Author Archives: Foton

Screenshot Friday

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Spanning the World of Warcraft …

Hannah

This is Hannah. She lives in Lakeshire in the Redridge Mountains. Not to be insensitive, but damn, that is one ugly kid.

Orc patrols

Some noob kept asking in the public channel where to find a Lakeshire NPC. Even though he was told, in great detail, several times, where to find said NPC, searching around inside the Inn proved too much for him.

Just delete

Some Westfall noob asked how to summon his warlock voidwalker, and one of my guildmates (Mate01) kindly responded that he needed a soul shard. A level 20 warlock that didn’t know where to get a soul shard. Ya. Scary.

Priests

Foton explains it all. My priest alt took on a few too many gnolls and hit the dirt right in front of a small group of onlookers. The shame of it!!

Shemales

When creating the army of alts, one guildmate decided to try out the other gender and is having a little too much fun with that.

Bypassing content

I was bypassing content in the Zul’FuckedUp instance. Didn’t do a very good job of it, though, as evidenced by the dozens of newly-spawned trolls in my way.

Remember kids, don’t bypass content like Foton does. And if you must, do a better job of it.

A Seven Alt Army

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While seeking a new game goal to inspire our level-60 mains to do something (anything) besides watch the Auction House, we’ve been working on our army of alts. Our current plan is to fill the gaps in our class structure, which previously was … DPS, DPS and more DPS.

So our new strat is this: everyone that has a DPS main (which is everyone), half make tank alts, the other half make healer alts. The other part of the strat is: the sooner this is over, the better, so have a level 60 babysitter around at all times to make sure the alts always win. And quickly.

The time-honored tradition of the powerlevel, reworked Warcraft-style.

Now, we realize there are few things more annoying than working on your noob main in a noob area and some badass level 60 arrives to mow down everything in sight for the benefit of the gimpo alts following behind. We’re sensitive to the community.

If someone asks to join for a tough noob quest, we’ll hook him up. (Not for a collection quest though, he’s on his own for that crap — our level 60s have better things to do than help some stranger collect 35 troll nuts. Ok, they really don’t have anything better to do, but they’re still not helping with troll nuts.) And, if we arrive to a quest area after a noob group, we’ll wait silently for them to either finish or graveyard it.

As our involuntarily-elected leader puts it, “let’s try not to burn every bridge on the server.” Sometimes he adds, “right, Foton?”, which is entirely uncalled for because I’m usually quite nice to other players, if I interact with them at all.

Even with our newfound community sensitivity, we sometimes get grumbles from the real noobs in the quest area, but whatever, because we will be doing this quest and we will be using a level 60 to ensure victory and we really don’t care if people think that’s bastardizing a roleplay game. It’s not like some noob is gonna shame us into playing it straight, all over again.

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Program to Crush

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This Warcraft player was asking if reporting hack sites to Blizzard really does any good becaues most communication with our overlords only results in a bot response. Which I’m kind of used to anyhow, with all that time I’ve spent playing Sony games.

Caydiem, Blizzard minion, responded later:

Our efforts to take over the Internet have been met with surprising resistance… in the meantime, we have to rely on our legal department to act on the sites while at the same time working with our software to make the programs ineffective. It’s a lengthy process and, due to the nature of the whole thing, I can’t offer up a list of Sites We Have Crushed. Rest assured we are acting on them, however, on all fronts.

Heh. Really, what can they say? I imagine it is a long and laborious process, and as soon as one hole is plugged up, there’s another leak that needs attention.

And, how ’bout that Community Manager gig at those gaming companies? What a thankless job that must be.

Could. not. pay. me. enough.