Author Archives: Foton

It Was About Damn Time

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Ring of About Damn TimeHow much fun could you have with this … The World of Warcraft Item Creator?

This has some huge prank-a-riffic possibilities — for your guild front page, your guild forums, your little brother’s MySpace page — if you can get at least one person to scurry to Thottbot to find where the item drops, you’ve scored.

Which reminds me of one of my favorite guild pranks as of late. Boss mob dies, raid leader announces loot in guildchat to begin the loot bidding/arguments, use the emote system to create a fake looting message, e.g. Foton receives loot: [Pendant of the Fallen Dragon]. Particularly effective with legendary drops (the default emote color is similar to legendary clickable links), you can still score with other items. Consider your prank a success if at least one person says ‘wtf’ or, even better if they click on the link.

That loot emote prank is where I premiered the above ring, by the way. We were having a “difficult” raid with some newer members and when that sonuva-B was finally down, Foton receives loot: [Ring of About Damn Time].

I live to entertain.

He Needs to be Slapped after He Drinks His Milk

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Continuing my theme of creepy gaming children that need to have the internet cable RIPPED OUT OF THE HOUSE, here’s a Google Video of an Xbox clan match sidetracked by chocolate milk, or rather, the lack thereof. The setup: a 9 year-old is told to get off the Xbox, he argues with his mom because 1. he is in a clan match and 2. he wants some motherfucking chocolate milk. (NSFW audio. That’s right. A 9 year-old is Not Safe For Work.)

Unforgiven

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Dandelion of Warcraft’s Whisperwind realm was out and about in the world on her level 38 hunter, minding her own business no doubt, when she unwisely decided to tangle with a level 46 Alliance warlock. Later, seeking some payback with her more able-bodied character, she exacts her revenge on the warlock while he is … how to say? … resting in the Lakeshire Inn with his lady friend. The well-told story, in her own words, from the Warcraft forums is here.

Oh, but that’s not all. Upon reading her story, which is like something out of Unforgiven, Whisperwind residents Thorrbo and Sage tried to get the warlock’s side of the story and were treated to some misdirected cybering and told off by the warlock’s lady friend, who explained that they were both 14 years old (as opposed to 35-year-old men).

I’m not buying 14 years old for this reason alone: those mistells sure have the stink of booze and I’d like to think that there are no 14 year olds anywhere that are playing Warcraft drunk. Please do not correct me on this.

Also:
Archived thread (for when the live thread dies)
I saved the screenshots in a Flickr photoset for easier viewing. (click all sizes on each photo page for a larger view.)

Story found by frequent commenter Elbows.