Ok folks, this World of Warcraft forum thread is one of those game dramas that is SO GOOD, you actually start camping the message board to watch the explosion in real time.

Which is exactly what I did — despite protests from my weekend game groups, but to hell with them, this was/IS good shit.

For the firewall-challenged, here’s a few excerpts to tantalize.

Title: Drama is a guy (… and usually a whore, but that’s a philosophical discussion.)

Drama of the Norgannon realm wrote:

I think it’s time to end this little charade. I’m a guy.

Back when I my GF was leveling characters, she had a mixed variety of male and female characters. She noticed that without any indication by the player, most people assumed male characters were guys IRL and female characters were girls IRL. She also noticed that people were much more pleasant towards her female characters than her male characters. She thought this was a surprising, yet offending observation. Sexists exist, ladies and gents, even in WoW.

When she finally got me interested enough in the game to go buy a copy and start leveling a character, she suggested that I make a female character, and pretend to be female. She told me that it would make the whole gaming experience more enjoyable because people would actually be a lot nicer to you if they thought you were female IRL. Along with this discussion went which class and race to pick. She suggested warrior because a skilled protection warrior in end game is highly sought after… Anyway this is beside the point.

We decided that to avoid obvious complications with men trying to flirt with me, she and I were to be @!!*!!!s. I borrowed some pictures of her and her sister to use in the creation of the myspace link seen in the signature of all of my posts predating this one. Even though I claimed I was happy in a very flourishing relationship, some guys insisted on coming on to me which was quite frankly very creepy and disgusting.

At times it was kinda fun when people would offer to run me through instances for free. Other times it was creepy and sometimes scary when certain guys in particular just wouldn’t accept “*#** off” as an answer. I guess you could say this experience has enlightened me in some ways.

I feel I have mislead many by pretending to be someone I am not and for this I do apologize. I did my best to steer clear of obvious complications such as faking falling in love with anyone, or otherwise leading anyone to believe that they had a chance with me. If you are heartbroken, check your package. Is it still there? Good. You’ll get over it.

I am a very straight male who was merely curious about some of the things the other side goes through when dealing with men on the internet. I am both shocked and disgusted at some of the ways in which I was treated while I was pretending to be Jennifer. I will neither name names, nor will I get specific as to what actually happened between these unnamed persons and myself. It is history.

Forum trolls feast upon the grandest thing to come your way since the birth of the server.

Now, if you’ve been around online gaming for a while (i.e. longer than 30 minutes), you know already this story hasn’t played out and will only get better. (Pssst, you were right!)

Further reading and it seems Drama (self-described heterosexual male) was pretending, in game, to be a lesbian in real life. As you do.

Another Norgannon resident responds, Reply #9:

there is a huge difference in playing a toon that is a girl and actually PRETENDING to be a girl. especially going to the lengths of creating a fake myspace and pretending you and your girlfriend are %%%!!!!s in order to get little bit of attention.

thats pretty pathetic. perhaps you should transfer to an RP server. i’m sure you can meet all sorts of freaks such as yourself.

edit: why is l.e.s.b.i.a.n filtered? is that SUCH a bad word?! =]

The myspace has been deleted, btw. I know because I checked. In the interest of research, of course.

Ok, the whole lesbian roleplay thing happens. Usually the “lesbian confession” is a marker for a mangina, as someone points out in the thread, but all’s fair in roleplay and war.

A few accusations of real-life homosexuality later, Drama gives out some more real-life details (*cough*red herrings*cough*). #33:

Q u o t e: I’ll ask one last time…What the @#$% is his NAME?

I know damn well your “GF” is a man, and you have a mangina.

You had just Bro’d yourself.

——————————————————————————–

You know nothing, and while I find a small amount of humor in reading your speculations, you are becoming somewhat of an annoyance.

Last time I’m going to point this out for you, moron.

I am a guy. My name is John. I have all the normal equipment of a human male.
I have a girlfriend. Her name is Amanda. She has all the normal equipment of a human female.

Anything beyond this you can use your imagination… But you post your fantasies here, and I’m afraid I’m going to have to continue to shoot them down.

And further bla bla about his social experiment and how he’s a feminist HETEROSEXUAL male and his eyes are opened now!

And then … someone blows this thread apart. #86:

I’d like to point out that he’s not denying the fact that he is indeed Brightstaff. The mage that used to post on these forums all the time claiming to be “the best mage on the server”.

So what happened Brightstaff, were you not getting enough attention on your mage? You decided you had to make a bigger scene by making a female warrior, and pretending to be a female?

If indeed you consider yourself a male feminist, then what’s the point of more/less stalking a certain female mage on this server? How do you explain that one? You know, the mage that you told everyone invited you to come to this server, the same mage that’s had to report you to a GM numerous times because you wouldn’t leave her alone….

and #87:

Yes, this is Brightstaff, I didn’t even piece it together before.

His RL name IS John, and he was obsessing over some girl named Amanda that dumped him.

And he’s a massive myspace junkie, has a 60 Warrior so leveling would be fast the second time.

EDIT: he was also kicked out of school (again) for stalking Amanda, is living in a shed and is on WoW 20+ hours a day so this is right up his alley

Bravo, Norgannon detectives! Bravo.

#88, Drama, the artist formerly known as Brightstaff, responds:

For the sake of her privacy, this will not be discussed. For the sake of your own wellbeing, I suggest you not bring it up either. I will only go so far as to say that I was under the impression that she was my friend at the time. I did several things I shouldn’t have that she didn’t like. There was a period of time when we didn’t speak to each other, and then out of nowhere one day she sends me a message. We begin speaking to each other again after I recovered from the shock of her sending me a message. As far as I know, when I deleted my mage along with all of my other toons to start anew, we were on good terms. Do not bring this up again. Not for my sake. For hers. She still probably hasn’t quite recovered from all the drama from last time something like this happened, and I will not let you upset her again. You will not mention her name. You will not even hint at it. You will never mention this again. This is not a topic for discussion.

Touching. The guy is eloquent, we can give him that.

He continued, #89:

As one might expect I was a bit upset when we broke up, but we had not been together for very long. Amanda does not play WoW. I was still trying to get over her when I began this project, so naturally she was all I could think about. So why bother coming up with a new name for a made up l.esbian girlfriend?

And as for me, I chose Jennifer, after Jennifer Aniston, my favorite actress.

The pictures of “Jennifer and Amanda” on the myspace are actually some that I had found on the internet in a publicly available photo album. This particular album was mostly family pictures, and contained several thousand pictures. The two girls in the pictures are sisters in the family… I could not help but choose these particular pictures because in every single one… they all just looked so happy. I don’t know the people in the photos personally beyond the first names mentioned in the captions under the pictures. The names I chose for my purposes are *not* the names of the people in the pictures. They don’t know me, nor do they know that someone has been borrowing their pictures. Yes, it’s actually kinda creepy now that I think about it.

What. in. the. fuck. And creepy? I don’t think “creepy” quite covers how messed up that was.

#89 continued, The Crescendo, so to speak, with my parenthetical observations:

A series of events which led up to my dropping out of my 2nd semester of college follows: I was depressed for many reasons, not that I need to justify my behaviors to any of you… I attempted suicide. (Lie.) I spent a couple of weeks under protective custody of the local nuthouse (Lie), meanwhile missing several major tests. I came back to school to find out that I had missed too much class to continue, so I withdrew — not failed — from my classes. (Lie)

I was never kicked out of college for any reason (Lie). During my first semester there was a tragic loss of a relative whom I was very close to (Lie). I spent days at a time holed up in my room avoiding people, avoiding life… Endless sleep / cry cycles for nearly a week. I finally went back to school to withdraw (Lie), not because I didn’t have any other options (Lie), but because I was in no emotional state to carry all the responsibilities I had previously been taking care of.

I regretted that the relationship ended, but I respected her wishes (Lie) and faded out of her life. I am no longer apart of hers, and she is no longer a part of mine.

It’s a 1 bedroom apartment, and it’s quite cozy, tyvm. (Lie)

But most of the time I balance WoW with other things in my life (Lie). A generous portion of my time, however, being devoted to my friends (Lie) and guild mates, and WoW as a whole.

#102, another player who had personal dealings with the parties involved responds:

No John, this is where you’re wrong. The person you were stalking online, didn’t like you at all. And she repeatedly reported you to GM’s for harassment. Get your story straight before you try to justify your actions.

You were one of the best mages? LMFAO! Get the f@ck out with that bs, if you were that good then you wouldn’t have had any problem at all proving that you were good, muchless finding a good end game guild. I’ve seen you on your mage, and as a matter of fact, my mage out dps’d you 3-1 easily, while still not pulling aggro.

The lengths you went to to gain the attention of roughly…I dunno say 40% of the Norgannon population, just down right blows my mind. I’ve never seen someone as attention hungry as you. You claim to not be obsessed with this Amanda…yet you magically fit her into your entire lie about being a l esbian, and being a female in real life.

Aww you tried to kill yourself, it’s such a shame that you didn’t succeed. We don’t wanna hear your emo cry baby bs. Save that junk for your many myspace pages that you have.

As for the part of not mentioning the name of the individual that you were stalking on this server (which originated on Thrall I might add), out of pure respect to her I won’t mention her name. Believe me, it has nothing to do with anything you said. As for you threatening me, grow up. This is the internet, you’re not going to threaten me like you’re some big bada$$. You don’t scare me John.

People like you belong in the nuthouse, based on the post you have made on Brightstaff and on Drama, I come to one conclusion…You’re an attention hungry little boy that wants nothing more than to be the center of attention no matter what the cost may be.

You think rolling a warrior means that you won’t be replaced? You have to stand out as a warrior, whether you decide to dps, or tank. You have to be one of the best at either. A feral druid can easily take your place in a tanking or dps roll, a prot spec pally can easily take your spot (at least in 5 mans) in the tanking roll as well. So your arguement is a bit off. Mages might be a dime a dozen, but there’s only a handful of good mages out there. You sir, were not one of them.

Man. Fucker is blowing my mind too. My conclusion: This guy is a sociopath-in-training and he’s using message boards to hone his craft. He’s got a ways to go — most of the lies are pretty transparent. He “serviced” his uncle’s girlfriend?? Cmon.

Nonetheless, well done, Thread Destined To Be My 2007 Favorite! Well fucking done.