One of us is born every minute. (and two to take us!)
I had tried out Guild Wars a few months ago, at their first Beta event. Damn, maybe that was almost a year ago. (It was almost a year ago, I just looked it up. The blog never lies.)
We, meaning the guildmates we, discovered one of the best guild pranks EVER within the first few minutes. For the cheap seats, almost everything is instanced in GW. To do quests or travel in the countryside even, you portal into an instance, and can later portal back into a common or public area.
If you’re grouped with someone, they portal with you and, from our subsequent experiments, it looks like the group portals with you from wherever they are. Well, you can see the beauty here.
Guy’s talking to his trainer in town, groupmember portals out into Lakeshire, errr LakeSIDE in GW, the group is zapped over into the instance. The ultimate in gaming narcissism.
Well, *I* didn’t need to talk to anyone in town. *I* needed to talk to the guy in Lakeshire, err Lakeside. Whatever the fuck.
Now here’s something that is ANNOYING beyond belief: players have to organize and choose their spell sets before leaving town. Limited to 8 slots. (No joke.) What in the fuck, we’re back in EverQuest now? Pre-UI customization EQ? (that’s several years ago for the EQless among us.)
We’ve been farting around in this game for a couple of hours now, and even the guys that got online early today have almost no clue how to work this game. Examples:
Do you have to have that rezz doodad equipped in town for the instance or if not, your partner is shit out of luck if he dies? answer from guild: I dunno.
How in the HELL did I get second prof as a necromancer? guildanswer: I dunno.
How in the HELL do I get rid of necro as 2nd prof? guildanswer: I dunno.
How in the fuck do I identify items? guildanswer: I dunno and what’s identify?
How do we make a guild? guildanswer: I dunno and that’s the least of our worries, goddamit!
Is there an EQ default keybind set? guildanswer: I dunno.
Is it just me or are these maps and the radar worthless? guildanswer: I dunno, but not just you.
How do I get back to town? guildanswer: INSTAPORT, click the town on map!
Ok, that we know. We have thrown off the shackles of virtual travel and are loving every minute of it!
Good thing I have low expectations because I can safely say … this is the most counter-intuitive game since … since AO. Not good. In fact, unless my memory has completely failed me, AO had an edge in intuitive over Guild Wars.
Maybe more to follow as I attempt to accomplish something (anything!?). It’s entirely possible that I could arrive at max level in this game and STILL have no idea what I’m doing.
UPDATE01: Where do you get more backpacks ffs? guildanswer: I dunno. (You see what I mean?)
Are there even vendors in this game? guildanswer: fuck if I know.
I think I’m healing the mobs, is that possible or a lag thing? guildanswer: I dunno.
Hey, that “unidentified” shit is blue, does that mean uncommon or something? guildanswer: I dunno.
Ok, any chance we can trick someone to join us and answer all these questions before this game OWNS US instead of US OWNING IT? guildanswer: (I think you get the idea by now.)
Most … counter-intuitive … game … ever.
UPDATE02: By my timer, it has taken approximately two hours to add our first Guild Wars player to The List. You remember the list. The List of players you wouldn’t piss on if their heart was on fire? Ya, that List.
One of the guildies dared comment on how FUCKED the player pathing is in this game. i.e. you will follow the assigned path, no jumping, no falling, no straying from the designated path in any way (hail, counter-intuitive!), and ListAddition01 called him an IGN noob.
Now what the fuck is that? Bnet noob, I’ve heard. Noob, with no other designation, of course. IGN? Are they breeding noobs over there? I hadn’t heard.
At any rate, a brotha calls for an addition to The List, consider that *censored word that not even AFK Gamer will use* added.
This is the way of the gaming world. Vigilante-ism at its finest.
FINAL UPDATE (for the night because Foton has to work tomorrow): We figured out the identifying objects deal. Only took FOUR HOURS OF PLAY, because the damn ID kits cost 100 gold and, while money is not tight in this game like others (*cough*WoW*cough* … *cough*DAoC*cough*), if you’re running around like an IDIOT with no idea what to do, it takes some time.
Anyhow, to prove that I can evolve and learn, you buy these ID kits from vendors, it’s 100 gold for 25 charge kit, and you ID the blue item, get a random level-appropriate enhancement to the item. Lot of trouble for a bunch of nothing, IMO.
And when I say “level-appropriate”, I do not mean good. I mean it’s noob level, so expect it to suck.
Anyhoo, we’re all about level 5 or 5.5 after a few hours play. We still have NO IDEA what we are doing (no joke, we are just randomly leveling and randomly clicking our skills/spells … for no apparent reason, ding!).
Think about that. One quarter of the way through max level and we don’t know how we got here. That’s good and yet disturbing. Unsettling, even. Could it be we’re not as good as we think we are?
Nah, that’s crazy talk!
FINALFINAL UPDATE: I’m a noob ’round these parts. But what does this mean when it’s spammed every 30 seconds?
Does it mean “server going down, go get your fresh hotfix”? Does it mean “hey, if you care, there’s a new patch available”? Or does it mean “for the love of God, we got your box price, get the hell out, we have some prep work to do”?
I didn’t care, I was about to call it for the night anyhow. Just struck me as odd.
I got my level 5 ding! (somehow) Can virtual world domination be far behind? I think not!