Here’s some good news. I’m working on getting assigned to the (dreaded) groups 7 or 8 for our guild raids and I’ll tell you why: I want to live blog endgame Warcraft raids.

(Stop that! This can work.)

I’ve always known this could be a comedy goldmine, but sadly, I’m usually in groups 1 or 2 (out of the possible eight). Pressure. The weight of the world on us. All that. So I’m pushing to get into the (dreaded) groups 7 or 8.

As far as I’ve seen, groups 7 and/or 8 have pretty much NOTHING to do in the entire Warcraft endgame except throw their arms in the air, wail, gnash teeth, and blame groups 1 and 2 for not carrying the weight of the world. You can see the beauty here — I’m IDEAL for that role.

I expect it will go like this:

Raid: Ok, on time attendance log now.

Warlocks: WHAT THE???? Wait!!!!!!!!!! Leaving Ironforge now, hold attendance!!!

Raid: Get ready for buffs, gather.

Warlocks 1 and 2: Put me on log, have to get a few shards.

(Ya, none of us understands the whole warlock thing either. Why aren’t they the first to arrive? Why don’t they ever have shards, an essential component for their class-exclusive abilities??? We don’t know. They just don’t.)

The Whispercast Users: Whispercast — bla bla bla me bla bla bla buff bla bla tell bla bla maybe bla bla whatever. kthx.

(Whispercast is this buff mod whereby you send a tell to the buffer with the name — AND I MEAN THE EXACT NAME — of the desired buff, which he/she queues and fires at will. Because buffing is terribly complicated for these people. Ya, I don’t get that either.)

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