Commenter Ohsnap discovered an epic World of Warcraft thread in progress from the Onyxia server: Who Wants to be the GM of DSOL? This is for real. Basically, it’s the old “husband and wife Warcraft team and one of the two is getting some extracurricular action”, in this case, the wife. The husband wrote:

Hello and thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Contrary to what you might assume or believe, I am the GM of Dirty Sons of Liches (look me up in the armory if you doubt it) and the only remaining founder. The guild is a little over a year old, my days as GM is about to end and I need someone to take over for me.

As you might know, Gilgamesh is my wife in real life and has placed a significant amount of work into the guild and people are likely to respond why not give it to her. The primary reason is I intend to gkick her from the guild when I return home from work tonight.

As it turns out playing wow isn’t the only thing she likes to do in her free time. I hear that she is often very friendly over ventrilo…very friendly.

With that said, I have decided not to disband the guild- the guild deserves to live on. I would like to just give it away….for free. Website, DKP, everything.

Whats the catch?

Simple really, I need some information. I want to know EVERYTHING. Considering Gilgamesh doesnt work, and I pay for everything, I have access to everything. Name your virtual price.

Visit http://www.dirtysonsofliches.com/ for my contact information.

Thank you very much and happy hunting.

Holy crimony.

Many (most?) of us have seen similar in our guilds and games, but rarely do you see such … publicity, and by the wounded party no less. Let’s call him the petitioner, because we know that’s where this is going. (Somewhere there’s a judge about to get an intro into the underbelly of online society. She did what? Where? People do that?)

Reply #21 by the petitioner:

I also wanted to add, if you think you were the only guy that got to have some “Private Time” with my wife because you are special…you are wrong. There are 3 that I know of.

I don’t want this information so I can “Track People Down” or do anything at all. I just want to have closure and move on with my life. And in this process I hope to be able to make something good out of it- and if that means I need to give away several thousand gold or guild bank items it seems like a very small price to pay.

I dunno. If you’re an Onyxia pixel humper, I hope you’re a rogue IRL and can stealth to and from work.

And finally, reply #275 (page #14) by the petitioner, apparently this isn’t the first incident … big surprise there:

Just to clarify some things. We were in counseling as this happened. Ironically because she had done this in the past on a different server and it was something I was still trying to deal with. One guy she told me about the other I found out on my own.

Gilgamesh was the love of my life. She was everything to me, I am sorry that I could not give her everything she needed. But as she explains, I made her do this.

I work between 30-80 hours a week, when i get home its not uncommon for me to cook dinner for us around 10pm and watch her eat as she “Runs The Guild”. Often times I am too tired and just drink beer.

I don’t want this post to sound as if I am trying to validate what I have done here. But rather to ensure that I never allow myself to be subjected to my own blind faith and devotion.

She took my escape from reality, twisted it, and made it real. Now I have done the same. Perhaps she did not feel what she was doing was cheating. I wonder when she reads this if she will differentiate the between fantasy and reality then.

Bonus! An Onyxia paparazzo snapped some screenies of private conversations between an ALLEGED pixel humper and other guildmates in reply #298 (page 15).

Additional resources: Encyclopedia of Demeter – Gilgamesh Drama, including links to cited materials, additional media and fan club information.

I can add to that. Best Gilgamesh post, in hindsight:

I MISS YOU CHUBBY!! Ony is just not the same now without all you guys 🙁

Obviously.

(Good work, Ohsnap. Way to snoop out the epic drama!)

UPDATE: Oh no! As anticipated, the forum thread got killed! But not before I archived the entertaining material in Furl. I’ll post SS’s to Flickr tomorrow (or whenever Furl is functioning again) … for the lolligaggers.