Yahoo! Groups : WoW Widows — Not entirely unexpected, World of Warcraft has an internet support group for those abandoned and neglected by their Warcraft-playing loved ones. Unless you have a similar issue at home, you should only read and reflect. You don’t go to the circus, jump into the center ring and start doing tricks with the lions, fcs.
Thanks for your concerns for the WOW community, But i know many couples that enjoy the game together. It might be time for you to try something that your husband or boyfirend likes, instead of forcing them to watch a mindless chick flix with you.
why would someone want to spend your quality time playing a mindless, stupid fantasy game. I mean come on now 2 or 3 hours that is fine but when your whole waking time that you are not working and you are sitting in front of a computer while your life is slipping by you that is just down right stupid
Oh my god, i’m so glad Warcraft Widows exists!
i thought i was the only one! my (now ex) boyfriend is an uber nerd, wow addict. i remember ages ago he told me one of his friends’ gilrfriends broke up with him because this guy played wow too much, and i was like pft, as if you’d split up over that. now i see her point… in response to “Vic”, i actually DID play wow myself (my character was a Night Elf called Akida, i got up to level 10) so fuck you, i didn’t want to force my boyfriend to watch chick flicks with me, i actually wanted him to TALK TO ME, or go out with our friends, or interact with HUMANS. i tried the game to please him, and i actually did find it fun, but not THAT fun. the end came after we hadn’t had sex for a week, and he chose to GO TO A WOW PARTY, INSTEAD OF HAVING SEX WITH ME.
World of Warcraft is made by saaaaaaad little men who haven’t seen daylight in years, who use the game to play out their fantasies (which i decided after i saw a Wow “pet”, an s&m sort of character in skimpy leatherwear who whipped herself and said “ooh!” when she was bored….go on, masturbate over that you fucking nerd).
So now we are just another couple broken up by wow. We still go to parties and stuff together, but i swear there isn’t one party or social situation where he doesn’t bring up wow. He doesn’t realise it actually alienates people; if someone doesn’t know wow, they can’t be included in the conversation…and no, not everyone wants to “learn” about wow – JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!
We try to tell him that he is really sad being so into the game, but he argues that playing wow IS interacting with humans, you are still playing with people all across the world….NO. travelling overseas is meeting people all over the world; interacting with humans means getting off your arse where you’ve been sitting for the last 10 hours, leaving your stuffy little room, going outside and TALKING TO SOMEONE IN THE FLESH! It’s what fucking normal people do!!
That’s a good story Mieka. Too much of anything is a bad thing, even cowbell.
Was going to ask if this was your ex, but sounds like your ex hasn’t even done an “I’m burned out” hiatus from WoW yet.
WoW stands for “With-out Women”. I only know a few chicks that can get into the game hardcore and those women are rare. The more crap you give your boyfriend about him playing WoW the more WoW he will play. Why ??
Because WoW offers a way out of the real world, you have status, respect, money, negative physical attributes are no longer an issue, the list goes on. If your boyfriend/girlfriend plays too much WoW it is because some other shit is going down. Job sucks, they are unhappy in the relationship, life whatever. You do not fix this by yelling and swearing at him/her. You have to schedule activities and constantly remind them of the time and place, since they will probably forget and start an instance or quest if you do not do this. Eventually the game will lose its appeal. The amount of time varies and if you really care about them you will deal with a few months of no attention being paid to you.
I played WoW religiously for like 4 to 5 months straight and burned myself right the hell out. I have 2 50 characters and the thought of WoW is somewhat sickening. You will eventually get your nerd back, you just gotta make sure you dont let them play another MMORPG :). Boyfriend and girlfriend type crap, those relationships end, DO NOT let this game ruin your marriage. If you give up on your significant other over a video game you are worse than they are. You show lack of commitment and truly prove that there were other problems between you two other than the game.
Mieka that is really sad that he didn’t want to have sex with you and chose to go to a WoW party. Thats somewhat amuzing actually, you will find someone better eventually. Or maybe you gave up too quick. Just remember men and women think differently… very differently !!!!
Thank the lord I’m not the only one who is suffing with this crap. WOW is the biggest waste of time. I don’t think its funny when my husband has those dumb characters say stupid jokes or dance or any other crap like that. Talk about time suck. Nothing productive comes out of it. Who wakes up early on the weekend to play all day and all night long and doesn’t even remember ENTIRE CONVERSATIONS we had while he was playing!! For the love. Nerd doesn’t even begin to describe it these WOW people.
And VIC, its one thing to take interest in something your boyfriend or husband does but if I have to pretend to enjoy the 1000th conversation about how excited he was when something dropped or how much gold he sold it for I think I’ll slit my throat and aim the blood in his direction. Its bad enough I have to listen to the damn game all day, its another to have to listen to him talk about it every waking second he’s actually NOT playing.
I have been with my bf for two years and we have been talking about engagement but I am having second thoughts because I don’t want to spend my marriage second in line to a video game. He talks to his guild more than he talks to me. I sit in bed naked begging him to give me attention so I don’t feel like an object that he just got bored with and found something better to entertain him. I do not mind if he plays, it is how much he plays that bothers me. Hours upon hours of talking to random ppl that he doesn’t even know. I’m afriad that if I did go through with it, he would neglect me and our children and I would be stuck in a marriage where I would be all alone with no support from my husband in any emotional or physical way. It hurts so bad to think of leaving him because I love him so much and I want to try so hard but at the same time I am really worried about my happiness and what I want out of life and marriage.
Jeezus, are you women for real?
Translation: wah wah wah, my man treats me like a blow up doll, wah wah wah, should I make babies with him and drag innocent children through this mess of a relationship, wah wah wah, I’m the victim here, wah wah wah, things are gonna change I can feel it, wah wah wah, savin’ all the food stamps and burnin’ down the trailer park.
Loser.
“If you give up on your significant other over a video game you are worse than they are. You show lack of commitment and truly prove that there were other problems between you two other than the game.”
So by that statement if a wife has waited 18 months for her husband to get off a computer game to spend time with her and their children and finally decides to get herself a life instead of watching the back of his head then SHE is worse than him?
Didn’t he give up on them the moment he walked in the door after work and logged on straight away, telling his family “later, Ive got a raid on” night after night and for all the weekend?
Why should these women have an extra child to wait on when they actually promised to love and cherish another ADULT?
Maybe you should read some of these “widows” stories before making statements like that. And as we say “we don’t make them stay with us, they are quite welcome to leave, but if you choose to be with us, then be WITH us” and we don’t mean 24/7, but having spent a week talking to the man at the shop more than your husband sucks.
And a lot of these men have lost their jobs from taking too many days off to play WOW and their wives actually support them.
“Didn’t he give up on them the moment he walked in the door after work and logged on straight away, telling his family ‘later, Ive got a raid on’ย night after night and for all the weekend?”
Amen, sister.
Oh..and Foton? Thanks for the cute story about how you had a girl over and couldn’t even get it up because you had already wanked off twice that day!
Loser.
To be fair, it was probably more than twice. -Foton
Personally when I got it it reminded me of my old Live Role Playing days, when we made armour and weapons, made up stories, beat each other around a bit, become heroes or died then went down the pub after.
The social aspect really surprised me on WOW, from not wanting to talk with anyone and just do my own thing i found a gentle spread of associates, real close freinds i could talk to about my real problems, and even met a couple of nice girls on there, one of whom im now leaving my wow widow for!
its very surreal, not for the way everyone can hide their physical self, but how you can spot what people are really like inside from the way they play, (I was very very good at spotting geniune girls for a start, and of course the teenage boys are a bit easier to discern, ) but i think when someone puts a mask on thats when they fool themselves that they a re covered and reveal their true inner self in their words and behaviour even if they might think they are taking on the role of the mask, :O)
Good luck widows, heres hoping he’s not flirting with his future wife on there!
x
And if he does then they deserve each other.
Would be SUCH a good relationship based on cheating and lies and she KNOWS that she can trust him not to do that again. She is special.
And just think of all the lovely communicating online they could do….that will certainly built a solid relationship…..but if they are both addicts, who is going to clean the house, pay the bills etc…..and God forbid they actually may have children that one of them will need to get off the computer for to look after.
But again…their relationship is special…he didn’t cheat and lie and she didn’t chase another womans husband. So their foundation is strong ๐
i am married to a gamer and it is not pretty. He expects me to raise his child not mine and still be oh so happy. So if anybody has any constructive ideas on how to help, i would be grateful.
This is a public service announcement: Down with WoW, a forum community for those affected by World of Warcraft addictions.
GaH!.. i am so fed up with warcrack. my boyfriend has a new character that HE NAMED AFTER ME. as if that is somehow going to appease me. now he spends more time with his digital me than he does with the actual me. Like i really want to see a character that he warped into looking as much like me as possible walk around in a leather thong and have pointless battles with orcs. does anyone know of a bug u can plant in warcrack so they cant play it any more?
This isnt such a big deal. First off if a man wants to spend more time with a level 47 Gnome Warlock that with you have you thought that maybe theres somthing wrong with you?
I have no compassion to you “WoW Widows”, have you tried playing the game (getting to level 10 is step 1, try level 60)? We have to put up with alot for you but have never told you how many things bother us (and dont forget you become pychotic once a month).
Despite what we tell you wed much rather be trying to kill CThun than at the theater watching some romance movie (but if you want to see the Warcraft movie when it comes out im sure alot of us will go).
Im sure youre all about to say I havnt read your posts, well I did before posting this, and I still have absolutely no sympathy for you. As for Mieka’s post, thats sad, but like I said earlier, could the problem be with you? Is that the reason he would rather raid Orgrimmar (or Stormwind if hes part of the Horde) than be with you?
As you can all tell by now I myself play this game (Im only level 16 but I read and talk about when not playing), this is good interaction, maybe all of you should play too and meet some of our friends, join our guilds, even go to WSG with us (WarSong Gulch for those of you who know nothing about the game).
Theres alot of stuff for couples to do, such as:
-Go to the faire
-Take an orphan to the places hes dreamed of seeing on Childrens Week
-Hunt for eggs during Noblegarden (Easter)
-Buy chocolates on Valentines Day
-Give wrapped gifts for the holidays or birthdays
-Have a party complete with fireworks
You can even join a guild and complete the ultimate goal (so far) of killing CThun. Try it, if you dont like it…well we probably wont quit for you so move on with life thats the hard truth)
Lvl 40 night elf here.
so yeah have played. Like action flicks better than romance and we are talking about playing 40-60 hours a week on top of work etc. They are even damaging their own health and affecting their jobs. This is not a discussion about casual gamers but hard-core addicts.
ps. wait until you experience halloween and Christmas ๐
And if they want to play and not be with us, then why beg us to stay? why don’t they leave and live in WOW nirvana?
Oh, and guess what?
I actually enjoy doing things in RL with my s/o *wink wink* that can not be experienced quite as well in a game. ๐
I love that every post arguing in favor of obsessive gaming behavior villanizes women as needy tyrants who force their faultless significant others to watch “chick flicks” and makes the fate of the relationship rest on the woman’s shoulders. Number one, women don’t only watch “romance movies”, and even more surprising…some MEN enjoy watching “chick flicks”. Number two, it’s NOT about the fact that they play world of warcraft. It’s the HOURS that are spent doing it and the consequences and effects that it has on the relationship. Perhaps some need a refresher on what exactly a relationship is……
relationship: n 1: a relation between people; (`relationship’ is often used where `relation’ would serve, as in `the relationship between inflation and unemployment’, but the preferred usage of `relationship’ is for human relations or states of relatedness); “the relationship between mothers and their children” [syn: human relationship] 2: a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection); “he didn’t want his wife to know of the relationship” 3: a state involving mutual dealings between people or parties or countries 4: state of relatedness or connection by blood or marriage or adoption [syn: kinship, family relationship]
Now, having gotten that out of the way, take note of a few choice words: “mutual dealings” “relation between” “connection”…. It shouldn’t take Webster to point out that you can’t have a “connection” or “relation” with only one party involved. For the mentally challenged, that’s like trying to plug a cord into a wall with no outlet. Nothing happens. It takes TWO people to have a relationship. While it’s healthy to have other interests, it’s NOT healthy to have the relationship itself be the secondary interest. If a relationship is going to work, both parties have to give it 100%. It’s unrealistic (not to mention unfair) for one party to expect the other to pick up their slack so they can play a video game. While each party needs to be understanding, there’s a difference between compromise and taking advantage of someone else. I can understand wanting to spend an hour or a day to yourself–I do that with a book, going for a walk, etc. But holing yourself away for 10 hours a day and only interacting with your significant other out of necessity (you know, “what’s for dinner?”) is unhealthy and abnormal. No matter what rationalization you have, whether it is that you “enjoy the game” and are “just having fun”, it has surpassed being a pastime. Instead of focusing on only pleasing themselves, they should look at how their decisions affect the people around them. How can you be angry at the woman you ‘love’ย for reacting to the way she’s treated? No one likes to be an accessory in someone else’s life. Furthermore, what will you have to show for all of the time dumped into this game? These are not just hours of your life; they add up to years spent doing nothing. Do you really think that when you’re 50 you’re still going to be bragging about that epic you picked up — or are you going to be regretting that you didn’t do more with your life, and wishing you had appreciated everything that you took for granted.
As for the widows of warcraft, it’s a difficult situation to be in. There is no easy way to fix everything — you can’t take the game away, or break their computer, that only makes your significant other resent you (and spend more money fixing the game/computer). You’ve tried hinting, you’ve tried outright talking, you’ve resorted to writing post-it notes on their monitor and still nothing — So how do you get through? You have to draw the line. If losing you is more acceptable to them than losing a day or two of the game, you’re better off without them. After all, unless you’re as equally obsessed about the game, you’re never going to be satisfied with being their second choice. We don’t enter relationships just for sex and companionship — it’s about being the best person you can be and realizing your potential. If you’ve tried and tried to make things work, it’s time for you to find someone who not only appreciates you, but inspires you on every level.
Sorry boys, but I really don’t see a level 60 mage being enough to get me through a shitty day at work, help me survive the hell-week of final exams, or ever being capable of coming close to the comfort one gets from a really good hug.
48 Human Warrior here.
Been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. Seriously considering marriage…Warcraft doesn’t get in the way of that. If you’re significant other is playing the game rather than spending time with you, that doesn’t show them being a loser…it shows you as being less significant than the game, which means you need to reevaluate yourself rather than complain about them playing too much. Think about it. If you were the picture perfect girlfriend you believe you are, wouldn’t he like spending more time with you? Time for a reality check, kids.
Yes Jason,
And I have even suggested that we break up many a time. He refuses too and saves he loves me blah blah blah.
*says
Foton – So you know these women are ‘for real’ and aren’t being unreasonably selfish and whiny. If they were being unreasonably selfish, they wouldn’t be posting here, because they would have left their gaming guys a long time ago and never looked back. WoW is an addiction, and it does cause it’s addicts to give their significant others less than they deserve. I had been with my girlfriend (now fiancรยฉ) for over 3 years, when I started playing, and she is the most loving, supportive, generous female I have ever known. By the time I quit, she was crying regularly (never when I was around), seeing a counselor, and ready to break up with me, not for revenge, but just because she knew she couldn’t take a relationship with someone that addicted for the rest of her life, and she wasn’t willing to bring children into the world, and have her and them be ignored every night while I raided. I would tell her I was going to be to her house at a certain time in the evening, and when I was about an hour late, I would call her, and tell her I was “almost done” (which I honestly believed to be true) and then I wouldn’t show up till about 6 hours later. I would be late for work every morning during the week, but I would roll out of bed earlier than I was supposed to get up for work, and hop directly on the computer. By the time she would get home from work, 10 or 11 hours later, I would STILL be in my PJ’s, on the computer, surrounded by a few dirty food containers from whatever I had managed to snarf from the kitchen when I got up on a restroom break. Now you may say that I am just a “jerk” for treating her that way, but the truth is that both before and after the time when I played, she was a VERY happy woman. In fact, I would go so far as to say she is somewhat “spoiled” because honestly, she gets basically whatever she wants.
Jason – You are way off base in suggesting that it is the women’s fault they are being ignored. My fiancรยฉ is
– beautiful, (momentoimages.com, select wedding. Her and I are the two in non-wedding attire in galleries I and II.)
– successful (She bought her own house at the ripe old age of 21, and makes significantly more than I do, and I am making a very respectable income)
– and fun.
She was all of these things before I started playing, and remains all of these things after I quit. She was patient, loved me, tried to let me do my own thing, tried to do anything else that I would do that wasn’t WoW, but in the end, it wasn’t her fault. It was my own addiction. Maybe you do fine at balancing your life, and you aren’t addicted to WoW. (And the fact that you only have a 48 warrior tends to prove this guess correct, unless you only VERY recently began playing) Great! More power to you. I wish there were more like you. Unfortunately for too many people, most people who play MMO’s can’t avoid getting sucked in.
My WoW cred, for any people who feel the need to take issue with things I said:
– 60 rogue in closed beta
– 60 priest in the resident uber-guild on my server. Mostly full epics, would have had all epics if I had stayed longer. Was part of the server-first Nef kill in BWL. Cleared all of MC, BWL, and Ony in one long session on two separate occasions.
I quit because it was the only way to salvage my career, my relationship to the person who matters the most to me in the whole world, and ultimately, my life and happiness. I still miss it greatly, to be honest, and would love to play again, but I know I can’t. I am just glad I didn’t lose her before I quit.
I can only mimic what was said just above. Some people just cannot play these games and get sucked in… I would venture to say most. Hell, I quit WoW about 10 months ago or so, and I STILL troll these boards and others, sort of reflecting. BUT… I am getting married this coming Friday. I tell my friends the quickest way to a divorce is a MMOG, and I am only half kidding. I know the woman I am marrying is far too important to me than anything that is flashy and shiny. My game playing is now specific to single player related games, or the occasional 360 multiplayer. Life is way too short to be spent sitting in front of a computer, unless you are getting paid for it.
(retired)
lvl 60 pally
lvl 45 rogue
lvl 53 warrior
(retired)
EQ1 and EQ2.
Pingback: vagueBoy
You know what works for me? I wouldn’t say I am addicted, but I probably would be… if i played at home. We have a strict no MMOG playing at home policy, so if i wanna get my WOW fix, I need to go to a net cafe or something.
just a thought.
i highly agree about the time issues of playing WoW too much. yes its fine to have interests and past times. i started playing to be more active in his interests. yes i was sucked in, i have 60 mage, 60 priest failry decked out, and a 50 druid unfortunatly. i’ve been trying to balance time from work and him for the past year and half. but all it has come up too is more time on Wow. yes, friends and socializing circles has greatly dropped for the both of us. on my days off i play housewife quite well, i make dinners, get all “dressed up” for some interaction, and believe it or not, he takes his dinner plate, and sits at his computer. i find it very difficult to be on either side. but every gamer needs to take a break at some point regardless for 10min to permanantly.
Yes WoW Widows exist and their ranting is getting louder!
Check out my webcomic. If you resemble the main character… IT REALLY IS TIME TO QUIT!! (duck)
Widow’s Revenge comic strip at http://www.gamingsucks.com
The name was picked out for all you WOW addicts. You know you really have hit rock bottom when your about to lose your home because you spouse would rather put more time into the game than to get another job to make ends meet. You’d rather see your spouse and 2 children homeless all in the name of the game. Hope it is all worth it. Is it just a game? No, not at this point. Now it is reality. YOUR harsh reality. Once your spouse has left you to live in a different state, you are unable to see your kids and now you have to work 80 hours a week to pay child support and support yourself you finally see the light. Your spouse moves on surely not make the same mistake twice, the kids get a new and improved parent and THERE YOU ARE ALONE PLAYING,……..WOW.
After all said and done, I guess your whole life is just one big virtual reality game. What they hell are you going to do when the game stops and reality begins!
This thread is pure brilliant foton.
Anywho, addicition to MMOG’s is like any other addiction, a mental state, disease if you will that a person needs help getting out of. Doesn;t matter about the gender of the player.
Either you stick by those you love and help them out, or walk away.
Hey Ladies….
I believe that if your with a wow addict, than call a stone a stone….Get yourself’s to a Nar-ANON or Al-Anon meeting. They can help you learn how to deal with addicts and being with an addict. I work in the addiction field and by all means Game playing is an addiction. You are not just with someone whom is a Gamer…you are in fact by definition with an ADDICT. Don’t let your loved one pull you into a life of feeling unloved and unwanted, take care of yourself first. Addict thinking does not allow for anything more than selfishness and self-centeredness. Without help addicts will never be anything to anyone. So please for the good of the life you have and the short time that you have it for, get some support that can get you through this.
With Care
WOW addict #4,000,982
foton… with as much as you dismiss these peoples pain, I would like to know how your relationships are. when was the last time you spoke to a family member other than to ask them to get you a drink? Do you even have a relationship with a woman?
STFU and fix me a drink.
(I know I’ll be in trouble for that one.)
I hear their pain. It’s a bitch, I can see that. But they are only as helpless as they allow themselves to be. I am sorry they discovered a character flaw in their loved ones after they fell in love, but I don’t feel sorry for them when they CHOOSE to stay. (Ya, I know it’s not easy to walk when you have children, that’s what attorneys are for.)
How much clearer can I make it? If you are better off without your WoW Addict than with him (or her), GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP. They have nothing to offer you.
As an aside, if your WoW Addict is willing to forsake you for pixels, he (or she) is not that into you. Why would you wanna be with someone that’s not into you? Fuck that, leave your shit behind and WALK OUT.
Since you brought me into this convo, I, myself, have walked out, leaving my shit behind, many times. I had to involve attorneys two times. (Not divorces, other “issues”) I know of which I speak.
In the EQ days, my play time was much, much higher. Back then, I was just out of school and couldn’t afford much in the way of entertainment while I was building my post-college career. Now, as I’ve said, I can afford better and my play time is lower.
It’s worth noting that Warcraft requires much less time to be at the top of your game than EQ did. (Obviously, for some players, the time requirement is still too high.) I hope the next gen of MMOGs has even more to offer for casual players — game design itself also has some responsibility here, in my opinion.
Meh, game play is like anything — moderation is the way to go.
p.s. @ Unbeliever — that this post and its comments will be my legacy is an irony not lost on me. This could only get better if I opened an expensive game addiction treatment clinic.
Hi everyone
My name is Karolina and I work at a UK based television company ITV.
We’re currently making an edition of news and current affairs programme Tonight with Trevor McDonald regarding the affects of playing MMORPG’s.
We’re currently looking for programme contributors who have been affected aversely by MMORPG’s.
Are you married to a gamer and describe yourself as a gaming widow? Are you the parent of a gamer? Are you an ex-gamer?
If you are happy to share your story you could help other people in the same situation realise they are not alone.
In the first instance please email me on
karolina.mottram@itv.com
Thanks for reading and hope to hear from you soon.
This thread delivers.
p.s. Eight months today, still tempted as ever to go say hi to my dwarf priest.
31 year-old player of WoW and pseudomother/girlfriend of a Tier III gulild leader account sharing pain-in-the-butt Night Elf Rogue 60.
I sympathize with the WoW widows and assure them that at least in the state of California; gaming is an acceptable excuse for divorice and cybersex does count offically as cheating.
My mates account was hacked a few days back and his precious was stripped of all his fancy gear and then deleted. I was upset for him; but at the same time I was also saying to him this;
“Honey maybe we can..you know..take a break from WoW..go outside..exercise..go swimming..its summer out there you know?”
Results of his constant gaming?
1. Fungal infection on the inside of his thighs from sitting too much.
2.Pinoidal Cyst on his tailbone from sitting all the time (image a huge swollen boil of unhealing necrotic flesh that has to be drained daily)
3.An online God Complex that has resulted in him being banned twice from two computer gaming systems.
4.Him spending our phone/cable money on more video games and 1000 credit bill at the local tech shoppe.
Girls..girls..get out while you still can. These guys are not good daddy material. Give em ten more years and watch what happens when their young man metabolisms kick off.
My wife is a World of Warcrack-ho, she used to be an EverCrack ho. We have a convenient point system, when my wife wants me to watch the children so she can raid, she needs to bank some nookie points in advance. It is a great system. I even upgraded her computer last month, an awesome investment for a husband, like having a sex vending machine in the living room! We do work to keep things balanced, which includes having a real life that exceeds her on-line fantasy life. That meant joining a BDSM dungeon where we can play villian and victim in front of other freaks. Nothing like a good flogging in front of your friends, sometimes they even join to double top. My point is that you can work to keep both real life and WoW life exciting, talk to each other, be supportive of your partner’s fantasies, but don’t be a doormat — hold out for regular payback. (p.s. she plays on Stormrage)
My boyfriend is addicted to WoW. He comes home and plays until he goes to bed, even eating at the computer. On the weekends, he gets up, flips on the coffee maker, and then flips on the computer to play until he goes to the bed. Both of us work full-time, but I might as well say I work two full-time jobs because I cook, clean, and take care of everything around the house.
I used to game, including WoW. I don’t care too much for WoW, as it is a time sink and I think there’s more to life than WoW. I have nothing against gaming, but when the person does nothing but game and neglects everything else, something is wrong. He insists I hate WoW because it’s something he loves; I’ve always supported and encouraged his gaming habit, but when he freaks when we go to a 90-minute movie or a BBQ at a friends’ house for a few hours because he won’t be able to game until later…what’s a girl to do?
From what I’m told, I’m attractive and have a great sense of humor. I am educated and give my man all that he needs—including bringing home the beer and being happy he hangs out with the guys, but he doesn’t even do that anymore.
Any advice?
This is so great – to find out that me and three of my friends are not alone in this wow widow world. I have been laughing out loud reading the debate here, because all the stories are so familiar to me. I see my husband and myself in these stories – and I have been sending them to him hoping that he will realise that he has a problem.
I feel for so many of you that have commented. When I met my BF, he was NOT a “gamer” or so he claimed. When he said he heard about this WoW game, got a free trial and was going to try it out, I had no idea that it would consume him that way it did. He kept saying that he was NOT a gamer and not to worry. Well, that has changed in a big way. My BF and I live far apart so I thought if it kept him busy and away from mindless web surfing/nude female photo sites (haha!) well, maybe I could deal with it.
In the beginning, I tried getting involved with him in WoW to show an active interest and support in something we could do together, but I was quickly left in the dust. I felt he wanted to do it alone, so I gave up trying.
He is obsessed and in denial about his WoW addiction. He tries to convince me that spending 12 hours on days off and 5 hrs on the days that he works is very normal. I am told that if we lived together things would be different (I am too smart for that) and he would not be on the game all of the time. I am told that his “groups” on WoW are just friends that have innocently progressed from screen IM contacts to real time chats that of coarse- only discuss the quests they embark on as a group. This is now a requirement to play, ya know. Yeah, right.
What really gets me is how he makes light of the fantasy land that WoW is known for. Like those WoW pets; the ones that Mieka so appropriately described, “Wow ‘pet’ย, an s&m sort of character in skimpy leatherwear who whipped herself and said ‘ooh!’ย when she was bored … go on, masturbate over that you fucking nerd.” I hear them when I call my BF and he refers to them as “Very sexy creatures” and then goes on to describe why he thinks they are sexy. Ewww! That comment has always made me wonder about him. Pixels are now hotter than real human flesh apparently.
If I bring up any of this, he thinks I am trying to start a fight and will not talk about it. He is defensive about the game, the time he spends on it and his role in it. He rarely talks about this game that clearly takes up more of his time than I ever have.
Finally, I have had it with our phone calls.
1. I am lucky to get to talk to him free of the game, if at all
2. Talk time is limited because of the game (I have to listen to fighting in the background the entire time)
3. He stays up very late on work nights on this game and then is too tired at work and is grumpy to me on the phone the next day.
4. He is seemingly becoming more uninvolved in my life every day. I can’t even keep him on the phone long enough to tell him about a job offer that would ultimately effect us for a long time. I used to be able to bounce things off of him, at any time … b4 the game.
Guys always say they wish that their girlfriend/wife would have told him their was a problem before they left. Listen up guys…this game thing can be a real problem. It sucks the life out of your relationships-period. Don’t get mad at your girlfriend if she has a concern about that game or any game for that matter that consumes half of your life but rather ~ take notes. It could be a clear warning that it is the beginning of the end.
Happy Gaming
This is interesting reading, even though it is very old.
My husband works for Blizzard and helped design WoW and before you go blasting my head off, we lead a very normal life and have a great marriage, game and all.
It really is about the person playing, not the game itself. I dated someone who I left because HE did not leave the game for love or sex or time with me, whereas my husband, who WORKS there, actually does.
Everyone is too quick to blame the game when it is the player’s fault. And I’d rather have my husband on the PC where I know what he is up to rather than out at a bar doing lord knows what.
I actually agree with Foton 100% and yes I am married and know what a real relationship is.
Very well said Hilly. I tend to liken my guy and his love for WoW to stereotype gamers but you are right, it is about the guy, not about the game.
Im a a Warcraft Widow. I tryed to play it but i does not excite me enough for me to play for more than an hour at a time. My Boyfriend of 4 years who used to play every night for at least 5 hours have come to an arrangement. Just like with my sport – hockey, I practice twice a week and place one game a weekend. I have told him that it’s only fair he does the same. This compromise came about about after an argument about him being lazy and sitting on the PC all day – I told him that WOW is not a sport and his charcter running to ironforge does not count as exercise. He then turned against me and told me that Due to WOW having a set of rules it’s qualifies as a sport.
So i then suggested – if he thinks its a sport thats fine. but he can practice twice and play once. and thats it otherwise he will burn out. HE had no comeback to that one! Try it Girls.
My fiancee just left me a couple weeks ago for a guy she met on WoW.
We were having problems in our relationship and i got a new job in another state so i suggested I go out a little before her so i could get settled and think about the relationship.
Apparently during this time is when she got fully addicted.
The 2 of them have met twice now that I know of.
I’m doing my best to get over the relationship.
She keeps lying to me, telling me she’s still unsure of what she’s doing.
She still hasn’t even told me the guy was from WoW, she made up some other story- but it’s pretty obvious that that is where they met, she plays a good 10 hours a day. She wouldn’t play with me when I tried to join the game.
As much as I know she’s not worth it this break up is tearing me apart. Our relationship was on rocky ground but I really wanted to work at it. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, my house is uncomfortable to be in. I’ve been trying not to let my rage out over this situation- as my rage can get pretty bad. I think I’m going to have to let myself get angry in order to get on with my life.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. We are both in college, but he goes to a college that is 8 hours away from mine. It sucks, but we talk on the phone every night, so it keeps the relationship alive. This is our first summer home together and almost every night, he plays WoW. He just made it to level 60 and I tried to be happy for him… but what I did not realize is that once you reach level 60, the game becomes more addicting. It seems like every time i call him at night hoping to spend some quality time talking..he says that I called him right in the middle of a raid or he’s really busy with the game right now. It’s frustrating! I can’t be angry with him because he doesn’t play THAT much and it is not destroying our relationship… but what I HATE about the game is that it NEVER ENDS!! you cannot even pause the game when you are in a raid to spend some time talking to your s/o. When I tell him that i am jealous of the game and that i wished that he did other things than be on the computer, like hang out with friends, he just says that he IS hanging out with them and talking to them. UGH! we always fight about this game. I wish that there was a Final goal to reach and then it would be over. IT JUST NEVER ENDS.
I have to make a public apology to my BF. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I over dramatized our situation. Part of me is worried about how much time he is gaming and how the game provides a mental escape like any other addiction can. However, we have talked, his head is in the right place and I trust him completely. I am confident that he would never let WoW ruin our relationship. It truely is about the person and not about the game.
Wow (no, that was not a reference to the life-sucking game that apparently we all are affected by, but my actual reaction) I typed in “girlfriend support group world of warcraft” into google kind of as a joke because I was a little upset that my boyfriend choses to play W.O.W instead of talk to me. But after reading your stories I was instantly humbled. My heart goes out to all of you because if I was upset over him just not calling me back I can’t imagine how I would handle being completely passed over night after night. Were your significant others always like that and you just tried to accept it as part of him? Or did it just get slowly worse?
It definitely got worse as time went on.
Me going away for a month (during the move) made it go from a bad situation to an incurable one.
Hate wasting so much time having to deal with the physical side effects of finding out that someone I used to live with was so detached from reality that she couldn’t be honest with me or herself & couldn’t distinguish the real world from the fantasy game.
Lots of feelings of betrayal there- might be a while before I can trust someone, tho I’m pretty sure she’s just insane.
What made it worse was the way she left too: she berated me repeatedly in the months leading up to her final week or 2, when the beratement and criticism reached an alltime high (guess she had to convince herself she was justified).
She let me go on thinking for weeks that I really had a chance to get her back and that she was only “figuring her life out” at a relative’s house, when in reality she stayed with him a week before moving in with her uncle- pretty close to where the other guy lives.
Hopefully karma will come back on her. I’m so ready to move on. ๐ I don’t mind a video game or two now and then, especially playing as a couple, but to play to the exclusion of the relationship is a serious breakdown of communication.
Look ladies, every guy or girl knows what they’re getting into with this game (it was rated 9.5/10 in the first place). I’m strangely on the other end of the equation here. I choose to play because my girlfriends just not around enough, she makes it harder for me by paying less attention, it’s a trick that works well, even I feel she has a heart of stone sometimes.
I’m not suggesting you go playing mind games (we’re not that blind) but I do suggest you elevate yourselves a bit from blaming anything for the fact your fella or girl has a good taste in games & in most cases (suggesting all cases are less-social geek types) finds it a way of expressing themselves socially where they can be the socialite they see in the movies (let’s face it, who is).
Back to the real reason i posted, rose you’re not that smart (as you put it) as i’d change if my girl asked me to move in with her, i see you’ve responded now to your earlier comment but it only adds that if you trust someone, you do just that.. so he’ll change, trust him? I’m sorry to say this but it’s these little ticks that grind us (pardon the pun), if you already think low of someone in not believing there claims and making them feel bad (yep, it happens) how do expect any respect other than a middle finger in the form of ignoring you (WoW time).. bottom line, don’t treat a man like a kid or he’ll fit the role perfectly!
Unfortunately I’m a game addict & choose not to present stats as I could read them off the net anywhere and blag this (cue boasting pj man ‘Steve’, reminds me of the chewleaves gum guy on clerks) besides my daily brain age sessions’ about to begin and I’ve given up on this pointless excuse to pass time while the servers are down ๐
mike- that’s probly coz she’s cheating on you. take it from someone who knows. ๐
BTW- My situation was made worse by the fact that my ex was working 12 hour night shifts 3 nights a week at a hospital. Our schedules were completely different, which really didn’t let us spend a whole lot of time together anyway.