A Near-Life Experience

My latest collection of crazy! madcap! moments in the World of Warcraft.

Some of the quest NPCs in Azeroth are dark and disturbed.

I know this because Tyler knows this.

Congratulations. You’re one step closer to hitting bottom.


This NPC was COMPLETELY out of line.

Asshole NPC

Be a cold day in Hell before I run around acting like his houseboy.


Is it just me?

Sling Blade

Or is that a sly reference to Sling Blade, starring everyone’s favorite slack-jawed yokel, Billy Bob Thornton?


This is Eric of Uldaman.


Don’t the quotes around The Swift suggest that Eric isn’t too swift? I know if someone at my office referred to me as *Foton’sRealName* “The Swift”, and did little air quotes for The Swift, I’d be tempted to pop him one in the mouth. Plus that whole air quotes thing bugs the shit out of me. Way overused.


Speaking of biting sarcasm:

The Arch Druid

The Arch Druid of Darnassus has been riding my ass for over 20 levels. Cheap bastard, too — his quest rewards SUCK ASS, especially considering all the travel to get to his little winky dink treehouse.


And speaking of druids … Few of the guildmates joined in a 50-man Tarren Mill PvP raid. (ya, lame, but we were bored out of our skulls.) This idiot druid kept running off and getting owned by a huge dogpile of Death Guards and screaming for heals. Ya, right. Foton doesn’t heal druids, especially druids that run ahead two miles to pump their honor points.

I <3 druids.  Really.

After about 15 minutes of PvP — which was really just … run into Tarren Mill, kill a few low-level horde, race back out with 10 Death Guards on ass, scream all the way for HEALS — the ADD raid voted to move the 50 Alliance to the Crossroads. No shit.

Foton doesn’t do Crossroads.


I learn something new every day in Warcraft. (click for larger size.)

moss agate emergency

I used to think the only possible emergency in a game was “about to lose corpse and all equipment if someone didn’t help with corpse retrieval” … I know better now.


This was the funniest guy in General chat, that I’ve seen, for quite a while. (click for larger size.)

Touch My Cat

I just don’t want to hear when he starts touching his monkey.

1 thought on “A Near-Life Experience

  1. Eric The Swift, as well as the other two NPCs in Uldaman, are from Blizzard’s SNES game, The Lost Vikings.

    Just saying.

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