Warcraft Widows

Yahoo! Groups : WoW Widows — Not entirely unexpected, World of Warcraft has an internet support group for those abandoned and neglected by their Warcraft-playing loved ones. Unless you have a similar issue at home, you should only read and reflect. You don’t go to the circus, jump into the center ring and start doing tricks with the lions, fcs.

344 thoughts on “Warcraft Widows


    look and find out how long he spent on that game…i did that with my bf when he was on it loads and i just showed him how long he actually played on the game n then made him think how long he spent with me and the game had loads more time than i did with him n it kinda made him realise abit that he was chossing the game over me and spending too much time on it….so if iwas you get looking asap and just show him and then ask him how much time he spends with you and children (if you got any) and see the difference it may make him realise like my bf did and i think thats why m bf has cut down alot more and spends more time with me
    good luck
    let us no how you got on
    kim 😀

  2. I’m a girl. I play WoW. I think it’s a great game.

    However. I know when enough is enough. I am an huge game fan and I do play hours at a time on occation. I have played 12 hour sessions or more at a time before, I admit.

    But that is only at times which I know a loved one or a friend has not wanted to see me or hang out with me. My family and friends are set before games.

    Hey, I will never call someone a nerd if they dedicate huge amounts of time to a game because I do it too. And I don’t consider myself a nerd. I just know that when people I care about need me, I drop the games right away and do stuff with them.

    There is a happy medium and people important to me come before games.

    There is a difference between your bf or gf playing a lot of games or just down right neglecting the relationship. If he or she refuses to go out or have relations on a regular basis due to hanging out with people over an MMORPG then they are being obsessive jerks about their game. But if they spend hours on a game and still find time to please other people, like I manage to do, then it’s fine.

    You can do it. It’s possible.

    It just looks like many guys that the women speak of here fit into the “Obsessive jerk” category. And these men are wrong for it and need to seek help.

    Although I do take offense to a few of the comments that state playing over a few hours a day makes you a sad loser nerd. Seeing as I fit that category and do not at all consider myself one. I simply know what’s most important in life at the time. Weekends I see my friends, but during the week, when people are just too busy, I play WoW or another game after work. That hurts no one. Most people watch TV or do something else in that time. I never watch TV, I see TV as a bigger waste of time seeing as you do actually use a bit more brain power playing a game… hehe

  3. It’s true. it is really fat. My girlfriend got addicted to WoW. it was so upsetting that i dumped that fat dike. and now it turns out i am gay. its pretty funny how things like that work out

  4. I got addicted to Counter-Strike a few years back. I remember my gf’s (now wife’s) tears, and the discussions about how I’d come home from work and jump straight in front of the PC without really talking to her first.

    Those chats were really hurtful and frustrating for me at the time, but I knew she was right. I made a decision to put some perspective back in my life. I still play games today, but I understand their place; I really only play after everyone else has gone to bed, and even then, maybe once or twice a week. I still use the PC more than I would like to, but I’m working on that.

    I now have a great relationship with my wife, two absolutely perfect little boys whom I enjoy spending time with, and yes, an online gaming social life in addition to my real one. But I learned how to manage it. I don’t need to convince you that gaming can be psychologically addictive – but please realise that just like smoking or drinking, it’s not the drug that causes the trouble, and it (usually) isn’t the person – it’s a function of the addiction itself. It’s what addiction does to a person’s brain. It can turn a regular nice guy into a messed up caricature of themselves, and part of what it does is make it harder for that person to see that it’s happening.

    People do come back from this. They can eventually have “what was I thinking?” moments. What helped me to get there was when I noticed how the reactions my gf was having were so out of character for her… what was causing that?? Oh shit, it’s me. Whoa.

    Maybe start with some little goals, like finishing by a certain time, or having one night off entirely, planned a day in advance. Punctuate the gameplay; put some structure into it, and build it back into a wider context of real life. Bit by bit, encourage them to tighten the box around WoW until they can metaphorically hold this hobby in the palm of their hand, and look curiously upon it from outside.

    I don’t know what else to suggest; I’m not an expert. But please know that it _is_ possible.

  5. I think it is unfair how you changed what Aaron said. there is a thing called freedom of expression … bla bla bla about freedom of expression and censorship.

    Oh wait, I forgot how I’m not paying the bills around here and I should at least be civil in someone else’s home, blog, forum, and/or private property. Sure, I talk a big game about freedom, but I don’t understand the subtleties and responsibilities of freedom.

    For example, I’m still trying to grasp that unless I can contribute meaningfully to a conversation, I should STFU. I’m allowed to disagree, of course, which is the true essence of freedom of speech, but random comments that don’t advance a conversation or, hell, even PERTAIN to a conversation, (e.g. big fat whatevers and beating women) should be kept to myself.

    Until I learn to behave appropriately, please put my comments on moderation. Thank you and good day.

  6. Hey! Is there any real gamers addiction help in some of these comments or is it just a gripe session thread (Futon take it easy…you got some game time…get some life time and then we’ll talk)? As for me, I’m burning out on WoW at level 30 (it just takes too damn long)…I can’t imagine keeping up the pace just to get my online character to level 60 within a week (or 70 in the new BC add-on pack)! Seeing some of these threads really makes me see the pitfalls to this game. Some of these neglected people have full right to put us WoW gamers down (sorry if my addiction level doesn’t qualify me for that comment Futon, but oh well…you get the hint). Some of you obviously loved your WoW addicts otherwise you just wouldn’t have cared or been hurt by them. I’ve played for nearly 2-3 months now, I’m married, got six kids (got more reasons than most to hide from life). Anyway, I’ve played the game and got into a Guild or two…have some friends who’ve gotten to 60th level…the people you call addicts. I have to admit they really make the game fun with some of the crazy stuff they do and are very good at coming up with cool one liners in the chatbar. I really appreciate having their company when we have a good game to relax with. On the other hand my WoW addict friends and I both appreciate getting the hell out of the game long enought to have some real fun too. Most of them have thanked me for helping them to take a break from the game…I just don’t get that intense about it (jeeze, my first all-nighter game was just absolutely mindnumbing…I never want to be that tired again). I don’t think I could ever reach a point in life where I’m spending 40-60 hours in WoW, but I know some of you are living it. Well, for what it’s worth…WoW is awesome (maybe too awesome), and I intend to keep it on my shelf, I just wish it didn’t take forever to level your character (or to get that perfect “drop”). I’d love the game even more if I knew I could level within an hour instead of 6, but WoW is meant to make someone a lot of money. Hope some of you addicts who read this website please understand that I’ll be seeing some of you online, but just for a few hours on the weekend (or a weekday if I’m really bored). I’m not going to chain-smoke, and power-level any of my characters with you though. I just don’t need my level 60 within a week to realize that WoW is one of the greatest games around! I mean…So what if it takes you a year to level to 60…the game will be just as good, and you can have a pretty nice relationship with your friends and family too…right? Take time to enjoy the game the way it’s mean to be…make the magic of the game last a little longer by getting the rest of your life in too! I gotta log. CU L8TR…stoning-out to my Inn at my real house!

  7. The War and Peace you just read is from my husband of 15 years and father of our SIX children. I believe he briefly mentioned that. Jason started many years ago with a new computer and one game and promised to never ask for another game. He now has two big fat binders full of thousands of dollars worth of games. I am not happy that his “single friend ” that has no life has hooked my husband on this game.
    He sounds holier than tho in his blog and promised after writing it last night to only play on the weekend but here he was again tonight for hours on it “helping my son” that he hooked on the game. So much for promises. This game sucks life right out of our family. I work evenings while he “watches the kids” (plays WOW). I get home at 10pm and the kids are still up when they have school the next morning and he can’t disconnect himself from this darn game. He hates to disappoint his WOW buddies that need him so badly, what about his children that need him just as badly. I always considered the computer to be “the other woman”, even more so now.
    Is there anyway to set a password to log him on when I say is a good time? He lacks self control big time. I wouldn’t even be able to write this if I didn’t have a lap top because he is in fantasy land on the desktop as we speak. In my opinion his blog was written while he was in fantasy land.
    PS. My children are equally frustrated with Jasons game time.

  8. Christ, if you have problems with your significant others being addicted to anything you should either smack some sense into them or get them treatment. Coming to try to get someone to give you an e-hug online is just plain stupid. Maybe you should try TALKING to your husband/boyfriend/son/etc instead of just letting them play on it all day long? Maybe this is a sign that they do not want to do things with you? In any case, perhaps the final solution is just to leave their ass in the cold after deleting their account.

  9. My husband is addicted to WoW. The game is lame and now my 6 year old son is addicted too. Very scary. What is worse is that when I told hubby to stop playing for the emotional and intellectual sake of his son, he said no.
    My son has screaming biting tantrums, when I have to drag him away from a raid to go to bed.
    He can’t sit still for 2 min.s but can sit for 3 hours watching WoW.
    Uh, yes divorce is a real option now. Not because of WoW per se, but because it exposed hubby’s insensitivity and selfishness. He’s just an ass, I always knew it, WoW just confirmed it.

  10. Attention all of you WOW gamers who consider yourselves MEN, Boy do I have some news for you.. My name is Scotty and I have seen my sister and her kids treated like crap because her so called husband spends all of his time acting like some kind of elf warrior running around casting spells on other MORONS who are trying to do the same . If that is the definition of your so called Manhood then you can keep it… For all of you widows out there I am sorry that you are going through this and that you have to BABYsit your husbands just make sure your kids dont learn by the bad example of your “significant other.”

  11. My fiance got me ‘back into gaming’ long before we started playing MMORPGs together. I used to love tetris and various games on consoles when I was very young, played Descent II as a middle schooler, and been a nerd since forever. WoW was not the first addictive game we’ve played together, nor will it be the last. Sharing the same hobbies and activites has given us a lot of things to talk about while we play. We’re also a great duo team in a lot of games.

    That said, you really do have to just spend at least half an hour a day of quality time together with your significant other. Sometimes he feels neglected if I play too much and don’t talk to him enough (I usually level faster than him and make more in-game money), and other times I feel the same way when he plays a lot. Communication is the key here, and you just can’t muster a healthy relationship without talking to each other. We also run a guild together, and we have a good community of people that we both know, which helps quite a bit.

    There’s nothing wrong with how you feel though, especially if you just aren’t as into the game as he is. What I have found works nicely is when my fiance and I both get immersed in some activity of our own, for example I get into surfing or looking things up online, and he gets into his Rome/Medieval Total War game. Find an activity that you love, and get into it! 🙂

  12. Im glad to know im not alone. Ive been dating my boyfriend for 7 years- high school sweethearts. When we went away to college(me in michigan him in IL) he started playing more and more, but our relationship was fine cause when we had a chance ot see eachother we did and there was no WoW involved in our time together. Now we have recently moved in together, in what i hoped to be a furthering of our relationship, and it seems to be the opposite. He stopped wanting to spend time wiht him and now considers us being in the same room “quality time”. He plays about 8-12 hours a day. We have had talks about the amount of game playing but it doesnt seem to make an impact. We have tried setting ONE day a week in which he woudl spend with me but he gave up on that one week in. I feel like ive tried everything i could, i even told him i was willing to learn the game and he told me “no you wouldnt like it” and when i tried to tell him i would he prety much told me theres no way he will let me play with him.

    I feel like this is the end of our relationship, we spent at least 6 months having the same fight and conversation over and over and he doesnt want to compromise. Dont get me wrong i dont want him to give up the game whatsoever- i know its something special to him, but i want him to learn to balance his life. Im a full time, dedicated student and i work most the day. I just want some attention- a “hey” when he comes home and maybe a kiss- instead of jumping right on the game, a sign of interest in doing something wiht him, and no more unbroken promises. Hell i just wanna see a movie once in a while! He give up everyting for this game, and isnt fighthign for me. I dont want to loose him but i also dont want to stay in a relationship where im unwanted and unneeded.

    Any advice?

  13. Sara,

    In the time I’ve been reading http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/WOW_widow/ I’ve found that there is no hope for your situation. Break it off now before the potential pain grows any more. You’ve already lost him. It is extremely unlikely that he will change. Eventually Warcrack will end and he’ll move on to the next addictive game fantasy world where he can avoid having to interact in real life with somebody who loves him.

    You will _never_ be a priority, or even an afterthought, in his life. I know those are harsh words, but they’re not as harsh as the reality of being alone and committed to the person who leaves you lonely to play with “friends” that wouldn’t miss him when if he disappeared.

    Cut your losses, cut him loose, and cut out of the relationship.

  14. I find it funny that you all are complaining about a game taking over your spouse/significant other.

    That really says a lot about you.
    You’re so pathetic you come to a place like this and post.

    Hell I’m pathetic for reading it.

    Good Day


  15. to all of you that come here to bash on these women are truely pathetic. the only reason i can think of that men like this would even be looking on here is that their wife/SO is posting her feeling about them! If you are a gamer or supporter why don’t you go get on one of your gamer posts and nerd out with your other losers about your gaming and leave these women alone! Everyone has the right to express their feelings, especially when they feel that their lives/families are being pulled apart by a game!

    leave um alone!

  16. You go girls
    WOW is for scum who dont know how to live
    If your man is to much of a nerd not to please you set up a website asking for people who will.There will be plenty out there
    Or make a website of their profile name,pic etc and describe how much of a nerd they are.
    Just pull out of the relationship and find someone better

  17. There has got to be a virus we can all install in these computers that doesn’t allow the game to pop up. It will allow you to do everything else but use the wow servers and the game itself. Oh someone really needs to make one up.

  18. i met my ex-bf online. he couldn’t get enough of me and vice versa. then he moved in with me. within a couple of weeks it was like i didn’t exist. then he discovered WoW and that was the beginning of the end.

    looking back, i realise i had his attention because i was on the other end of a modem. my god, i was a character in an online game!

  19. I was together with my hubbie for seven years. While he loved video games, computer games were nothing that I truly had to worry about. When WoW came about in our household, I had just given birth to our first child, almost two-years ago. I had no desire to play a computer game, hence a new child, lol. I am not saying that our child did not come first, but I was last to nothing. Hell, I was excited if I got a “HI” or “Thank you” for dinner.
    He would call in sick to work so he could level, stay up all night playing into the morning, weekends were all about the “guild”, instances, and raiding, and sex was never a topic. After a few months of my hinting, I gave up. I shut my mouth praying that he would stop and see what was happening. Sigh…
    About a year into him playing, he gave me a trial account. I played it to have some type of connection because we were falling so fast. (Yes, I have a level 70 Druid, and another toon – level 42 Mage.)
    After some time with TBC out, he was obsessed with it more than ever. Nothing else mattered what so ever. I tried talking to him, tried to shock him with anger, and nothing worked. So, I filed for a divorce.
    Now, he wants to give up the game and change. 2 years… 2 years… how do you give that back to a person? Sadly, there were other things to add to this, but had WoW not been such an issue, I would have been able to move on.

    That is my story.

  20. It is saddening to realize that for some people, World of Warcraft “never gets boring”. I would challenge that claim, in any case. Ten hours of nonstop WoW may be fun, but I’ll bet that twenty hours nonstop won’t be twice as fun. The Law of Diminishing Returns applies to everything.

    I do not know if I can really call myself an addict, but I have been quite attached to my computer at times. (Not so much WoW, but those who are addicted to it might have simlar problems.) It took me a while to realize it, but the games I played seemed to follow the same pattern: I would have fun for the first hour or so playing a game, but somewhere in the second hour I would feel bored. And it took me a long time to even realize that I was bored. In any case, I learned to recognize that boredom as a cue to stop playing on the computer. A game is only worth the amount of fun a player gets out of it, and the longer one plays, the less one enjoys it. And in the end, World of Warcraft is only a game.

    The saddest thing about gaming addicts is when they continue playing the game long after it has lost its fun. Of all of the boyfriends and husbands who have chosen WoW over their girlfriends and wives (and vice-versa), I wonder how many still enjoy the game?

    I hope that, like me, they realize that spending day after day in front of a computer monitor playing the same game eventually loses its appeal, but maybe I’ve never truly been addicted.

  21. I am so happy to have found this!! I’m am so torn up right now. I am on the verge of ending a 3 year realtionship because of this damn game! I do’t nkow what I can do anymore!! I have tried everything! I tried playing it, but the game doesn’t keep my attention. I have also tried working with him to set up a schedule as to when to play, but if we are out doing something, we basically had to drop whatever we were doing to get home so he could play the game! I have even bought him the expansion and game cards, so I wasn’t completely against this game. BUT, now I am I have tried everything and I can no longer take it. He’ll go days without a shower, which grosses me out sooo bad. He’s given up days to see his daughter and family to play this game. Now, I understand at least he’s not out at the bar or cheating on me, but I shouldn’t feel like I come second in his life. I am so fed up with this game!! If anyone is online AIM me at XARSSwope86, I would love to chat. I am such a mess right now, I’m so upset!

  22. Wow, this is quite and epic thread you have here foton, how the hell did I miss this gem.

    It’s hard to know who’s side to pick in this one. Obviously the wives with children have a point. Once you become a dad your catass days are pretty much over, that is until your kids are old enough to farm primals for you, am i right?

    I guess the line I like the most is the people who talk about WoW as something that keeps their significant other from socializing. I play WoW with all my friends from home and my brother and I keep in touch with people that I otherwise would rarely ever speak to. I’ve made real friendships through the game and I know you retards can’t stand hearing that but it’s the truth. It might not be a kind of socializing that you’re comfortable with (probably because it doesn’t include you) but to pretend that the game isn’t inherently social is stupid, so please find another argument.

    I guess the people who I really feel bad for are the guys who got stuck in a relationship that they most certainly regret when all they want out of life is some purples and maybe a bong hit. Keep you chin up guys!

  23. God it’s good to know I’m not alone. I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years and I love him dearly. I understand how fun gaming can be I’m a gamer myself. However, I have a life outside WoW which he doesn’t anymore. I finally put my foot down and now we have one day where he must spend time with me or go out. He still won’t get a job because he’s too busy playing so that’s my next challenge. Can anyone help with this?

  24. i play on wow but when i got it i were on constently my girlfreind is pregnant and all i did was just carrid on playin wow as soon as i finished work i were streight on the pc till i went to bed and at weekends i were up at 5 am till 5am lol …. but i have realised that its just no good the games going no where so why should i worry about it.. now i hve a couple of days playing it and a couple of days spendin time with my girlfreind havin nighits in or out… it can be done ..its just that you see the game as a race to lvl 70.. but when you get to lvl 70 thats it.. so wots the big rush.

  25. yeah heres a great way to get him to go to work.. cancle the subscription on wow and tell him to get a job so he can pay for it himself that will get him off his arse

  26. Pingback: Thoughts from the Void

  27. i had a great friend….we both started playing world of warcraft around the same time and even did some quests together every once in a while….prior to the world of warcraft thing we would talk everyday and talk about actual meaningful things…after starting to play WoW her conversations mainly consisted of talking about world of warcraft stuff…i played it alot but i am not addicted….i mainly would get online and play WoW just to talk to my best friend…..she got to where she would never quest with me and i would literally spend hours and hours just waiting to hear from her…so i got a little jealous when she would spend all that time online questing with the same people everynight and hardly ever talking to me…the daytimes when we would normally talk were now silent….she was to busy playing that damn game… so basically i friendship ended over a computer game….she would get mad when i would ask why she wont speak to me while playing and said that i was “crazy” for wanting to know what i did wrong to make her stop talking to me…she is a wonderful person, she is beautiful, has 3 great kids, and had a really really loyal and devoted friend until WoW ruined everything….if i had 3 wishes the first would be for world peace , the second would be for all the wealth and happiness and health for my daughter and the third would be to end WoW and get my best friend back….

  28. i used to be a wow widow. i even made a spreadsheet to prove to my bf that he really did spend more time playing wow than anything else (including work, school, or sleep). i hated the game and i was mad at him for playing it.

    then i sat down and made a little baby rogue. if ya can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

    now there are times when he begs me to quit playing. too bad. he can do his own laundry, i’ve got a karazhan raid. muahaha. 😀

  29. I think this game is the biggest waste of time I have ever heard of! I spend days alone taking care of my baby daughter while my husband wastes his life away on the computer. All of the precious moments watching his little girl grow up are being lost to him forever. I am at my wit’s end! He is completely addicted to this game. I confront him and he tells me he plays so much because I don’t pay any attention to him. How can you pay attention to someone who is locked up in a computer room all day??? He never has to lift a finger in the house. I take care of everything. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. So now I guess all of this is my fault, according to him. I just want my husband back. One of these days, I’m going to take a hammer to this computer if he doesn’t stop neglecting his family over this game. Any suggestions on what I should do would be greatly appreciated.

  30. Hi all, I’ve just read all the posts and they are like evil whispers & memories of everything that has been said, done & seen over the last few years.
    My ex-husband and I are recently divorced, pretty much due to his addiction to the internet and more recently warcraft, and his addiction to cyberdating, after a twenty year relationship.
    Myself & the kids are heart broken but he’s ok as he has met several ‘ladies’ on line & his latest, Paula, from Holland, doesn’t work and flies over to see him (coming again today) so they can sit on their computers opposite each other, ‘playing’ together.
    We were still a couple at Christmas and new year, then he said she was a friend & just invited herself over, so I left him alone to break it to her that he had just been cyber-flirting only to find that they were having s*x behind my back, after she went home, he sent me a valentine’s card, told me he loved me & said sleeping with her may have been a mistake.
    He is screwing my head up!
    Now she’s coming again, he says she just invited herself again and he can’t be rude & say no, so me & the kids have to stay away for a fortnight this time.
    Yes, I’m stupid, very stupid, but you can’t say I haven’t tried, but this has broken a whole family.

    It was me who loved warcraft (the old ones) so he bought WOW for me as a pressie, then he got so addicted I could never get near it, now I hate it with a passion, the passion that used be be us

  31. and i thought my story was bad… i can’t believe men are choosing this thing over their families. did i say men? i meant boys.

  32. I sought out this site today because I’m thinking of divorcing my husband. Over the last two years my husband and I have tried to come up with a way to incorporate his gaming into our lives, but it isn’t working. It makes me sad because he has tried. We have set aside “family time” so that we can have dinner, talk, and play with our 2 year old, but he’s just miserable. During that time, he’s usually very quite and just sits there out of obligation.

    I don’t blame the game, I blame the addiction. I have seen him struggle with his love for the game and the love he has for his family. I really don’t think there’s anything more we can do, we even tried marriage counseling.

    This weekend I’m going to ask him to give up his gaming completely and if he can’t, then I have to leave.

  33. angie
    don’t let that guy walk all over you, sounds like he’s a repeat offender.
    you’re the only one who’s going to hurt in the long run, if you let him stick around.
    i don’t think you’re the one who deserves to be hurting.
    you’re going to do what you’re going to do, but i would really ask you to think twice about giving evil people like that the power to hurt you.

  34. Reading down through these posts have given me a different perspective. I play usually 2-3 hours a night and I try to do it when my girlfriend is out doing her own thing but it still gets in the way of quality time with her. So much of what everyone is saying is so familiar b/c I know I’m guilty of them. I think it’s time I tone down on WoW and let her know that she’s more important to me than my computer.

    As soon as I get to level 70 that is…


  35. hey, I just read every post, and I have to say that you WoW widows have my complete and utter sympathy and some of the ignorants posting on here deserve to be half drowned in icy water.

    my (now ex) bf got me into WoW xmas ’05, I was not and never had any desire to be a gamer before then. However I rapidly became extremely addicted. “Real life” took on a dreamlike quality and I was able to forget responsibilities with ease; there were solid months when I spent every living moment playing WoW. I started playing as soon as I got up and only took breaks for essentials (fortunately I included lectures in this), I even dreamt WoW, heard the music and sounds when I wasn’t playing.

    It took me six months to realise that my writer’s block was caused by WoW – that it had completely taken over my life, and another month before I quit… would have probly been a lot longer if my account hadn’t accidently got canceled. I’m not sure I would have realised I had a problem if I hadn’t wondered why I couldn’t write any more. That summer… I stayed with my bf for 3.5months and was completely neglected (not for WoW – he was never addicted, quit months before me) – I was literally begging like some kind of animal for a fraction of his attention, so I know exactly how you ladies (and gentlemen) feel. I started playing WoW again – from scratch, I’d sold everything and given my gold to a friend – because of the pain and loneliness from being neglected got too much by autumn, and I needed someplace to escape.

    I have it under control… most of the time. After reading everything I think I’ll quit; you can make some amazing online friends – the relationship you have with them is very different to real life friends partly because they can be incredibly diverse, people you would never ordinarily see. Or maybe it’s just because I find it easier to express myself in writing than by speaking. But before I became a gamer I used to never get bored. And I’m starting to find it difficult to amuse myself again.

    WoW is highly addictive… and it changes you. A little WoW probly often changes you for the better (I definately agree it’s better than most of the crap on tv), but it’s so easy to fall into too much and start losing yourself, to only feeling “you” while playing. And yeah of course, there’s always the feeling of “as soon as I’ve done this” and then you turn around and it’s been – how many hours? “Real life” just can’t compete with something where anything can be achieved if you try hard enough.

    Advice wise…

    if they’re blatently addicted and tell you that’s not true, they could quit anytime… I’d recommend you ask them to prove it. Ask them to go without WoW for a month: account must be cancelled and they can’t use someone else’s, they’re not allowed to check any WoW-related forums, they’re allowed to talk about it a couple of times each day (to guildies to keep upto date – let them do this or they’ll probly refuse altogether) and after that they have to pay a forfit of some kind. Let them feel the withdrawl symptoms. Don’t make it a punishment tho, offer love and support as rewards for admitting trouble. And if they can get through it – it took me about 3 weeks before I started feeling “clean” again, so maybe it’ll give them a headstart. At least if not they’ll know they have a problem. And don’t let them forget it. I could have quit WoW so much more easily if my ex had been a bit more firm with me.

    If they’re not willing to prove it or admit that they have a problem, even if you’re ready to leave, tbh I think there’s nothing you can do for them. As I mentioned, “real life” can get dreamlike which means that they don’t feel like they’re in a relationship any more (except when someone asks them to accept their responsibilities – and that’s like an annoying gnat buzzing in their ear) – and cybering with that gamer chick suddenly doesn’t feel like cheating >.

  36. Part 2… lol.

    Moms – if you don’t want to leave for the sake of your kids, you have to take into account that it’s not like they have a dad any more anyway. And he’s definately not setting a good example. Tbh I think WoW should be rated 18+ at least (it’s like drugs or alcohol after all), and I wish 21+ because then I’d have never started playing it.

    I think it’s unreasonable to ask someone to completely give up a hobby unless they’re unable to keep it to a reasonabe level. Like me.

    If they’re trying to quit… show them how great life is 🙂 Help them find at least one absorbing hobby to help them get through the cravings – I recommend novels… if they like WoW, they’ll probly like fantasy (great way to escape – but easy to “pause”).

  37. (sorry, forgot to copy this bit)

    There’s probly a ton more I could say, but it’s late and I’m tired. I just wish you all the best of luck with everything.

  38. I tried everything, even begging, the kids tried to get him to spend some time with us but he was completely obsessed. He would get up at stupid o’clock in the morning to play, go back to bed when we got up (on the sofa in the living room, closer to the computer) then wake up at lunch time then go straight back to Warcraft, play solidly and be drunk by about 8o’clock, then get really nasty ’cause things weren’t going right, so we had to keep out of his way. I swear if I hadn’t fed him (at the computer) he would have starved to death. He’s still got that ‘lady’ here, she’s almost ten years older than him and I know he’s not really that ‘into’ her as he keeps coming round and cuddling me and telling me how much he misses me & loves me. It breaks my heart that this game has so taken him over that he has lost his family. I did stop all the washing, ironing, stopped being the only one cleaning ect and the house just got into a tip, then he would say, the house is a mess, and I’d think good god, we both work full time & you spend every waking moment on warcraft, in the end the house got into such a mess, I couldn’t do it alone & was glad to see the back of it when I left him.

    I’m trying to have as little contact with him as I can Eric, it’s almost like weening myself off of drugs, he was my best friend for twenty years, until he got the computer we spent all of our spare time together, rang each other at work several times a day and right up until recently were still texting & emailing each other just to say how much we love one another.

    All the old things he used to enjoy, he hates now, Warcraft’s the only thing in his life and I know he’s hurting just as much as us.

    I do wish I hadn’t had to divorce him and get me and the kids away but they do have a better life now, more structured & less stress, although we all still miss him

    Oh and yes, he is a repeat offender, I told him saturday that I wasn’t going to cry for him anymore, when he was telling me how much he missed me and he said, no, I’m not worth it

  39. What’s interesting is how much this one topic transcends many others in the category “Relationship”. For example ID comments: “..and cybering with that gamer chick suddenly doesn’t feel like cheating”.

    This begs the question, “at what point is it cheating?” Is chatting online with someone cheating, if yes,when does it become cheating? If your significant other is looking at porn, or flirting with the girl at the grocery market, restaurant or a random gamer man/woman online, should this be a problem?

    If you trust your significant other, shouldn’t it not matter if they flirt with another person in any situation? When is flirting bad? Should you even be so invovled in your significant other’s life that you know when and what type of flirting is going on? If they want to be someone online that they aren’t in real life, why is that such a bad thing so long as they don’t blur the edges? Much human behavior research has indicated that it’s healthy to keep flirting even when you’re in a relationship. It gives you confidence, and keeps you sharp in your skills of interaction with the opposite sex. That being said, there comes a point when turning a blind eye and being naive to all this can leave you harmed….to trust or not trust and when one might wonder?

    Jealousy has been defined as a vigilance in guarding something, so one could put the spin on some of these entries that the complainer might have pre-existing issues with confidence in self or the relationship. If you’re guarding something, it means you think there’s a risk it might leave or get taken away. Why is that feeling there? What does the other person in the relationship say or do to make you feel like you’re fighting against a game for love/attention?

    I would be lying if I said I sometimes didn’t wonder was bein’ said between the guildies during chat, but likely, it’s innocent and if my partner leaves me for someone online there’s nothing I can do to prevent that. I don’t feel threatened at this point by WoW but I can definitley identify with those who do and whose lives it has played a significant part in hurting.

    Reading this board has been really informative and eye opening.

  40. I would say that cheating is when you cross the line between flirting and start telling people you love them. My ex-husband started ‘chatting’ to a girl of fifteen, when I started to dig, the stuff they were saying was more than x-rated and definately illegal, it moved on to phone calls, then they were ‘in love’ although they had never met, then they met!!!!!

    I don’t want my love to be telling other women he loves them.

    The new ‘old lady’ has been cybering with him for over a year, he said they were just friends, but once again, when I saw what he was saying, it was well across the LINE, now like I said she’s here and they are having real s*x, after only having really known each other for a couple of days.

    He said it wasn’t planned and it just happened…..s*x doesn’t just happen, he had to have consciously crossed the line between flirting and starting a relationship, which he shouldn’t have done, and he knew was wrong because if he hadn’t known it was wrong, he wouldn’t have felt the need to hide it, lie & cheat.

    I f we had problems he should have addressed them with me instead of using the internet to trawl for desperate sad school girls and bl**dy pensioners!

  41. By the way ladies…I am an avid gamer, I have a well-paying job, and an MBA. I am an ex college athlete and not at all the “Nerd” type. I started playing WoW as a hobby and enjoyed tremendously. I only played 1-3 hours a day when I first started. I still had time for my daughter, work, and my wife. For whatever reason, my wife and I have grown apart. WoW is a way for me to stay inside the house and not go out and cheat on her or get into trouble, because to tell you the truth…sex is not what it used to be. yea yea yea you are gonna say I am not as good either but after 7 years with the same person who doesnt touch you, kiss you or get freaky the way they used to, I’d much rather play WoW than fake loving her. So, my point is if your significant other would rather play WoW than have sex with you, maybe you need to stimulate your significant other in a way that detracts them from the game. I have tried to communicate with my wife that I need stimulation in my life to keep me motivated. That stimulation can be sex, actually talking to me with something important to say, family activities, freaky sex, or WoW, (did I mention freaky sex?). take your pick ladies…if your man is a gamer try role-playing and getting freaky with him. I bet my WoW account that if you do more than just lay there in bed during sex, he would hit it so good your head would spin. he would PWN you in so many ways you’d think he “respecced”. try it, you both might enjoy it…

  42. Been there, tried it, even over the damn computer, shuvved my boobs in his face, wandered round naked, the lot. He was just always too tired & too drunk to finish anything, takes much less energy to talk about s*x than to do it. I do wonder if they call each other by their game names in bed, she’s so much older than him, maybe he still doesn’t have to make too much physical effort, lord and lady o.a.p.s.

    Neither of them need their bodies, just a couple of monitors back to back and their right hands, be just like when she’s not there.

  43. Hmmm, shove your boobs in my face and see what happens…lol. Feel free to call me Zaolin all you want!!! lol

  44. I must admit he did look up and say ‘you’ve got a magnificent pair of breasts, I love them’, then went back to playing :0(

    I googled Zaolin and came up with a couple of chinese MPs and a deck hand from an RPG about Argonauts!!! ???????? D’oh, just call me thick lol

Comments are closed.