The Dead EQ Scrolls

I was straightening out my home office this week and I unearthed a pile of my old MMOG notebooks. What’s that? You don’t know what a MMOG notebook is?

OMG, noob.

There’s a lot of information in online gaming that I’ve had to sift through and, in the old days, we didn’t have your fancy shmancy quest logs and your hoity toity User Interface Quest Cheat Sheets and all that nonsense. We played MMOGs like manly men and took notes.

Yes, you can feel free to make fun of me at this point. My god, I needed therapy and no one noticed this?!?!?!

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Snapple Bottle Hack: Use as Urinal

Before Warcraft shut the doors, I was grinding quests and experience one night with some guildmates before PvP time. PvP time usually began, from my limited observations, when night elves would start pouring into Hordeville, usually the Crossroads.

We had an hour, plus or minus, before their expected arrival so we were cranking out a level or two, as a level or two never hurts when night elves are pouring out of the woodwork. I was also thinking a short grind session might keep my noob ass out of the graveyard for a few extra minutes. I was wrong, but hell, live and learn.

Grinding exp is grinding exp no matter what world or game it takes place in, so my groupmates asked for a story to pass the time. They’re not asking for epic tales of holy knights and damsels in distress; they’re looking for the dirt, usually involving skanks or jagbags, but probably they’d enjoy a lesbian story also. If I had any lesbian stories. Which I don’t.

Almost ten years in online gaming, you’d think I’d have at least one lesbian story. Odd.

I wasn’t in the mood to recount YET ANOTHER loot mishap, or the classic “my brother was playing my character and logged off with your ebay-able items in my backpacks” type tale, so I told them this one:

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Confessions of a Dangerous Guide

Last week, I kinda sorta promised to write about my time as volunteer customer support. Consider this Customer Service, Part II … or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Enjoy the Lack of Service. (Part I is here; try to keep up.)

Here’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

About three or so years ago, I was an EverQuest guide. Hard to believe, I know: how in the world did he get through Sony’s rigorous screening? and, why in the world would he want to get through Sony’s rigorous screening?

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