If I could have three wishes in World of Warcraft, they would be:

1. Why in the hell are there only 3 auction houses (Ironforge, Orgrimmar, and Gadgetzan)? This is like Little House on the Prairie where I make a Trip to Town once a week to stock up on supplies and visit with the townsfolk. “May I say, Merchant Smith, your daughter is blossoming into one helluva woman” *drifts off into overpixelated fantasies*

We have the technology to have email in every town, village and outpost, but can’t extend that to the auction houses? Maybe the gnomes that built the Deep Tunnel tram can recommend some technology gnomes to expand the auction houses. I’ll even pitch in 5 gold for the cause … and Merchant Smith’s daughter.

2. Increased run speeds for all. I’ll admit, I hated that begging for run buffs in EQ, but I hated default run speed far more … so much so that I wouldn’t move one step towards the scheduled raid zone until someone would hook me up with the good stuff: The big one. The bard speed.

In Warcraft, increased speed is even more valuable because the stupid mobs can daze my ass every two seconds. Is it really necessary that I enjoy the scenery one pixel at a time? Can’t I enjoy the forest rather than the trees? I don’t want to stop and smell the mageroyal; I want to finish this quest while I’m young.

And no, I’m not going to the Auction House, forty zones over, to see if there’s some run potions for sale.

3. More customization of the user interface available in game. Why Blizzard designed a default UI similar to a classic mid-90s interface is puzzling to me: the hotkeys, group member buffs and effects, chat channels, moving windows around (or rather NOT). Did they lift the code from the original EQ interface to use in Warcraft, because it’s that rigid and unintuitive.

Maybe a disgruntled employee designed it, I don’t know. At any rate, it sucks ass and no amount of custom key binding can salvage that bitch.

Yes, I know there are customized Warcraft UIs available for download, which I would use if I enjoyed dozens of script errors and if I wanted to see 45,209,300 pieces of information on my screen.

I have renewed hope for a UI solution, however, now that I see on Warcraft’s page that a UI Customization Tool is available … for advanced users (i.e. not me). Quoting (because … WoW has a permalink “issue”):

The World of Warcraft User Interface Customization tool allows users to tweak and customize the game’s user interface. We welcome our advanced users to download this free tool and explore the possibilities.

Can a geekly solution to my UI woes be in the not-so-distant future? Based on what I know about geeks and their work habits, I’d wager my third wish will be granted sometime next week.

I’ll even wager Merchant Smith’s daughter on it.