Communication Breakdown

Miss me? I know, I know, but I’m swamped with post-holiday ACTUAL PAID WORK this week, plus, I’m still addressing (i.e. scratching my forehead while furrowing my brow) the overheating issues with my gaming computer.

I think the heat thing is solved — it damn well better be or I know a computer nerd who’s gonna get sand kicked into his face — the ACTUAL PAID WORK thing will take some time, however.

To reward you for checking up on me and asking after my health (I’m fine, thanks!), I’ll relate a quick anecdote from Lord of the Rings Online last week.

I’m in this PUG (the dreaded Pick Up Group) to kill this elite boss in Garth Agarwen — Ivar. In the group is a level 39 hunter. I think he was a hunter, he didn’t really do anything as I recall. Anyways, as soon as he joined, he’s all full of advice cuz he knows it all.

One thing he didn’t know was how to get to Garth Agarwen on his own. So I showed him how to arrive safely at the zone-in, using one of those kinda exploit-y shortcuts. After zoning in, TWENTY minutes after everyone else arrived, he started up with his unsolicited advice again. Oh how I hated him.

He never set traps for huge trash pulls, never helped out the minstrels (the LOTRO main healers), never used assist to DPS the mob everyone else was focusing on. Three things he did do all the time, however: 1. He’d hit the crowd-controlled mobs much to our lore-master’s chagrin, 2. He’d run ahead into the next room and train the resting group with his aggro shit and 3. He knew what the rest of us were doing wrong.

So we were close to Ivar’s room and someone had a few hints and tips for the encounter — naturally, the hunter knew better, even though, I will remind you, HE HAD NEVER BEEN THERE BEFORE. We finished the last trash clear before Ivar, the minstrels were recovering power (that’s mana in LOTRO), etc. and hunter-tool runs into Ivar’s room and starts the encounter. So much for the last-minute strategy talk.

We wiped, of course. We run back and the group is yelling at the hunter for running in early. He denies it. Also, we don’t know what we’re doing. And we should shut up.

Ok, that’s when I’d had enough of his bullshit. Which is what I said. “I’ve had about enough of your bullshit and I’ll pay real money for you to shut up.”

He turned his character around to face me, with his back to Ivar’s room and asked me what the hell was my problem. I was about to say, “you’re my problem” but before I could, the idiot accidentally backs into Ivar’s room and starts the encounter again. Heh, he tried to run back out before Ivar would notice, but Ivar’s no fool — /begin encounter.

Graveyard visit #2.

I asked him if he was going to deny starting the encounter that time too. All he said was, “cya fuckface” and then he left.

Since he chose the singular “fuckface” rather than the plural “fuckfaces”, I assumed he meant me. Which I don’t have a problem with.

What I do have a problem with, what concerns me, is the “cya” part.

Why in the world would he think I’d want to see him again?

Black Horses are Nazgul-Only

Experiencing technical difficulties as of late — long story, made short and expletive-free: new graphics card is throwing off enough heat to contribute to global warming so my main machine is shelved until I can solve that. But good news! It’s a holiday weekend and I can use my holiday to deal with nerd issues. Computers continue to enrich my life in so many ways.

And kids, just because your computer is as hot as the sun, don’t use your graphics card to light a cigar for your friends’ amusement, because I’m pretty sure that would void your warranty. Here’s what I say: they can’t prove a cigar was anywhere near that card.

Anyways, I did pull a few screenshots off my demon machine to accompany a short guide to purchasing your very own horse in Lord of the Rings Online for 4 gold, 220 silver. (And what kind of a crazy world is Middle Earth, by the way, where 100 copper = 1 silver, but 1,000 silver = 1 gold??)

Sefarre has written a handy walk-through: How to buy a horse, including where to get the horse-riding quest and how to not fail in an embarassing manner in front of the 100 players at the horse farm.

Additionally, here’s the available colors, in both sizes — horses for the big boys and girls; ponies for the vertically challenged (dwarves and hobbitses):

Horse and Pony Colors 1

Horse and Pony Colors 2

(Clicky and All Sizes for larger versions)

Saddle and bridle are standard equipment. Reins, taxes, license, title fees, and insurance extra.

Ezra and his Flame-Throwing Crossbow

Touching story in The Orange County Register (please don’t call it The OC) yesterday, Blizzard makes WoW wish virtual reality, about 10 year-old Ezra Chatterton, aka Ephoenix level 70 tauren hunter. Ezra has a cancerous brain tumor, and with the help of the Make-A-Wish Foundation, he spent an entire day at Blizzard Entertainment headquarters designing a quest, NPCs and a crossbow to his liking and specifications.

WoW players should keep an eye out for Chatterton’s creations: the rare, flame-shooting crossbow, a quest from a graying Tauren named Ahab Wheathoof and his frenzied dog, Kyle. Blizzard will add Ezra’s changes to the game in the next four weeks.

Best wish ever.