Week of Fives: My Favorite Stories of 2006

January 5, 2007 by at 3:54 pm • Filed Under Etc., Noteworthy 
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In chronological order, these were my five favorite stories from 2006 — all from World of Warcraft, three from Le Guild (nothing like a raiding guild for putting out drama and angst!) and two from my travels near and far.

1. January 2006 – The Gates of Ahn’Qiraj are opened for the first time anywhere on the Medivh realm. Hundreds of well-wishers and curious observers from other realms flooded Medivh with level 1+ alts, created specifically to observe the gate-opening scripts — largest gathering of cows (tauren) anywhere, with bovine names such as Milkme, Gotmilk, and Mooyou. (Warcraft tutorial: the tauren starting area is the closest to the Ahn’Qiraj instance.) GMs eventually got involved and ported the cowlings to other areas so the natives could enjoy their gate party without being trampled.

I took some heat for running around AQ/Silithus with my own noob cow tourist, but there’s nothing like being there for mass chaos. I only wish there were more such events during the year, hopefully on my home server for once. Would save me the trouble of making a noob character and running him all the way out to the anarchy.

The series:

2. August 2006 – The “I Hate People” series. Notice how quiet my guild was for the first 8 months of the year? Ya, I notice it too. What in the hell happened Summer 2006 because it was just one shitstorm after the other.

Too many players involved in this shitstorm to name, but I enjoyed writing this series because I got a rare chance to toast someone’s ass who thought he got away with a lie. I didn’t necessarily enjoy LIVING through this drama, but all’s well that ends well.

The series:

3. September 2006 – THE EMO TANK!! I know you miss him. I’d say I do too, but that would be a lie. He’s trying his darndest to get back into our happy family so you might get your wish.

I’m voting “NO!” because I want to publish his tattoo pics and gang hand signs pic that I copied from our guild site a few months ago.

The series:

4. October 2006 – If This is Wednesday, This Must Be Naxxramas. I had wanted to try a live-blog chat-log type post of a guild raid for a while. Unless you are an online-gaming raider or have been one, you cannot know the craziness involved in organizing more than five people. Even thinking about it now, these are all adults, who can all follow directions (I used to think), why is meeting at a pre-arranged location at the pre-arranged time so difficult??

I still don’t know the answer to that, but maybe the log makes it clearer why “guild” is just another word for “nuthouse”.

5. October 2006 – No, I Won’t Dance Naked with You in Ironforge. I love these two nutballs (aka future guild members) I met in Westfall and Redridge Mountains; they taught me the true meaning of irony. I’m hiding from my nutcase guildmates on an anonymous alt, enjoying the peace and quiet, and somehow, like I’m a vortex for crazy, they found me.

The one guy did teach me an important technique for avoiding people. Whenever I don’t feel like talking, “SCUBA!!”

Bonuses after the jump, Other Favorites and My Five Favorite Screenshots of 2006

Also Rans – Other Favorites:

February 2006 – CBS News and Teh Smed bump heads: CBS News published some anonymous-y emails about Sony Online and their games and “practices”, Smedley, (OMG, of SOE, noob) struck back: “There has never been a release by Sony Online Entertainment that has been incomplete.” Ex-EQers everywhere are still laughing.

March 2006 – The Onyxia is Serious Business sound clip. See also, Kotaku’s interview with the Onyxia guy (NSFW: language and screaming)

October 2006 – South Park raids World of Warcraft in the episode “Make Love not Warcraft”. Wildly popular when it aired, wildly popular still — one of the top sellers on iTunes videos, I see. This Christmas, when visiting the family back home, my nephews would ask to borrow my iPod whenever we had to attend a family yawnfest … Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas Day brunch, etc etc. “You’re gonna watch that South Park Warcraft again, aren’t you?”, I’d ask. “Ya …”, said they. “Ok, let me share an earphone”

November 2006 – Blue Forge Fire’s recruitment video. Clever, snappy — sadly, they’re full on rogues.

December 2006 – The forum thread (short-lived, boo!!) “Why is homosexuality excluded from lore?”, partially archived in Lesbiantics. That thread was bound for glory and its life was cut short in a tragic forum deletion. It will always have a place in my heart, however, for teaching me the best word I learned in 2006: phallogocentric. Once you learn a word like that, it’s amazing how many things you notice, and comment on, that are phallogocentric.

Five Favorite Screenshots of 2006

My one-screenshot review of The Burning Crusade, the Blood Elf starting area (full post):

TBC Self Propelled Brooms

Madonna on the loading screen (no, not The Madonna, Madonna the faux virgin). (full post)

TBC A Material Priest

My favorite guild name from 2006 (full post)

At Least We Took Stables

Gnome Porn. In the absence of interesting, productive activities, players will always turn to porn, in-game or out. (full post)

Gnome Porn

This screenshot wasn’t mine (shot by Atrox). For some reason, I still chuckle everytime I see “I’m inside your farms, stabbin yur swinez”.

In the absence of porn, players will always kill pigs. (full post)

Stabbin Yur Swinez

2006 was a good year — was a little dry for new MMO releases. 2007 should be better for that.

There will always be good stories to tell whenever two or more players are gathered together. Like a vortex for crazy, I intend to be there!



Comments

3 Responses to “Week of Fives: My Favorite Stories of 2006”

  1. Random Poster on January 5th, 2007 7:07 pm

    Oh man how the hell did I miss the whole I Hate People series. That was friggin gold. And your revenge in the end was just too nice.

  2. Scott on January 5th, 2007 10:42 pm

    nobody does it better than you. good work, man.

  3. Anonymous on January 9th, 2007 4:10 pm

    Ohh that was sweet, to read all those stories again. I actually think they are better this time 😉

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