Today I had to stop off at Barnes & Nobles, impersonal bookstore of the masses, for this work project I have going. (No, it’s not about lesbian wood elf hardcore porn. But welcome, lesbian wood elf hardcore porn Googlers!)

I got my work shit from the reference desk dude and noticed that I had almost an hour until lunch. No way I’m driving back to work to return phone calls for 30 minutes THEN head out to lunch — better that I waste otherwise productive work time browsing. So I’m browsing and treating B & N like my own personal public library of bestsellers when it hit me: I wonder if my B & N has Lum’s book of MMOG dirty little secrets in stock! (UPDATE: Lum changed his permalinks. It’s a long story. Here’s an updated link.)

Bypassing the front sections of the store, I hunted around for the Games Section … Poker? No. Suduko? Umm, wtf? Bridge? Fercrissakes. Back of the store: Mystery (well, kinda, but no), Literature (definitely not), Current Affairs (yawn), ELECTRONIC ENTERTAINMENT. Score!

Three copies of Lum’s book. See?

I snagged that front copy there and found a comfy chair for “browsing”. The bathroom.

Actually, I found an armchair nearby and skimmed through the serious chapters on Characters, Groups, Guilds, Raids, all the standard stuff that noobs learn sooner or later — mostly later. My favorite section of the Dummies series is the last one, The Part of Tens, so I skipped ahead to Lum’s Tens.

His Tens:

Ten Things I Wish I Knew When I Played My First MMG — a few amusing anecdotes that most game hags will recognize from their own personal experience. Liked it.

Ten MMG-Related Web Sites — meh. All sites we’ve heard of and, in some cases, have grown to hate (yes, I mean you, Poindexters), but a good schmear for the noobs to chew on. f13, The Corp and Penny Arcade are mentioned, however, which are very solid recommendations for noob and game hag alike.

The best of his Tens: Ten Proudest Achievements in an MMG (from Selected Players) — fun, fun, fun. Ten personal gaming anecdotes from players across several games, I read every one of them. (For free too! I was just browsing, not buying.)

After the Tens is the glossary of l33tsp34k, we all know these, but then we’re not noobs, are we? AFK Gamer gets a small mention in the “A” section … AFK: away from keyboard. Sweet!

Also included with the book is a DVD with free trials for Dark Age of Camelot, cool, and Shadowbane, err, not so cool. That’s just wrong — I’m still having nasty flashbacks about the Shadowbane UI.

Concluding, I think Lum’s book would be a nice companion guide for a fresh noob just getting his start in virtual worlds — might flatten out that steep learning curve. Above all else, it would do no harm, DVD trials notwithstanding.

Since I enjoyed my browsing time, I decided I’d help out Lum a little with the sales. Not by buying a copy mind you, but by placing his book in a more prominent position in the B & N: The Nonfiction Bestsellers.

(You’re welcome.)