So I mentioned that The Emo Tank left our guild a couple weeks ago. (Ya, I’m all broken up about it.) Here’s how it went down:
The Emo Tank had become increasingly unbearable: he was barking out orders in the warrior channel (when no officers were in the channel, of course); he was sending random tells to well-placed guild members asking for their reassurance and support and he was going wonky at the most inopportune moments — mid-Blackwing Lair clear, for instance.
Example: the one BWL clear, the raid leader makes some wisecrack about the tanks. We tittered. Emo-boy spends the next 20 minutes asking me in /tells what the RL meant by that. WTF. He meant nothing. A joke? Ever heard of them? Meanwhile, we’re yucking it up in officer chat channel because we’re assholes like that, but he had no way of knowing that.
How can I be sure? We would have heard him opening the razor package over Ventrilo.
So the one raid night, I’m offline. Some real life obligation, I don’t remember anymore, so I wasn’t witness to this. And I know exactly why Emo Tank chose that evening to wig out — no way in flaming Hell would I have stood for that shit and he knew/knows that. I’m not in charge of the trigger for the guild, but I have no qualms about ordering the assassination.
At any rate, they were flying to the raid zone when one of the officers noticed that Emo-head was still out in Winterspring, a far-flung WoW zone that is nowhere near any of the raid instances. The officer inquired when Emo-head would be departing to meet at the raid zone — they were a little tight on warriors, could use another. Emo-boy told the officer he was going to skip the raid and continue farming faction for his pussy mount. And I mean that literally, a cat mount, but pussy mount is more accurate.
Since Emo Tank was ranked as a guild Raider — including its accompanying privileges and perqs — openly skipping a scheduled guild raid is not an option. As I described another time, we have the two ranks: Raider and Non-raider. Completely voluntary which rank people would prefer, but if they want the privileges and benefits of being a Raider, then goddammit, if they’re online, they’re available to raid. That’s the responsibility part. Emo-boy knew all that, he was making a play.
Now all the officers were upset and pissed off. They asked one of the more-dedicated Raiders to log off her (we think it’s a her, could be wrong) priest and play her warrior for the raid. Now she’s pissed because her priest wanted something from the raid zone. Normally, we don’t hear a peep out of her in guild chat, except “ok” “thanks” and “good night everyone”, but when she saw that Emo wasn’t going to raid because he was working on pussy faction, she said something like “*Emo*, when a raid is called, Raiders are required to fly to the raid zone.”
By his reaction, you’d have thought she called him a dickless, skillless, brainless emo-sack. He just went berserk — she never listens to him about warrior strats, she doesn’t have the same level of play as the other warriors, she doesn’t whatever.
The officers fired a warning shot over his bow. Y’know, time to walk away and cool off, pal, before you’re on the outside looking in.
Does he heed the warning? Of course not. He took his performance to Ventrilo and upped the stakes a little … I shit you not … he started sobbing over Vent. A grown man, sobbing on Vent about a fucking game. I could not believe it when the officers told me the next day, but they swore it was the God’s honest.
Everyone calmed down, Emo-tears finally hushed (although I imagine they still heard some snuffling over Vent), the complaintant Warrior didn’t make good on her offer to quit, and the raid went off as planned. Without Emo, or further emo.
The Next Day. I logged on, looking forward to some relaxing PVP (no raid scheduled) and I’m jumped by officer chat — Get in vent! Officer meeting! Fucking great, what now? They recounted the previous night’s events to get me up to speed and then it’s “what do we do now?” What do we do now??!?! Seriously?!?!?! Fucker shoulda been booted last night. Winterspring my ass. Get the fuck out of my guild.
That was my vote anyways.
But noooooooooooooo, cooler heads had to prevail and they decided to have a heart-to-heart chat with Emo-boy ASAP. I was not chosen to have the heart-to-heart with him. Damn.
The Chosen Officer (aka Mr. Short Straw) had a brief, calm, peaceful, we’re all friends here, type convo with Teh Emo; he responded that he had problems, bla bla, his guild loyalty could not be questioned, bla bla, he’ll work on it.
The next morning, at 5 am server time, the gaming witching hour (remember?), The Emo Tank guildremoved.
And that, as they say, was that.
An officer had to do a Ventrilo speech later that night for the guildmembers, using sanitized language, and ending with a “we’re all still friends and DO NOT harass him.” I hear the warriors had a mini celebration in their chat channel.
Since then, The Emo Tank has applied to a few rival guilds and bounced from one to the other every few days. Whether this has been his choice or the hapless guilds’, I don’t know. I have a good guess, but don’t know.
The million dollar question is: Has a new Emo Tank emerged to assume the vacant throne?
Not yet, but we all know he/she/it is, even now, preparing for their reign of terror.