Come! Come! Turtle these mangy Frostwolf dogs!

October 23, 2007 by at 8:44 am • Filed Under World of Warcraft Journal 
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Vanndar's Turtle Tactics

A screenshot from a recent (could be any) Alterac Valley, and like always, the Alliance General Vanndar Stormpike calls for a turtle. What a moron.

(For those who are WoW-free, a turtled PVP battleground is 100% defense — either forced or voluntary.)

Here’s some amusing guildnames I’ve collected over the past few months from our PVP battlegrounds. Thanks to these guilds for providing entertainment as we rode into the valley of death.

<Whip Cream Bikini>
<Hanging with my gnomies>
<Lambda Lambda Lambda>
<Queue Me Up Buttercup>
<Not Enough Minerals>
<Clan Redundancy Clan>
<Reagent Vendor>
<Gank You Very Much>
<OMG Who Talked to Domo>
<We Wipe on Trash>
<Nightmare Bunny Rabbits>
<Hanz Wheres My Guild Bank>
<Vicious Space Bees>
<Not Worth Inspecting>
<Diablo is better>
<My GF is letting me play>
<Do My Laundry>
<House of Pwncakes>

mmmm, pwncakes.

NOTE: If you want to add your own nominations in the comments, either use no enclosures on the guildname, or, use the hex codes for less than and greater than symbols. You probably think, “why don’t you just tell us those codes, Foton?” Believe me, I would, but I can’t figure out how to do it without resorting to & l t ; and & g t ; except no spaces, and by the time you’re done with all that nonsense, you’ll wish you hadn’t bothered.


35 Responses to “Come! Come! Turtle these mangy Frostwolf dogs!”

  1. Heather on October 23rd, 2007 9:31 am

    Mwahaha! Too many good ones to choose a favorite.

  2. Laura on October 23rd, 2007 9:49 am

    Made me giggle –

    Made me laugh harder –

  3. Laura on October 23rd, 2007 9:50 am

    Sigh…tags hate me
    Diablo is better
    OMG Who Talked to Domo

  4. Dearic on October 23rd, 2007 9:51 am

    Some very good ones there. Daimon actually did a list of these recently.

    My favorites from that list…

    Blood Bath and Beyond
    Straight Outta Hillsbrad
    At Least We Have Stables
    Hooters (Wife pointed out this all-moonkin guild name)
    My Little Pwnies
    Seal Cub Clubbing Club
    And Two Stealthed Rogues
    Built Horde Tough
    Operation Arathi Freedom

  5. Tony on October 23rd, 2007 10:07 am

    Not Enough Minerals made me LOL. That’s a good one.

  6. nordee on October 23rd, 2007 12:30 pm

    Molten Corpses
    Steaks on a Plain (All Tauren…previously features in afkgamer)

  7. brian on October 23rd, 2007 12:39 pm


    and i begin to suspect you are on the Rampage battlegroup……..

  8. Mihn on October 23rd, 2007 1:29 pm

    Best one of all time..

    [STDs are BOP]

  9. Garstone on October 23rd, 2007 2:48 pm

    Your Mom is my Epic mount is the best one ive seen

  10. Papa on October 23rd, 2007 3:01 pm

    I thought

    Touch My PvPness

    had a certain naive charm.

  11. wowpanda on October 23rd, 2007 3:23 pm

    Gank you very much for this master piece of compiled guide names!!! Give me good laughs.
    I actually saw the “Your Mom is my Epic mount” guide once somewhere lol, they probably got the Ganked very much.

    I can feel the guide.

    Built Horde Tough
    Operation Arathi Freedom are 2 good additions, thanks Dearic

  12. Garstone on October 23rd, 2007 3:42 pm

    THe guy I knew who started the Your Mom is My Epic Mount Pvp’d TONS so he was all over our battlegroup

    Less you’re from my server

  13. Random Poster on October 23rd, 2007 4:17 pm

    One of my all time fave from my original PvE server

    Gnomeland Security

  14. TheeNickster on October 23rd, 2007 4:47 pm

    Tanaris guild with a funny name: “No pwn intended”

  15. Gemma on October 23rd, 2007 5:46 pm

    What is wrong with you people!? Reagent Vendor is CLEARLY the winner. I am going to do that asap and go stand next to some gryphon master somewhere….

    Came across one the other day called: I Pee In Moonwells


  16. Tormatix on October 23rd, 2007 11:23 pm

    my wife read this and says her fave is…


  17. Tormatix on October 23rd, 2007 11:24 pm

    ..sapped girls can’t say no…

  18. Phyldar on October 24th, 2007 4:56 am

    The GMs caught it real quick.

    Say it out loud if you don’t get it at first.

  19. Phyldar on October 24th, 2007 4:57 am

    Bah…damn tags…

    “Come Honor Face”

    Say that out loud if you don’t get it at first.

  20. Drezda on October 24th, 2007 11:38 am

    My guild has the best name imo
    “The Short Bus”

  21. Hover on October 24th, 2007 3:17 pm

    Armory claims no less than 141 guilds on various servers named “Gnomeland Security”. Also 39 of “Hordeland Security”.

    Also on my server:

    WTF Tree
    Sharding Epics
    Free Hugs

  22. Fords on October 24th, 2007 7:33 pm

    Hiya Foton, long time reader, first time poster and all that. I reckon my favourite guild name would have to be Hardcore Pwnography. I laughed like a bastard the first time I saw that tag 😀

  23. Heleth on October 24th, 2007 9:55 pm

    Gnomeland Security

  24. Dimble on October 25th, 2007 1:57 am

    Fat Kids Are Hard To Kidnap

  25. delarin on October 25th, 2007 4:24 am

    Seen them run around in my AV’s a few times.

  26. delarin on October 25th, 2007 4:26 am

    I suck I forgot the note that Foton posted.

    The guild I meant was : “PVP sux, when’s Nax?”

  27. Anonymous Coward on October 25th, 2007 6:12 am

    One of the best i saw in my PvP days was: “Oprah Windfury”.

  28. Oz on October 25th, 2007 7:35 am

    Boo, I was compiling a list of funny names, but that link must be for someone in my battlegroup since I see a lot of ones on my list.

    I still laugh at Cake or Death. It’s from an Eddie Izzard sketch that I always found entertaining. I wonder if the guild members know that?

  29. Docmdnite on October 26th, 2007 4:01 am

    i am trying to get people to sign my charter for an alt guild called Exalted with Your Mom

  30. The Randomly Generated Guild Tag at MMOG Nation on October 26th, 2007 6:38 am

    […] In the spirit of Foton, I present to you some of my best finds from playing with the tool: […]

  31. samownall on October 26th, 2007 12:53 pm

    Omfg pwncakes cracked me up 🙂 mmmm

    samownall wow 2.3

  32. Shutter on October 26th, 2007 5:02 pm

    You’ve got most of my good ones, though one that isn’t on your list:

    It burns when I PvP

  33. nordee on October 29th, 2007 6:02 am

    Hates You

    …is pretty funny if you think about what it looks like onscreen.

  34. Jules on November 5th, 2007 11:28 am

    I’ve seen both It Hurts When I PVP and its sister guild, It Hurts When I PVE.

  35. Heather on December 6th, 2007 7:30 pm

    had to come back to this older entry tonight. some friends and I just decided to set up our own guild (our old one had rather stagnated and was dying on the vine; we were kind of the only ones left anyway who were active). anyway, I don’t know who suggested it, but the guild name ended up being:

    Innocent Bystander

    I love having that under my char names…

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