Monthly Archives: April 2005

Told Ya Shaman Were the Devil

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This story is growing exponentially around the Warcraft world, almost by the hour: Shaman buffing the hell out of their agility and strength with bugged grace of air totems, achieving 100% crit and dodge rates plus the added bonus of downing elite mobs without breaking a sweat and dinging through levels faster than a new GM character.

Now that’s a premium service I’d subscribe to, and I’d be the first in line.

I’ve read a few descriptions on the exact methodology to achieve the bugged stats, but as I’m not a shaman nor do I play one in real life, I can’t test it or confirm that it’s repeatable, etc, but if true, if it can be triggered intentionally … oh my my my. The screenshots are awe inspiring: crit, crit, crit, crit, crit, au revoir, elite mob!

Oh, that one of my game characters would get bugged some day! Most days, I’d settle for a reasonable drop rate on those cursed collection quests, but to be a 100% crit machine would be a thing of beauty.

Read: Boomsha’s forum thread.

“Exploit early, exploit often” thread. That’s a good policy, btw. (I kid! I kid!)

Plus, pretty much any other thread on main page of General boards with “shaman” in the title.

Look: Gnomecrusher kicking ass.

Tusk, a critting machine.

Here’s Your Pound of Flesh, Can We Play Now?

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On Saturday, I had plans with one of the guildmates to whack out a few quests that didn’t require a babysitting level 60. You heard me! We were going to force the alts to play it straight … mano a mano, just us and the mobs, working the highwire without a net.

Unfortunately, my Saturday morning real life errands ran late, so I was running behind by about an hour or so. *cough*twohours*cough* Interpreted loosely, I was delayed by community service … y’know, giving back to society … and no, it didn’t involve my local tavern.

Anyhow, I arrived back home, logged into Warcraft, didn’t see the guildmate online, so I left a message on the guild message boards announcing my triumphant return and asking if he was still around and wanted to do those quests we had discussed. About an hour after that, he checked the boards and started laying into me for being tardy.

He was right. I was late. But in my own defense, I’m rarely late. If I’m not online when I’ve agreed to meet someone, I’ve had a real life delay and no, I don’t mean my local tavern.

I took his crap for a while — the messages flew back and forth: me apologizing, him chastizing. After about a dozen posts each and another half hour WASTED, I asked him point blank, was he going to continue to demand a pound of flesh or did he want to play? FFS, the balls, they be busted.

He logged in after taking a few more shots on the boards, and after taking some more shots in /guild chat actually arrived at the quest area.

The next time he plans on bitching like that, I hope he puts on heels and a little black dress to make it more immersive for me. Wouldn’t hurt to lock me out of my own house and leave psychotic voicemails on my cell, too.

I want my gaming to be REAL, man.