Category Archives: World of Warcraft Journal

Come! Come! Turtle these mangy Frostwolf dogs!

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Vanndar's Turtle Tactics

A screenshot from a recent (could be any) Alterac Valley, and like always, the Alliance General Vanndar Stormpike calls for a turtle. What a moron.

(For those who are WoW-free, a turtled PVP battleground is 100% defense — either forced or voluntary.)

Here’s some amusing guildnames I’ve collected over the past few months from our PVP battlegrounds. Thanks to these guilds for providing entertainment as we rode into the valley of death.

<Whip Cream Bikini>
<Hanging with my gnomies>
<Lambda Lambda Lambda>
<Queue Me Up Buttercup>
<Not Enough Minerals>
<Clan Redundancy Clan>
<Reagent Vendor>
<Gank You Very Much>
<OMG Who Talked to Domo>
<We Wipe on Trash>
<Nightmare Bunny Rabbits>
<Hanz Wheres My Guild Bank>
<Vicious Space Bees>
<Not Worth Inspecting>
<Diablo is better>
<My GF is letting me play>
<Do My Laundry>
<House of Pwncakes>

mmmm, pwncakes.

NOTE: If you want to add your own nominations in the comments, either use no enclosures on the guildname, or, use the hex codes for less than and greater than symbols. You probably think, “why don’t you just tell us those codes, Foton?” Believe me, I would, but I can’t figure out how to do it without resorting to & l t ; and & g t ; except no spaces, and by the time you’re done with all that nonsense, you’ll wish you hadn’t bothered.

Only in My Guild

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So on the weekend, I’m in a World of Warcraft guild group leveling up alts to cover some holes in our raiding roster. One of our sloppier raiders logged on and told the guild he was having a GREAT day!

Thought me: please don’t ask .. please don’t ask .. please don’t ask. But of course someone did.

The Gun vs Knife fight

Although I detected the strong odor of bullshit (as you do), I congratulated him on the best guildchat story I’d heard in more than a year. No small feat that.

The Whatever that Happened to that One Girl

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When last we left HunterSister, she and that one man-whore paladin in my guild were dating. (Here’s when last we left HunterSister) Well, they were dating — and you know when I say “dating” that’s just a code word for screwing and posting sappy, gaussian-blurred photos on our guild site — and then ALLEGEDLY she was whacked and game-stalking him and we laughed because goddamn, everyone saw that coming.

So I guess that didn’t work out (shocking), and our man-whore paladin moved on to other female gamers, eventually landing on (pun!) a female paladin in our guild.

Now, this gal was an interesting character. Friendly, outgoing, and a reasonably skilled player (that’s code for “kinda sucked, but not enough to get kicked”). After about a week of guild membership, she’s comfortable enough with us to reveal more of her personality, which is somewhat clever sexual innuendos and occasional bawdiness. Who doesn’t love bawdy? I love bawdy, I’ll bet you do too.

Un-for-tun-ate-ly, one of the consequences of a female gamer working bawdy humor is unwanted attention. I saw a few things in /guildchat that gave me pause, and I wondered if it bothered her, but she would carry on like there was no harm. Cool, because I hate policing the guild.

Then, late winter 2007, we had this huge guild meeting in Ventrilo. Planned agenda: the future, namely raiding, recruiting, downsizing (that was my agenda item because goddamn, we were just TOO BIG for a max 25-man raid scheme), and restructuring of guild leadership. Actual agenda: airing of grievances.

One of those grievances, which took up AN HOUR OF DISCUSSION TIME, was that bawdy paladin girl didn’t appreciate the similarly bawdy (my opinion) comments made in return. Summarized: she didn’t like the inappropriate comments made to her and the guild dudes often stepped over the (invisible) line when talking to her. And of course, the gentlemen officership expressed GREAT ALARM and rushed to comfort her while scolding the rest of us. Truly, most of us knew exactly who she was probably talking about — the suspects had tried to initiate outrageous conversations with other guild women in the past, however, when rebuffed, the suspects had ceased and never bothered those women again.

Isn’t that ok? It is in my opinion. Someone says something that someone else doesn’t want to talk about, the someone else says stop, and the offensive someone stops. Another crisis averted!

So, I asked her, who are we talking about, and did you ask them to stop? And, of course, as is the way of modern times, she doesn’t want to say who it is, and yes she did ask him/them to stop and he/they didn’t. Christ. I really hate that. Some dude(s) is sexually harassing her or borderline harassing and she won’t say who. How are we supposed to deal with that? Here’s how we did deal with that: Hey guys, don’t sexually harass anyone. Kthx!

Talk about an edict with no teeth. (I mean, duh?)

She seemed satisfied and the meeting crawled forward.

Few weeks after that, there’s this new level 65-ish druid in the guild and I asked the officers why in the hell were we recruiting new people when we’re already obese with members, and further, why in the hell were we inviting low levels?? Oh, that’s the bawdy paladin’s real life husband.

!!!

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