May You Get a Chronic Case of Scabies

Unless you’re new around here, (and by “here” I mean online gaming), you probably know that Furor works for Blizzard as a quest dude. Let me state at the top that, for the most part, the quests in Warcraft are incredibly well done. Engaging stories, witty even, interesting to solve if you’d rather not thottbot, and best of all, they put out with worthwhile rewards — sometimes the uber.

Quests in Warcrack are as well done as the crafting system in Star Wars: Galaxies.

If you’re new, Furor was one of the few EQ player celebrities — by that I mean, he was vocal (as in shrill) and highly-opinionated (as in psychotic). The only other EQ celebrities I can think of now are Thott (even you noobs know him), Zato (the, or one of the, founders of The Safehouse) and maybe the guildleader of the uber guild on my EQ server, who was reknowned mostly because he was such a dick-sucking asshole.

Obviously, we had all heard about some of the other uber guilds, too, but weren’t really aware of who their leaders were, probably because they weren’t … (how to say?) … interesting specimens like Furor and Thott.

Thott, appearing to be the more even-tempered of the two (read: not a raving lunatic), wrote several very articulate and eloquent articles about various issues in EQ. In fact, one of my e-thug friends is convinced that one of Thott’s bard articles is solely responsible for the ass-reaming nerfs that EQ monks received late in the game and he will not, under any circumstances, use Thottbot in Warcrack. (issues!) But I digress.

When the news broke about Der Furor joining Blizzard, my reaction was: what. the. fuck. I doubt anyone’s reaction was other than: what. the. fuck. But, having a short attention span and a long memory, I moved on and didn’t pay it much mind until Warcrack was released.

As I said, the quests are stellar. Except sometimes, those collection quests, they be stingy. Or, the mystery rewards, the dreaded “?” as the reward, they’re bullshit. The escort quests sometimes bug out and only part of the group gets credit, so we have to escort the fucking NPC yet again for those that got screwed.

As one of our guildmates said, “this quest makes baby Jesus cry.”

Every group needs a scapegoat. The scapegoat performs a very important function — he/she takes the heat for bad pulls, for bugged quests, for lagging servers and for empty mobs. Furor has become our scapegoat.

The idea came to me one night during a particularly grueling collection quest when I was a bit sauced off my ass. Hours after starting, we’re sitting at 4 items out of 10 (or so) required with no end in sight and everyone has to get some sleep soon.

So I said, “this is all Furor’s fault.” As we’re all old EQ hags, the rest picked up the chant, and we made it our own. Now, whenever a quest starts pissing us off, we issue a curse in Furor’s direction. We’ve since expanded this to include stupid instances (ahem, Zul’Fucker), the wigged out Auction House, roaming boss mobs, and thieving loot tables.

In my rational mind, I realize that Furor can’t possibly be responsible for all of this.

Hell, I don’t know how duties are split up at gaming houses, all I know is: somehow, Furor’s to blame.

3 thoughts on “May You Get a Chronic Case of Scabies

  1. I know the feeling well. There’s the Deep Ocean, Vast Sea quest north of Auberdine that has you diving into a boat to extract 2 items for some dwarf in town.

    Only, you have to do it while getting swarmed by tons of level 14 – 16 Murlocs. The Murlocs have stun, hit rapidly, have lightning shield, and heal themselves. And unless you’re a Warlock or have a Waterbreathing potion, you’re having to cope with all that while also worrying about drowning.

    A more obnoxious combination of quest obsticals would be hard to come up with. The quest is rated level 17, but I’ve seen duo’s of level 23 go in there to get chewed up and spit back out like so much fish food.

    Talking to a friend of mine that worked on WoW, I griped about that quest in particular. He told me that the designer that had made that quest was notorious within the company for making awful quests and that he had been let go before the end of the project.

    I’ve mentioned this to all my friends that have likewise found that quest excessively annoying. So of course, now whenever our group encounters an unrewarding, difficult, or obnoxious quest, someone inevitably conjectures that this quest was also designed by the one responsible for Deep Ocean, Vast Sea.

    By my count, that would make the guy solely responsible for about one tenth the game content.


  2. heh. I’ve never leveled in the dark night elf area, but I hear ya, bro. I’m willing to blame Furor for that quest also.

    I’m sure your story will spawn legions of tales about the “quests designed by the psycho fired dude.”

  3. This one time at quest camp….

    Seriously though. I have had pretty good luck so far with the quests I have done…The key to Deep Ocean, Vast Sea is to find some other group of chumps doing the quest and follow them through. They’ll clear the bulk of the mobs and then you swoop in and grab what ya gotta grab!

    Now my question has to do with some of the other logistics. Like I did the quest where you have to kill Otto and Lord Falconbreas…err Falconcrest. Otto is his body guard but Otto is 2 levels under him and is FAR easier to kill. Why does Otto still have this job? I mean if I am going to hire a bodyguard I want one who is tougher then me. That would be like hiring a bunch of scrawny people to protect the president….heyyyy, I might be on to something there! But I digress!

    It just seems some quests defy logic. DAMN YOU FUROR!

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