teams, Chaos (red), Balance (green) and Order (blue) each of which has a home area that must be conquered/defended within one of three different maps available — The Cathedral (our overwhelming favorite), Catacombs, or the dreaded Thunderkeep (notoriously difficult to defend).
 
Wanna hear scary?  I remembered all of that and it’s been over five years since I’ve played.
 
O those were the days!  PVP was new, graphical gaming was new, hacking game code just for the hell of it was new.  We invented cyber, baby!  The scams, griefs and backstabbing that you are so familiar with in online society today — that was us.
 
I remember several times when this one guy would take over control of the game and change everyone’s player name.  (Mike the hacker we called him.  He was the god of turning an MS night into a night of chaos and anarchy.)

One weekend, they patched in what became known as “The Hacker Patch”.  Basically, the patch compared a player’s set of trained spells with their earned experience points and deleted any players whose training was mathematically impossible.  (Why in the world they didn’t have this in the original code, I dunno.  Devs were new too in those days.)
 
The next week, many of the players we used to play with were gone.  I was vindicated, however, as a couple of asshats had been accusing me (!!!) of cheating.  Maybe I had just been clever enough to restore my original spell set before the patch.
 
The world will never know.  That one goes to the grave with me.

Site Taglines, Sep 06 – Present

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The comprehensive list of the taglines used on this site from September 2006 through today, in reverse chronological order, including artist/author credits and album art:

10/01/07 – present — I know all your guild’s secrets. (Well, I do.)

I Wish - Stevie Wonder's Songs in the Key of Life      Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger's Where have all the merrymakers gone?     The Lord of the Rings via Digik Gallery       Games without Frontiers - Peter Gabriel III

09/14/07 – 09/29/07 — I know something about opening windows and doors. (“Intruder” by Peter Gabriel.)

07/15/07 – 09/13/07 — There and back again. (Bilbo and Frodo Baggins’ memoirs, as described in The Hobbit  and The Lord of the Rings, respectively.)

02/03/07 – 07/14/07 — Writing something nasty on the wall. (“I Wish” by Stevie Wonder.)

01/12/07 – 02/02/07 — The agony and the irony, they’re killing me. (“Flagpole Sitta” by Harvey Danger.)

When You Were Young - The Killers' Sam's Town      Lord Victor Nefarius      Summer's Cauldron - XTC's Skylarking      Dream Police - Cheap Trick

12/22/06 – 01/11/07 — doesn’t look a thing like Jesus. (“When You Were Young” by The Killers.)

10/01/06 – 12/21/06 — Let the games begin. (Lord Victor Nefarius, World of Warcraft despot.)

09/08/06 – 09/30/06 — This is how I would want to go. (“Summer’s Cauldron” by XTC.)

09/01/06 – 09/07/06 — They live inside of my head. (“Dream Police” by Cheap Trick.)

Site Taglines, Sep 05 – Aug 06

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The comprehensive list of the taglines used on this site from September 2005 through August 2006, in reverse chronological order, including artist credits and album art:

I Wanna Be Sedated - Ramones' Road to Ruin      Love Train - Wolfmother      Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace's One-X      A Long December - Counting Crows' Recovering the Satellites

08/18/06 – 08/31/06 — I wanna be sedated. (“I Wanna Be Sedated” by the Ramones.)

08/11/06 – 08/17/06 — Saw different faces in different places. (“Love Train” and when I sing along, of course I change the song to “Loot Train”, by Wolfmother)

08/04/06 – 08/10/06 — Can’t escape this cell. (“Animal I Have Become” by Three Days Grace)

07/28/06 – 08/03/06 — A lot of oysters, no pearls. (“A Long December” by Counting Crows)

My Own Worst Enemy - Lit's A Place in the Sun      When We Was Fab - George Harrison's Cloud Nine      Empty Glass - Pete Townshend's Empty Glass      Misunderstood - Wilco's Kicking Television

07/14/06 – 07/27/06 — I am my own worst enemy. (“My Own Worst Enemy” by Lit)

06/16/06 – 07/13/06 — Back long time ago when grass was green. (“When We Was Fab” by George Harrison)

06/09/06 – 06/15/06 — Been there, drank there, slaved there. (“Empty Glass” by Pete Townshend)

06/02/06 – 06/08/06 — Short on long term goals. (“Misunderstood” by Wilco)

Goin Out West - Tom Waits' Bone Machine      Birdhouse in Your Soul - They Might Be Giant's Flood      Tales of Brave Ulysses - Cream's Disreali Gears      Low Rider - War's Why Can't We Be Friends?

05/26/06 – 06/01/06 — Gonna drive all night, get some speed. (“Goin’ Out West” by Tom Waits)

05/19/06 – 05/25/06 — Leaving out the whistles and bells. (“Birdhouse in Your Soul” by They Might Be Giants)

05/12/06 – 05/18/06 — Tales of brave Ulysses. (“Tales of Brave Ulysses” by Cream)

05/05/06 – 05/11/06 — Take a little trip with me. (“Low Rider” by War)

Run - Collective Soul's Dosage      Long Live Rock - The Who's Odds and Sods      6 Underground - Sneaker Pimps' Becoming X      Cubicle - Rinocerose's Schizophonia

04/28/06 – 05/04/06 — Is this the prize I’ve waited for. (“Run” by Collective Soul)

04/21/06 – 04/27/06 — Be it dead or alive. (“Long Live Rock” by The Who)

04/07/06 – 04/20/06 — Open to falling from grace. (“6 Underground” by Sneaker Pimps)

03/31/06 – 04/06/06 — You spend all your time in a little cubicle. (“Cubicle” by Rinocerose)

Race for the Prize - The Flaming Lips' The Soft Bulletin      Revolution 1 - The Beatles' White Album      Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz' Demon Days      Video Violence - Lou Reed's Mistrial

03/24/06 – 03/30/06 — Locked in heated battle. (“Race for the Prize” by The Flaming Lips)

03/17/06 – 03/23/06 — We all wanna change the world. (“Revolution One” by The Beatles)

03/10/06 – 03/16/06 — Cuz they don’t know whack. (“Feel Good Inc.” by Gorillaz)

03/03/06 – 03/09/06 — This is the age of video violence. (“Video Violence” by Lou Reed)

Memphis in the Meantime - John Hiatt's Bring the Family      The Carpet Crawlers - Genesis' The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway      Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes' Elephant      X.Y.U. - Smashing Pumpkins' Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

02/24/06 – 03/02/06 — Hanging around this town just a little too long. (“Memphis in the Meantime” by John Hiatt)

02/17/06 – 02/23/06 — Got to get in to get out. (“The Carpet Crawlers” by Genesis)

02/10/06 – 02/16/06 — Every single one’s got a story to tell. (“Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes)

02/03/06 – 02/09/06 — Into the eyes of the jackal I say ka-boom. (“X.Y.U.” by Smashing Pumpkins)

Life during Wartime - Talking Head's Fear of Music      Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here      All Apologies - Nirvana's In Utero      Mad World - Donnie Darko soundtrack

01/27/06 – 02/02/06 — Got three passports, a couple of visas, don’t even know my real name. (“Life during Wartime” by Talking Heads)

01/20/96 – 01/26/06 — Exchanged a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage. (“Wish You Were Here” by Pink Floyd)

01/13/06 – 01/19/06 — What else should I write, I don’t have the right. (“All Apologies” by Nirvana)

01/06/06 – 01/12/06 — I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. (“Mad World” by Gary Jules)

Locomotive Breath - Jethro Tull's Aqualung      Happy Xmas - John Lennon's Legend      Try Not to Breathe - REM's Automatic for the People      Are We the Waiting - Green Day's American Idiot

12/30/05 – 01/05/06 — The shuffling madness (“Locomotive Breath” by Jethro Tull)

12/23/05 – 12/29/05 — Another year over and a new one just begun. (“Happy Xmas” by John Lennon)

12/16/05 – 12/22/05 — I have seen things that you will never see. (“Try Not to Breathe” by REM)

12/09/05 – 12/15/05 — Heads or tails and fairytales. (“Are We the Waiting” by Green Day)

Do the Evolution - Pearl Jam's Yield      Leaving Las Vegas - Sheryl Crow's Tuesday Night Music Club      Fitter Happier - Radiohead's Ok Computer      Nobody Told Me - John Lennon's Milk and Honey

12/02/05 – 12/08/05 — Buying stocks on the day of the crash. (“Do the Evolution” by Pearl Jam)

11/28/05 – 12/01/05 — No joker, no jack, no king. Bleh. (“Leaving Las Vegas” by Sheryl Crow)

11/18/05 – 11/27/05 — No longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows. (“Fitter Happier” by Radiohead)

11/11/05 – 11/17/05 — Everybody’s talking. No one says a word. (“Nobody Told Me” by John Lennon)

Maggie McGill - The Doors' Morrison Hotel      Lost in the Supermarket - The Clash's London Calling      Loser - Beck's Mellow Gold      Games without Frontiers - Peter Gabriel III

11/4/05 – 11/10/05 — Been singing the blues ever since the world began. (“Maggie McGill” by The Doors)

10/28/05 – 11/3/05 — I wasn’t born so much as I fell out. (“Lost in the Supermarket” by The Clash)

10/21/05 – 10/27/05 — Hung himself with a guitar string. (“Loser” by Beck)

10/14/05 – 10/20/05 — Costumes, silly games, treetops, shouting out rude names. (“Games without Frontiers” by Peter Gabriel)

****

10/7/05 – 10/13/05 — Fought the Law. Law won. (“I Fought the Law” by Sonny Curtis, covered by many)

6/04 through 9/05 — My so-called online life. (by me. Some internet chick later STOLE this, but whatever.)