Warcraft Widows
September 21, 2005 by Foton at 2:01 pm • Filed Under Asides
Tags: gaming, warcraft, world of warcraft
Yahoo! Groups : WoW Widows — Not entirely unexpected, World of Warcraft has an internet support group for those abandoned and neglected by their Warcraft-playing loved ones. Unless you have a similar issue at home, you should only read and reflect. You don’t go to the circus, jump into the center ring and start doing tricks with the lions, fcs.
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344 Responses to “Warcraft Widows”
afkgamer.com
Thanks for your concerns for the WOW community, But i know many couples that enjoy the game together. It might be time for you to try something that your husband or boyfirend likes, instead of forcing them to watch a mindless chick flix with you.
why would someone want to spend your quality time playing a mindless, stupid fantasy game. I mean come on now 2 or 3 hours that is fine but when your whole waking time that you are not working and you are sitting in front of a computer while your life is slipping by you that is just down right stupid
Oh my god, i’m so glad Warcraft Widows exists!
i thought i was the only one! my (now ex) boyfriend is an uber nerd, wow addict. i remember ages ago he told me one of his friends’ gilrfriends broke up with him because this guy played wow too much, and i was like pft, as if you’d split up over that. now i see her point… in response to “Vic”, i actually DID play wow myself (my character was a Night Elf called Akida, i got up to level 10) so fuck you, i didn’t want to force my boyfriend to watch chick flicks with me, i actually wanted him to TALK TO ME, or go out with our friends, or interact with HUMANS. i tried the game to please him, and i actually did find it fun, but not THAT fun. the end came after we hadn’t had sex for a week, and he chose to GO TO A WOW PARTY, INSTEAD OF HAVING SEX WITH ME.
World of Warcraft is made by saaaaaaad little men who haven’t seen daylight in years, who use the game to play out their fantasies (which i decided after i saw a Wow “pet”, an s&m sort of character in skimpy leatherwear who whipped herself and said “ooh!” when she was bored….go on, masturbate over that you fucking nerd).
So now we are just another couple broken up by wow. We still go to parties and stuff together, but i swear there isn’t one party or social situation where he doesn’t bring up wow. He doesn’t realise it actually alienates people; if someone doesn’t know wow, they can’t be included in the conversation…and no, not everyone wants to “learn” about wow - JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!
We try to tell him that he is really sad being so into the game, but he argues that playing wow IS interacting with humans, you are still playing with people all across the world….NO. travelling overseas is meeting people all over the world; interacting with humans means getting off your arse where you’ve been sitting for the last 10 hours, leaving your stuffy little room, going outside and TALKING TO SOMEONE IN THE FLESH! It’s what fucking normal people do!!
That’s a good story Mieka. Too much of anything is a bad thing, even cowbell.
Was going to ask if this was your ex, but sounds like your ex hasn’t even done an “I’m burned out” hiatus from WoW yet.
WoW stands for “With-out Women”. I only know a few chicks that can get into the game hardcore and those women are rare. The more crap you give your boyfriend about him playing WoW the more WoW he will play. Why ??
Because WoW offers a way out of the real world, you have status, respect, money, negative physical attributes are no longer an issue, the list goes on. If your boyfriend/girlfriend plays too much WoW it is because some other shit is going down. Job sucks, they are unhappy in the relationship, life whatever. You do not fix this by yelling and swearing at him/her. You have to schedule activities and constantly remind them of the time and place, since they will probably forget and start an instance or quest if you do not do this. Eventually the game will lose its appeal. The amount of time varies and if you really care about them you will deal with a few months of no attention being paid to you.
I played WoW religiously for like 4 to 5 months straight and burned myself right the hell out. I have 2 50 characters and the thought of WoW is somewhat sickening. You will eventually get your nerd back, you just gotta make sure you dont let them play another MMORPG :). Boyfriend and girlfriend type crap, those relationships end, DO NOT let this game ruin your marriage. If you give up on your significant other over a video game you are worse than they are. You show lack of commitment and truly prove that there were other problems between you two other than the game.
Mieka that is really sad that he didn’t want to have sex with you and chose to go to a WoW party. Thats somewhat amuzing actually, you will find someone better eventually. Or maybe you gave up too quick. Just remember men and women think differently… very differently !!!!
Thank the lord I’m not the only one who is suffing with this crap. WOW is the biggest waste of time. I don’t think its funny when my husband has those dumb characters say stupid jokes or dance or any other crap like that. Talk about time suck. Nothing productive comes out of it. Who wakes up early on the weekend to play all day and all night long and doesn’t even remember ENTIRE CONVERSATIONS we had while he was playing!! For the love. Nerd doesn’t even begin to describe it these WOW people.
And VIC, its one thing to take interest in something your boyfriend or husband does but if I have to pretend to enjoy the 1000th conversation about how excited he was when something dropped or how much gold he sold it for I think I’ll slit my throat and aim the blood in his direction. Its bad enough I have to listen to the damn game all day, its another to have to listen to him talk about it every waking second he’s actually NOT playing.
I have been with my bf for two years and we have been talking about engagement but I am having second thoughts because I don’t want to spend my marriage second in line to a video game. He talks to his guild more than he talks to me. I sit in bed naked begging him to give me attention so I don’t feel like an object that he just got bored with and found something better to entertain him. I do not mind if he plays, it is how much he plays that bothers me. Hours upon hours of talking to random ppl that he doesn’t even know. I’m afriad that if I did go through with it, he would neglect me and our children and I would be stuck in a marriage where I would be all alone with no support from my husband in any emotional or physical way. It hurts so bad to think of leaving him because I love him so much and I want to try so hard but at the same time I am really worried about my happiness and what I want out of life and marriage.
Jeezus, are you women for real?
Translation: wah wah wah, my man treats me like a blow up doll, wah wah wah, should I make babies with him and drag innocent children through this mess of a relationship, wah wah wah, I’m the victim here, wah wah wah, things are gonna change I can feel it, wah wah wah, savin’ all the food stamps and burnin’ down the trailer park.
Loser.
“If you give up on your significant other over a video game you are worse than they are. You show lack of commitment and truly prove that there were other problems between you two other than the game.”
So by that statement if a wife has waited 18 months for her husband to get off a computer game to spend time with her and their children and finally decides to get herself a life instead of watching the back of his head then SHE is worse than him?
Didn’t he give up on them the moment he walked in the door after work and logged on straight away, telling his family “later, Ive got a raid on” night after night and for all the weekend?
Why should these women have an extra child to wait on when they actually promised to love and cherish another ADULT?
Maybe you should read some of these “widows” stories before making statements like that. And as we say “we don’t make them stay with us, they are quite welcome to leave, but if you choose to be with us, then be WITH us” and we don’t mean 24/7, but having spent a week talking to the man at the shop more than your husband sucks.
And a lot of these men have lost their jobs from taking too many days off to play WOW and their wives actually support them.
“Didn’t he give up on them the moment he walked in the door after work and logged on straight away, telling his family “later, Ive got a raid on” night after night and for all the weekend?”
Amen, sister.
Oh..and Foton? Thanks for the cute story about how you had a girl over and couldn’t even get it up because you had already wanked off twice that day!
Loser.
Personally when I got it it reminded me of my old Live Role Playing days, when we made armour and weapons, made up stories, beat each other around a bit, become heroes or died then went down the pub after.
The social aspect really surprised me on WOW, from not wanting to talk with anyone and just do my own thing i found a gentle spread of associates, real close freinds i could talk to about my real problems, and even met a couple of nice girls on there, one of whom im now leaving my wow widow for!
its very surreal, not for the way everyone can hide their physical self, but how you can spot what people are really like inside from the way they play, (I was very very good at spotting geniune girls for a start, and of course the teenage boys are a bit easier to discern, ) but i think when someone puts a mask on thats when they fool themselves that they a re covered and reveal their true inner self in their words and behaviour even if they might think they are taking on the role of the mask, :O)
Good luck widows, heres hoping he’s not flirting with his future wife on there!
x
And if he does then they deserve each other.
Would be SUCH a good relationship based on cheating and lies and she KNOWS that she can trust him not to do that again. She is special.
And just think of all the lovely communicating online they could do….that will certainly built a solid relationship…..but if they are both addicts, who is going to clean the house, pay the bills etc…..and God forbid they actually may have children that one of them will need to get off the computer for to look after.
But again…their relationship is special…he didn’t cheat and lie and she didn’t chase another womans husband. So their foundation is strong
i am married to a gamer and it is not pretty. He expects me to raise his child not mine and still be oh so happy. So if anybody has any constructive ideas on how to help, i would be grateful.
This is a public service announcement: Down with WoW, a forum community for those affected by World of Warcraft addictions.
GaH!.. i am so fed up with warcrack. my boyfriend has a new character that HE NAMED AFTER ME. as if that is somehow going to appease me. now he spends more time with his digital me than he does with the actual me. Like i really want to see a character that he warped into looking as much like me as possible walk around in a leather thong and have pointless battles with orcs. does anyone know of a bug u can plant in warcrack so they cant play it any more?
This isnt such a big deal. First off if a man wants to spend more time with a level 47 Gnome Warlock that with you have you thought that maybe theres somthing wrong with you?
I have no compassion to you “WoW Widows”, have you tried playing the game (getting to level 10 is step 1, try level 60)? We have to put up with alot for you but have never told you how many things bother us (and dont forget you become pychotic once a month).
Despite what we tell you wed much rather be trying to kill CThun than at the theater watching some romance movie (but if you want to see the Warcraft movie when it comes out im sure alot of us will go).
Im sure youre all about to say I havnt read your posts, well I did before posting this, and I still have absolutely no sympathy for you. As for Mieka’s post, thats sad, but like I said earlier, could the problem be with you? Is that the reason he would rather raid Orgrimmar (or Stormwind if hes part of the Horde) than be with you?
As you can all tell by now I myself play this game (Im only level 16 but I read and talk about when not playing), this is good interaction, maybe all of you should play too and meet some of our friends, join our guilds, even go to WSG with us (WarSong Gulch for those of you who know nothing about the game).
Theres alot of stuff for couples to do, such as:
-Go to the faire
-Take an orphan to the places hes dreamed of seeing on Childrens Week
-Hunt for eggs during Noblegarden (Easter)
-Buy chocolates on Valentines Day
-Give wrapped gifts for the holidays or birthdays
-Have a party complete with fireworks
You can even join a guild and complete the ultimate goal (so far) of killing CThun. Try it, if you dont like it…well we probably wont quit for you so move on with life thats the hard truth)
Lvl 40 night elf here.
so yeah have played. Like action flicks better than romance and we are talking about playing 40-60 hours a week on top of work etc. They are even damaging their own health and affecting their jobs. This is not a discussion about casual gamers but hard-core addicts.
ps. wait until you experience halloween and Christmas
And if they want to play and not be with us, then why beg us to stay? why don’t they leave and live in WOW nirvana?
Oh, and guess what?
I actually enjoy doing things in RL with my s/o *wink wink* that can not be experienced quite as well in a game.
I love that every post arguing in favor of obsessive gaming behavior villanizes women as needy tyrants who force their faultless significant others to watch “chick flicks” and makes the fate of the relationship rest on the woman’s shoulders. Number one, women don’t only watch “romance movies”, and even more surprising…some MEN enjoy watching “chick flicks”. Number two, it’s NOT about the fact that they play world of warcraft. It’s the HOURS that are spent doing it and the consequences and effects that it has on the relationship. Perhaps some need a refresher on what exactly a relationship is……
relationship: n 1: a relation between people; (`relationship’ is often used where `relation’ would serve, as in `the relationship between inflation and unemployment’, but the preferred usage of `relationship’ is for human relations or states of relatedness); “the relationship between mothers and their children” [syn: human relationship] 2: a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection); “he didn’t want his wife to know of the relationship” 3: a state involving mutual dealings between people or parties or countries 4: state of relatedness or connection by blood or marriage or adoption [syn: kinship, family relationship]
Now, having gotten that out of the way, take note of a few choice words: “mutual dealings” “relation between” “connection”…. It shouldn’t take Webster to point out that you can’t have a “connection” or “relation” with only one party involved. For the mentally challenged, that’s like trying to plug a cord into a wall with no outlet. Nothing happens. It takes TWO people to have a relationship. While it’s healthy to have other interests, it’s NOT healthy to have the relationship itself be the secondary interest. If a relationship is going to work, both parties have to give it 100%. It’s unrealistic (not to mention unfair) for one party to expect the other to pick up their slack so they can play a video game. While each party needs to be understanding, there’s a difference between compromise and taking advantage of someone else. I can understand wanting to spend an hour or a day to yourself–I do that with a book, going for a walk, etc. But holing yourself away for 10 hours a day and only interacting with your significant other out of necessity (you know, “what’s for dinner?”) is unhealthy and abnormal. No matter what rationalization you have, whether it is that you “enjoy the game” and are “just having fun”, it has surpassed being a pastime. Instead of focusing on only pleasing themselves, they should look at how their decisions affect the people around them. How can you be angry at the woman you “love” for reacting to the way she’s treated? No one likes to be an accessory in someone else’s life. Furthermore, what will you have to show for all of the time dumped into this game? These are not just hours of your life; they add up to years spent doing nothing. Do you really think that when you’re 50 you’re still going to be bragging about that epic you picked up—or are you going to be regretting that you didn’t do more with your life, and wishing you had appreciated everything that you took for granted.
As for the widows of warcraft, it’s a difficult situation to be in. There is no easy way to fix everything—you can’t take the game away, or break their computer, that only makes your significant other resent you (and spend more money fixing the game/computer). You’ve tried hinting, you’ve tried outright talking, you’ve resorted to writing post-it notes on their monitor and still nothing…So how do you get through? You have to draw the line. If losing you is more acceptable to them than losing a day or two of the game, you’re better off without them. After all, unless you’re as equally obsessed about the game, you’re never going to be satisfied with being their second choice. We don’t enter relationships just for sex and companionship—it’s about being the best person you can be and realizing your potential. If you’ve tried and tried to make things work, it’s time for you to find someone who not only appreciates you, but inspires you on every level.
Sorry boys, but I really don’t see a level 60 mage being enough to get me through a shitty day at work, help me survive the hell-week of final exams, or ever being capable of coming close to the comfort one gets from a really good hug.
48 Human Warrior here.
Been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. Seriously considering marriage…Warcraft doesn’t get in the way of that. If you’re significant other is playing the game rather than spending time with you, that doesn’t show them being a loser…it shows you as being less significant than the game, which means you need to reevaluate yourself rather than complain about them playing too much. Think about it. If you were the picture perfect girlfriend you believe you are, wouldn’t he like spending more time with you? Time for a reality check, kids.
Yes Jason,
And I have even suggested that we break up many a time. He refuses too and saves he loves me blah blah blah.
*says
Foton - So you know these women are ‘for real’ and aren’t being unreasonably selfish and whiny. If they were being unreasonably selfish, they wouldn’t be posting here, because they would have left their gaming guys a long time ago and never looked back. WoW is an addiction, and it does cause it’s addicts to give their significant others less than they deserve. I had been with my girlfriend (now fiancé) for over 3 years, when I started playing, and she is the most loving, supportive, generous female I have ever known. By the time I quit, she was crying regularly (never when I was around), seeing a counselor, and ready to break up with me, not for revenge, but just because she knew she couldn’t take a relationship with someone that addicted for the rest of her life, and she wasn’t willing to bring children into the world, and have her and them be ignored every night while I raided. I would tell her I was going to be to her house at a certain time in the evening, and when I was about an hour late, I would call her, and tell her I was “almost done” (which I honestly believed to be true) and then I wouldn’t show up till about 6 hours later. I would be late for work every morning during the week, but I would roll out of bed earlier than I was supposed to get up for work, and hop directly on the computer. By the time she would get home from work, 10 or 11 hours later, I would STILL be in my PJ’s, on the computer, surrounded by a few dirty food containers from whatever I had managed to snarf from the kitchen when I got up on a restroom break. Now you may say that I am just a “jerk” for treating her that way, but the truth is that both before and after the time when I played, she was a VERY happy woman. In fact, I would go so far as to say she is somewhat “spoiled” because honestly, she gets basically whatever she wants.
Jason - You are way off base in suggesting that it is the women’s fault they are being ignored. My fiancé is
- beautiful, (momentoimages.com, select wedding. Her and I are the two in non-wedding attire in galleries I and II.)
- successful (She bought her own house at the ripe old age of 21, and makes significantly more than I do, and I am making a very respectable income)
- and fun.
She was all of these things before I started playing, and remains all of these things after I quit. She was patient, loved me, tried to let me do my own thing, tried to do anything else that I would do that wasn’t WoW, but in the end, it wasn’t her fault. It was my own addiction. Maybe you do fine at balancing your life, and you aren’t addicted to WoW. (And the fact that you only have a 48 warrior tends to prove this guess correct, unless you only VERY recently began playing) Great! More power to you. I wish there were more like you. Unfortunately for too many people, most people who play MMO’s can’t avoid getting sucked in.
My WoW cred, for any people who feel the need to take issue with things I said:
- 60 rogue in closed beta
- 60 priest in the resident uber-guild on my server. Mostly full epics, would have had all epics if I had stayed longer. Was part of the server-first Nef kill in BWL. Cleared all of MC, BWL, and Ony in one long session on two separate occasions.
I quit because it was the only way to salvage my career, my relationship to the person who matters the most to me in the whole world, and ultimately, my life and happiness. I still miss it greatly, to be honest, and would love to play again, but I know I can’t. I am just glad I didn’t lose her before I quit.
I can only mimic what was said just above. Some people just cannot play these games and get sucked in… I would venture to say most. Hell, I quit WoW about 10 months ago or so, and I STILL troll these boards and others, sort of reflecting. BUT… I am getting married this coming Friday. I tell my friends the quickest way to a divorce is a MMOG, and I am only half kidding. I know the woman I am marrying is far too important to me than anything that is flashy and shiny. My game playing is now specific to single player related games, or the occasional 360 multiplayer. Life is way too short to be spent sitting in front of a computer, unless you are getting paid for it.
(retired)
lvl 60 pally
lvl 45 rogue
lvl 53 warrior
(retired)
EQ1 and EQ2.
[…] Check out the blog site I found the WoW Widows Yahoo Group link. […]
You know what works for me? I wouldn’t say I am addicted, but I probably would be… if i played at home. We have a strict no MMOG playing at home policy, so if i wanna get my WOW fix, I need to go to a net cafe or something.
just a thought.
i highly agree about the time issues of playing WoW too much. yes its fine to have interests and past times. i started playing to be more active in his interests. yes i was sucked in, i have 60 mage, 60 priest failry decked out, and a 50 druid unfortunatly. i’ve been trying to balance time from work and him for the past year and half. but all it has come up too is more time on Wow. yes, friends and socializing circles has greatly dropped for the both of us. on my days off i play housewife quite well, i make dinners, get all “dressed up” for some interaction, and believe it or not, he takes his dinner plate, and sits at his computer. i find it very difficult to be on either side. but every gamer needs to take a break at some point regardless for 10min to permanantly.
Yes WoW Widows exist and their ranting is getting louder!
Check out my webcomic. If you resemble the main character… IT REALLY IS TIME TO QUIT!! (duck)
Widow’s Revenge comic strip at http://www.gamingsucks.com
The name was picked out for all you WOW addicts. You know you really have hit rock bottom when your about to lose your home because you spouse would rather put more time into the game than to get another job to make ends meet. You’d rather see your spouse and 2 children homeless all in the name of the game. Hope it is all worth it. Is it just a game? No, not at this point. Now it is reality. YOUR harsh reality. Once your spouse has left you to live in a different state, you are unable to see your kids and now you have to work 80 hours a week to pay child support and support yourself you finally see the light. Your spouse moves on surely not make the same mistake twice, the kids get a new and improved parent and THERE YOU ARE ALONE PLAYING,……..WOW.
After all said and done, I guess your whole life is just one big virtual reality game. What they hell are you going to do when the game stops and reality begins!
This thread is pure brilliant foton.
Anywho, addicition to MMOG’s is like any other addiction, a mental state, disease if you will that a person needs help getting out of. Doesn;t matter about the gender of the player.
Either you stick by those you love and help them out, or walk away.
Hey Ladies….
I believe that if your with a wow addict, than call a stone a stone….Get yourself’s to a Nar-ANON or Al-Anon meeting. They can help you learn how to deal with addicts and being with an addict. I work in the addiction field and by all means Game playing is an addiction. You are not just with someone whom is a Gamer…you are in fact by definition with an ADDICT. Don’t let your loved one pull you into a life of feeling unloved and unwanted, take care of yourself first. Addict thinking does not allow for anything more than selfishness and self-centeredness. Without help addicts will never be anything to anyone. So please for the good of the life you have and the short time that you have it for, get some support that can get you through this.
With Care
WOW addict #4,000,982
foton… with as much as you dismiss these peoples pain, I would like to know how your relationships are. when was the last time you spoke to a family member other than to ask them to get you a drink? Do you even have a relationship with a woman?
STFU and fix me a drink.
(I know I’ll be in trouble for that one.)
I hear their pain. It’s a bitch, I can see that. But they are only as helpless as they allow themselves to be. I am sorry they discovered a character flaw in their loved ones after they fell in love, but I don’t feel sorry for them when they CHOOSE to stay. (Ya, I know it’s not easy to walk when you have children, that’s what attorneys are for.)
How much clearer can I make it? If you are better off without your WoW Addict than with him (or her), GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP. They have nothing to offer you.
As an aside, if your WoW Addict is willing to forsake you for pixels, he (or she) is not that into you. Why would you wanna be with someone that’s not into you? Fuck that, leave your shit behind and WALK OUT.
Since you brought me into this convo, I, myself, have walked out, leaving my shit behind, many times. I had to involve attorneys two times. (Not divorces, other “issues”) I know of which I speak.
In the EQ days, my play time was much, much higher. Back then, I was just out of school and couldn’t afford much in the way of entertainment while I was building my post-college career. Now, as I’ve said, I can afford better and my play time is lower.
It’s worth noting that Warcraft requires much less time to be at the top of your game than EQ did. (Obviously, for some players, the time requirement is still too high.) I hope the next gen of MMOGs has even more to offer for casual players — game design itself also has some responsibility here, in my opinion.
Meh, game play is like anything — moderation is the way to go.
p.s. @ Unbeliever — that this post and its comments will be my legacy is an irony not lost on me. This could only get better if I opened an expensive game addiction treatment clinic.
Hi everyone
My name is Karolina and I work at a UK based television company ITV.
We’re currently making an edition of news and current affairs programme Tonight with Trevor McDonald regarding the affects of playing MMORPG’s.
We’re currently looking for programme contributors who have been affected aversely by MMORPG’s.
Are you married to a gamer and describe yourself as a gaming widow? Are you the parent of a gamer? Are you an ex-gamer?
If you are happy to share your story you could help other people in the same situation realise they are not alone.
In the first instance please email me on
karolina.mottram@itv.com
Thanks for reading and hope to hear from you soon.
This thread delivers.
p.s. Eight months today, still tempted as ever to go say hi to my dwarf priest.
31 year-old player of WoW and pseudomother/girlfriend of a Tier III gulild leader account sharing pain-in-the-butt Night Elf Rogue 60.
I sympathize with the WoW widows and assure them that at least in the state of California; gaming is an acceptable excuse for divorice and cybersex does count offically as cheating.
My mates account was hacked a few days back and his precious was stripped of all his fancy gear and then deleted. I was upset for him; but at the same time I was also saying to him this;
“Honey maybe we can..you know..take a break from WoW..go outside..exercise..go swimming..its summer out there you know?”
Results of his constant gaming?
1. Fungal infection on the inside of his thighs from sitting too much.
2.Pinoidal Cyst on his tailbone from sitting all the time (image a huge swollen boil of unhealing necrotic flesh that has to be drained daily)
3.An online God Complex that has resulted in him being banned twice from two computer gaming systems.
4.Him spending our phone/cable money on more video games and 1000 credit bill at the local tech shoppe.
Girls..girls..get out while you still can. These guys are not good daddy material. Give em ten more years and watch what happens when their young man metabolisms kick off.
My wife is a World of Warcrack-ho, she used to be an EverCrack ho. We have a convenient point system, when my wife wants me to watch the children so she can raid, she needs to bank some nookie points in advance. It is a great system. I even upgraded her computer last month, an awesome investment for a husband, like having a sex vending machine in the living room! We do work to keep things balanced, which includes having a real life that exceeds her on-line fantasy life. That meant joining a BDSM dungeon where we can play villian and victim in front of other freaks. Nothing like a good flogging in front of your friends, sometimes they even join to double top. My point is that you can work to keep both real life and WoW life exciting, talk to each other, be supportive of your partner’s fantasies, but don’t be a doormat — hold out for regular payback. (p.s. she plays on Stormrage)
My boyfriend is addicted to WoW. He comes home and plays until he goes to bed, even eating at the computer. On the weekends, he gets up, flips on the coffee maker, and then flips on the computer to play until he goes to the bed. Both of us work full-time, but I might as well say I work two full-time jobs because I cook, clean, and take care of everything around the house.
I used to game, including WoW. I don’t care too much for WoW, as it is a time sink and I think there’s more to life than WoW. I have nothing against gaming, but when the person does nothing but game and neglects everything else, something is wrong. He insists I hate WoW because it’s something he loves; I’ve always supported and encouraged his gaming habit, but when he freaks when we go to a 90-minute movie or a BBQ at a friends’ house for a few hours because he won’t be able to game until later…what’s a girl to do?
From what I’m told, I’m attractive and have a great sense of humor. I am educated and give my man all that he needs—including bringing home the beer and being happy he hangs out with the guys, but he doesn’t even do that anymore.
Any advice?
This is so great - to find out that me and three of my friends are not alone in this wow widow world. I have been laughing out loud reading the debate here, because all the stories are so familiar to me. I see my husband and myself in these stories - and I have been sending them to him hoping that he will realise that he has a problem.
I feel for so many of you that have commented. When I met my BF, he was NOT a “gamer” or so he claimed. When he said he heard about this WoW game, got a free trial and was going to try it out, I had no idea that it would consume him that way it did. He kept saying that he was NOT a gamer and not to worry. Well, that has changed in a big way. My BF and I live far apart so I thought if it kept him busy and away from mindless web surfing/nude female photo sites (haha!) well, maybe I could deal with it.
In the beginning, I tried getting involved with him in WoW to show an active interest and support in something we could do together, but I was quickly left in the dust. I felt he wanted to do it alone, so I gave up trying.
He is obsessed and in denial about his WoW addiction. He tries to convince me that spending 12 hours on days off and 5 hrs on the days that he works is very normal. I am told that if we lived together things would be different (I am too smart for that) and he would not be on the game all of the time. I am told that his “groups” on WoW are just friends that have innocently progressed from screen IM contacts to real time chats that of coarse- only discuss the quests they embark on as a group. This is now a requirement to play, ya know. Yeah, right.
What really gets me is how he makes light of the fantasy land that WoW is known for. Like those WoW pets; the ones that Mieka so appropriately described, “Wow “pet”, an s&m sort of character in skimpy leatherwear who whipped herself and said “ooh!” when she was bored….go on, masturbate over that you fucking nerd.” I hear them when I call my BF and he refers to them as “Very sexy creatures” and then goes on to describe why he thinks they are sexy. Ewww! That comment has always made me wonder about him. Pixels are now hotter than real human flesh apparently.
If I bring up any of this, he thinks I am trying to start a fight and will not talk about it. He is defensive about the game, the time he spends on it and his role in it. He rarely talks about this game that clearly takes up more of his time than I ever have.
Finally, I have had it with our phone calls.
1. I am lucky to get to talk to him free of the game, if at all
2. Talk time is limited because of the game (I have to listen to fighting in the background the entire time)
3. He stays up very late on work nights on this game and then is too tired at work and is grumpy to me on the phone the next day.
4. He is seemingly becoming more uninvolved in my life every day. I can’t even keep him on the phone long enough to tell him about a job offer that would ultimately effect us for a long time. I used to be able to bounce things off of him, at any time… b4 the game.
Guys always say they wish that their girlfriend/wife would have told him their was a problem before they left. Listen up guys…this game thing can be a real problem. It sucks the life out of your relationships-period. Don’t get mad at your girlfriend if she has a concern about that game or any game for that matter that consumes half of your life but rather ~ take notes. It could be a clear warning that it is the beginning of the end.
Happy Gaming
This is interesting reading, even though it is very old.
My husband works for Blizzard and helped design WoW and before you go blasting my head off, we lead a very normal life and have a great marriage, game and all.
It really is about the person playing, not the game itself. I dated someone who I left because HE did not leave the game for love or sex or time with me, whereas my husband, who WORKS there, actually does.
Everyone is too quick to blame the game when it is the player’s fault. And I’d rather have my husband on the PC where I know what he is up to rather than out at a bar doing lord knows what.
I actually agree with Foton 100% and yes I am married and know what a real relationship is.
Very well said Hilly. I tend to liken my guy and his love for WoW to stereotype gamers but you are right, it is about the guy, not about the game.
Im a a Warcraft Widow. I tryed to play it but i does not excite me enough for me to play for more than an hour at a time. My Boyfriend of 4 years who used to play every night for at least 5 hours have come to an arrangement. Just like with my sport - hockey, I practice twice a week and place one game a weekend. I have told him that it’s only fair he does the same. This compromise came about about after an argument about him being lazy and sitting on the PC all day - I told him that WOW is not a sport and his charcter running to ironforge does not count as exercise. He then turned against me and told me that Due to WOW having a set of rules it’s qualifies as a sport.
So i then suggested - if he thinks its a sport thats fine. but he can practice twice and play once. and thats it otherwise he will burn out. HE had no comeback to that one! Try it Girls.
My fiancee just left me a couple weeks ago for a guy she met on WoW.
We were having problems in our relationship and i got a new job in another state so i suggested I go out a little before her so i could get settled and think about the relationship.
Apparently during this time is when she got fully addicted.
The 2 of them have met twice now that I know of.
I’m doing my best to get over the relationship.
She keeps lying to me, telling me she’s still unsure of what she’s doing.
She still hasn’t even told me the guy was from WoW, she made up some other story- but it’s pretty obvious that that is where they met, she plays a good 10 hours a day. She wouldn’t play with me when I tried to join the game.
As much as I know she’s not worth it this break up is tearing me apart. Our relationship was on rocky ground but I really wanted to work at it. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, my house is uncomfortable to be in. I’ve been trying not to let my rage out over this situation- as my rage can get pretty bad. I think I’m going to have to let myself get angry in order to get on with my life.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. We are both in college, but he goes to a college that is 8 hours away from mine. It sucks, but we talk on the phone every night, so it keeps the relationship alive. This is our first summer home together and almost every night, he plays WoW. He just made it to level 60 and I tried to be happy for him… but what I did not realize is that once you reach level 60, the game becomes more addicting. It seems like every time i call him at night hoping to spend some quality time talking..he says that I called him right in the middle of a raid or he’s really busy with the game right now. It’s frustrating! I can’t be angry with him because he doesn’t play THAT much and it is not destroying our relationship… but what I HATE about the game is that it NEVER ENDS!! you cannot even pause the game when you are in a raid to spend some time talking to your s/o. When I tell him that i am jealous of the game and that i wished that he did other things than be on the computer, like hang out with friends, he just says that he IS hanging out with them and talking to them. UGH! we always fight about this game. I wish that there was a Final goal to reach and then it would be over. IT JUST NEVER ENDS.
I have to make a public apology to my BF. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I over dramatized our situation. Part of me is worried about how much time he is gaming and how the game provides a mental escape like any other addiction can. However, we have talked, his head is in the right place and I trust him completely. I am confident that he would never let WoW ruin our relationship. It truely is about the person and not about the game.
Wow (no, that was not a reference to the life-sucking game that apparently we all are affected by, but my actual reaction) I typed in “girlfriend support group world of warcraft” into google kind of as a joke because I was a little upset that my boyfriend choses to play W.O.W instead of talk to me. But after reading your stories I was instantly humbled. My heart goes out to all of you because if I was upset over him just not calling me back I can’t imagine how I would handle being completely passed over night after night. Were your significant others always like that and you just tried to accept it as part of him? Or did it just get slowly worse?
It definitely got worse as time went on.
Me going away for a month (during the move) made it go from a bad situation to an incurable one.
Hate wasting so much time having to deal with the physical side effects of finding out that someone I used to live with was so detached from reality that she couldn’t be honest with me or herself & couldn’t distinguish the real world from the fantasy game.
Lots of feelings of betrayal there- might be a while before I can trust someone, tho I’m pretty sure she’s just insane.
What made it worse was the way she left too: she berated me repeatedly in the months leading up to her final week or 2, when the beratement and criticism reached an alltime high (guess she had to convince herself she was justified).
She let me go on thinking for weeks that I really had a chance to get her back and that she was only “figuring her life out” at a relative’s house, when in reality she stayed with him a week before moving in with her uncle- pretty close to where the other guy lives.
Hopefully karma will come back on her. I’m so ready to move on.
I don’t mind a video game or two now and then, especially playing as a couple, but to play to the exclusion of the relationship is a serious breakdown of communication.
Look ladies, every guy or girl knows what they’re getting into with this game (it was rated 9.5/10 in the first place). I’m strangely on the other end of the equation here. I choose to play because my girlfriends just not around enough, she makes it harder for me by paying less attention, it’s a trick that works well, even I feel she has a heart of stone sometimes.
I’m not suggesting you go playing mind games (we’re not that blind) but I do suggest you elevate yourselves a bit from blaming anything for the fact your fella or girl has a good taste in games & in most cases (suggesting all cases are less-social geek types) finds it a way of expressing themselves socially where they can be the socialite they see in the movies (let’s face it, who is).
Back to the real reason i posted, rose you’re not that smart (as you put it) as i’d change if my girl asked me to move in with her, i see you’ve responded now to your earlier comment but it only adds that if you trust someone, you do just that.. so he’ll change, trust him? I’m sorry to say this but it’s these little ticks that grind us (pardon the pun), if you already think low of someone in not believing there claims and making them feel bad (yep, it happens) how do expect any respect other than a middle finger in the form of ignoring you (WoW time).. bottom line, don’t treat a man like a kid or he’ll fit the role perfectly!
Unfortunately I’m a game addict & choose not to present stats as I could read them off the net anywhere and blag this (cue boasting pj man ‘Steve’, reminds me of the chewleaves gum guy on clerks) besides my daily brain age sessions’ about to begin and I’ve given up on this pointless excuse to pass time while the servers are down
mike- that’s probly coz she’s cheating on you. take it from someone who knows.
BTW- My situation was made worse by the fact that my ex was working 12 hour night shifts 3 nights a week at a hospital. Our schedules were completely different, which really didn’t let us spend a whole lot of time together anyway.
Sounds rough & you’re probably right but to be honest if she was cheating she would’ve been gone 3 years back.
You see it’s a bit of a racial thing so let me just be a random white guy & get on with my nerdy game instead of learning chinese & trying to fit in.
Anyway, I ask her up-front about stuff all the time & if she’s lying then why the hell is she still here? It’s not like I’m rich or anything, should I choose to ignore her word that she loves me & misses me because she chooses not to take 2 hours worth of travel to see me and watch godawful big brother with her sisters instead
And yep, I gave the impression she was stonecold but she occassional stitches my shirts or makes random little things for me. One last thing, it’s rare to see my own faults but I think this thread’s been disrupted enough & apologise to anyone I attempted to criticise. I’m no expert, no-one is.
Uh, Dr. Phil…I mean Mike, You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about when it comes to me, my post, my relationship, why I reposted, anyone else on this post and/or your own posts. This is supposed to be a place to vent frustration, not seek relationship counseling from an apparent novice….it’s these little ticks that grind me. On that note ~ your not that smart (as I put it). Relationships 101: Don’t ever underestimate a woman. All women are different but their are those women that can ’stay’ for a variety of unexplained reasons, even while cheating. It doesn’t mean that her man is all that or even that she is in love with him. They can and do lie. Some are down right evil. Every relationship is different. Pay attention to your own as “I’m no expert, no-one is”.
Eric ~ I am sorry about your situation. It does suck and it was not cool. I, too, worked similar shifts and it is hard to have any kind of a life when you work those hours. I am assuming your fiancee is a nurse? If so, nursing is a very hard job that is both mentally and physically taxing. It can take a toll on your brain as well as your relationship. It did in my last relationship. I’m not sure if you were with her when she first became a nurse, but over time-the extreme highs and lows, along with all the responsibilities and expectations that nurses deal with, will make you a different person. Thank goodness that my BF deals with similar highs and lows at his job too, so he understands when I need to come home and just drop.
That’s where the WoW game thing comes in to play or any game for that matter. It’s all about balance or a relationship can suffer-even if there is loads of trust. You definitely need to make time for each other, on a regular basis and it sounds like your situation was a real challenge in that area:(
You said that you moved out of state for a job? How often do you come home? Maybe you could move and just give it some time? Including some time for yourself.
*Note* I am not a counselor, I just play one on tv
You’re right, she is/was a nurse- taking time off now i guess to work at a casino so she can pay bills (don’t ask me what all that’s about; she said something about wearing skimpy skirts).
I moved from maryland to texas at the end of march. she moved to join me 1 month later, coming out to see me at the 2 or 3 week point as well. I’m assuming in that month she really started talking to the guy. the first week here she did nothing but play and sleep, taking quick breaks to eat. i think she must’ve snapped. i dunno.
I’m a little curious at how long the lying was going on- only in the context of wondering if I should be worried about an std or something. She was acting very weird for a long time. went from wanting to be a mommy asap to not wanting kids. I was thinking maybe HPV.
Luckily I have some very good friends around here and I’ve had the support I need to move on. I still have some physical remnants of all the betrayal: woke up with chills this morning (and most mornings), had an anxiety attack over getting the locks changed yesterday, still don’t have much of an appetite, and have lost almost 30 pounds so far.
Our relationship was going bad for a long time but I’ve never had anyone lie to me this much or had anyone intentionally damage my psyche like this (she said a lot of stuff before she left and before I knew what she was doin). This whole experience feels very similar to the time I went to Vegas and was hustled constantly and even had my room robbed.
She’s about the last thing I wanna think about anymore. I have fully accepted how done she was with the situation and know that she’d never indulge in anything like guilt, remorse, or genuine interest in my well being.
It’s time for me to find somebody worth my time; or at least time to find somebody to have fun with. I just pray to God that I find some justice in this situation, or at the very least- a clean bill of health.
I don’t want to move out of Fort Worth, I do like it here. I wish breaking my lease was more of an option. I think a weekend trip to Austin, Houston, or San Antonio would be fun- maybe next week. This weekend I have a good friend coming up to visit and we’re going to kick around all over DFW.
Wish me luck.
Lesson 102: Don’t get a bird like rose
and thanks for all the cheating propaganda you guys it’s nice to know we’re all negative creeps out here, I mean if you’re so negative in the first place why not just come to terms that if you can’t keep yourself happy it’s just not time for a relationship.
Anyway rose, if you smartened up & took your head out of your arse you’d realise i’m calling you a hypocrite. When i said ‘you’re’ not too smart i mean you’ve got to trust someone if they say they’re going to change within a different environment (you’re too smart for that right).
mike-
you’re definitely right about that. I’ve decided to give up on the idea of finding someone else. Screw that. I’m hurting over this thing pretty seriously. I’m not ready to move on. I need to heal up some more first; live life on my own for a while till it gets somewhat normal.
I refuse to go through the hurt and the pain that has been explored on this site. It has been made pretty clear that this addiction is not something to take lightly and for good reason. Beautiful relationships have been destroyed because not enough value was placed on the other person because she/he were to busy playing a GAME! I’m dealing with this situation right now. I have no problem with my boyfriend having fun playing W.O.W, but when he chooses that game over me then I think I have a right to demand change. I know some guys out there justify extensive game use with the “maybe you’re just a bad girlfriend” argument and you know what, you guys maybe right. Maybe I am insensitive, demanding, high maintanence, and controling. Well if thats the case then my boyfriend will be better off without me so that he can go off and fing someone else that shares the same bizzare fascination with a virtual reality world. But I refuse to come second to a game for much longer. My boyfriend right now is my third priority in my life (behind my religion and my family) and I would drop almost anything to be able to see him. Especially now because I’ll be leaving for college soon and won’t be able to see him for months. I think i deserve someone who values me just as much as i value him. I’m drawing the line tonight.
meh. I was going to respond to Mike, but I am too lazy.
Thanks good I found this site. This WOW shit has overwhelmed me since the first day my husband started into raids. He left school (4th year engineering) just for that stupid game. I never opposed to the idea of playing, he started playing 2 days a week (16 hours) and now he is practically stick on the computer everytime. So, Yesterday he was at a raid and I asked him for a divorce. I can’t stand this anymore. At least I know that I’m not alone. Life go on.
After reading some of these posts, I thought I’d respond to the argument that this game doesn’t make your bf or gf an addict or create problems; the problems were already there. I disagree. Prior to my boyfriend playing WoW, he did get up and go places with me. This game is like crack; I don’t care what anyone says.
Because of the time required to play this game (I’ve played it before and thought it was a huge time sink) and the loyalty to guild members, WoW creates an alternate world that soon becomes reality for some. What happened to the days when guys would go out and enjoy the outdoors? (Girls, too, as video games are not strictly a male hobby.) It seems that people can conquer the world with a joystick or they can venture to other worlds without having to move a muscle.
I think that’s sad, actually.
How much longer can I wait? My boyfriend focuses so much time on this game that if I left and came back four hours later, he would think I was only gone for twenty minutes.
I’m worried because the expansion pack is coming out soon, which means less communication and any hope of spending time with him. I am beginning to feel I come second to a game as well.
Johanna -
What you are feeling is completely valid, but you have been misled. You CAN pause the game (it’s just that players choose not to - they are playing with other people who are all dependent on one another to accomplish a goal. People that are not, of course, the wives, husbands, children or other family members who may depend on some attention and help). The game CAN end - whenever the player chooses to stop playing. But of course we know it isn’t that simple. I hadn’t seen my husband in over a week. What he did when he got back was give me a quick kiss and go off to the computer. WoW has officially had more face-time in the last month than I have. And it is his choice. For us to have to be more interesting than a video game where there are no real consequences (even death, for example, is something you recover from in 5 minutes or less), is an unrealistic expectation. I feel as though the game is being chosen over our 4 month marriage, and to any RPG players out there who feel that their wives have to be a satisfying enough alternative to a world that doesn’t expect any more of you than to devote hours on end to its neverending wonderland of pixelly stimuli, get help. Or get out.
For the record, I was a level 30 hunter - I tried for so long to play the game as something we could do together. The problem was that it started to take over my life - I wasn’t eating, exercising, or sleeping regularly. When I decreased the time I spent playing in pursuit of more cerebrally-stimulating tasks such as writing and reading, my husband advanced in level and left me in the dust - suddenly, it was too boring to play with me. Eventually, it was too boring to do anything with me. If he ultimately chooses the game over me, it is not I that am the sad one. It will be he that is pathetic and lonely.
I am losing my wife of 15 years to Warcrack. I wish I knew what to do. But I don’t. I hate this game with such a passion… and yes to all you fools who think that just playing the game with her would make things better… I tried… The game sucks the life out of you… and I would rather live in reality and be with my beautiful kids. I found that if I sat down to play for just a half an hour, I’d get up and sometimes 3 or 4 hours would had passed. I couldn’t continue to lose that much of my life especially when I spend 50 hours a week working. And when she did play with me she would get mad because I wasn’t as good at playing as her new best friends online, the evil guildies. She is a stay at home mom so she had all day to sit around and level up. I quickly fell behind. I’d come home to a trashed house and no dinner before she finally made it to level 60 and I pointed out to her that she had spent 838 hours getting to level 60. That was just one character in a period of about 5 months. She has a number of other characters that’s she’s spent tons of time on too.
She ignores me every night… I who still find her sooo beautiful and would love to make love to her every night… or even just give her massage… anything to be with her… she ignores the kids and when they joke about her addiction she actually accuses me of implanting the ideas in their head. As if they’re too stupid to see it for themselves. I think they can remember trying to go see fireworks on the 4th of July and having to sit in the car while mom tried to finish a raid… and then when she did come with us… she was all pouting cause we made her leave right at the boss. My eight year old actually drew a comic strip about a video game taking over the world by brainwashing people… and in the last frame he points out that the game’s name is Warcraft.
I’ve tried talking to her about it and she did scale back her gaming to a degree, at first. But now it’s back to every night. I go to bed alone every night. She sometimes tries to make it up to me in the mornings… but I feel like an afterthought… like she’s just doing it to keep playing the game.
We’ve been married for 15 years and I love her more than ever. I want to grow old and die at the same time as her. But she posted her picture up on her guild website so all the boys could see how hot she was. That’s when she really started to shut me out of the game… cause she didn’t want me on her guild chat. The more I complain to her about it the further away she goes from me… but then if I don’t say anything she will just get further into the game.
I started writing this yesterday… and this last weekend was especially hard for me as my grandmother passed away and her funeral was on Saturday… well Friday night was a raid… Saturday night was another raid… and Sunday I was completely blown off before even dinner so she could… you guessed it… do another raid. A period where I needed her love the most, the raids were more important.
Well last night.. came home.. and you guessed it… another fucking raid! After she had been playing for almost 3 hours I finally asked her if she was going to be on there all night again… and then I just blew up as she started laughing at me… like I was some kind of fool. And did she get off then and deal with her crumbling marriage? No! She stayed on there for another 45 minutes until she could finish the stupid quest that she was on. Beware of this game. Totally f’ing evil. For what it’s worth… my wife has played a few other games… but none has ever caused this much pain.. this much alienation… She played the hell out of Final Fantasy. She uses the same excuse as all these other people… that she hardly ever gets to play.. that it’s just a fun thing to do. Totalling up all the hours from all her characters shows that she’s spent more time on the game since she bought it than I have spent at work… yet she “hardly gets to play.” That my is a serious addiction. I’ve asked her to go get help… but I don’t think she’s going to. In the meantime, I’m moving into the guest room tonight.
My boyfriend plays WoW, Dota, and any other game you could possibly think of. He plays for hours and hours on end, to the point where I only see him 1-2 nights a week (usually weekends) despite the fact that I live about 5 miles away from him. It is ridiculous that a game (or several games) can dominate your life so exclusively. It is downright sad that I’ve considered leaving not only the relationship, but the state, more times than I can count. Every time I mention leaving, he gets upset and asks me to stay. Things will get better for a day, and then degenerates rapidly into another gaming orgy. He loves me, but he loves his games more. Could I leave him? Yes, but not easily. I remember what he was like BW- Before WoW. When he would drive a couple hours to go visit me at school, or call me randomly to do something.
To those people who are telling us to stop our complaining, that it isn’t as if games are to blame and it isn’t as if WoW killed our SOs, I issue a challenge. If your SO went shopping, or drinking, or gambling, or or waxed their cars, or went to strip clubs, or obsessed about ANY ONE activity for 4 or 6 or 10 hours a day, wouldn’t you react like us? It shows a lack of depth that someone will do something exclusively to the detriment of their real lives. Variety is what keeps people healthy. If you want to play a game, fine, but a game shouldn’t take over RL. It shouldn’t be in such large amounts that your SO spends 80% of their free time alone, just because you wont budge from your computer desk. Yes, there are educational games, yes, games can be fun. I doubt that anyone here would argue that all games are hideously evil. We’re arguing that the amount of time spent on these games is hideously evil. All we want is our lives back as they were BW….Before WoW. Don’t judge us until you’ve lost everything because of someone’s addiction to a specific activity.
Just checking in.
Life’s gotten a LOT better. Been talking to a prospective new “miss right” (though still fielding candidates hehe). Going outta town for a week. Things are definitely looking up.
So nice not to have to base my life around trying to capture the attention of someone who’s just not into it. I think many of you people still suffering through someone ignoring you could definitely benefit by giving your SOs a wakeup call or by giving them the boot. If their addiction is stronger than the threat of divorce papers, then they’re reall not in the relationship anymore anyway.
Sad thing is that I do like to game too, but no more than an hour or 2 a night; unless it’s a really slow weekend.
Still a lil tough filling that big hole in my life, as I don’t know many people in my town, but I’ll get there.
Good luck everybody
My (ex) boyfriend started playing WoW when he split up with his exgirlfriend and was between jobs for a little while. He still played at night and on weekends after he started his new job he’d often raif til 2am and then drag himself out of bed for work a few hours later. I always told him to get to bed earlier but he wouldn’t listen.
Anyway, he moved interstate a month ago, where he didn’t know many people, so he spent lots of time raiding. I was so excited to be visiting him for 4 days, but he told me prior to the visit that he’d be raiding on one of those nights, and told me I was being unreasonable becuase I expected him to be excited after not having seen me for a month, and wanting him to focus his attentions on me rather than some stupid game. So I told him that I was going to change my travel plans, or stay with a friend. The day of my trip came around, and of course I wanted to see him, so he picked me up from the airport. No kiss, no hug, no ‘I’ve missed you’, nothing. We got back to his place and he started swearing because he’d been kicked out of the queue. He got back in line while I finished some work. I told him I didn’t go there to watch him playing at his computer. Anyway, he sat down, in his computer chair with his headset on, completely oblivious to the fact that I’d packed my things and left for my friends place. It was almost 2 hours later til he even realised I was gone.
I was so sick of being neglected, ignored for some stupid game, I ended it. He knew exactly how I felt, he cancelled his accounts the next day but as far as I am concerned it was too little too late.
So, WoW ruined our relationship, as a couple and as friends. I can’t believe what it got to before he could see the light. It is a very dangerous and addictive vice. He used to say it was better than him out it a gutter on drugs or stealing cars.. but I really think it’s much much worse.
I’m devastated and how I could have lost him to something that itsn’t even real.
I have a husband and he plays this game. He works 12 hours shifts 3 to 4 days a week. He comes home, takes a shower, turns on his game and is there for the rest of the night. God forbid I say anything about his game play. Its what he likes to do. He is getting fat. He sits there like nothing is wrong. He eats at his computer, drinks his beers and plays his game. From the time he gets home he is on WoW. We have had several fights about him playing. Ya know, I dont care that he plays it, its the ammount that he plays. I find myself sitting in the other room as he clicks and types away. I feel so distant from him. He talks about these “special items” that he can sell, or level up. I dont give a crap about them. I tell him I dont want to hear about it. I dont want to be included in any conversation about this game. I can not give him satisfaction of talking to me about what he does in that game. I simply can not go to that level. I have thought about leaving him because of his game play. But what is that going to do for me. I love him. I dont want to be without him, but really, what do I have right now… nothing. He tells me that if I had a hobby I wouldnt bitch about the game. If I had something to do that I liked, his gaming wouldnt bother me, but I beg to differ. I hate the person that he has become. We dont have sex as much as we used to. He is always “tired”. I even think he peels his contacts off his eyeballs at the end of his sessions. What are women like me supposed to do. We love these men, but they have soemthing that they like to do better than us. Is there any hope for us. Can i pray that he gets bored with this game. The last thing I said about this game was that I would “torch his computer”. I would light that bastard on fire and dance naked around it. I would laugh like the devil and enjoy every moment. Then you could read the obituary in my local paper about me. Ohh but it would be a sweet death!
Hi all,
I played WoW for about a month and stopped. I’ve done the hardcore gaming thing before (in university) but I guess I just grew up somewhere along the line. I generally don’t find games as interesting anymore.
I have to agree with the person above and say that many of the people who play this kind of game have unresolved issues about real life and are unhappy with their jobs/relationships/life in general. I know this from experience.
My advice to those of you who are in a relationship with somebody in this spot is: do NOT waste your time. I’m not saying “leave them”, I’m saying, don’t procrastinate and don’t mess around. Figure out what you need from the relationship, whether it is time, or attention, or (my guess) genuine interest. Let them know exactly how unhappy you are without blaming, tell them that you can only handle them gaming X much hours a week (ideally the two of you can discuss this), otherwise you will be forced to leave. And stick to it. If they don’t follow the plan you’ve worked out… GO.
Life is too short to waste your time on somebody who for whatever reason is not supplying you with the love you need.
I know, they are really wonderful people on the inside - you are right - the saddest thing about their addiction is that it is covering up a wonderful person. But it is their issue and nothing you can do, believe me, is going to fix it for them. They have to know that their life is off-balance and want to change. I’ve been there.
You need more than this and you WILL get it if you do what is necessary.
PS. To those of you in committed relationships, with marriages or children, I am deeply sorry. Obviously you will want to put as much as you can into getting them out. But again… don’t waste your time. Do it now.
Hi all,
I think it’s strange how “embaressed” people are by the whole fessing up thing. Speaking from my own experience, there’s no doubt that computer games ARE addictive, but no-one outside of a handful of forums treats them as such. You have all the same things associated with drugs/alcohol. Eg, obsessive behaviour, poor sleep patterns, poor diet, not bothering to shower/brush teeth, dishonesty concerning usage, ignoring social obligations and on and on… I used to play compulsively - not Wow, or Everquest but this stupid old game called Rise of Rome. Been clean for 2 weeks so far, but at times the desire to get back online, download the game, is OVERWHELMING - like being beside a powerful magnet. Anyway, wish me luck!
I’ve set up this website called optimalwebsite.co.uk to help new businesses set up online and am pouring my time into this… Hopefully this will occupy my time and be successful.
Kind regards
It is so therapuetic to have found this webiste and find out that I am not alone. My story is the same. I’ve been married one year. My husband started playing WOW 8 months ago. He works a full-time job as a Programmer and then spends 40 to 60 hours playing that studip damn WOW game. I am also smart enough not to take this personally. But I have nonetheless lost my husband to this game. I’ve moved out temporarily on several occassions…and guess what…that just allows him to play WOW guilt free. It’s clear this obsession is not going to end anytime soon. It’s like they have been brain washed or are in a transe or something…they are just crazy. I also have no problem with gaming. It’s the amount of time and the fact that EVERYTHING else suffers for it. There is also no reasoning with thim. They are obsessed! How long are we supposed to hang around before we see if they are going to come out of the WOW transe? Maybe we need to start a social club for all the WOW widows and widowers out there!!!!!!!
I just discovered this site and I gotta say, “Amen Amen Amen!” to Mieka’s Feb. comment! I have a hubby who is totally engrossed in WoW and had I known he was this obsessive I would have thought twice about marrying him. Actually, if he had been playing this while we were dating I would have probably dropped his ass! Sadly, three years into our marriage he discovered WOW. And now we have a two-month old…no leaving now…To all you girlfriends out there thinking marriage with a wow gamer…DON’T DO IT! HE WON’T CHANGE HIS WAYS!!
What’s worse is not only my husband into the game but his bro too so when we get together that’s all they talk about!! How nauseating that the only conversation two brothers can have is about a dumb game! I get so fed up with him cussing about how he has to run all the way back to his body from the graveyard when he dies. So what!! Log off already and do something productive! Get another hobby! Do me if you’re that bored! Why are you taking your baby’s formula and diaper money to pay for your stupid subscription when you get so irritated at the server lag or you can’t get the right dragon you want or you need more gold or you have to do lots of traveling on your feet cuz you don’t have level 40 transportation!! It actually makes me cringe inside when he plops down on the couch next to me to discuss how his WOW characters are doing…AS IF I CARE YOU MORON!
Man this is therapeutic! I’ve never really gotten it out before.
But it’s not all bad…he does take small breaks here and there, though I cannot understand why he would choose to come home straight from work where he spends eight hours staring at computer screens to do the same with this game. He works from 5am to 1:30 then comes home, eats lunch. Logs on at around 2:00 (and that’s stretching it) and spends the rest of the day “grinding” till 9pm. Needless to say he likes to stay in his cave and is somewhat anti-social not to mention very pasty white. I always thought these nerd gamers were overweight ugly pimply boys…my man looks good, great body…though he is whiter than he should be…and guess what, I put bronzer on him so that it looks like he gets out in the sun! (Hope you’re reading this babe)
And about the sex thing - there have been times when I have been turned down cuz he’s on some dumb ass quest and he can’t let his crew or whatever the hell they’re called down!
Excuse me! You don’t even know these people! You’d turn down sex with me to see these people through some dumb quest for a piece of armor or something! Give me a break!
I do wish someone would send a really bad virus to all the WoW servers so that all these people would have to stop playing or something! Maybe they would actually find a life!!!
Thank you all for letting me speak my peace…I think I shall do it more frequently on here.
Goddam!
Nearly 3 weeks now! Clean as a whistle! Woohoo! Go me! Nearly had a relapse earlier but I’m alright!!!! Rock on my website/business. http://www.optimalwebsite.co.uk - had a query from ebay (2 actually) and hopefully will be able to convert it to a sale… just got to figure out how to build a webshop…. it’ll be my first one but I wont tell the client that!!!
hehehehe!!!
Joel
What can I say about WarCraft? Do not get me wrong, I like it. I havw played it. I understand its appeal. But let me tell you a story about my partner. He is 50 years old and has been unemployed for the past year and a half. And even before that his employment record has been spotty since the beginning of 2003. I know he has issues, primarily ADD-related. I have tried to be as supportive as I know how to be. I am paying the bills, I have signed the loan to send him back to school for retraining, I am paying for ADD therapy/coaching to help give him structure. In short, I am doing everything I can.
When he started ADD therpay/coaching he had promised that he had given WarCraft up. That was one of my conditions. He even had me change the password on his account. I was willing to give it a go. I wanted to believe. Well, maybe two months went by and I found out the game was reinstalled. So I talked to him about it, I talked to the therapist/coach about it. The three of us talked about it. He promised again to give it up. This time, I thought maybe I was not there enough. So, I made a point of spending more time with him. We watched movies at night. I make sure we did fun things on the weekends, I tried to be there for him and distract him from the game. But, this was not enough. Tonight, I found it reinstalled again. How long did he give it up for this time? No idea. But it was reinstalled three weeks ago.
If he was doing well in school, that would be one thing, I think I could somehow figure out a way to live with this problem. But, he is not doing well. It has been two or so months since he passed he last certification test. Tonight, he told me the problem was that the school was not good enough. After all, it is only a Microsoft Gold Training Partner and the damn school only costs USD15,000.
In short, he is throwing his life down the tubes. I will not mention the collection agencies after him (I thank God we are not married, he is not on the apartment lease, that our money is separate). I am scared for him because I love him. And, I am scared, in spite of the coaching, the school, and all the support I try to give, that it is will never be enough. I am scared he will end up living underneath a bridge trying to find an electric outlet so he can plug in a compter and play some more WarCraft.
I have done some reading I understand this is an addiction. I have read studies that mention the increased levels of dopamine in the brain that hard-core gaming can produce. I have read studies that indicate that ADD people have a dopamine deficiency. I think WarCraft and him somehow have created the proverbial perfect storm. But, like all addictions, this is destroying him.
While, I know many of his present problems are not because of WarCraft, It sure as Hell has not helped. Tonight, I am hesrtbroken. Thanks for listening.
Plantain - I drew this pic a while back as an expression of my frustration!
oops, codes don’t work. Here’s the link: http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b390/beccr216/blowup.jpg
Am I addicted to WoW? Well, perhaps. I usually spend about 15 hours a week playing (roughly 2-3 hours a day for about 5 days a week). It’s fun, it’s a hobby. But let me say this: I guaran-damn-tee you that if my wife paid even the slightest attention to me in the first place, or even still, and remotely showed affection (not sex, just genuine loving and caring - you can see that, or lack thereof, in your eyes and facial expressions) that I’d hop right off or not get on at all. BUT, when all I get is yelled at for anything and everything under the sun?
Yeah, what would you choose? Yelled at…or not…?
Oh my God!! just found you all here so..I am not alone in this frustrating World Of Wasters and thats mild because I wont resort to swearing on the forum. Seven years he has been telling me he is going to cool it down. He sells his characters and gets rid of the game only to re-instate WOW or some other online crap.Dont get me wrong its his bag an all that but get a life man and give me mine we have not had a night out for years he has an excuse all the time.Truth is he is too engrossed in his online gaming.I come home from work clean and cook and sort out washing and kids etc, him.. straight on the PC playin WoW.What makes me laugh is when I walk in the room he somtimes minimises it in his task bar pretending he is checking work emails. Do you men think we are so stupid. The other day his online virtual pal phoned him and asked where they were going to meet which confused the hell out of me as he lives on the other side of the world but hey… here we go they meet in thier virtual world on bloody warcraft AAARGH. I cant stand it he sits there day in day out sweating looking like a complete boffin it worries me cause I want to suffocate him and my friends say this worries them that I may need help, well as far as I am concerned he needs help or he will with the kids when I leave.
What can i say that hasn’t already been said…
I consider myself a Warcraft widow. This is appropriate naming as you feel as if your future is dying.
I have experienced it all. I have a fiance who has levelled 4 60’s in 14 months. I know my sh!#.
Played myself, had the fights, had the promises and even rostered days of play..much to my dismay it did not stay that way. He even played when his daughter came to visit once a fornight.
He eats most of his meals at the comp which i so lovingly make knowing he’ll eat it cold anyway.
OK so get a hobby you say so i joined the gym (not for long) and watched him put on weight from gaming all hours of the day and night. Yes it gave him more gaming time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder…if you know they are actually absent!
Going to bed alone is normal for a warcraft widow, we eventually get used to all that extra space in the bed.
OK so enough whinging cos i’m sick of it. Gamers might find this a little vindictive to someone you love but drastics times mean drastic measures so this is what you do…
1. All meals get served cold as that is obviously how they like it. Or don’t make it at all. Gaming is playing so he can make it himself. Or, all meals must be eaten at the dining table. No exceptions!
2. Your hobby must take more time than his gaming (whether you want to or not and appropriately when and if he is not playing that day or night.) BE PREPARED!! You need to have an instant getaway plan. If your at home with the kids, let them run carefree around daddy at the comp. ten to one he’ll get annoyed and go rank but at least you’ll be able to say “Honey, they just want to play with their dad” (Won’t he feel bad)
3. Heard this one “but there’s nothing else to do”. What did they do B.W (before warcraft)? What was their prior hobby? suggest drives, picnics on weekends, trips to the beach, visits to friends, throw a bbq (he’s gotta at least TRY and entertain), Play criket in the backyard or park, basketball,honestly the list goes on. Watching a movie is NOT and option as you don’t actually spend time together.
4.TELL him to take you out to dinner when there is a huge raid on (lets just see how important you are)
5.Don’t give out! Hello feel used or anything! They have 4 modes - sleep, game eat and you know what! That is the only roster they will stick too. so change the roster to suit you! (during his game of course)
Seriously some work some don’t. Give em a try. This website exists for a reason because the people we love are in trouble and need a wake up call.
Hey, I’m just trying to help!
For those of you who do not agree with my methods and think they are silly and petty, then if they are silly and petty they won’t be a problem, will they!
Wake up and smell the roses gamers, your life is falling apart and you won’t even pause to save it! Well for more than five minutes (that is the acceptable amount of time to be AFK).
I’m still trying to save mine…
Good luck to all who at least try.
I’m just tired of thinking about what we could be instead of what we are… both alone in reality. Which is where i am.
i would definitely say that you ladies aren’t in relationships anymore. His relationship’s with the game and the rest of his life has become the “mundane”.
i’m shocked that there are fathers who’re ignoring their kids for this game- i mean parents are supposed to set an example.
if the threat of leaving hasn’t caused him to change his behavior, then i doubt it’s going to change and if it’s bothering you that much then you’re probably better off leaving.
the longer it goes on the more miserable you’ll grow. i also don’t think it does the kids any favors to witness addictive behavior firsthand. I’m sure the courts wouldn’t have a hard time considering the game “abandonment” or “emotional abuse”.
not trying to tell you gals what to do, but food for thought if it’s really making you miserable.
Oh I am soooooooooo excited to have found this website. I know now that I am not the crazy one - there are a ton of other people that are going through the same crapola. This is outragious BS and I have no idea why I am putting up with it. His freaking loud typing wakes me up everynite. He plays ANYTIME he is not sleeping or at work. This gives him a good 10-12 hours a day to play. I dont know why he even bothers having a GF, oh wait now I remember, its because my dumb ass makes all the money and pays all the bills. Ugh I am so happy to have found this website, but so pissed from listening to that damn clicking all nite that I need to go to another room, one that is far away from his computer right now.
nyc_widow and Alysia, I know what you’re going through… For 3 1/2 years, my boyfriend was in college and skipped classes while I worked one FT jobs, taught PT, and picked-up a weekend gig every Christmas. Back then, it was gaming, then a year ago Warcrack became the game of choice. He’s working now, but I work full-time and come home to take care of everything with the house: taking out the garbage, cooking, cleaning, laundry, car maintenance, pet care, grocery shopping, bill shopping, the list goes on…
I feel like a maid.
My only words of caution are to make sure that when he’s not cranking his Warcrack to make sure he’s not chatting online with other female gamers. I could go on about webcams, but I won’t.
Anyway, my situation with his Warcrack hasn’t changed. The incessant clicking and typing is enough to drive me mad. He’s still gaming, if not longer. Like I said previously, I don’t mind gaming—I love FPS games—but when everything else in life takes a backseat to gaming, that’s a problem.
I’ve known people who were so addicted to this game that they played before and after work. I’m giving myself another few months, and if our future isn’t important, then I’ll sadly leave and take my heart with me while he’s clutching that mouse and wearing those stupid headphones.
I just asked how many hours he has played total = I think I may win hands down. ONE HUNDRED and SIXTY DAYS ( and thats just with this particular character, who knows how many total). The endless CLICKING!!!!!!! I always think about leaving him too, and have even told him, but he doesnt care, he is basically very open that he will pretty much take the game over the relationship. I go through different emotions, but honestly if he left me today I dont think that I would care - I would just be glad about getting a nite of rest without the clicking and typing like a mad man. I miss the old BF I had before this crap… I’m not against the game but I a against the hours!!!!!!!!! We arent in a relationship anymore, we are just room mates that get on each others nerves. I’ve talked to a therapist about this situation and he’s given some great advice, but it all leads to the end of the relationship. I guess I really am just prolonging the inevitable.
Alysia darling, if it has come to the point of seeing a therapist and he hasn’t been there to support you or hasn’t allowed for some compromisation, you may not have anything left to salvage. At one point i thought mine was playing to get away from me as well, but it looks to me that yours is avoiding you a little intentionally…but that’s my opinion.
I hope you make the right decision…you only get one life…spend it with more happy moments than sad. Humans are social creatures, we need other human interaction so who can blame you moving on. People change, and his life is going on a different path than yours…nowhere!
Take Care and look after you first and foremost!
Alysia
Yeah, there are plenty of us guys out there that want our girl to actually wanna spend time with us. Ditch the loser and find someone better.
Alysia,
I know exactly what you’re going through. My soon-to-be-ex-husband would play WoW all day and night in our bedroom when I was trying to sleep. I’d end up sleeping on the couch in the living room because the two hour fight over whether he had more right to play than I had to sleep just wasn’t worth it.
He and I played a lot of MMOs together, from FFXI to CoH to WoW, and I have the experience. (I have 4 60s in WoW, and a variety of other chars). It’s not a question of “learning to play the game” or sharing his hobbies. It was his only hobby. He never left the house, he’d eat in front of the computer. He would sleep during the day when I was at work and stay up all night. I never ever saw him when he wasn’t at the computer. He would play with headphones to talk to his guildmates on ventrilo, so I couldn’t even talk to him.
I myself have felt the addictive call of the game, but I’ve been able to pull myself away and play casually (I still play), but he was never able to.
I eventually went to counselling to see if there was something wrong with me, something I could change. Or maybe if there was just a strategy I could try to improve our relationship. He refused to come with me.
The ironic part about all of this, is that while he was busy chatting with his guildmates, I met someone else through WoW that eventually won my heart. With his help, I ended my relationship with my husband, and now we are together. He is a WoW player as well, he has decided that being happy with me and with his life is more important than this game. And the divorce paperwork should be going through any day now
To make a long story short, my relationship with my husband was doomed. But it’s not the fault of WoW, it’s the fault of my ex-husband. He didn’t value me, or himself, and he didn’t value our relationship enough to put the effort into it.
In my opinion, you need to evaluate your relationship, talk to your significant other, and give him an ultimatim. If he doesn’t change his ways, then you have no choice but to leave him. It is not worth making yourself miserable over. And you may be missing out on even better opportunities by sticking around.
Thanks to all ya’ll who were kind enough to spend some time and give me some words of advice. You all probably spent more time bothering to post than my bf spent talking to me today. Really I do just need to stop talking about it and actually either stop crying about it and suck it up or get the heck out of here!!!! hopefully this doesnt scar me for life - it is hard to sit here and think that a person who you dedicated almost 3 years to is willing to pick a game over you:(
What really ticks me off is that every now and then, he says, “OK honey…my server’s doing repairs tonight so I can’t play”. And I’m supposed to jump up and down like a happy puppy because I get one night in seven to spend with my husband????? He acts like he’s doing me a FAVOR and that I should appreciate this, when what I want is for him to WANT to spend time with me over the game. He says I’m jealous and he’s so right. I shouldn’t have to compete with a stupid game to spend some quality time with my husband.
I say AMEN to that sister!!!!!!!!! I have to admit that since I have joined all the groups I could find on the internet, he has improved somewhat. I am trying to stay calm and meet him halfway since it seems like right now he is trying to meet me halfway. Although I have asked him to wash those dishes all day…………………………………….
Ok, I respect the fact that my boyfriend of a lil over two years has a hobby, it could be worse he could be addicted to strip bars. But it’s getting to the point where his days off of work are devoted to WOW. When I am with him and his friends all I hear his them talking about WOW and I’ve tried to be respectful and get into it and learn why it’s so addicting but I can’t see it. How can you sit on you ass for 11 hours to gain what a pouch for your weapons?? Are you serious? And when i try to explain to him that I feel like WOW is above me on his list of priorities he doesn’t understand. I don’t want to make him choose, I want him to still play but what do I do to make him cut down on the hours and hours he plays?!? Please help!!!
There is no other place on earth i would rather be then in the arms of my fiance…unless he is wearing headphones, then he can go F#*K himself!
Where’s my rum…
I know how you feel. My husband is addicted to WoW. Our one year anniversary is coming up in 3 weeks and he doesn’t want to go anywhere for it because he won’t get to play. I feel so neglected, and he even turns me down for sex because he’d rather play the game. The game is actually tearing our marriage apart because I have to take care of everything. I feel more like the mother of a 13-year-old boy than the wife of a 27-year-old man.
Im a full time student in college, i have a part time job that i schedule my hours which wont affect raids, and i try to spend time with my g/f but its hard b/c we have a complety different schedules. she is alos in college, She hates this game so much. I tell her that this is my hobby and she should get her own hobby and stop hating the game and me for playing it. were not married, we dont have kids, but when we get to that point i know the game is going on hold.
i’ve been with my boyfriend for more than over 4 yrs. a few months ago, i found out that he’s been txt msging / calling this girl from his guild (sending
I don’t mind that my boyfriend plays the game, hell I even play a fair amount of time. What I am worried about is the fact that he spends hours upon hours talking to one particular girl. I know the girl’s in game name, should I confront her about it?
I am pretty sure that he may tell this girl that he loves her and those kinds of things. I just want to know if I am wasting my time in our relationship.
Please give me some advice on if i should talk to her or not. He doesnt say anything about it, and tells me I am over-reacting about how much he enjoys himself with her.
Help please
My advice would be to join the WOW Widows group in yahoo and read some of the posts about SO’s establishing relationships with online gals. I dont think ( I better not!!!!!) that I am experiencing this in my house; if i am it will be the straw that breaks this camels back!!!!
I often feel like I have a third child now, one thats 29 years old and addicted to a game. We have our ups and downs with it. today I am PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Aranna!! I know what you feel like, you don’t want to come off like the jealous crazy type but then again you dont want to get hurt. Has he lied to you before?? If you have a relationship where the trust hasn’t been broken and he has never lied to you then I think you should trust him on this> But if he has lied in the past then I say go for it, you have a right to follow your gut and you know what as long as you dont go crazy on this girl and just have a casual convo with her your not doing anything wrong. I wish you luck!!
Hey, well I did talk to her, but so far she hasnt had much to say. Seems pretty shocked to know he had a girlfriend, which I guess I would be too, but also makes me almost positive something is going on.
He wont talk though, I confronted him and so far he hasn’t said anything. Wait and see when I get home I guess. I’m pretty sure we are over, don’t think I can live with it anymore. I watched A current afair last night (in australia) and they did a segment on being addicted to the game. It might as well have been about him, it was exactly the way he acts and everything.
Hey Aranna,
Im in Australia too. Wished I had seen the ACA show. I might check out their website.
And I am no longer a wow widow due to my s/o emails with a member of the opposite sex in game.
Pitty ya can’t PM on this site…
This is the link to the segment for all that are interested.
My BF isn’t so happy that I talked to this other girl. I don’t think he realises how many people he has hurt doing this, I mean it probably didn’t even cross his mind that this girl (who obviously has feelings for him) might be hurt by the fact that he has been hiding a girlfriend all this time.
ONE QUESTIOn - who watched south park tonite??? Oh my goodness, he was laughing his ass off and I was holding back the tears. I hope that was an eye opener for some of these freaks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey all! I’m in Brisbane QLD. I’m getting married in 3 weeks to a warcraft addict and i am terrified! Mind you i have found other ways to spend my time then hang with my soon to be hubby. I guess i just live with it. He’s been gaming solid for 15 months.
I do wonder what its gonna be like if we have kids. That scares me a little.
I think this website is very therapeutic. It helps me to get the steam out.
I do feel for those who have lost the fight to win their partners time back. It is an addiction afterall.
I love my fiance and i want to marry him good with the bad and all. I just hate that game soooo much and wish he never found it but as you all know if it’s not this game, it would be another one just as bad. Let’s face it…we are with gamers!
Everytime i see something on TV like that ACA show, i make sure he see’s it. It acts as a gentle reminder not to go too overboard. I guess i got sick of trying and crying and whinging and yelling that i got used to it.
Oh well, as long as a have this website i think i can stay sane! LOL Talk soon.
Well, I’m no widow, but I’ve lost a friend to this thing.
A few years ago, we’d hang out, work on cars, go out for coffee, bullshit…you know, just hang out. Then along came the game. He stopped working. He told clients that he was booked for the week, and he couldn’t see them. He stopped coming out for coffee. The rest of us still go, even others who were temporarily addicted to the thing, but he showed up later and later, and now just doesn’t.
As someone who has dealt with an addiction personally, and has done everything they can to learn about the mechanism of addiction, I can safely say that this is as bad as crack or heroin. The pattern of addiction is exactly the same. The lies, excuses, withdrawal into the “world”, the non stop talk about the one and only subject that they care about anymore.
It’s sad that these people just can’t get a REAL, actual, physical life.
I have found in many cases I’ve seen personally that people who are addicted get that way for the same reason others get addicted to drugs or alcohol: there’s something missing in their lives, or they’ve got some kind of hurt that they don’t want to face in the real world.
Well addicts, your wives, girlfriends, families and friends are here to talk to you, for real.
BTW, saw the South Park episode, and found it funny as hell. My friend the addict saw it too, thought it was funny, but could not see the sad truth in it. Too bad. I’ll just have to keep trying.
In defense of those who play WoW: it is a way of life. That might sound extremely stupid to many people, but gamers can be very commited to what they do. To us, it is one of the funnest games created. It takes a lot of time, but never gets boring. I know people who have 190 actual days of WoW playing time, and they still have much to do in the game. That’s over 1/2 a year of their life spent in a videogame. If you think WoW is stupid or whatever, think that nobody could spend over half a year playing something that sucks. WoW is a great place that can even build international friendships (I know kiwi’s!!) I don’t care if i don’t have time for a girlfriend. WoW is worth it…end of story
I’m a WOW widow just like the rest of you but my husband and I have the whole thing worked out, for the most part. His guild schedules quests for Wednesday nights and Saturday nights so I know that those 2 nights it’s just the little one and me hanging out. The additional playing time is negotiated and I just tell him when it’s getting out of hand. My advice, work out a schedule and try to be a little flexible but stand up for yourself. When your significant other starts to take adavantage of extra WOW time just say No!
You are brave!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know one thing 200% - I will NOT marry this person until WOW is out of the picture!! There is no way in hell that i will put myself through the torment. Are you guys going on a honeymoon??
I play WoW (Yes im a female) Me and my husband both play.
We have set a schedule for when we play. We raid thursdays and tuesdays. Most of you would wonder why or how anyone can actually get addicted to a game, ill explain to you how some people can.
WoW and other MMORPH’s allow social outsiders to come together with people that they would never be able to talk to in Society due to social structures and hierarchy’s. Online games create an enviroment that allow all people to be accepted in one way or another.
You meet people from across the world or people from the same city that you are in. The people that you meet online you have a connection with already. There is no “Ice breaker” that someone has to find to start a conversation with you. With the way our society is now we are making conversation a little practiced social event. By conversation i mean where both people actually talk about something without using slang terms and they entertain each other.
As to husbands/boyfriends that play and are addicted to it, how often do you two communicate to each other and actually talk to each other? Where you work out issues and see each others point of view instead of coming into the conversation with a byass?
Most ill repeat MOST people get addicted to something because they need an out. This is shown in many addictions from alcholism to smoking.
Dont expect someone to change completely its not in human nature to do so. But compromises can always be worked out if both sides want to. Our compromise was to raid only two nights a week, not the 5 nights that we where raiding before.
I posted a while back about my wife’s addiction to Warcrack. We decided earlier today to get officially seperated. She seemed so happy that now she can play as much as she’d like. Quite honestly, while I’m in pain for what my kids have to deal with, I feel a great sense of relief. I’m finally free from her and her addiction. Don’t waste your lives folks.
Allen I am sorry that it had to result to this for you but glad that with this comes a sense of relief for you.
Crystal, Me and my SO communicate on a regular basis, well when he can be pulled away from the game. Due to my profession, I do feel that while I am byassed, I am able to come into the conversation on neutral ground, out of respect for the fact that I do love him and that he is my SO, even if he does have a problem. We often talk about compromise, but unfortunately it is all talk. Maybe one of these days it will work long term. We had a long conversation yesterday and he only played for about 20 minutes today. I am not against the game, heck I used to play and still do every now and then, but I would never let WOW get in the way of our family the way I feel that he does. At least he is being more honest with my now and has finally come to the first step, admitting that yes there is a problem with him playing 12-14 hours every day. I’m sure he does play because he needs an out, heck I’d need one too if I had nothing else to do. I hope the day comes that he gets sick of the fanatsy world of WOW and is able to come back to (and enjoy) the real world where there are real live people to communicate with. I hope the compromise can last, but have my realistic doubts about it due to the addiction factor. I asked for as much time spent with me as he is spending with WOW, and its worked for the past 2 days, fingers crossed it stays this way.
I am not alone! I knew there were other “widows” like me out there, and I’m not sure if I should say I’m happy about that fact or not, but I am glad to have found you!
My hubby has had more put on him the last few years, as I developed a chronic pain condition. I used to take care of everything. He worked (and so did I) but other than maybe helping straighted up every week or so he really didnt’ have any other responsibilities. We have three kids at home so there is a lot to keep track of and handle. Unfortunatly he’s always on the game, headphones on, not seeing or hearing anything other than his game.
I need his help. I can’t do it all anymore! I hurt all the time & now I wonder if I’m going to have to be a single parent. Honestly, it is easier when he isn’t here because it’s one less person to clean up after. The kids mind better when he’s gone too.
Does anyone have any suggestions?? & trust me, I’ve had the “sit down” with him several times.
My partner has been playing online games since we met, firstly it was Ultima, then Star Wars Galaxies then back to Ultima before finally settling for World of Warcraft. We have two daughters and he neglects them to play an online game with a bunch of wasters. He has friends from work who play it with him yet they are single so have the time to do so but my partner does not. We don’t go anywhere and it has got to the point where I can’t be near him because of his addiction.
Everyday I moan about it to him and when he logs on he says just getting my post, but then it is four hours later and I am left to play with our daughters. Tonight in sheer frustration I turned off the computer during his time on it. I’m not sure how I can get him out of the habit of playing, I don’t want to deny him all the time but our relationship is suffering and tonight our youngest daughter almost put a small toy in her mouth because he wasn’t watching her as he was playing the game.
I am at my wits ends now and bsides leaving I don’t know what else to do to make him see what he is doing to our family
Not that i like this idea becuae i hate ultimatumns but if his addiction or her addiction has gotten so bad that they cannot see what they are going to lose, then maybe they need an eye opener.Go to an addictions councilor or a psychiatricst. Addictions councilors are realizing the problem of the internet and MMORPHs they may be helpful.
Go out to a movie or to the gymn/coffe whatever that you can do when he gets home. Don’t just get up and leave when he walks in the door but a few hours later tell him a few days before about your plans to that way hes not shocked and to aviod any extra conflict. Dont take the kids with you leave them with him to take care of. Plan outings for two days a week or so. In theory this should force him to take responsibility for the kids a few times a week for a couple of hours. Maybe that will make him connect with his family agian and force the realization of what he is missing in his family. Im not saying that this will work but it forces him to get of the computer and entertain his kids, while allowing you sometime off maybe to go out with a few friends.
Or schedule family movie/game days where you rent a few movies and sit down and watch them.
My husband and I had to schedule “dates” to get away from the computer and our addiction. We went to friends houses or just for random drives. Every friday we go out with a bunch or friends for a cheap movie night or for supper. Its like creating distractions to get away from your addiction.
Im not really sure if any of this helps its just what we had to do to get away from the WoW enviroment and be able to function like actual people again and not like robots with no connection to humanity.
I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years. The main reason was her addiction to this game. She’d play it near constantly, as did I because I wanted to be around her and I enjoyed it too. Any time we were away from this game we were so much better as a couple. It was almost like night and day. I’d try to talk to her about anything at all and she’d get extremely defensive and mean. I discovered a mutual online friend that was coming down to visit typing to her the night before his trip that “he couldn’t wait to shower with her” and even more explicit. Naturally I confronted her and she wanted to break up and have me move out. After just getting out of a job this was a heck of a lot of change extremely quick.
This has been hard over the past few weeks and I wish I could just turn these feelings off with a switch. Before WoW she was an awesome woman who I cared for deeply. But with WoW around she was a very defensive and cranky person. I did all I could think of to try and make things work but she’d rather escape into a game and have pretend relationships that take no work.
Well I think I have had a big personal break-through over the past few days. While I stil think the game has contributed in a big way to the downward spiral of my relationship, I dont think it is the main cause. I think it is one of many causes actually. The longer we are together, the longer I seem to find more and more out. #1 yes he is a gamer, which is just something I dont want in a life mate #2 he is an atheist, which is another thing I do not want #3 he chooses to keep a checking account with an ex I could go on and on but there is no point really. The main point is that even with just those 3 things, there are all sorts of problems that we have so the game is just one of many really. If it wasnt WOW it would be something else I am sure. At this point I’m glad he’s playing the game because thats more time he is leaving me alone. At least this is how I feel today, tomorrow who knows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Brad
Been there man, it’s tough, but you’ll do better, don’t worry. You just need to get away and take a little time to heal- those hurt feelings aren’t going to go away right away, but don’t confuse them with true love.
My ex had me so busted up when she left, I thought I was really losing something special- she broke me down pretty bad on her way out so i thought I needed her. I’ve been dating a lot of girls since my fiancee left, starting to have the time of my life.
I think about her locking herself in her room all day, chatting with some other guy and I almost feel sorry for her. Time will show you that she’s actually doing you a favor.
Any girl that would rather spend her time in a dark room in front of a computer screen rather than spend time with you was never worth your time to begin with.
The “prestige” of having a gamer chick is not worth that.
Get her out of your life and I promise- a few months later you’ll be wondering why you ever wasted time on that one.
Keep your head up and give it time. You’ll be much better off.
alysia
Sounds like a total loser.
Why not find someone who’s worth your time and effort?
Don’t see why you wouldn’t cut him off completely until he got his sh*t together; because as things stand, you’re giving him all the power in the relationship.
Do you really want such an insignificant role in your SO’s life?
There are plenty of guys out there that would put you first - or at least near the top.
Sorry, I just hate to see you people suffering.
I wish I knew what I know now back in March or even last year.
Thank you Eric - its helpful to hear this stuff!! I just have to read it every day for it to sink in!! I would like to do exacly what you have suggested!!
I lost my best mate to Warcraft. Me, him and his girlfriend would meet up regularly to go out and watch gigs, get drunk or just sit around the house and chill. But then he started playing Warcraft non stop. He became totally immersed in the world and just forgot about his real life. Me and his girlfriend soon realised he had a real problem and tried to talk to him about it, but he kept spouting the same tired excuses i’ve seen here. It was obvious he was using it as a way of escaping dealing with real issues.
after two years his girlfriend couldn’t take it anymore and left him. I used to go round and see him but he would never look away from his monitor for more than a few seconds. He couldn’t even be bothered to make me a cup of tea as any proper host would. I too realised he was a lost cause and stopped visiting him. There was only so man times i could keep banging my head against the same wall.
You see it’s not just the wives and girlfriends that suffer, it’s the mates as well. We both miss him very much, but he doesn’t care anymore.
Hi
I am a so called warcraft widow, i always knew it was bad and laughed about my boyfriend being a geek, but huge books keep appearing about warcraft and every moment not spent on it is spent researching and talking about it.
We have been together for four years and i always thought i was one to accept people for what they are, but he was becoming more and more withdrawn.
He tells me nothing about warcraft except that he is on it all the time because he is great, so this site is teaching me alot.
I found out a couple of months ago that he has a whole different life, with people he meets from all over the world. He tells them he’s the sort of person he wants to be and builds himself up, for example he isn’t truthful about not having a job, he lost it due to never turning up on time (because he was always on warcraft until the crack of dawn)
All of this i thought i could cope with until i found that he has been meeting women on warcraft, i have found photo’s emails texts the lot, and not just from one women but several. He says there is nothing going on and keeping this sort of relatioship is essential for the good of the guild.
Am i just a stupid fool and should i get out now???
[…] The concept of the “Everquest Widow” is nothing new. Sure, World of Warcraft has been more successful than Everquest, and yes, there are “WoW widows” but it’s nothing new. A couple days ago, a post on Soul Kerfuffle was making the rounds last week, about a guy and his year in World of Warcraft. He talks of addictions, obsessions, and broken families. After I read that post, I found another post telling the story of yet another gaming widow dealing with someone “addicted” to gaming. For whatever reason, this particular blog post was rather poignant to me. Even though the game isn’t EQ or WoW, it’s still the same thing. […]
My husband and I used to be beautiful, until he discovered WoW. I started playing with him. Things were fine. We were madly in love. No addiction yet. Got a house of our own. We started playing WoW together. We were fine. We got to sixty on our mains. Life was fun and very good. Around January things started to get very bad. Now that I look back on it, I can see that- he started to become emotionally abusive. WoW is all he wanted to do, ever. No partying, no dinners, no movies, no holiday outtings, not even TV. Nothing. I thought maybe this was a phase. Maybe he enjoys it THAT much, “I’ll play along for a while.” I was stupid. The tantrums grew worse. The ugly things he said to me became more frequent. Now, I’m so deep in a hole of complete depression and anger towards myself for being naive that I can’t stand it anymore. Nothing works. I cannot find his attention without playing. I quit for 2 months to no avail. Saying “Maybe we should designate playtimes weekly” does not work. He wont go to counseling with me. Threatening him with divorce does not work. He started blaming the most minute shit on me so frequently that I thought he could have been carrying on affair on with some one else (adulterers play the blame game) and that makes no sense! He spends all of his time playing WoW! And after researching I have finally concurred that he is an addict. We are fairly newly weds, so we have no responsibilites to children. But I do have a very small family and they live in the area. They get to see my husband once every other month (I’m the only child). Our one year anniversary was this past weekend. After I spent that night crying in the bathtub while he was killing Ony on his alt, I’ve decided to give up playing with him at all. We were supposed to get him a wedding band (something he’s been putting off for a year now) and ended up going to one place, getting in an arguement about “not getting out enough” and going home. I’m so sick and sad about it. I’ve realized that while I was playing with him I’ve lost ALL my friends with exception to one. Became depressed. Gained 10 lbs. Developed nasty eating habits (including loads and loads of caffeine). And have accomplished absolutely nothing that I wanted to accomplish. But now, I realize whats going on. I’m ready to sell my characters on ebay (a good thing to do by the way). I’m sure he’ll become angry since I have threatened to delete my account before and that was his reaction. You see, I’m not allowed to leave WoW or else…I’ll be punished with no affection. So, as I can leave strong willed (because, I, as sick and pathetic as it seems, am only addicted to trying to spend time with my husband) I cannot leave without hurting my “marriage.” Point blank. But I’m going to. I’ve had enough.
There are widows all over, everywhere. In fact, my husband’s coworker that got him into the game’s wife is looking at divorce right now…and he plays less than my husband does!
Letting the game run its course is never a solution. This game is designed to keep people playing, ALL THE TIME. Not to mention, the expansion is coming out soon and guess what?!?! Its going to take TWICE as long to get to lvl seventy from sixty than it did to get to sixty from lvl 1! Boooo!
And I do agree with the entire “depends on the person” theory. I am dropping WoW. I have 4 lvl 60s (priest, war, mage, hunter)on skywall. I basically played to appease my husband and I’m not going to miss it. F*ck an elitest guild! And if I f*ck my marriage too, well, then it wasn’t a good marriage.
char
Not to be all nosey and tell everyone on this site what to do, but as a guy your man sounds like he’s just waiting for one of those girls to come along who’s just hot enough, just close enough, and just willing enough to replace you with. It’s a popular tactic that women use as well, called “bullpenning”. Sounds like he wants to get himself a gamer chick. I would venture to say that he’s just going to break you down, make you feel worthless, and justify to himself what he’s doing to you before finally leaving you for someone else.
I don’t know the guy so I can’t be sure, but reading your email definitely sets off some alarms.
If it were me, I’d leave and only take him back on the condition that he drops the game & cleans up his act because he doesn’t sound like the type of person that’s worth suffering for.
Jen
Good luck with your situation. Just remember his problem is not your fault and you shouldn’t allow it to ruin your life. Yes, you care about him; but he’s got a serious problem and if he’s unwilling to change then you need to move on and make yourself happy.
I know I may be addicted to the soap box, but I know how much pain the last year caused me, so if there’s any hope I can give you guys that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, then I don’t mind making a jerk out of myself.
Hi Eric,
Thanks for the advice, i hear what your saying!!!
It’s just very difficult as i’m the sort of person that always likes to believe in the best in people, i am trying to believe my boyfriend when he says there is nothing going on, But in my opinion if you are in a happy stable relationship you don’t feel the need to meet other women online.
I have said to him that as he has broken my trust that the warcraft goes or i do, at which he said he would give up, but somehow i don’t believe that he can.
We live 130 miles apart and he doesn’t have a job we only see each other every now and then, maybe thats got something to do with us drifting apart and not just the game thats to blame.
But i feel he would play it in secret and be dishonest with me.
I know i said several women but one in particular has had more attention paid than the others, he says he will stop texting her and concentrate on our relationship, but i have said to him that if he keeps giving his number to every random woman he happens upon in the game one day someone will come along that he can’t resist.
I want to give him an ultimatum warcraft or me mate!!! but i find it hard to be the one to stop someone doing what they love as i feel he will just resent me even more.
I won’t babble on too much as my story is not as bad as some, we don’t have kids, we’re not married and we don’t have a house together, i’m only 29 so i’m young enough to start again.
You know more about warcraft and i thank you for your advice. I am not seeing him for a couple of weeks to let the air cool then i will broach the subject, i’ll let you know how i go on!!!!
P.s and Jen i feel your pain hun don’t let him grind ya down, you are better than that. I have been going through so many self confidence issues lately, am i not good enough, exciting enough, funny enough, sexy enough etc etc, but at the end of the day if your hubby cannot see the beauty of you both inside and out when it’s staring him in the face then he does not deserve you, and some day you find someone who will make you feel worthwhile.
Hey guys,(before is start please excuse my spelling :))
Ive just finished reading this whole post after recently quiting my online life.
Speaking from experience.. (i have 3 60 characters and many various others), the game is obviously very adictive. i should know.. i just failed my uni coarse of 4 years due to my study “breaks” of time on WoW.
Cleaning up the mess is hard, i am still with my girlfriend of 3 years… but only by a thread. This was probably also a result of the fact that while at uni i was a long way away…
To everyone out there living with people addicted to this game, i know you must be frustrated to the point of exhustion, but you CAN stick it through. I should know, it took me a very long time to see the light
I think the greatest thing about the addiction is the massive feeling of loss when not playing or trying to give it up. There is game logic behind this sure, better armour, alts, rare drops etc are a lure. BUT:
- The experience is a real one with other people, its best described as a chat program (but everyone uses voice-chat mostly) and this does (however distorted) produce real-life relationships.. not just the flirty ones either, im talking about reliable mates who will drop everything (at least when online) to help you out. This is lost and can be amplified if there is no-one in real life to reciplicate this ‘comradery’ when and if the leave the game.
- The literal amount of time played on the game is one of the reasons i actually found it both hard and a reason to leave the game. let me explain :). On one hand you have a part of me looking at the amount of time played saying “im in too deep to quit, if i do i will have wasted so much money and time”, while on the other is the simple fact that i spent too much time on it. I know this might sound a bit hard to grasp but ive only just quite and reading this helps me to stay off it.
In closing im not totally sure i have been much help at all but i really hope that it works out for those in positions struggling with addicts. I guess i have my girlfriend to thank for pulling my twisted mind through… i hope to repay her one day..(p.s. i realise that sounds really corney but its true
)
thanks for listening to my blab, hope you all go well..
I can see both sides of the issue on this one. First off, my husband and I both play WoW. Prior to this game we played DAOC and Star Wars Galaxies. I do believe in sharing in your partners interests, and my hubby likes WoW so there I am along side him. We belong to a guild and typically raid/play with our friends 6 nights a week. Since they are scheduled raids from 7:30 pm onwards, we do our thing prior to our play schedule (i.e., take the kids to the park, eat dinner, talk, clean the house, run errands, you name it). Of course there are also times when we can’t make our raids as real life takes precedence, or one of us is tired or sick. Instead of getting burned out on the game, we take a night off and watch a tv show or movie.
Since the kids go to bed around 8, they have had our time all day (I’m a stay-at-home mom), so the 30 mins prior to bedtime is no biggie as they sit with us and either play or watch something before bed.
What I’m saying is that there has to be a balance. Neither one of us would be playing to the point where our kids or relationship suffer. Do we play too much? Yes sometimes, as we stay up too late most evenings. But does it hurt our relationship or family? No. I think it actually makes us closer, although we do argue sometimes about this or that in the game.
We are also fortunate that our guild is very forgiving if you aren’t able to be around for a day or two, or longer. We are a raiding guild but we all have priorities in life and we are friends and respect that.
As for the players who can’t remove their faces away from the computer, I would suggest talking to your spouse when they are not playing…send an email to work or call them if you have to. Or when they just get home from work, or after a night of playing. The word is compromise. You can’t expect your partner to sit in front of the tv each and every night watching something that you like, and forbidding him/her to play online. Not everyone likes tv for instance. The same can be said for anything else that is of interest to you. But that doesn’t mean there can’t be a compromise. Talk…not yell about your partner’s online playing and see what the two of you can do to work things out. You may also want to consider playing a little bit here or there with your partner so that you are doing something together as well. Talking things out and not screaming while they are playing can go a long way.
Just one question for these bitching ladies. How much more do you weigh now, vs when he first met you?
I will gladly answer that. When we met I was in a size 2/3 and weighed 103 pounds. I am now in a size 5 weighing at 120. When we met I had just turned 23 and I am now 26. I am 5′4″ and a tad bigger now than i was when we met, but I still look damn good if I may say so myself!! He’s in some guild called forgotten aspects. If he keeps this up it will be forgotten girlfriend!!!!!
Okies, lets elaborate. Cause Im really bored and this will be really good
. In 3 yrs you gained 17 pounds. No suppose he marries you and you retain that weight vs time path. By the time youre 32 you will be 5′4 and weigh 154, which is approaching pleasantly plump. A few yrs after that, and well, you get the picture. Besides, maybe he does nothing more than go to work, come home. Would you rather him play a RPG online in youre living room or having a beer with the boys down at the local bar ?? You women can piss and moan all you want, but you find ANY other addiction that keeps his ass in the house, he cant get arrested for, doesnt involve another woman and costs $12 a MONTH.
I was dating a WoW guy as well and didnt care in the beginning because I worked evenings till midnite, and we only had Saturday and Sunday off together. He plays 3 nites a week 4 hours at a time and I rather he do that than be at a bar somewhere drinking etc… But, on Sundays we would be lying in bed after sex and he would leave to go play the video game! This guy is 30 years old! Im 33. Ridiculous. He didnt call me during the week only text message. I think a lot of these gamers are socially mal-adapted geeks who cant interact with real people unless its through a computer. Its sad when a grown man would rather game than be in bed naked with a woman- or wanr a real realtionship actually interacting in person. many of these people fear social interaction and seldom have girlfriends. As far as addiction goes, its never ok to let anything control your life to the point when your neglectful of responsibilities and relationships- just like a drug, food or alcohol addict. Also I found a whole page of women on Wow he was contacting and making sexual comments etc… Thats dorky. Virtually hitting on hot women he would never get in real life or have the balls to approach - thats why I didnt flip when I found out, I felt sorry for him.
Hi Vesparider,
I agree with what you’re saying to a T. I find it very hard to interact with people and often feel the temptation to bury my nose in an absorbing game because of it. I struggle in social situations and am not the best with girls. Everyone else seems to know what to say, and I feel like I’m saying the wrong things. In the game world its completely safe and controlled and predictable in a way the world around us is not. I think that’s the big attraction for the **coughs** geeks like me.
I resist the temptation to play but I still get very strong cravings. Instead I normally come here or gamerwidow and read some of the accounts, which i have to say are pretty heartrendering especially when they involve children. Not surprisingly, the temptation goes away for a while. Keep that WoW (which I’ve never played and never will) away from me. I’m 26. It would be nice to meet a nice girl and settle and have a family.
Joel
You seem like a really nice guy Joel. The best way to become adept in social situations is to force yourself into them little by little and over time it will get easier. I am in my 30’s and still feel like a goofy 8th grader socially. I dumped my BF whom I loved because he made more dates with the game than me. He seems proud of the fact, and he’s 30! I also found a Wow site where he is contacting and flirting with a bunch of gaming women commenting on their photos- after we were dating/sleeping together. He was doing this off game hours, like during work. I confronted him yesterday and he’s defensive of course and blames me for “over-reacting as usual” etc… most women would be irritated by this, but at the same time I feel sorry for him. To rely on computers to interact and connect with people, not going out much. I sensed this in the beginning so I put up with his lack of calling me on the phone as opposed to text messaging, breaking plans with me to get together via text! The list goes on. AS a result the relationship had turned out obe the coldest most distant one I have ever been in.
I want to go back four years ago before the downfall of my life … My ex started playing games such as Neverwinter nights and Diablo then warcraft ect ect.. My life has literally fallen apart due to online games and chat. While my Husband was gaming and chatting to people online I had no idea back then I was clueless to the internet , gaming or (cyber people) I had no idea what he was doing I just knew he was on the computer ALOT. being that he was a computer tech at the time I thought he’s working ect. our son was around 3-4 years old when it started getting really bad and I started noticing how much time he spent online and not with us. I was doing all the housework, all the yardwork, he was working long hours then on his days off he was on the computer or sleeping. I knew he needed a break and worked hard for us (which I didn’t appreciate at the time because I was selfish) but I missed him and was lonely, My mother was living with us at the time and I frequently expressed my sadness to her about his lack of interest in his family and she would tell me give him his space and he’ll come around. I used to beg him to spend time with Me and our son and he would tell me in a minute or later. Later never came. Eventually he built me my own computer as he got himself a new one and suggested I get online and look around, he showed me how I could talk to my sisters online and do Messenger, I wanted to quit smoking at the time so I found a quit smoking site and started talking to people on their daily while my husband was at work ,That was the first time in a very long time that I had adult conversation and contact (cyber or otherwise) it was adult contact, Then I discovered chat rooms and all the people I could talk to anytime I wanted which totally suited my outgoing, extraverted personality.. I would tell jokes and talk about silly stuff in chat rooms for hours a day while my husband was in the backroom doing whatever he did on his computer .I continued to try to better our family, remoldeling our home and trying to improve things for my husband to make him happy. (or so I thought,) I would ask him to help me make improvments to our home or mow the lawn or do anything with us and his anwser was always he’s to tired or busy. I eventually stopped cleaning the house like I did, stopped taking care of the yard as I had. I began to let another man come between my husband and myself via the CYBER WORLD..This other guy was feeding my self esteem and building my confidence and stroking my ego all the while my husband was in the other room gaming or sleeping or oblivious to his wife and her needs.. The sad thing is I had no idea how wrapped up I could become or how far things could go or that my family could be affected by this. ” I will never get a divorce” that’s what I always said. I will never do to my son what I went through coming from divorced parents. Skip to 2002 my son’s about five and im still talking to the man online , my husband still exhausted everyday coming home going right to bed after work then on the computer after waking.. Everyday my resentment built and everyday I let my so called “chat friends” tell me that he’s no good. if he cared he would be involved with his family, he would want to be with you and your son and everyday was the same routine, I would beg him. Please stay up just this one time and he couldn’t not for me. I literally gave up caring that he would turn around, I let myself believe he didn’t love me anymore and didn’t care if I was around or not. I started seeing this online guy in september of 2002 03 and really stopped caring what my husband was doing or not doing because someone else was filling his role as my confidant and companion, My husband then began to really isolate and play games continuously as I was having my affair. He tried to tell me that it wasn’t real that this relationship wasn’t real, he tried to save our marriage at one point by admitting his wrongs to our family and trying to reconcile , but as the addiction to chat had took hold I was blinded by the cyber friends that weren’t real and avoiding my real life family, it was my escape and it felt good to be talked to so nicely all the things I missed from my husband the chat world was fullfilling for me.
I eventually moved out of our home and into an apartment with the other man, In my manic state I actually believed that I would leave home for a month or so, my Husband would change his behavior and love me so much and bring me home. of course that never happened. The longer I was gone the easier it was for him to forget , the pain I caused him sent him deeper into the gaming world and the cycle continued for years. an entire year went by us living apart , Me at this apartment him at our home. I would come to the house every weekend with our son and everytime I walked through that door my husband was on the computer playing a game, His outlet , his escape from the pain of his wife leaving him , his companion was now a game,But I saw it as further proof that he didn’t care for his family , further proof that he didnt’ love me,” if he loved me he would get off that computer and talk about us..” RIGHT? WRONG!!!!!
Now were just going through the motions I left but nobody’s doing anything to fix it or end it.. We are both just surviving both hurting and neither of us willing to divorce or do what needed to be done to reconcile although we both tried our own ways neither of us could understand the other’s que’s or signs that the other actually did care..
after me leaving the home started to fall apart, the yard went to crap, the neighbors complained that nobody was taking care of the home, WHich gave me more fuel to blame my husband for being ungrateful , uncaring, lazy. ect but in reality he was just hurt and depressed about his life and could barely function. MY son was caught in the middle of course and I would go back and forth between guilt and blame for all of this happening to our son. I would blame my husband for not changing his behavior and not seeing what I needed and I blamed myself for letting another man step in where my husband had stepped out..
2004 was now here and Im still out of the home although I did move closer for my son and his school when my worst fear came true. march 29th my mom was hit in a head on collision and life flighted to Hospital, I was closest to my mom and terrified she would die and at that moment I realized how important my family was to me and how selfish I was to not think WHY my husband was doing what he was doing not to hurt me but to protect himself from further pain by me. WHile my mom was on life support i had told my husband I want to reconcile, I want to come home I said and in front of the hospital I will never forget He said “I want a divorce” My mother died on May 2nd 2004 due to trauma and multiple injuries. four days after her death my husband had me served with divorce papers and my entire world shattered in one week.
the pain was so emense that I would go to the house and beg him to take me back to please help me through my moms death and be my husband again and he would just step over me and go back to his game. Ive never been so heartbroken and never imagined he could be so cruel to me. Not my husband? WHY? this sent me into DEEP DEEP Depression , I became suicidal and suffer post traumatic stress. a number of misfortunes continued to follow this so numerous I coudn’t begin to tell you, Through the divorce court dates and lawyers I was also trying to take care of my mom’s estate and medical bills and attorney’s and hospitals. I was in a huge nightmare with no way out. We were in court for two years during this divorce Which never needed to happen, unfortunatley at this time I was executer of my mother’s will and her medical power of attorney, Not having emotional support of the man I was married to for ten years and having him completly detached due to my affair I thought of suicide every single day, the only thing that kept me alive then was my son who deserved to have a mother. after the loss of my own I couldn’t do that to my son. Skip to today nov 2006 My ex hasn’t changed his behaviors at all, he goes to work, comes home and sleeps then games all night, and repeat.. Ive been to the house daily almost trying to open the lines of communication, trying to hold onto any sign of hope and I can’t see nor speak to him out of that element of game . He can’t make it to scouts because he has a raid, He can’t go to our son’s therapy because he was up all night working then gaming, He can’t do this because his game comes before anything else, He couldn’t avoid the mess of divorce because I couldn’t get him off the game long enough to have a decent and adult conversation regarding our true feelings .
We were both even after the divorce still putting our lives on hold for each other, Im still on the mortgage , he still pays my car insurance, half of my belongings are still in the home that we shared. But what hurts the most is he’s putting my son second to this game, He missed back to school night because of the game, He’s missed teacher conference because of this game, He won’t answer the phone, he doesn’t have a social life other then his cyber friends, he doesn’t go outside, He started drinking, he’s smoking constantly making himself sicker he’s depressed and relying on “cyber Friends” to get by, He’s now involved with an online girl thats coming before his family someone he’s never met is more important then his son..He claimed he would do anything for us anything for his son but all he’s done is hurting us. Our son now suffers depression and OCD he resently developed a tick due to stress.
The past six or so month’s Ive really tried to reconcile our marriage, .. We were intimate a couple of times giving me false hope. His moods would shift like the wind. I would come to the house one day and he would be sweet and loving, the next day he wouldn’t even look at me or be flat out cruel to me in front of our son further confusing our child.
I never thought he would stop loving me, I never thought this would happen to our family, I never thought he’d threaten to call the cops on me because I was bawling and begging him to stop what he was doing and pay attention to whats in real life (he believed I was harrassing him because he wanted to get on his game to talk to his new infactuation)..I recently told him I would do whatever it took to make him happy and make up for me leaving and due to Worlds of Warcraft he’s in a fantasy world with fantasy people and believing just as I did that they really care for him and that he’s just fine doing what he’s doing. slipping away forever from me and my son recently telling me HE WILL NEVER BE WITH ME AGAIN. He hates me and wants me out of his life..Online games, Chat, MMORPG’s it’s all bad and truly destroys lives, All of what ive told you isn’t all that’s gone on but it’s all due to Gaming and not living in the moment , in real life with real people. If you don’t live in reality you will stop functioning in real life…my messege is get off the net and interact with your family, don’t let yourself live in that fantasy world. it’s an escape but when the computer is turned off the problems are still there, you have to go through it and face it or you’ll continue to suffer in the real world.. I will love you always FWP (L)(K)(L) When the fantasy ends I’ll still be here..
AMEN TO MIEKA’s BLOG.. LOL EVERY BIT OF IT TRUE
Hi again Vespa,
Had a bit of a relapse yesterday and played for four hours…
But clean today… i feel such shame and self hatred for being weak.
Computer addictions are going to become well known and we will start seeing help centers like AA for computer addictions. I say computer addictions because its not just the gamer thats causing problems but its also the people that are on chat sites,pod cast sites for 12 hours a day.
People are getting fatter every year and every home is having an average of 2 computers, or 1 computer and a game console(ps2, nintendo,xbox) in there houses. How are these things not connected?
I used to look at my friends that are bar goers as odd since i dont drink i didnt see the point of going to a bar to come home smelling like smoke and alchol. But i have a new respect for the people that get out of there houses and learn to have a conversation with other “Real life” people.
Text messaging and emails are making interaction obsolete.One day our kids will be going to classes like ” The Art of Conversation” so that they will learn how to talk to a person in a one on one situtation.
So…quitting did NOT jerk a knot in his tail like I expected. SO…I went to a marriage psych today and let me tell you, I feel one MILLION times better. He refuses to go seeing as how he thinks this is not a problem at all but I’ve been assured (which is what I needed, 100%) that none of this is my fault! I’m also living at the parent’s. The psych told me that when some ones addicted like he is its important that he sees an absence of me…and if he doesnt care that I’m gone then theres really nothing I can do.
I really want to encourage everyone in a serious relationship with a person addicted to world of warcraft to seek counselling if your partner persists. Its not only important to grow together in your relationship with one another, but to keep YOUR self esteam high and do the things you need to do for YOU. When everything in life is unstable, you need to make YOURSELF stable to be able to deal with it better. Reach out to your friends and family, join a support group, and keep your head high! Theres no reason you should be ashamed of anyone else’s failure!
-J
I am so glad that I am not crazy thinking this is a genuine issue. I have been married to my husband almost 8 years. We have 2 children who are 7 and 2. He works days full time and gets on his game by 7 everynight and is on until 11pm - 1 am Monday through Friday. He doesn’t interact with his kids any more than 10 minutes total on a normal day. On Saturdays and Sundays he’s on the computer with his WOW games from 9 or 10 am until 4 am or so, only getting up to eat, go to the bathroom or smoke. I am tired of his lack of interest in his wife and kids and feel so sad for my kids missing out on the great dad they could have. He is a wonderful person, but this game has sucked the life out of him, and now me. I think it’s time for some serious decisions. Enough is enough.
I was going to learn to play because I normally like that style of game but just the words WOW make me want to throw up and start crying. My husband literally sits every waking hour in front of it. He will work for 6 hours, come home play and sleep for a few hours and get up and play some more. He Ignores me, lies to me, says he will help do something and just plays the game instead. He leaves me to take care of 3 children, one of them who is disabled so he can play the game all day. I dont want to be the type of wife to say its either me or the game but its almost to that point. Scary thing is after almost 12 years of marriage, I think he would pick the game! Our marriage is good other than this. What can I do?
I tried to play “with” him once and he just got all pissy and told me to go away. If it was another woman I could win him back with nakedness and charm but I cant compete with this game
I was going to type a very long explaination of why men get so involved in this game, but then realised that this would take away from game time!
I can’t believe how addictive WOW is. My husband is completely addicted and still in denial. HELP
Thank you everyone , im glad im not alone. Its not that easy to just walk away and leave. We all know what kind of a guy our boyfriends/husbands were before this game. Thats who we fell in love with. We feel bad that such a wonderful person has disappeared, for no good reason at all. Its hard to leave over a video game. Something that you built up over time. I try my best to understand, but I dont see how there can be something so much more important than your significant other, and family. Its going to mean nothing someday. I know he loves me, but everytime it comes time for us to potentially be together, he falls right asleep. I dont want to go through this anymore, I just want my companion back. He can play his game all night, if I could just get 30 minutes a night with just him, awake.
P.S. is there a chatroom for this? id like to talk to some people for support in person if there is. I could really use it.
Ok so my boyfriend who i’ve been with for a little over a month now USE to be addicted to WOW but gave up when he realised how much of his life it was consuming, then he had his chance to cancel his membership, and he did but he told me that he is now using someone elses membership to play and i am worried that he is gonna get addicted again, i dont want it to ruin our relationship, (we’ve been going out officially for a month but nwe’ve been “together” much longer than that), god if he gets addicted again i will actually smash his computer!!!
OMG…I thought I was the only one going through all this. I was feeling like crap yesterday about this whole gaming crap and I came across this website and it actually made me feel a whole lot better. I really thought it was my fault the way I have been feeling. It is like what everyone says, it isn’t the game that pisses me off, it is actually a fun game, i’ve played with my fiance a few times and it was cool. It is just the amount of time dedicated to this game instead of other things. I am trying to plan a wedding and it is hard to talk to someone while they are raiding and have their headset on. He says I can talk to him but while I am I know he isn’t paying attention because he is reading typing and talking to the other 40 ppl playing. I am getting so confused about everything! I happy he isn’t out there doing other things and is at home and if this is all I have to complain about them I am pretty lucky. It just sucks b/c this is his only flaw and I can not stand it. He didn’t always play video games like he does now. He is a very talented song writer/rapper (go figure). Lately I haven’t seen him do any music or the things he used to do. We used to have so much fun together and do things before this game came out…I’ve talked to him about it and he says he doesn’t have a problem and that he will just stop playing, that is doesn’t bother him. Then I feel like I am the bad person for making him quit the game…Ahhh Help…
So guys at what level do you get blessing of kings again?
OOOPS wrong Forums!
to all the significant others out there, one thing that WoW does for me is allow me to be in a wide open space while sitting in my cramped apt. remember also that this game was built for everyone to play, also do point out that you and Gamer069 or whatever their name is - that you are in a relationship and need their attention away from the pc. I am married and my wife does play, but no where near what i do. i am not saying give your person a break, i am saying take a moment and evaluate if you are being peevish or is there an actual concern to be addressed. BTW not paying the cable bill does wonders for bringing to light a problem, hmmm i kinda rambled, remember to love them for who they are and to all the guys out there, take her to dinner, 25 bucks a plate or better, talk to her and recognize that she neds the same amount of attention WoW does, hell tell yer guildies that ya have a RL raid to attend and “phat lewt” to be had, also tell her she looks nice.
Hi Everyone,
I am thankful for support and to know that I’m not alone in this. My husband logged on this afternoon at 5:00 pm and told me 2 hours ago we could spend some time together….it is not 11:00 pm and he’s still playing. What an incredible waste of time and the worst part is…..even an idiot would know what a waste of time it is. My husband is not an idiot so I don’t get it. I have researched the game recently and know that it is designed to be addictive. I keep telling him that it’s hard not to take it personal and he keeps telling me that he can “walk away” at any time….still waiting for that to happen. As a Christian, I have serious problems with the game anyway and the time consumption is the icing on the cake. Does anyone know if there is a chat room out there relating to this subject? I have been searching but have yet to find one. We need to stick together…..I’ll be praying!!!
this is one pathetic site.. all you ugly girls out there let your man play his game. if you don’t like it, suck it up!!
What’s pathetic is that a person would rather play in a fantasy land rather than live in real life. I guess ugly to you are girls that have opinions and value reality. Thanks for your comments…..now go play your game since your real life must not be that great!
Well said Sarah!!
Well… I became a WOW widow this week. It didnt occur to me that a forum like this existed, because I didnt realize it was such a huge issue. I have sat around mourning a relationship that I thought I messed up for not being supportive. Then it hit me… I was making excuses for someones addiction. Maybe it is not drugs or alcohol, but it still something that affects the ones who love you, making them make excuses for you. That is an addiction. This has single handedly affected my life, making me feel like I wasnt good enough to compare to a video game. So I cant offer a entirely new world to hide from reality, but I offer a future and love. I feel for the women here and I jokingly stumbled onto this site. It gives me closure now to know I am not alone. For the women who have had someone taken from them and felt like they were not worth what they deserved due to this game, you are strong and beautiful people. For the people who defend this addiction and have nothing better to do than torment us with thoughtless comments, well I am sincerely sorry that you do not have anything else to do with your time. Specifically for John Doe, I am a successful career women with a college degree and a very bright future, not some ugly girl. You are an ugly person for being this petty and may God have mercy on your soul! This game has cost me a wonderful person that I thought about marrying and beginning a life with and gained me a broken heart. Healing begins today ladies… so God speed Widows of WOW.
Broken…..thank you! The more support we give one another the better. I too felt a sense of relief when I found this website. I knew I couldn’t be alone but didn’t expect to find a sight where you could truly vent and receive support. I have been married for 13 years with 2 children and his gaming time is only getting worse. Our 12 year old loves the game too and if I didn’t put my foot down would be playing it way too much! It is a very sad thing and he’s not to the point where he will admit that he’s addicted. Once we get there I know we can make progress. I am praying about it and believing for a breakthrough. He is a good person with a very selfish addiction. He needs help…..we need help.
ok, for one thing. its a persons CHOICE to play the game…. if they want to play it 24/7 and ruin thier life then let them! i happen to love playing World of Warcraft and 7million other registered users do too…. if u have a boyfriend or whatever that plays WoW non-stop then thats ur problem and dont complain about it to others.
CrazedGemer - The only problem is when someone makes a selfish choice it doesn’t just affect them….it affects their entire family. If a father is playing a GAME 24/7 then who is raising his children? When they ask Dad for help with their homework (real life stuff) and he says later and later never comes then what? I’m happy that you LOVE to play WOW and so does 7 million other people but I bet there is 3 times that many people who HATE it and think it’s ruining their lives. That game is designed to be addictive. It’s like feeding a slot machine for hours and you just can’t leave it because the person who sits down after you will hit. The game is the same way….you can’t leave because you may miss a good drop! It seems as though many people who play it can’t play it in moderation….it’s all or nothing.
And by the way…you’ve visited a site that was made for people on the other side of the addiction so we’re allowed to complain!
Widows, try these good sites.
http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/WOW_widow/
and this
http://www.gamerwidow.com/
Fantastic people that understand.
Former Widow
The male and female mentality differs greatly, woman are more “in touch with their emotions” while men barely care about their emotions.Both are an advantage in their own way, with less emotional imput men have more ability to make a logical decision, woman have more emotional imput and are better in a relationship because of it. This also unfortunatly causes a lack of understanding between the sexes.
This of course also means that a conversation about how your day went seems much less interesting to men than that Dwarf Paladin offering to go to Naxxramas, while you would rather spend time talking over dinner than go to Arathi basin.
This does -NOT- mean I support their lack of attention toward you. Nor do I see playing World of Warcraft as a problem. I doubt I have made any change in your opinion, but thought I would post my own.
I beleive you should all look at what you yourselves do for fun, and ask yourself if your boyfreind would want to. This means go into specifics, for example:
Xwoman goes to see movies in her spare time. This does seem like it is somthing her boyfreind would enjoy, but what movies does she see? Would her boyfriend really like to see Mona Lisa Smiles?
I also suggest that you point out to your boyfriend that while World of WarCraft is an enjoyable game, it is still only a game, it does not get you anywere in life and more time should be spent working or with you.
Of course I must again say this is ONLY AN OPINION and I can not be held responsible for reprecusions or basing a response to your problems around it.
Hello. I honestly had no idea there was a support system like this. I think this is wonderful. My situation is that my hubby bought WOW about 2 weeks ago and since then has leveled up to a 30 level character, (that lets you know just how much time he’s spending playing). I really have no problem with my hub playing WOW, I just wish he could do it in moderation, but like many other games, I’m seeing that it doesn’t seem possible to play in moderation. I understand that he’s extremely competitive and wants to be great at what he does, and obviously is if he can level that high that fast, so I try desperately to be understanding. I really do. But two weeks without my hubby, the father of my children, is taking a toll on my emotional stability. Yes, he’s here at home as opposed to being gone, but I can’t communicate with him. Sure, I can talk to him, but it’s not the same. So, now, I alternate between mood swings of extreme anger toward the situation, to an extremely empty feeling in which I just spontaneously start crying, to complete and total overwhelment in trying to take care of the needs of our home, my job, and my schoolwork (yes, I’m going to college).
I know that his obsession with this game will pass eventually, but I also know that even when that happens, there will be another game to pull him in.
I guess I don’t really know why I came to this forum. I don’t want to sit around and complain about it, and I certainly don’t want to change my hubby into something he isn’t. I guess just getting my little comment out to the world is enough for me. Its like someone else said earlier in a post, the b/f g/f thing passes, but don’t let this ruin your marriage. A marriage lasts a lifetime, something this game surely cannot do.
Hey guys, I thought you all may want to look at these signs. People who are complete addicts DO NEED professional help. I also read that most doctors that treat computer/game/internet addictions treast them as drug addictions and use MEDICATION. It is that serious. Please read.
Computer / Internet Addiction - Self Diagnosis
Ten Symptoms of Computer Addiction (by James Fearing, Ph.D.)
A demonstrated “loss of control” when trying to stop or limit the amount of time on the computer. (Breaking promises to self or others. Promising to quit or cut down and not being able to do so)
Being dishonest or minimizing the extent of the time you stay on the computer, or covering up or being dishonest about what activities you participate in when on the computer.
Negative consequences experienced by the computer user or his/her friends or family as a direct result of time or activities spent on the computer.
Participation in high risk or normally unacceptable behaviors when using the computer. Compromising your morals and values based on the opportunity to remain anonymous and protected on the computer. (a good test for this is to ask yourself if your spouse, partner or family would approve of what you were doing on the computer)
An overdeveloped sense of importance for the computer in ones life. Defending your right to use the computer as much as desired, regardless of the fact that people in your life are feeling left out and neglected. (denial of the problem and justification; not being able to hear or feel what the other people are saying regarding your computer behavior)
Mixed feelings of euphoria (a “rush”), combined with feelings of guilt brought on by either the inordinate amount of time spent on the computer or the abnormal behavior acted out while using the computer.
Feelings of depression or anxiety when something or someone shortens your time or interrupts your plans to use the computer.
Preoccupation with the computer and computer activities when you are not using the computer (thinking about the computer and its activities when doing something else; i.e. having a family dinner, working on project deadline etc.)
Finding yourself using the computer at times when you are feeling uncomfortable, irritated, or sad about something happening in your life. ( feeling uncomfortable in your relationship, so you will self medicate and “hide out” on the computer) Using time on the computer to become externally focused outside yourself as a way to avoid facing what is happening in your life, and avoiding feeling the appropriate feelings inside yourself. (self medicating)
Experiencing financial concerns or problems in your life as a result of money being spent on computer hardware, computer on-line charges, or any other costs associated with computers. (Spending money on computer related items which should have been allocated to other normal living expenses)
Peace Love and Luck,
-J
I do not normally post stuff, I am more of a reader. I felt compelled to post here du to some events that have taken place in my life relating to the game of World of Warcraft. I am actually a former player of the game, played for almost two years, purchased the game shortly after it had been released. I am married for 15 years and have two boys ages 13 and 11.
I happened across this forum in my research of game addiction and the problem that can result from it. As mentioned I played the game myself, I had two level 60’s. I started a guild and at one point we where the largest guild on our PvP server. I had anything I wanted in the game, we farmed the instances, all my regular guild members where decked out in epic armor, as far as the game goes I was on top of the world. Now having made all those accomplishments came with a cost in the real world.
I was playing the game all the time! I work from 7-4 M-F and would log into the game as soon as I got home and play sometimes past midnight. On the weekends, I would play until 4-5AM and go to sleep for a couple hours and get back on. I played the game every single opportunity that I had. I neglected many of my responsibilities around the house and with my family. If I had to do something outside the game, it would be done with great haste. My priority was to always be in the game. I would eat in front of the computer and restroom breaks always coincided with breaks in the game.
We actually had two accounts in the house because sharing the game with my kids became and issue. At some point in time my wife asked me, “what the big deal was with this game and how could I spend so much time playing it?” I sat her down to the computer one day, logged her into the kids account and helped her to create a character. I showed her how to move around and interact with the game and let her on her own. She played a lot. While she was discovering the game I was on the verge of burnout. I turned over control of my guild to someone else and gradually left the game.
I left the game for many reasons but the biggest problem I had with the game is that it has no end. Even when you conquer something, there is something bigger and better waiting around the corner. In addition, the developers add content. So even if you reach a point in the game that you feel all task have been completed, the designers are working away at the next thing to be added to the game to keep you coming back.
So anyway, yea I left the game for good. I even sold my account on Ebay. In the end I had gotten back all my money ever spend on the game. I felt good about at least having compensated myself for all the work I put into my toons.
Now the problem that brings me here, I created a monster when I introduced my wife to the game, she had become obsessed with it. She was playing everyday and on the weekends. She would not do stuff when we had the opportunities, like going to see a movie or going out to eat. She wanted to play the game. She made friends in the game and wanted to chat with them all the time. Some of the conversations that she had with some of the people in the game bordered on Cybersex. She exchanged email addresses with most of them and soon was exchanging phone numbers. Most all this activity was taking place unbeknownst to me. Part of the problem was the fact that I still wanted to play games, just not WOW. I played a game called Day of Defeat, it is a first person shooter. The thing I enjoyed the most about the game was the ability to just quit whenever you felt like it. You could play for an hour or you could play for 5 minutes. The game, like most games does not require you to devote your life to it.
After time I discovered some of the emails and conversations my wife was engaging in and confronted her about it. Her reaction was like that of a drug attic. She lied about it, was very defensive and took measures to ensure that her ability to play the game could not be controlled by me. She actually bought a copy of the game, had her lvl 60 character transferred to the new account and installed the new copy of the game at her parent’s house. She paid for all of this with a bank account that I did not know about.
She was willing to give up everything for that game. She had been talking to people in the game about meeting them. She had been exchange photos with people and talking to them on the phone. She had gone form playing the game to chasing fantasies. The past few months have been strange. She has stopped playing the game after what could be considered an intervention on my part.
I have done a lot of research about this and found that it is becoming very common. I witnessed 1st hand people in my guild that lost girlfriends/boyfriends and jobs because of the game.
I will provide one of many sites I have come across in my for those of you that think there could be a problem but are not sure.
Good luck.
To James
Thank you for your post. My husband plays all the time. I recently found out he set up an email account I had no knowledge of. What I know now is that he “met” someone whom he “loves”. They have in fact, had cybersex as well as phone sex. We have been married for 20 years and have two daughters.
It’s been a rough couple of months, but we are trying to work through this. Like I said, it all came as a shock to me-the wife is always the last to know. I never knew how true this statement was. I was busy with the house, the kids, my job, but I was still paying attention to him, when he wasn’t gaming.
I know I am not perfect, but who is? If he was not satisfied in our marriage, he made no mention of it to me.
Well anyway, some days I do not even know what to do about it. He still plays. I am not ready to walk away from 20 years of a marriage for something that has happened within the past 6-9 months, but I am at a loss as to how to deal with this addiction.
hello fellow people im a lady with the same problem first it was
e.q then wow and that started ten years ago and let me tell you that it hirts when they dont come to bed and cant do anything with the kids three of them all ages and yes he works 8/4.30 so do i i work a couple jobs and do all the kids stuff and i also clean house do all the cooking and from 4.30 to 2.30at night he plays wow and yells at everyone and thinks couse he brings home the pay check he can do what he wonts and play along as you wont start a fight i say im going to throw your computer in the trash and he gets so mad and i cant stop laughing that a thing like the computer is more inportant then the family and you think that people that made these machines and these games would know how many lifes that it has effected would they of thought twice no and our family member that has this problem cant see them selfs as a problem theres no dead ends on the sceen there a new game its all a new beging.it starts over it a on going chip. i love the power going out i like the net down.
i like to now what hes like note a charater.he walks in from work and say nothing turns on the computer and changes is clothes and thats it play time 10 years when it end it doesnt….
I’m not sure why I have decided to add to this post. This is a first time. I found this site because I recently started seeing someont who spends an incredible amount of time playing WOW. I didn’t understand the addiction that this game could create and it caused me to google World of Warcraft addictions…and that is what brings me here.
After reading the previous posts I’m quite confident in saying that this guy I’ve been saying definately has a gaming addiction…not just WOW but others as well.
I’ve been seeing him for almost 2mos and while we have a good time together I feel like the games have definately gotten in the way of us getting to know eachother.
Here is my issue/question: I really like this guy. He shows me that he likes me too but is unwilling to vocalize any kind of commitments. He plays these games constantly. I really don’t mind, I understand the gamer mentality…but this just seems really extreme. Should I get out while I still can? Do you think it is possible that his love for the game is what keeps me from being able to get close to him? Please let me know what you think…
Not sure why i am on this site, im in a raid and i hear this player state ” Yeah, my wife just joined the WoWWidows.” Mostly the only replies were “Ouch.” and “That sucks.” So i got bored and googled it, just i dont know…interested. Now, not saying any specific age for safety over the internet, but im a kid. I play WoW with my brother and i hear my mom constantly bickering at us to get off the stupid computer and go do our “House responsibilities.” I guess the same concept applies to the whole mom/off-spring to the girlfriend/boyfriend. I got interested in this whole thing because relitives of mine are getting divorced because the husband plays to many mmorpg’s. This is probably not exactly and “Age appropriate site” but some of the stories i read were actually quite interesting.
Now i feel bad for the Wow Widows, i really do, but if you can’t get your husband/w/e to get off for an hour or so then something is wrong on one or both parts of the relationship. Now on things called raids, where the gameplay can stack up to 1-5 hours depending on guild/instance, It is extremely hard to get the player from the computer. I used to raid when i was miserable sick, just have a pan and puke into it while i raided. This obviously isn’t like your normal PS2/PS3 game, this is a life to somepeople.
Recently i have gone from a star fullback on my schools football team to a “WoW addict” who sits on the computer for at least 4-7 hours after school. I became out of shape and went from a 6:12 mile to a 8:10. Recently i have gotten back in shape but still maintain a Wow schedule.
Now when your logging onto WoW, there are random hints that pop up on the screen. One of which says “Take everything in moderation, even World of Warcraft.” To much is not healthy for you, i didn’t realize how out of shape i was until my mother banned me from WoW and got me and workout schedule.
Now i don’t really belong on this site in the least bit, but i know WoW and the people who play on there (Mostly at least 7 years older than I and have kids to tend to.) The remarks that comes from the raids are usually “Hold on guys the wife is b*tching.” or “Brb guys gotta put the kids down to bed.” If my father cared about a video game more than his children, i would be very upset.
Now im not on here to complain, and im not taking “sides” with the widows or the players, but take it in moderation, it helps both sides. If you take it in moderation than you get more time with your family/w/e and you don’t burn out your interest is fast
I know these things because i used to sneak out of bed and stay up half the night raiding. Would be tired the next day and fall behind on my schoolwork, which applies the same to paperwork at w/e job you have.
In case your wondering:
- 60 undead warrior (full tier 2)
- 53 human mage
-32 dwarf palidan
note: For those of you who don’t know what “tier” is there are 3 tiers and they are the best armor sets in the game, and take months and maybe years to get from the point of level 1.
I was looking for some online WoW message boards and I came across, WoW widows. I thought what? I looked and there is really something that is called WoW widows. Then I find this sight. I cant believe there is such thing. Come on ladies, give the men a break. Cut the cord..do you have to spend every waking minute with the man of your “dreams”. I am a 30 years old MARRIED woman and my husband and I both play WoW as couple time. We love to play. Its awesome!!! We take turns and we even watch other play to maybe help one another do something that maybe he or I didnt know where it was. We even still have our time in bed and we still love each other even more. Look, I understand you may not like video games. I dont either to be honest but I was the one who bought WoW and I was the one who got my husband hooked. I just wanted something different then trying to be the next Martha Stewart. Sorry, not all women enjoy watching Racheal Ray or martha Stewart. I can also promise you that if you keep ragging, he is going to play more. Not because he wants to but because you just will not leave it alone. Give it a rest! Want to spend time with him? Then sit down besides him and watch him play. Ask him and be interested in it!!! He might actually enjoy YOU being interested in him for a change. Why does the man always have to be the one that gets up and shows the attention. Look, I know and understand that WoW can be so addictive that just one more lvl honey can be annoying. But change the rule book a little. You play…you watch him….sit down with him and say hey, I dont care you playing but can we come together and agree when there is time for me, the kids, or the house. Pretty soon, I bet if you quit the nagging, then WoW, may not be an issue anymore. If he doesnt resist and love you enough to understand that your trying to be interested in his likes or dislikes, then maybe you should find another ave. of attention. My husband and I both will stop in a heartbeat to tend to eithe rht kids or the dogs. Hell, we might die….but we dont let the game over power the love that is here. So, work on it and get interested for once in him!!!! Even though it may bore you to death!!!! Trust me, he may thank you later for it!!!
Also, I just want to add one more thing. If your wife or husband cheats on you because they met someone on WoW. Then there is a problem with your relationship. If he or she was going to cheat then dont blame a game. Its the internet, people find people. So, if you suspect your loved one cheating, then maybe its time to see what needs to change and I am talking about the gamer not the so called widow. It takes two to tango!!!
So, if you both get home from work at 6pm and he sits down on the computer are we meant to sit with them? What about dinner? the kids? homework? bath time? bedtime? chores?
And I have played the game, I have a lvl 40 BUT I have a real life and working full-time and children do not mix.
My children come before a bloody game and always will and in every aspect sooooooooooo by 9.00pm I am tired.
Now since you do play the game you know full well that to get anywhere at the end you need to spend time. I know that even when you raid you have to spend the other times getting ready for a raid. Oh and raids!!!
Here in Aus they are usually on a Saturday and they go for about 6 hours. So what do the kids do then? Watch TV?
Who mows the lawn, does the food shopping, gets the kids to sport?
It’s great that your Husband does these things but not all do. The “guilies” need them. Oh and also I think there is nothing more boring than clicking the same 3 buttons over and over again for hours and days on end. I need more mental and physical stimulation than that.
I don’t expect my partner to stop playing but I do expect him to be an adult and face his responsibilities first.
Hey, maybe I should start drinking if my partners an alcoholic, or doing crack if they are addicted to that?
Or maybe one person needs to be responsible for the rest of the family.
Oh, and maybe you haven’t heard of the many times a Mum has left Dad in charge of the kids while she goes out and comes back to find Dad so immersed in the game that one of the kids has got into poison?
Or a three year old has got a chair and opened the front door and went for a walk.
I know women where this has happened. And they married great, sweet fantastic guys until they started playing wow and doing the end raids.
To the victims of WoW..
I used to play the game like a religion so to speak, and I’ve been through the addiction. I’ve been through the phase of neglecting freinds, family, and responsibilities. I’m just going to tell you what I think would help get your husbands/boyfriends get off of the game once in a while. WoW is the most addicting thing I have ever done. I think what got me the most was, you have to work hard in the game to achieve certain things, whether it be a stronger character(level), or equipment you can obtain. You get a sense of accomplishment when you do these things. BUT, these things never end! The game never ends! So you are stuck in this stupid system. I used to “skate” out of events, invitations, and even skip work to play WoW. And my Girlfriend at the time hated it. I lost interest in having sex with her (lol) and really lost interest in doing things we used to do. And whenever she tried to talk to me about it, I just found it as nagging. So, I may be wrong, but what I reccomend for anyone who has the problem with thier spouse / friend playing too much WoW is, try to not insult or nag them. Try to make them enjoy the little time they DO spend with you. Also, don’t make any rash decisions, or threats as an attempt to peel them off of WoW. It takes a little time, but they will slowly realize the effect of the addiction. For instance, my friend (recovering WoW addict) always tried to get me to hang out with him, or go bar hopping like we always did. But I saw that as a Chore, to keep him happy. But then he just started adding the words “if you have time” or ” whenever is a good time for you” to all of his invitations. He just did things without me sometimes too. Little by little, when people would tell me how much fun they had and that “I should have been there” it started to add up. So I think you should just try not to pressure them too much, and they should slowly get off of the computer and do things in real life. Hope that helped some.
OK….Let me put this more simple:
First of all:
male or female that is addicted to WoW! Do remember your prorities first!!! If it means getting out of bed early to either, clean the house or get something done so that you can get your time in on the computer and finish a quest, then do it. If your wife seems to be doing everything and your just sitting there saying…”honey one more lvl”…let that be a clue that you are putting the game first. You may die, but if the wife or hubby or kids need you and you just have to let those evil murlocs kill you, then thats just the sacrifice you have to make. Remember, you can still get up and play again. Help the wife or husband and you may not here any bickering about how much longer your going to play will come ringin in.
Second:
Male or females that are nagging because hubby or wife didnt give you enough attention last night or this morning, quit nagging. Must you need that much attention from your SO 24/7.
Thats the problem I have. My husband and I live on a military post. My husband has several married friend that come over because they got tired of the wife nagging. Nagging not over just a game but maybe they drank to much beer or hec they drank a beer. I dont understand women or men who fuss just because you take the time to do something for yourself. I have a friend that I swear thinks she has to look like Barbie and live like barbie. It doesnt bother me but thats her. She spends a lot of money and TIME on getting herself to look good. She spends an hour with me at the gym and then she spends every week an hour at the hair salon and weekly nail treatment and I mean it..this woman…everything she does, she spends all her extra time on making herself look so pretty. It driver her hubby insane though. He appreciates the fact that she wants to look good but he does not appreciate the fact that he has to look at the calendar and see what appts she has so he can maybe tie in some couple time. Yet, she nags about how long he played Wow!! My husband told me that this husband came into work and he said he played WoW 30 minutes and she started her complaining. That is who i am talking to. Everyone that say they are falling “victim” of wow or a WoW “widow”…..come on…is it because he or she found something she likes to do other then you???? Sorry just my opinion!!!
Now if your SO really is not taking a shower or not paying the bills..ETC…..then yes there is a problem but that is who the real victim is and needs a support group…not the person watching it happen!!!
Yah, don’t get me wrong lol, I still play tons of WoW, but I have my priorities straight. I don’t have kids and stuff though, so I can’t relate to that one. Also, it’s good to remember that if your husband / wife wasn’t playing WoW, they probably wouldn’t be doing anything better.. They would be all over the lazyboy watching tv.
I agree with you Kel. I love to scrapbook and I even have a whole room dedicated to just that hobby. Sometimes I get so lost in my pages that I lose track of time and its my hubby having to remind me that its time to do something and here I am saying..just one more page hunny..ha
just wondering…is it acceptable 4 some one to play WoW two hours every second day, then not touch the computer for the rest of the time? And i agree! i play WoW, and i make a point to NEVER be a hardcore gamer, i only play it with people i know like my friends when we cant contact eachother by any other means!
my sympathy goes out to all those WoW widows…wat assholes hardcore players can be… i suggest ending it!
Me and my girlfriend have been playing WoW for 3 years, we both love the game and both know there are limitations on how long you can play.
We both have a healthy relationship and make time to spend with each other. The people who play for hours and hours on end have no life and therefore need a slap behind the head.
For instance, I have a level 53 warrior, he’s been 53 for a month now not even advancing in level for the fact of the matter is I spend time with the girlfriend and Work at Microsoft so I don’t have the time to really invest into a game at this stage of my life.
You must make time for those you love or you’ll loose them forever!
If I was going to play WoW I would talk to my girlfriend and let her know if it’s ok if I spend soso amount of hours ect.
If she was’nt ok with that, then no game plain and simple , guys and gals IT”S JUST A GAME NOT LIFE REMEMBER THAT. A game cannot bring you happiness.
Dorail you are so right!!!
just saying dorail, that the reson those silly addicts play those games is because it brings them happiness. And i have to say, i find it gives me entertainment, which is the equilivant of hapiness, even though i am a casual gamer…good strategyfor keeping your girl!
If your man would rather spend time in a video game than with you, where do you think the problem actually lies?
Perhaps a solution would be to agree that he or she may only play on the weekends, but that they can play as much as they like, with each day begining and ending at 12:00 A.M. when he or she should still be sleeping from working on Friday? This would allow 5 days out of the week for mutualy enjoyable things while allowing each of you 2 days of doing “your own thing”.
Hey Ladies,
Feel your pain (have been enduring the endless hours of hubby’s wow addiction for well over a year now).
How about getting his username and password then setting up a “Game schedule” under the new “Parental controls” that Blizzard has created. Do a search for WOW parental controls. If you do this the game will only allow the user to log on and play for the prescribed times. It was created for parents and kids, but heck I figure if they can’t behave like grown men and monitor the amount of time they spend on there, then they deserve to be treated like children.
Good luck!
i drove in LA traffic to see my boyfriend…and now he is playing WoW.
IS ANYONE ELSE SUSPICIOUS OF WOWCHIC?
I THINK WOWCHIC IS AN EMPLOYEE OF BLIZZARD
MRX’s suggestion may be slightly too extreme. Forcing them to play a certain amount of time could cause a larger problem from the feeling that you are taking control of their life. You must remember that your relationship is a mutual choice and if either party decides to fortfeit it there is no option for the other party. This of course is more complicated in a marriage but the same basics apply.
So here’s a point of view from a casual gamer who gets tons of shit from your douchebag women about playing warcraft.
If I come home from work and log onto WoW there is ALWAYS a good reason for it. I’m casual, I don’t “raid” and I’m mostly on there to talk to real life friends of mine. So here’s the deal ladies. I already explained this to my girlfriend and she refused to oblige so she can look at the back of my damn head.
1) If I come home from work and you are sitting there watching Lifetime? Yeah fuck that. It’s WoW time.
2) I’m playing WoW and I can hear you taking a shit in the bathroom and then 5 minutes later you want me to have sex with you? Yeah, I’m not addicted…. I just don’t want you getting shitcrumbs on my sheets. Shower and try again. (True story)
3) You force me to take you shopping with MY money that I worked for, go take dancing lessons with you, go see crappy chick movies with you, cuddle after sex, not beat you etc… But if I play WoW for mor than 15 minutes I’m neglecting you…. Yeah…..
So in closing….. Get a clue. Most of your boyfriends and husbands are addicted and probably wouldn’t mind getting off there and spending some time with you. You’re just a needy bitch and want them to do everything for you and spend every waking second with you and that’s their way of saying, “yeah whatever skank, go eat some ice cream and crie more”.
all of you who keep trying to put the blame on the wife “If your man would rather spend time in a video game than with you, where do you think the problem actually lies?” need to just STFU. a man is ignoring the wife and kiddies, and you want to blame them?
yeah, real life gets a little old sometimes, but a real man works through that, and deals with difficulties with the woman, and most importantly, with the children.
luckily for us women, there are plenty of men who don’t get immersed in a fake life, who do see us as interesting. you gaming geeks need to remember that.
I spend plenty of time with my girlfriend. In fact I spend too much time. I spend more time than i freakin want just cause she wants me to. So how about this… Everytime your man does something you want to do? He gets to do what he wants… Probably WoW, in my case it’s usually work on my car…. My girlfriend them both equally but at least if I go work on my car I don’t have to deal with bitching at me the entire time.
as far as a gaming geek is concerned amy, nekkid night elf >> bitchy girlfriend.
lots of people don’t get that this is a hobby for many folk, I certainly don’t stop my significant other from her gardening (ZOMG she prefers vegtables over me!! *carrot envy*) or photography interests, she doesn’t interfere with my game or reading interests.
Joel: I am not emplyed with Blizzard, but do you think they will give me a job because I need one..LOL!!
As far as my opinions. I probably am the only female who feels that way. My mom always said, my girl should have been a boy and my boy should have been a girl. I was always the mud ridn, tree climbing, ad matchbox girl everyone seemed to adore but later thought she wuold outgrow. I just love video games and so does my husband. We never anything away from each other. I also dont need his attention 24/7. To be honest, I love getting his attention but it would drive my nuts if it was 24/7. I dont ask to be smothered. My husband brings me flowers every week to. There are different things you can do instead of bitch because hubby spent “your” time with the wife. Sorry, just how I feel!!
unbeliever and billdo…you guys seem to be balancing properly, so us “bitchy” wives are not referring to you, so don’t take it personally.
you know how many times in the past year we have gone to bed together?? i could count on one hand.
yet, he constantly bitches that he doesn’t get enough sex. geee i wonder why.
stop taking us “widows” comments personally, and don’t blame us, unless you are doing what we are bitching about.
i agree, some of the widows do seem like nagging bitches. i was on a site where a girl was mad because the guy “even posts on the forums at work” wtf? big deal. and for the record, i don’t want his ass sitting on the couch watching lifetime and bringing me flowers every day. he is too romantic already, i don’t want hugs and kisses, i just want a member of the family. i want someone else to see the 3 year old misbehave and act on it, instead of me asking for help, and not being heard over the headphones, so screaming for it, then getting anger bc i interrupted him.
my husband is a guild leader of a huge clan and it takes up sooo much time. and since he is the gl, he can’t just not get on, so it is a big problem in my relationship. i feel for some of these women, i understand what they are going through. and for some of you to belittle the women and blame it on them is just thoughtless and rude.
and wowchic, you need to STFU too, i agree, we need to let our SOs have hobbies….but you obviously are as dense as these other men who don’t get that the men we are bitching about are going way overboard.
the disclaimer up top here needs to be reminded,
You don’t go to the circus, jump into the center ring and start doing tricks with the lions, ffs
you don’t have a clue what some women have it like. they are single parents.
i have a friend, one of my hubbies co workers/member of the guild, his wife….this man is so much worse than my hubby is. he is literally on all day long, all night….his kids don’t get any attention, he eats in the computer room. she has said she doens’t want to give him an ultimatum, bc he would choose the computer world. so you don’t get it, stay out of the fucking circus, you obviously don’t have a clue, so keep your opinion to yourself.
LOL hey…opinions are like Assholes..everyone has one!
Hmmm, needy bitch huh?
I have worked full-time and brought up 2 kids since their father died 8 yrs ago single handedly…before he came along. I know more about cars, paying bills, lawn mowing, bin day…pretty much everything really except computers. There he is King. I am very independant and always have been.
And you know what? I was a severe wow widow. He would play about 60-70 hours a week, do nothing around the house etc.
I understand hobbies. I have my own. But I make sure RL is handled first.
I broke up with him because I may as well of been single. I wanted a man who acted like a man, not a kid that couldn’t do jack shit but game! He finally woke up and admitted that he used it as an excuse to be lazy.
Now we are back together and he is very romantic but something was lost…killed… and he hates the fact that he let his gaming do that to us.
To the casual gamers…please game. Have fun.
But to those that chose to be in a relationship then be in one!!! Don’t watch it , participate! If you are not happy don’t just bitch about it, be a man and break up with her!
And to those parents out there that game 40-60 hours a week……GET OFF THE FUCKIN COMPUTER!!!!!!
[…] Di problemi di coppia ne esistono parecchi e di ogni tipo, ma quello che vi sto per raccontare è davvero bizzarro… Chiunque abbia provato a giocare ad un qualsiasi gioco di ruolo on-line (MMORPG) saprà benissimo quanto siano importanti le ore di gioco per aumentare il proprio skill (forza gioco). Così in concomitanza con la larga diffusione dei giochi di ruolo si è spesso sentito parlare pure di videodipendenza. Si perchè arrivare ad assuefarsi e alienarsi di fronte ad un gioco sembra sia un problema che rigurda molti. World of Warcraft è uno dei MMORPG più famosi nel mondo, conta milioni di giocatori costantemente on-line e di recente si è pure venuto a sapere che circa 1 giocatore su 3 è regolarmente sposato o fidanzato nella vita reale… A questo punto la domanda nasce spontanea: ma che faranno quei poveri partner ignorati dalla persona amata che passa tutto il suo tempo libero a giocare a WoW??? Circa un anno fa è nato Warcraft Widows, un forum di supporto per persone che hanno problemi di questo genere. E’ un posto dove questi poveri sventurati possono sfogarsi e discutere con altra gente di tutto il mondo che, come loro, hanno il partner, figlio/a o amico/a videodipendendi (World of Warcraft in questo caso). Ho fatto un giro tra i commenti e ne ho selezionato alcuni: […]ho anche provato a giocare con lui è devo dire che l’ho trovato divertente, ma non nel modo come intende lui. […]Ho capito la gravità del problema quando siamo arrivati a non far sesso per più di una settimana e alla fine ha preferito andare ad un party di World of Warcraft piuttosto che fare sesso con me! pensavo che una soluzione poteva essere di ascoltare i suoi discorsi sul gioco e fingermi interessata, ma come posso fingere per la millesima volta che mi racconta di qulcosa che è successo e quanti soldi (Gold) ha dovuto spendere per recuperare… Mi viene voglia di tagliarmi la gola e far schizzare il sangue nella sua direzione! […] mi siedo nuda davanti a lui elemosinandolo di prestarmi attenzione e tutto ciò mi fa sentire un oggetto che lui può avere quando è annoiato dal gioco che per lui è sempre e comunque più interessante. […] Non mi preoccupo del fatto che giochi al computer, mi preoccupa il tempo che sta a giocare… […]
hallo.
im a 22 yo guy who lives in europe. im in a relationship for almost 5 years and we are planeing to get married and have a good life together. based on our time together and our feelings about yeahother and about our relationship we both belive we will have that. im am a gamer with some experience in pc games, atm i feel that im pretty old to play on the pc and games dont feel that good anymore. it was fun while it lasted. my gf is not into pc games, its not her particular cup of tea i suppose.
ill tell you straight away that i didnt feel sympathetic towards people who cant solve their own problems and rather bitch (dont take it as bad as it sounds) on forums or so on about them.
but as i read your post i realised that you reached a state of confusion, the sort all of us experience in our lifes, and are frustrated. i remember now pasing trough situations very similar to yours and i remember how devestated they make you feel. the sleepless nights, the the feeling of insecurity, the list goes on.
belive me when i tell you that the reason someone chooses to play wow, or whatever (fishing, etc), over spending time with you is because they like it more. im sorry, it is like that. and i believe you already knew that. dont lie to yourself. accepting the truth is hard but its the only way. the sooner you do it the better for you, and for your bf.
another kate, im sorry about your husbands death, i admire you for raising your kids alone. i know its hard to find a man as a mother, i know someone first hand and its been hard for her. i pretty much think you did the right thing and that you are an example for women in your situation. dont setle for less than you deserve and give your children a stepfather they can be proud of.
eric, its not really wow, its your gf dude. sux to be treated like that instead of her just beeing honest to you. i tried to make a unstable relationship work once, it ended badly.
sometimes you just gotta let it go.
for the girls who are denied sex for wow: its only gonna get worse. there are other cool people you’re not meating because your beging sex from a guy who rather jerk of to pixels. his loss, move on.
for the ppl who just post something to insult others: you took the time to post crap when you could have said a kind word or give some advise if you have any. you’re a spamer. poor show!
sometimes its time to let go. good luck! (sorry about typing mistakes, its late)
[…] Following in the footsteps of the Everquest Widows group that was created way back in the nineties,WOW_widow was formed in 2005 to provide solace to all those ignored loved ones and boasts a hefty 2228 members. Check out some of the comments on an article about WOW_widow on afkgamer.com: I tried the game to please him, and I actually did find it fun, but not THAT fun. the end came after we hadn’t had sex for a week, and he chose to GO TO A WOW PARTY, INSTEAD OF HAVING SEX WITH ME. Its one thing to take interest in something your boyfriend or husband does but if I have to pretend to enjoy the 1000th conversation about how excited he was when something dropped or how much gold he sold it for I think I’ll slit my throat and aim the blood in his direction. I sit in bed naked begging him to give me attention so I don’t feel like an object that he just got bored with and found something better to entertain him. I do not mind if he plays, it is how much he plays that bothers me. […]
I can’t believe how stupid you all are. i only read about halfway down this thing but for fucks sake your all a bunch of morons.
I’m a WoW player and personally I play probably only for maybe 4 or 5 hours a week depending on how much free time I have. Usually not much. but what i don’t get is why the women on here put up with the other halves ignoring them, seriously grow a spine. If I ever got that bad I’d hope my girlfriend would have the nerve to say something to me or even leave me depending on my reaction. Going by all the stories i have read on here so far it really doesn’t surprise me that things are going so badly for all of you because not only does it sound like you haven’t tried to figure out why your other half plays so much but also because it seems to me that not one of you have even done anything about it. For those of you that have exhausted all options I truly feel sorry for you and hope you find someone that wont treat you like dirt but as for the rest of you I really don’t care because as far as I’m concerned your just as bad as the problem.
So good luck to you all and I hope you find the courage to fix the problem. oh and to the gamers posting on here your not really helping but just showing your own stupidity.
ben i see where your coming from…but honestly i have had so many arguments about WoW with my bf and told him ow i feel n told him that its coming between us and everything and he stops going on it when im there for about a week n as soon as i seem to be ok with him its like he thinks ah she ok now i start bk on WoW again! and it just keeps going round in circles! i no wot u mean by grow a spine and maybe leave but when u love someone so much u carnt jusy up and leave because if it was that easy me and alot of other women that have commented on this site would have done this already! i have even tried to like WoW myself by making a character and tryin to play it…but i just carnt get in to it…fare-enough he can i really dont mind him playin WoW at all infact im glad he found an interest in something he likes doing…but its the amount of time he spends of WoW its like 24/7. i have days where i dont see him because he does raids or wotever they are…n he sed i wont see u on them days but when i do see u i wont go on wow while your here…but then again he goes on Wow while im there n i can argue with him while im blue in the face but it makes no difference i have even sent him some of these comments to say look WoW is addictive n its a problem but he’s like no its not i could quit 2mora but he never does!
all us women want is not to spoil there fun on WoW…but abit of attention from our lovers….shown abit of love and not took for granted and not all of converstaions to be about WoW and the time spent together not just been about having sex!and to have the amount of effort put into WoW put into the relationship as well even tho a relationship should have more effort put into it than a game. becuase if my bf put as much effort and as much love into our relationship as he did to WoW then our relationship would be 100% perfect!
any women that want to talk about the WoW problem and got msn my addy is
foxylady758@hotmail.com
be nice to here from someone that is going thro the same as me
gd luk to everyone with the same prob as me
and no affence to the WoW players but please see it from our point of view
Hey all!
Well.. my boyfriend is totally addicted to his f*cking stupid useless game..
I dont hate the game.. I dont care if he wants to play .. I just think that it isnt just for fun anymore… it´s something sickly!!!! I want to talk to him, but I cant.. I want his opinion in some situation and to count on him, but never can.. because he´s always playing
I dont think about breaking up the relationship.. but somethings is hard.. you feel like being less important.. And he plays it when he´s in my house!
Well.. I dont think about it now.. but if the thing still growing.. then I dunno what to do.. One think I know I wont do: fight to a game to stay ith him.. If he wants to stay like that.. he’ll stay alone or with someone who acept it well.. not me!
It seems like a karma in my life, because my ex bf was addicted to CS!
GOSH!
I dont like RPG games.. I tried to like.. I played DOTA a few times.. but Wow is boring.. I did play CS.. but didnt like it neither
And the last but not the least.. he asked me to give him the expansion, or whateva does it calls, of this game for Christmas..
p.s.: i´m brazilian.. so u had for sure read many many english errors. sorry..
I can’t believe some of the comments I’ve read here today. Some are sad, some are rude and some are well sorry to put it this way but just plain stupid. My husband & I and our 18 year old son all play WoW together. We love it. We belong to the same guild and have made some friends through the game, yes real life friends that we see on a weekly basis outside the game.
We have our family time, go out to dinner together, to the movies, watch tv and other things. My son has his friends at school and goes out on the weekends with them. My husband & I have our private time also away from the game. We do play the game for about 4 hours every night but we also know the difference between fantasy and real life. I was jealous for a while when he played computer games alot. I didn’t see what the attraction was. Then he gave me a game for Christmas one year. I tried it, Zoo Tycoon, and I was hooked. I then some of the other games he and my son love to play. I was hooked. I’m glad this is something we all have in common and can enjoy together.
I have a close relationship with my son that alot of Mothers don’t have. I’m very lucky. I will continue to play WoW and other games like it and will encourage my husband and son to also pursue their interests as well.
Try it, you may find out you like it. Give your spouses the benefit of the doubt.
Kitty - active WoW player
Level 60 Human Priest
Level 60 Dwarf Paladin
Level 42 Night Elf Hunter
Level 24 Night Elf Druid
Level 20 Troll Shaman
Apologies for my typing errors and omissions in my last post.
Kitty
fare-enough you play it with your husband and son which is great
good on u if u enjoy playing it but the thing that im tryin to say is my bf should respect that i dont like the game like he doesnt like things i do but the difference is i aint hooked on the things i du i make time for us but its like he makes time but only when he wants something like sex or something like that…i really dont mind him playin the game at all and i havnt got anything against people who play the game thats there choice. but when it feels like your bf is putting a game before u something cliks in your mind and makes you thing is this normal…am i duin something wrong .ect. and really i shouldnt be made to feel like that.
my bf has all day to play this game while im doing my exams and he has most of the night too as i go home at 10 most nights plus i go home at 6 weds fri n sun so he can du his raids the time in between them days when i see him i expect time for me and him to talk and interact with each other not just t have sex or have convo’s about WoW n talk about his raids and wot gear he’s got or needs i dont want to know about all that he should keep that for when im not there for him and his m8s to talk about.
fare-enough u people that play WoW dont think its anything wrong and just think its us people that dont play been sad and perthectic..which is ok ur opinion…but if u sit and think about it and think about something that bores you to death and really does not interest you and imagine sat watching someone do it and talk about it and basically live there life around it if it was gf/bf…you wud b saying the exact same as us!
and all you people that have a life aswell as WoW gd on you thats wot u should be doing. but my bf all he does is WoW as soon as he wakes its WoW the first thing he sees on a mornin is WoW the last thing he sees at night is WoW! n even wen he’s seein me its like WoW this WoW that let me just show u something oh theres something i need to do on WoW…or do you mind if i raid tonite babe? (even tho his raiding days r weds fri n sun) but stil nights he sees me he wants to raid. could u imagine that if it was something u werent interested in at all? honestly?
you might think im perthectic and woteva but really think about it as though its something you really dont like!
It makes me sick reading all of this crap. If you are having problems pulling your man off of his wow, screw another man in his bed in front of him. Fun for you and it will piss him off…if not just leave his sorry ass
I think its all about control….on both sides.
I was an everquest addict. I played like all the horror stories I just read above me. I was a disgusting piece of shit and worthless as a mate. I paid for it, I lost my wife.
I now play WoW for 3 hours on weds, 4 hours on friday and 3 hours on one of my two days off typically in the early mornings of weds. I rarely play but sometimes do an occasional 3 hours on monday (my guild raids mon, weds, fri) ..and thats it.
I have a question to ask…I recently got engaged to an amazing woman, we saw each other 3 nights a week because of her being in school and me working and it was not enough, so we got engaged and moved in, it was said beforehand I play computer games (she knew more details) and that I would abide by the above schedule but that it was NOT going anywhere, I truly find enjoyment out of gaming and am not an addict, but I refuse to give up my precious time (I also work 50 hours a week)
The problem is that after being engaged for 6 months she wants me to quit and says that I put the game before her because I play those nights instead of spending time with her, I explain to her that she gets ALL of my other outside of work time and that I dont go out with my single friends or leave her side EVER..and that she should be thankful for…
Am I in the wrong to want to play a couple nights a week? AFTER spending time with her when i get home from work by taking her out to dinner and such? She doesnt cook so going out to dinner usually takes the entire free time together those 3 nights/week…
She goes to college, I support her and so shes a stay at home …free person?…I just would like a little respect for the 12-15 hours/week that I want to MYSELF…because of what happened to me in the past im questioning whether its fair or not though…so I came to a hardcore forum with some hurt people hoping to get some feedback.
Moderation is the keyword. I’ve been happily married for 10 years and a WoW player for 1.5. I have three beautiful children ages 7 and under. My wife and I understand the need for “me” time where she has a hobby and where I have WoW (or another game). But, we take all of it in moderation.
Friday night is always date night. No matter what my guild has going on, or what her girlfriends have going on. We always do something together on Friday night — all night. It’s dedicated to us, no distractions. Monday nights are the same, except those are Family nights. Just us and the kids. No distractions.
The other days/nights of the week we take a “wait and see” attitude. If she needs time to herself, I take the kids somewhere, or send her off somewhere and I give her a break. The reverse is true. But we don’t abuse the situation. I don’t sneak off to play WoW and give up on my family. I mean, I made a committment to my wife when I married her. I never made such a thing to a computer game.
Every once in a while, my real-life friends with whom I play online in a guild will get together and WoW for an entire afternoon/night. From maybe 3pm on until 3am or something. That’s a binge that we plan ahead for with our families (we’re all married). When the appointed day comes, we all get online and it is understood that unless there’s an emergency, we’re playing WoW.
When my wife wants to do an all-night scrapbooking party with friends or family, then she’s good to go. We just plan it in like any other activity on the family calendar.
I have a level 60 and a level 55 character and various “younger” characters. If I happen to play 5 hours/week, that’s all I get. If I get more, then fine. If not, no problem. And sometimes, yes, I still get sick of WoW and have to take a break for a month or so.
At any rate, I realize that I’m lucky and while I don’t play as much as everyone else and sometimes I don’t play as much as I like, I have a wonderful marriage and a beautiful family and there’s nothing that’s going to get between me and them. No grouping of pixels ever designed could do that.
I didn’t get married to get divorced — or play computer games.
hi id like to comment bk to Brandon…..i dont think your been unfair if u read bk and look at my other comments you can see that my bf abuses this and goes on when he likes. i wish he was more like you and actually thought about it because if he took time out to think about it he would probably realise that he shuving me furthure away. so no i dont think your been unfair…and i think its gd you actually thought about it and you learnt from your mistakes. the only thing im worried about is will my bf du the same and although its a gd thing that u learnt am i the one that he going to lose to make him realise because i dont want to be that person but u really dont no how much 1 person can take.
x
Sadly, this all makes me realize how dumb my own mistakes were. I used to blow off friends to play an MMORPG very similar to WoW. So glad I finally quit a month ago. My life has been a lot better since. I went from gaming 10+ hours a day to maybe 2 hours a day (Xbox Live with real life friends) when I quit. Lately, I’ve been going out almost every night and just doing nothing but hanging with friends and stuff, things I could’ve been doing 9 months ago, but I got sucked into the game and neglected everything. I’m never going to play another MMORPG again because if I got sucked into one again, I think I’d kill myself. And don’t even get me started on how I almost lost my full college scholarship in the first semester because of it. I still haven’t fully repaired my relatonship with my family, but I doubt I can anyway.
Addiction to Warcraft and gaming is a myth. It’s a matter of Ego.
I’m a gamer, always have been. My /played time rivals most of your “addicted” spouses. I have quite literally played this game and others until my eyes WEPT BLOOD. As such, I’ve got some insight that I’d like to share with you Widows that prevented my fiancee from joining you.
Many of you cannot fathom the depths of depravity that would cause someone to ignore their spouses, children, jobs, health, and even sanity. The only thing that comes even close is an analogy of drug addiction, and that’s how many of you handle it - with patience, and love, and often, little success.
So I pose you a question: If Picasso’s paintings had been universally denounced as trash, would he have continued to paint ?
Although it’s hard to fathom, your husband feels a master of his art every time he logs on. His gear/spec/macros/rep/honor are the colors and forms that he uses to create the perfect character - his masterpiece. Those who play religiously do so out of pride.
They create incredibly powerful extensions of themselves in what can be described as the most immersive simulated world ever created. Although you might think I’m exaggerating, understand that your spouse wouldn’t. Have you ever seen two WoW players together ?
They’re exalted and revered by more casual gamers in every sense of the words. People will mill around in Ironforge or Orgrimmar, just to look at them. They know it, and they do what they do to you out of pride for their characters. And that pride is justified, because if they’re willing to put in the time that many of you describe, they’re undoubtedly in the top 1-2% of the 6,000,000 people that play. Thats akin to being an olympic athlete. Understand that they’re very, very good at what they do, and very proud of what they’ve done, so proud in fact that they’re willing to make incredible sacrafices to continue to be part of the elite. Their guilds do nothing but re-inforce this elite mentality.
And that, very simply, is how they justify it to themselves. They’re the best, how can they stop now when they’re so close to perfection ? And perfection is very hard to attain. When you’re that good, your only option is to raid/grind for those phat loots, another aspect of the guild that they’re in. Most players HATE raiding ZG/AQ/MC/BWL/Ony/Nax, (unless they’re surrounded by players of an better caliber) but how many times have you been ditched for one of those raids ? They’re here because they want to be perfect, and perfection is by design very hard to attain.
Most of the more common rationalizations that I’ve heard from the widows are just weak bullshit excuses used to hide their arrogance. They know they’re the best, and wouldn’t give it up for anything, including you, no matter how great of a wife you are. They’d rather be a virtual god, adored by all in a simulation, than Employee of the month, husband of the year, or father of the decade.
However, their arrogance is also the key to getting back your spouse, and not some husk rotting alive in front of a monitor. The answer that I think you all seek is this:
Convince your spouse that his character is not the best, nor will he ever be. Attack the flaws of his priest, not the neglect that he has shown you. If you show him that he’s truly a noob, no matter how great his character is, you’ll shake him out of it long enough to see some reason.
Then, as soon as he realizes that his perfect diamond has a great big black flaw through the middle that he never saw, when he starts to doubt that he’ll ever be better than this priest X on this server Y, do everything in your power to delete those chars. Take a hammer to the hardrive if you have to show him how serious you are, and I’m not kidding. Would you prefer a 2500$ computer to a lifelong marraige ? The comparison is preposterous.
Convince him that deleting his chars feels AWESOME (it truly does, it’s like a shower for the soul). The hard part is admitting that all those hours went towards a big “delete”, but tell him that it was about the journey, not the destination. Half the reason a lot of hardcore players keep at it so hardcore is because they refuse to admit that all that hard work didn’t have a finale - well, what other possible finale can there be when the characters will exist permanently until you either run their comp over with the truck or the delete them ?
They can be brought back to reality, I was one of them, and without going into details, there was pure horror involved.
Also, it helps to mention that they don’t have to stop playing so long as they admit they’re a noob, and give up the hardcore. I share a dwarf priest with my fiancee now, and its a riot. She’ll subtly sabotage him in a wedding dress before I log on, which usually results in some merciless tickling.
There is hope, and divorces and drama are simply not the answer. They’re not addicted, no matter what it looks like, or what they say.
Good luck !
Ex Tier 1-3 Epic noob:
Twisting Nether
60 Pally
60 Mage
60 Priest
Thorium Brotherhood
60 Lock
60 Shammy
60 Hunter
60 Warrior x2
60 Rogue
Current 2 month old noob shared with the love of my life
The Venture Co.
16 Priest “Vil”
Oddly, as I read through all this stuff…I can only think back to the stand-ups of the late Sam Kinison. And now I see here two to three of the many bajillion reasons he said not to get married.
I play WOW recreationally. My wife actually plays more than I do but we have a pretty healthy relationship.
That said, if your SO (be it man or woman) is playing too much of WOW or too much of anything, then it’s time to get out of the relationship.
If you’re compromising yourself to be with that person to that kind of extant, then your are a fool.
STFU and move on with your life and stop whining! Do you honestly think that it’s WOW’s/Blizzard’s fault that your SO is not paying attention to you? It’s not. WOW is a game, plain and simple. If your SO is not putting the time into the relationship that’s needed it’s one or more of the following.
They already had a seriously addictive personality and anything could have set it off from a game to drugs
They can’t handle reality very well and use the game as escapism (like drugs)
They feel their SO is not interesting, and even though they beg and plead for you to stay because they “Love you” they are too stupid to actually know what love is…
You are overbearing in the relationship and they use the game as a frustration outlet
You have your own issues
STFU and move on!
/sheesh
/lvl 60 tauren shaman married to a lvl 60 Undead priest
//Works 45-55 hours a week, still games, still spanks her ass in bed and out
///Bends her over the kitchen table (or anywhere that’s handy) and takes her for a ride anytime I fancy (or she does)
You bending your pear shaped priest over a table isn’t something I really needed to read dude……..
Bildo, my wife is 5′11 and a 120 pounds, hardly pear shaped…LOL… And a damn hottie to boot…(I will rue the day she becomes lazy about excercise)
I have a 16 year old son who soon will be 17. if youve seen the episode of south parks wow, that is my son. He sits up in his room every waking hour while hes not in school playing wow. Hes given up most his social life and has failed two core classes in school. We have discussed him playing to much he agrees its gotten out of hand. but still the obsession is controlling and even shapping his future. I will be setting up parental controlls because he has lost controll. Hopefully he wont threaten to kill him self cause he cant play or tourcher me to the point where I committ a violent parental rath. I guess it s good hes not on drugs, but this game is definatley an addicton.
I used to play. Had a few lvl 60’s. My only requirement that I asked my wife was that 9 hours a week (3 hours a might 3 nights a week) I be left alone to do raids. Wasn’t good enough for her I guess. So I quit. She is happy. I sit here bored off my mind. “Come spend time with me.” Sorry. Watching Popularity Island isn’t very stimulating, Ill just goto bed. On the weekends, “come with me to my moms” nope sorry. Not gonna go sit there and be stuck with no one to talk to and nothing but a TV to try to take my mind off walking home the 30 miles just to have something to do.
Then again, I could become an alcoholic. Doesn’t take time away from her, and Im not on the computer. Maybe that will make her happy. Its a plan.
Also to add that alot of people (coworkers mostly) told me that I needed to quit playing and “get a life.” Their definition of a life is out drinking 4 nights a week with $50+ bar tabs and talking to people who then they complain about (women are really bad about this) while they are out of the room, then be all buddy buddy with when they come back in. Heh. Some life. Enjoy it.
/just remember that some addictions are worse than others. Would you rather have your husbands/sons playing games in their rooms, or out drinking. Sit….get out of shape? Or sit….get out of shape, and liver rots away. Its a bit extreme, but valid.
Obbsession is a funny thing. I play wow, but not obsessively (that may change for a month or two on the 16th January when The Burning Crusade comes out - watch out WOW Widows!)
I’m with you Widows. It really is not nessessary to play the hours that I’ve read here. Your rate of progression as a WOW player really does not have to be that fast! I know cos I’ve played, the addiction of going raiding to try to maybe possibly get another piece of that armour set that will make you that tiny bit better…but is it really that worth it?
Ladies if you want to keep your men then I suggest one of two things…either get him to leave his guild - this will reduce the pressure of other gamers in his guild to make him play extended hours. Get him to research into finding a much more chilled guild that raid like twice a week or something, and who don’t demand he is on for 24/7.
Two: If that fails, then get control of the wow account. You have to pay to play this game, and if you can threaten to delete his account and character(s), I think you will find you will gain his attention, but be wary - this could lead to physical violence if they are a mental ass, which in my opinion warrants you to leave him because any loser that resorts to violence over something like this shouldn’t be allowed to breed and thus allowed to infect the human race with his genes.
Haha. Go get real “widows”. How about dropping 200pounds, get in the shower once in a while and act like a normal person, not the “I HAVE TO HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS ALL NIGHT CUZ THAT IS SO FUCKIN COOL!” person. Please. I`m sure most of the guys here just want you to leave them, as my girlfriend did to me. I do not give a shit, I play the came cuz I enjoy it. Maby more than a girlfriend. Because WoW never argues, never has a periode, never demands, never blows away all your money and it NEVER nagg you for being a “loser”.
You will go down in history Scat as.. as.. uh.. oh that’s right, you wont be remembered at all.
But if you’re happy with that, continue on your fake fantasy.
Ive read through most of the accounts and have had feelings of pity thru confussion. I believe that some married a person for the wrong qualities. I made sure that when I picked my SO that that person would fit my personality. That said, we’re both gamers and are both happilly married.
We take turns in doing the chores around the house, including laundry, dishes (which I do almost exclusively - happily btw) and dinner (which she does as much as I do dishes), feed the critters (split 50-50), take out the trash (me), and go out - atleast once a week for dinner and movie, or other event (last week was her favorite comedian, George Carlin, in which I almost died laughing).
We both work things out so that chores around the house get done, and we have time to play. We play an average of 30-40 hours a week. We dont have kids (parents with kids, my heart goes out to you because I know its tougher - this doesnt apply to you).
We arent in a hardcore guild, yet we raid about 3 times a week (up to 4 on some weeks). We enjoy our gaming lives, we are proud of the content our characters have conquered, and we are constantly tyring to make the character we have better. These things dont take away from our lives - it adds to it. Why? Because we feel its a hobby that keeps our minds off of the daily grind, and serves as therapy from the shit that goes on at work and our real lives (everyone gets some shit.)
Imagine that. The game serves as therapy to players.
Im still reflecting on a lot of the comments, so I cant say that all of you who are against gaming are wrong. Some cases are downright neglect and abuse of spouses. The wife who cant get the husband to do her?? Excuse me?? Did I read that right? … Ill drop whatever it is to give it to my wife. Most of the time however its not my wife who readily wants it. She says she needs to get worked up, and in a way I can understand the same. Hell if most sex with her started with her giving me a blowie Id say we’d be doing it like bunnies. Sometimes its not like that. (I give her a steady amount of head btw, fyi).
One wife who plays with her husband said something that rings true to me: Why is it that the man is expected to initiate everything with the wife? Most wifes dodge this question I think in part due to laziness, something which society has deemed normal. Yet men and women both desire sex. OK… ? Im not talking about going to bed naked and expecting your husband to know that thats his queue. Im talking about rubbing him or start giving him a blowie …
Some might think this is too crazy, and dare not do it out of fear of rejection, but face it. Men feel this way almost everytime they initiate something and are let down. They give up eventually.
Ive learned to give my wife space when shes not in the mood, and respect that. I relieve myself, and she wont be mad about it.
Ill digress, some might find my talking about this a little off topic, but I feel it all relates to the relationship - which is what this forums about.
Ill restate (like another poster did - on the other side of aisle) what Ive said again. Parents this does not apply to you. Your attention should be directed at the kids, not a game. Its hard enough to have time at the end of the day after putting them to sleep to get yourselves ’some.’
But to you couples who havent gotten married, or who are married and arent currently with kids, theres a very clear solution to this. Its put up or put out. Simple as that.
Some might be waiting around to find out if the games more fun then you. Ill give you the answer to that now: IT IS. Get over it.
Is it more important? Hell no. Its more fun. Its NOT more important. Its more fun.
Id rather have romantic hot sex with my wife, ripping her a new one then be raiding. But the truth of the matter is, shes not always ready for that. Sometimes shes raiding and Im bored with the game atm, so I face the fact that shes enjoying herself, feel glad that shes next to me, and I go and find some other preoccupation (and its not TV - I rarely watch it). Last night, it was laundry.
Point is, relationships are a matter of give and take. Some of you who have found partners perhaps are in the wrong relationships, because if your not allowing the SO their take time youve got an issue with control. Or, alternatively, if the person your with is taking too much, its time to give them an ultimatum, and enforce it fully, even if it means breaking up with the person.
Heres a good luck to you all!
Steve Jobs, saying I doubt it is you, I will still pretend it is you. What makes you so damn special? Designing half gay computers overpriced and sleeping with Intel just to make even more money? Making a OS with an underlying Unix platform because even Microsoft can do better than you and code their own thing?
And how do you know I will not go down in history? For all you know, I can be a famous open-source coder maintaining the patches for PPC.
But sure, be my guest. Go cry in a corner with these bitches, and support their crusade on the male part of the human race.
Scat i can imagine you as been a sad little loner who only as online friends not saying there anything wrong with online friends but you need real friends…and when your saying all this like you dont give a shit….mayb in months or years to come when u do actually grow up and start to give a shit u wil have no-1 because you fuked them all off for a computer game and said you didnt give a shit.
ive talked about my bf and him been on WoW furthure up the page…but when i read the things you put…my bf is not bad at all! at least he does act like he cares and would give a shit if i left him! unlike u selfcentered twat!
hey everyone…sorry about that first bit…but i just can not cope with idiotic people like that.
if you wana talk just post a comment on ere!
anywayz if you read my comments above u wil see what i have been going through.
i had a really good talk with my bf and told him bout all the sites id been on about WoW and everything and said im gettin to stage where i dont want to be with you anymore….and things have slightly changed….he still goes on WoW…but now when i go upto his he finishes off what he is doind on WoW and comes off and doesnt log back on til im ready for going home or til ive gone so things have got better for me.
i think its got better because ive stook by him and i havnt left him…even tho i really wanted to…and me stiking by him i think as made him realise that i do really love him and things like that because he has started to apreciate me more and we have been getting on alot better and things are looking up!
im really happy now…and in for a great christmas if things carry on the way they are now!
the advice id like to give people who are going thro the same as me is….tell your partners how u realy feel dont b scared to tell them and stick by them as long as you can until u carnt take anymore im not saying stick by them forever stick by them until u feel u carnt any longer and if you do that and just talk and tell them how u really feel and what u want them to do it may take more than once but it worked for me and i really hope it works for you too!
kim x
move up side and let the mango through..
I play Wow…I hold a better than average job with one of the most well known companies on the planet. I have a beautiful wife…wonderful children…nice home…a great dog…the works. I play Wow every chance I get when Im at home with nothing to do. It beats the hell out of watching T.V. Watching T.V. you are force fed mindless crap and have no mental participation at all thatamounts to everything. Playing Wow takes atleast some thought and use of problem solving skills. Every once in a while my wife will make a comment and to prove a point I’ll get off and go sit on the coach in front of the T.V. literaly 10 feet away from where I sit on the computer. She has no problem with that. I say then.. Whats the difference? There is none. I can sit in one place or the other with my mind fixed on one thing or the other…..no difference. It’s not like if the house begins to burn down I’ll just go down with the ship in either position. I tell my wife it’s a man thing. Men are by nature attracted to electronics and gadgets and things of this nature. I also tell her like im going to tell every nagging women on this post saying..” He doesnt pay attention to me!!!!” IF THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IS YOUR HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND PLAYING A GAME ON THE COMPUTER…THEN YOU HAVE IT MADE!!!!! Just ask the girl who cught her husband cheating on her or the women who’s husband never comes home from the bars. Most men need some sort of break from reality whether the hunt, fish, play golf, play Wow whatever. If your man is playing Wow…just be glad he’s at home and not off smoking crack or doing a keg stand somewheres with some cheap Jessica Simpson wannabe. It could be worse….much worse than playing Wow.
OMG… if a guy wants to play WoW rather than spend time with his gf or wife.. then he probly wouldnt care if you broke up with him either.. i play WoW, i have a gf… i know when to give attention and when it is ok to play… so get the clue.. maybe your not entertaining… maybe your not ment to be with that person.. this is the stupidest duscussion forum i have ever seen… boo fuckin hoo.. you lost your boyfriend, you lost your husband… well.. if he would rather play a video game than spend time with you, then im gonna go ahead and make an assume that you are just boring as shit… thank you, and have a wonderful day.
My boyfriend plays wow and i like it cuz i get to go out and do my own shit .All you little slutbags out there should build a bridge an get the fuck over it …its a game ffs as long as i get some meat in my sandwich at the end of the day im happy so do yourselves a favour get of the damn computer so ya man can play wow and go cook him some god damn eggs!
And at 12 years of age you have all that wisdom???
Gee what have we been doing??? Just working, housekeeping, looking after the kids. Shit we should be happy to do all that as long as we get a bit of smelly cock “at the end of the day”, cause fuck knows they are too busy playing to shower, brush their teeth etc etc…
i agree kate
dnt comment if you havnt a clue wot ur on about…..and your just going to put imature comments :@
My man plays warcraft like its going out of style. And yeah, I wouldnt mind a couple hours. But its to the point where a couple hours is something that is hard to come by these days. Its more like 6 and up, daily. and on the days where he doesnt play his game that much, he’s off doing other things like watching a fantasy movie, looking up WoW sites…I cant stand it anymore. And yeah Another Kate, i get sex. After a maraton of WoW. That really feels romantic. And then he gets back on. I’d rather not have it. Its to the point that I think I am going to end up leaving him. Theres nothing left of us. Its WoW, WOW WOW. I get breaks here and there for 10 mins or so. But i think i deserve more than that. Right?
Ok, so……
all the women keep saying the same thing, that their bf/husbands play the game too much blah blah blah…. maybe u should have realized that ur bf/husband was a hardcore gamer b4 u got with them instead of thinking u can change them…. its not gonna happen… they will play video games till they grow out of it so here is a thought, next time u meet a guy that plays video games, leave him for a gal that plays video games…. a relationship will always have problems if one is a gamer and the other is not…. go for someone that shares the same interests….
my husband and i both play WoW, I was the one that got him into it and now he loves it…
we dont really fight about it either… and yes i do have RL friends and i always put them and my family first… which is one thing that these women are saying that i agree with…
If you start turning down your RL friends and family so that u can raid or pvp, then u do have a problem… seek help imo….
you know, when i first started dating my man, he only played for 2-3 hours. and im cool with that. i can watch my shows, movies, go shopping, do anything by myself for that long. cool. However, after the course of one year, they playing time evolved in to 4-10 hours. thats too much, sweetheart. If you work 8 hrs a day and come home and average another 8 hours then you have a problem. OK? If he is gonna sit in front of a computer for the length of one working day, and ignore the fuck out of me, he damn well better getting paid!!! Come on people. I know all of you little WOW players come here and read these actual post by actual women ( and men!) that are trying to make sense of it all and vent about their loved one addiction; give me an answer: WHY THE HELL CAN YOU SPEND EVERY WAKING MOMENT ON YOUR EFFING PC AND NOT SPEND 10 MINUTES WITH ME W/O BITCHING??!! We’ve offered to leave their sorry asses, we’ve even psudo-left them. And each time we get an apology and 1-2 days of dramatically decreased game time ( not that they would actually be sweet and loving and stop playing for a day or two..) and told ‘how much we are loved’ and coaxed back in. Its a maze. And I’m not a fucking mouse. I’m sick of it. Here it is Christmas and my man has reduced me to tears because he woulndt get off his game for a bit. It took me crying and packing my stuff to get him off. Then he acted like he wasnt doing anything wrong. I’m the bitch. I’m done.
God damit! I see “It is cool, I get to see my shows, shopping and do my shit”. WHAT if your guy did not play WoW, and you still wanted to do “your shit” girls? What then, if he demanded attention EVERY FUCKIN second of the day? Why is tv and shopping so fuckin much better?
And for the guy who thinks I am a loser. I have a great familiy, I am soon done with my grade in computerscience and I got a girl. I take care of my old grandma as much as possible, I do voulnterywork etc. Also I play WoW, and I function.
So stfu and just love your man for what he is. The girls who post here are the same girls who wanted to ban rock&roll and violent movies. Get a fuckin life wich will keep you from spending all your time here.
all the women keep saying the same thing, that their bf/husbands play the game too much blah blah blah…. maybe u should have realized that ur bf/husband was a hardcore gamer b4 u got with them instead of thinking u can change them…. its not gonna happen…
And if they weren’t gamers when you met them????? And you actually want the partner that they were before games???
God damit! I see “It is cool, I get to see my shows, shopping and do my shit”. WHAT if your guy did not play WoW, and you still wanted to do “your shit” girls? What then, if he demanded attention EVERY FUCKIN second of the day? Why is tv and shopping so fuckin much better?
We don’t want them every second of the day!!!!! Don’t you guys get it?????
We are talking about guys that game 10-18 hours a day and they have FAMILIES!!! We are not talking casual gamers that are only responsible for themselves. We are talking about men that ignore their children, their jobs, their responsibilities…..not fucken casual gamers or even people that play alot and yet still make sure all of their responsilbilties are handled first.
Gaming is FINE!!!! I let my sons game…….if all their other homework, chores are done first.
Its like someone that smokes cones on a social basis and someone that is so off their tits all day every day that they can’t function or they choose not to.
We widows are not anti-gaming, we don’t want our men every second of every day. But if we are a family and they have kids then they need to do their share too and not leave it up to their spouse. Most women work a 40 hour week too. Most women need to relax as well, most women need to only look after 2 kids, not 3 (their s/o).
We are not talking 18-26 yr old guys, living at home doing what they please. These guys can. Good on them. But if you have a family and you choose to be there then be there.
Do you guys get it now????
No, I dont. And here is why. If the man you loved became an alcoholic or a drug addict, you would stand by him and try to help him, even tough he would refuse help would you keep fighting. No matter how tierd you got or how hopeless you felt, you would go on. Because if you do half of the thing in the home you claim to, that fight would be a walk in the park for you. And you would not stop until you had helped him out of his WoW addiction, because THAT is what true love is.
You say they try to keep you when you try to run away? That is an addict trying to keep the one he loves the most. Maby you girls should think about this part too, and ask yourself if your love really is as strong as life long love is. Because I know for sure, if anything bad happened to my girl I would fucking fight the entire world if that was what it took, not make some crappy “Days of our Lives - whinewhine” site.
And remember, it is ALWAYS easier to run and let someone else take the fall.
Naw dude. The guys got kids. Its not the same as you both have brought new life into the world. Kids = less time for yourself being that they need a lot of help in those first few years. Theres a possibillity that after putting them to bed you could have some alone time for like 1 hour or so, but even then, its not enough time to raid.
And its not as easy to just say to the complaining SOs: ‘just leave them.’ Its a different ball game is what Im saying.
To the guy who asked why shopping and “shit” was better:
Anything, if done in excess is bad. If I shopped 8 hours a day every day I’d be called a shopping addict. If I drank, did drugs, was at strip joints, played sports, waxed my car, watched tv, or did ANYTHING for 8-10 hours a day I would be labled as an addict, and would expect to have an annoyed SO. Moderation is key. We don’t demand to be glued to you 24 hours a day. We just ask that you aren’t glued to your Pally non stop. Give us some attention too.
I have been reading everyone’s posts and contiplating on whether I want to become part of the discussion or not. My husband of 12 years has been playing Warcraft since the beginning of the summer. Like the majority of the other “widows”, I too am frustrated with this game. Is my marriage really going to end because of this damn game? Very possible. We have 2 children together, ages 11 & 6, who have actually made several comments that dad is no longer “around”. My children and I pretty much live our life without my husband in the picture. So many times I have tried to get him involved with us, but apparently, we are no longer a priority. It’s sad, but so very true. I have tried to have serious conversations with him about how much this upsets me and the kids, but after a week of being “good”, we are back to the same routine. I can only have this conversation so many times and I’m tired of hearing like a broken record. This man goes to work, comes home and sits at the computer. He even eat’s his breakfast, lunch and dinners there…it’s just me and the kids at the dinner table. He puts his head phones on so he can chat with his buddies while they all go on raids. Forget having any type of conversation and I have stopped trying to communicate. He has no clue what is going on in his children’s lives and the only reason he misses me when I’m gone is because he actually has to make his own meals! I’m starting to think that if I’m going to be a single mom, which is what I am, I might as well have one less “CHILD” to pick up after. However, I don’t want to be another statistic and divorced, but I don’t know what else to do. I have tried to get involved with the game and be enthusiastic about it, but I can’t play it because someone in this house has to be a parent. I’ve seen what this game has done to my husband and God forbid, I turn out like him. The kids would be raising themselves!!! Someone has to take care of the family and the house and the kids, it’s obviously not going to be him anymore and hasn’t been for awhile. Anyways~I’m not sure why I am posting all of this except to vent and get this off my chest. I have no one to talk to that understands and I have connected with the stories on this site. Thanks for listening anyways…MJ
I see now, its not WoW it is something wrong with, its the husbands of those posting here. Dump em, and get yourself a real man. Someone who can play both WoW and have a life and take his turn of things in the home.
Also, maby you should tell their mother!
I can whole heartedly sympathise with everyone who is worried about WoW - this Christmas was the first time we had been on our own in our new house, and I saw him for approximately two hours over Christmas Eve, Day and boxing day. The day after boxing day I stomped out of the house in disgust. This is a man who loves Christmas and he just ‘wasnt there’. He comes out to eat, goes back in. He’s off for two more days than me after Christmas and I know exactly what he’s doing, playing the game. This is aggravating problems that already exist in our relationship, and I do feel that if he wanted to spend time with me, he would and it would not be a sacrifice. This is not the way I want to live my life, and there is only so much time I can deal with this before it will finish things between us. Because we already have problems I cannot help but think this is his escapism and not wanting to face up to reality, and that to me means it’s over. Because he knows that WoW is an issue, he won’t discuss it and rarely opens up about existing problems and I admittedly am getting past the point of caring.
I hope you guys had a better Christmas than me and here’s to better times for the New Year!!
You know, i never really got into that who WOW thing. i played it for like a month, it was okay, but having sex with my woman is 1000 times better. Guys, if you want better things out of life, gain some exp points in the sack and not on your dumb ass alienware. Oh yea, and go outside and work out a bit, jesus.
And another thing, if you have kids and play this game, shame on you. Imagine yourself in their shoes. Better idea, play a game they like, spend time with them, not only will you have more fun, you wont have to get a divorce…..haha. And as far as you guys complaining about what women want to do, grow the fuck up. People are different, sexes are different. You wow addicts take the world of losers to a new extreme. I am a professional athlete, so i dont really have alot of time for games anyways. I have to spend alot of time away from my family, and thats hard enough as it is. If you guys would sit back and realise that not everyone is interested in your cute little colorful game, maybe you could make some real money instead of auctioning fake cute swords. Sorry if i ramble too long. If i hear anyone in public talking about wow, ill throw a 75lb dumbell and crush their worhtless face, grr haha.
It is true..I have heard of this site…I only play WOW occasionally…one month on…two months off…but ya…I love the venting your girls have on here. If you really do want your husband or b/f to get off the game…make his real life more appealing than this game. I’m single right now because I’m in the military so I don’t feel it a good time to settle down yet. Also I play because this is a wicked way to save money right now. So good luck to all u widows out there due to WOW and hopefully u can revive your husbands or b/fs back to reality. Peace Out!
oh ya…Derek…get off the roids…we don’t need you….in fact…no one does..lol
Scat: I am not a shopping girl. I do not loooove going to the mall, watching boring tv all the time and doing mundane things like grocery shopping, painting my nails, and getting pedicures. I love going to concerts, rock concerts. I love going the bar for a couple of drinks. I love having sex. Hell, I love watching sports. I also like to play video games. Me and my old man used to do these things often. Then he came home and played for a couple of hours. Fine. But now these thing have stopped. I havent stopped doing them, but now I have to go by myself. So let me get this right, I have heard from you AND my old man that if he gets off his game for good, hes gonna go down to the bar and become and alchoholic and beat me all the time? Is this what I want? Cant you be at least a tiny bit mature and think of another activity other than being an alchoholic? Couldnt we bring it down a notch and say…maybe just do other things in you will be interacting with a real live person made up of atoms and proteins? Not some cyber pal that you cant even see? Tell me: what is WOW giving back to them? Is WoW cooking their meals? Is WOW making sure all their clothes are clean for work? Is WoW giving them blowjobs even? No. It gives nothing back and takes everything in return. MJ, I feel ya girl. You want to leave, but without actually leaving him? You know that you could be waaay happier, but wonder how you could be happier really without the love of your life by your side? Is he the one, but just needs to be helped out? The real reason, ladies, that we cant or havent or dont want to leave our men right now: It would hurt like hell to leave and then realize that he could care less. Or even be happy that he can spend more time with something not real. Being passed up for something non-existant. Realizing that our time was wasted for so long.
my husband has played games for so long and so often that the person he has become disgust me so badly i think im becoming a lesbian. I really almost cant stand to look at men anymore b/c i think they’re all the same.
Ladies, 2 really good sites to vent.
Widows, try these good sites.
http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/WOW_widow/
and this
http://www.gamerwidow.com/
Fantastic people that understand.
Derek : Haha, you take inbreeded moron to the new level. “If i hear anyone in public talking about wow, ill throw a 75lb dumbell and crush their worthless face, grr haha.” Haha, I would love to see you do that, carrying it around where ever you are? No one care about you being a professional athlete either, still you go on about it here, as if it makes you any better, twat.
75… amazing. I used to get paid to play computer games, REAL money.
And you are away from your family alot? Why is your reason better than a WoW gamer? I do not see why. I see they guy who stole lunch money from small kids in school. I see the guy who sees turning on a computer a huge obstacle in using it.
So just let people do their thing. Maby some girls feel their men play to much, but who are you to come here barking like some testosterone filled dog? Just chill.
i am a ex WoW player, played for a year and am taking a 2 month break. for those of the mothers that say that they’re children have no social life while playing WoW, thats wrong… i have many friends on WoW and not just people i dont know in RL i know where they live, how old they are, what they look like, their interests and many other WoW players have the same thing. theres a book called “The Battle for Azeroth” by Bill Fawcett, go to a book store and read it. it has lots of info on the game and about the players. i play WoW and agree that many people do get out of hand with it and if they play the game and fail classes and stuff then they should take it easy. but if u want them to stop just because they “have no social life” is wrong. this is just my view
Oh yah, turns out that my ex really was cheating with a dude she met on WoW. They ran off together and got married in August. She’s 30, he’s 22 and now in ridiculous debt: $4k on the wedding ring, built a brand new house, been working less than a year.
She still wouldn’t break up with me until that time either. She kept me on the backburner as a back-up plan so she didn’t “make a mistake she’d regret the rest of her life”.
When it finally came time for her to tell me she wasn’t coming back (around her wedding date), she still denied she was with anybody. She started prank calling me 4 times a day the whole month of september. I changed my number and she exposed herself as being the caller. She even called me from hubby’s home town in Michigan.
Long story short, I let someone with some very serious mental problems really hurt me & almost drive me crazy. The other guy really did me a huge favor. I know i wouldn’t have been happy if he’d have never come along.
I may or may not have another gamer chick in the future. I’m a pretty casual gamer eventhough I like reading the trade magazines. I’d rather date a gym rat & personal trainer, as I’d enjoy that time spent together much more.
I think the game’s partially to blame, because it’s geared to snag people with addictive personalities; but I think the main responsibility lies with the person who’s got the addictive personality in the first place.
Honestly, is this someone to whom you want to hand that much power over your happiness?
I hate the idea of divorce, especially when kids are involved, but I don’t think kids should have to suffer an addict for a father.
To the pro-WoW folks: ultimately you’re right, there are other problems there & they should just leave if it’s that big a problem. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy when your head says to do one thing and your heart wants something completely different.
Hang tough ladies, it’ll get better.
I am done with WOW im going fishing wasted 2 years on everquest 1 month on wow never had relationship problems bit of advise to gamers GET BACK to the GARDEN peace out
I love WoW but boobies are better.
I wouldnt give up one for the other. But I am sure I could shut it off long enough to get my nob all shiny
woot woot
Warlocks forever
WOW is a sad sad thing. I feel for all the spouses of WOW. I have spent 1.5 yrs fighting with my husband over it….and will probably continue for another 20 at this rate. And it’s only going to get worse beginning Jan. 16!
lol Jeramy, the ‘military guy’ showed me this site before he got his new time card, and we were having a good laugh about the people that play warcraft to the point of ‘life problems’…well Jeramy has had his new card for a week or so now, and I can no longer get a hold of him…its been days..lol Im posting on here cuz you never know, maybe he will see it and remember me….I used to date a hard core gamer..it was sad..he stopped going to school and cooking me food, and he let our laundry build up so bad…we broke our laundry cart with overload on the way to the laundry mat…and the whole time we were there (5 hours=6 giant bags of laundry) he was itching to get home to the computer or xbox to play whatever stupid game he was into…the day we bought an xbox was the day my engagment was ended wit hme, and the diamond ring was given to the Box…if it had a vagina it would have been his perfect woman…he told me it didnt talk back or get mad…i dont think he noticed me leaving forever… sad sad…so here I am, on this sad/halarious site, trying to get in contact with my friend..im kind of worried cuz me and Jeremy talk everyday, and well, hes MIA…and not in the military sence….
When I called him to say happy new years, he sounded pretty sick, and i woke him up at 1.00pm..i just figured he got drunk like most people…no he was up for days playing warcraft…and it was actually making him feel sick LOL..ohh man…i dont think he even visited his family for the holidays, as he was trying to get a horse in the game or something..well hunny u told me o post somethign so i found this appropiate..i hope u read this..its your bday next weekend ad i hope we can still get out for the occasion, batteries not included!!
xo
Niki
Kudos to everyone who has opened up and expressed their feelings to us all. I Just want to say something to all the Wow widows out there….Thank you, Seriously if i havent come across this site in google while trying to find a song im obssesed with..i never would have realised how world of warcraft has its grips on life. I Play wow occaisonally because i have to continue my studies and whenever i would come home from school, i would promise myself im going to read my novel after this quest,time flies by and before i know it 6 hours have passed by. It is quite addictive and to me “a total waste of time”. Somedays i would lie to my gf telling her i cant meet up with her because im busy(playing wow) but after reading all these posts i have come to a realization that this game might be something i would regret in the future. So from now on im quitting wow…forever! and i have to thank all you people for showing me the deadly after effects of MMORGS…my gf still doesnt know about wow
and never will:D
Once agian thank you
Dave c
hi Dave/and other people interested
think its really good wot you have realised and im really pleased your gf hasnt had to go through some of the (excuse the pun) ‘crap’ some of us gf have been put thro.
hope you and your gf are very happy.
my bf is a gamer and goes on the game all the time if you read all the comments u wud have seen some of mine at the very top.
but where getting there now….he still goes on WoW but he comes off when i go up…and if he isnt awake when i go up when he does get up he goes on WoW for about a nour but i dnt mind because then he comes off n spends time with me…he still sometimes bores me with some of his stories about WoW and the things he needs to level up and other things but ive realised he has stopped going on it as much as he used to….and id rather him tell me things than be sat at the computer playing it so i learn to listen and act interested and where doing fine now…and WoW doesnt bother me that much anymore theres stil times when it can really annoy me but thats only the odd time if im in a strop or if he does try to push it abit but we talk to each other now and things are gr8
its made me really happy to find out u have realised before its too late
hope you had a nice new year and a very merry christmas
kim x
I am married to a gamer an we are having the standard issues of game play vs time spent on home and family
I just would like to know if there is a time log on the game. Can I have my other half log on and go somewhere to see how much time has been spend on line that day or that week ?
You can log into WoW and press then type: /played again. And you will see total playedtime.
SDBOBN
look and find out how long he spent on that game…i did that with my bf when he was on it loads and i just showed him how long he actually played on the game n then made him think how long he spent with me and the game had loads more time than i did with him n it kinda made him realise abit that he was chossing the game over me and spending too much time on it….so if iwas you get looking asap and just show him and then ask him how much time he spends with you and children (if you got any) and see the difference it may make him realise like my bf did and i think thats why m bf has cut down alot more and spends more time with me
good luck
let us no how you got on
kim
I’m a girl. I play WoW. I think it’s a great game.
However. I know when enough is enough. I am an huge game fan and I do play hours at a time on occation. I have played 12 hour sessions or more at a time before, I admit.
But that is only at times which I know a loved one or a friend has not wanted to see me or hang out with me. My family and friends are set before games.
Hey, I will never call someone a nerd if they dedicate huge amounts of time to a game because I do it too. And I don’t consider myself a nerd. I just know that when people I care about need me, I drop the games right away and do stuff with them.
There is a happy medium and people important to me come before games.
There is a difference between your bf or gf playing a lot of games or just down right neglecting the relationship. If he or she refuses to go out or have relations on a regular basis due to hanging out with people over an MMORPG then they are being obsessive jerks about their game. But if they spend hours on a game and still find time to please other people, like I manage to do, then it’s fine.
You can do it. It’s possible.
It just looks like many guys that the women speak of here fit into the “Obsessive jerk” category. And these men are wrong for it and need to seek help.
Although I do take offense to a few of the comments that state playing over a few hours a day makes you a sad loser nerd. Seeing as I fit that category and do not at all consider myself one. I simply know what’s most important in life at the time. Weekends I see my friends, but during the week, when people are just too busy, I play WoW or another game after work. That hurts no one. Most people watch TV or do something else in that time. I never watch TV, I see TV as a bigger waste of time seeing as you do actually use a bit more brain power playing a game… hehe
I need to learn some manners!
It’s true. it is really fat. My girlfriend got addicted to WoW. it was so upsetting that i dumped that fat dike. and now it turns out i am gay. its pretty funny how things like that work out
I’m a slow learner!
I got addicted to Counter-Strike a few years back. I remember my gf’s (now wife’s) tears, and the discussions about how I’d come home from work and jump straight in front of the PC without really talking to her first.
Those chats were really hurtful and frustrating for me at the time, but I knew she was right. I made a decision to put some perspective back in my life. I still play games today, but I understand their place; I really only play after everyone else has gone to bed, and even then, maybe once or twice a week. I still use the PC more than I would like to, but I’m working on that.
I now have a great relationship with my wife, two absolutely perfect little boys whom I enjoy spending time with, and yes, an online gaming social life in addition to my real one. But I learned how to manage it. I don’t need to convince you that gaming can be psychologically addictive - but please realise that just like smoking or drinking, it’s not the drug that causes the trouble, and it (usually) isn’t the person - it’s a function of the addiction itself. It’s what addiction does to a person’s brain. It can turn a regular nice guy into a messed up caricature of themselves, and part of what it does is make it harder for that person to see that it’s happening.
People do come back from this. They can eventually have “what was I thinking?” moments. What helped me to get there was when I noticed how the reactions my gf was having were so out of character for her… what was causing that?? Oh shit, it’s me. Whoa.
Maybe start with some little goals, like finishing by a certain time, or having one night off entirely, planned a day in advance. Punctuate the gameplay; put some structure into it, and build it back into a wider context of real life. Bit by bit, encourage them to tighten the box around WoW until they can metaphorically hold this hobby in the palm of their hand, and look curiously upon it from outside.
I don’t know what else to suggest; I’m not an expert. But please know that it _is_ possible.
I think it is unfair how you changed what Aaron said. there is a thing called freedom of expression … bla bla bla about freedom of expression and censorship.
Oh wait, I forgot how I’m not paying the bills around here and I should at least be civil in someone else’s home, blog, forum, and/or private property. Sure, I talk a big game about freedom, but I don’t understand the subtleties and responsibilities of freedom.
For example, I’m still trying to grasp that unless I can contribute meaningfully to a conversation, I should STFU. I’m allowed to disagree, of course, which is the true essence of freedom of speech, but random comments that don’t advance a conversation or, hell, even PERTAIN to a conversation, (e.g. big fat whatevers and beating women) should be kept to myself.
Until I learn to behave appropriately, please put my comments on moderation. Thank you and good day.
This is certainly good reading I’ll give you that
Hey! Is there any real gamers addiction help in some of these comments or is it just a gripe session thread (Futon take it easy…you got some game time…get some life time and then we’ll talk)? As for me, I’m burning out on WoW at level 30 (it just takes too damn long)…I can’t imagine keeping up the pace just to get my online character to level 60 within a week (or 70 in the new BC add-on pack)! Seeing some of these threads really makes me see the pitfalls to this game. Some of these neglected people have full right to put us WoW gamers down (sorry if my addiction level doesn’t qualify me for that comment Futon, but oh well…you get the hint). Some of you obviously loved your WoW addicts otherwise you just wouldn’t have cared or been hurt by them. I’ve played for nearly 2-3 months now, I’m married, got six kids (got more reasons than most to hide from life). Anyway, I’ve played the game and got into a Guild or two…have some friends who’ve gotten to 60th level…the people you call addicts. I have to admit they really make the game fun with some of the crazy stuff they do and are very good at coming up with cool one liners in the chatbar. I really appreciate having their company when we have a good game to relax with. On the other hand my WoW addict friends and I both appreciate getting the hell out of the game long enought to have some real fun too. Most of them have thanked me for helping them to take a break from the game…I just don’t get that intense about it (jeeze, my first all-nighter game was just absolutely mindnumbing…I never want to be that tired again). I don’t think I could ever reach a point in life where I’m spending 40-60 hours in WoW, but I know some of you are living it. Well, for what it’s worth…WoW is awesome (maybe too awesome), and I intend to keep it on my shelf, I just wish it didn’t take forever to level your character (or to get that perfect “drop”). I’d love the game even more if I knew I could level within an hour instead of 6, but WoW is meant to make someone a lot of money. Hope some of you addicts who read this website please understand that I’ll be seeing some of you online, but just for a few hours on the weekend (or a weekday if I’m really bored). I’m not going to chain-smoke, and power-level any of my characters with you though. I just don’t need my level 60 within a week to realize that WoW is one of the greatest games around! I mean…So what if it takes you a year to level to 60…the game will be just as good, and you can have a pretty nice relationship with your friends and family too…right? Take time to enjoy the game the way it’s mean to be…make the magic of the game last a little longer by getting the rest of your life in too! I gotta log. CU L8TR…stoning-out to my Inn at my real house!
The War and Peace you just read is from my husband of 15 years and father of our SIX children. I believe he briefly mentioned that. Jason started many years ago with a new computer and one game and promised to never ask for another game. He now has two big fat binders full of thousands of dollars worth of games. I am not happy that his “single friend ” that has no life has hooked my husband on this game.
He sounds holier than tho in his blog and promised after writing it last night to only play on the weekend but here he was again tonight for hours on it “helping my son” that he hooked on the game. So much for promises. This game sucks life right out of our family. I work evenings while he “watches the kids” (plays WOW). I get home at 10pm and the kids are still up when they have school the next morning and he can’t disconnect himself from this darn game. He hates to disappoint his WOW buddies that need him so badly, what about his children that need him just as badly. I always considered the computer to be “the other woman”, even more so now.
Is there anyway to set a password to log him on when I say is a good time? He lacks self control big time. I wouldn’t even be able to write this if I didn’t have a lap top because he is in fantasy land on the desktop as we speak. In my opinion his blog was written while he was in fantasy land.
PS. My children are equally frustrated with Jasons game time.
Christ, if you have problems with your significant others being addicted to anything you should either smack some sense into them or get them treatment. Coming to try to get someone to give you an e-hug online is just plain stupid. Maybe you should try TALKING to your husband/boyfriend/son/etc instead of just letting them play on it all day long? Maybe this is a sign that they do not want to do things with you? In any case, perhaps the final solution is just to leave their ass in the cold after deleting their account.
My husband is addicted to WoW. The game is lame and now my 6 year old son is addicted too. Very scary. What is worse is that when I told hubby to stop playing for the emotional and intellectual sake of his son, he said no.
My son has screaming biting tantrums, when I have to drag him away from a raid to go to bed.
He can’t sit still for 2 min.s but can sit for 3 hours watching WoW.
Uh, yes divorce is a real option now. Not because of WoW per se, but because it exposed hubby’s insensitivity and selfishness. He’s just an ass, I always knew it, WoW just confirmed it.
Attention all of you WOW gamers who consider yourselves MEN, Boy do I have some news for you.. My name is Scotty and I have seen my sister and her kids treated like crap because her so called husband spends all of his time acting like some kind of elf warrior running around casting spells on other MORONS who are trying to do the same . If that is the definition of your so called Manhood then you can keep it… For all of you widows out there I am sorry that you are going through this and that you have to BABYsit your husbands just make sure your kids dont learn by the bad example of your “significant other.”
I agree, with the deleting of the account comment.
My fiance got me “back into gaming” long before we started playing MMORPGs together. I used to love tetris and various games on consoles when I was very young, played Descent II as a middle schooler, and been a nerd since forever. WoW was not the first addictive game we’ve played together, nor will it be the last. Sharing the same hobbies and activites has given us a lot of things to talk about while we play. We’re also a great duo team in a lot of games.
That said, you really do have to just spend at least half an hour a day of quality time together with your significant other. Sometimes he feels neglected if I play too much and don’t talk to him enough (I usually level faster than him and make more in-game money…), and other times I feel the same way when he plays a lot. Communication is the key here, and you just can’t muster a health relationship without talking to each other. We also run a guild together, and we have a good community of people that we both know, which helps quite a bit.
There’s nothing wrong with how you feel though, especially if you just aren’t as into the game as he is. What I have found works nicely is when my fiance and I both get immersed in some activity of our own, for example I get into surfing or looking things up online, and he gets into his Rome/Medieval Total War game. Find an activity that you love, and get into it!
Im glad to know im not alone. Ive been dating my boyfriend for 7 years- high school sweethearts. When we went away to college(me in michigan him in IL) he started playing more and more, but our relationship was fine cause when we had a chance ot see eachother we did and there was no WoW involved in our time together. Now we have recently moved in together, in what i hoped to be a furthering of our relationship, and it seems to be the opposite. He stopped wanting to spend time wiht him and now considers us being in the same room “quality time”. He plays about 8-12 hours a day. We have had talks about the amount of game playing but it doesnt seem to make an impact. We have tried setting ONE day a week in which he woudl spend with me but he gave up on that one week in. I feel like ive tried everything i could, i even told him i was willing to learn the game and he told me “no you wouldnt like it” and when i tried to tell him i would he prety much told me theres no way he will let me play with him.
I feel like this is the end of our relationship, we spent at least 6 months having the same fight and conversation over and over and he doesnt want to compromise. Dont get me wrong i dont want him to give up the game whatsoever- i know its something special to him, but i want him to learn to balance his life. Im a full time, dedicated student and i work most the day. I just want some attention- a “hey” when he comes home and maybe a kiss- instead of jumping right on the game, a sign of interest in doing something wiht him, and no more unbroken promises. Hell i just wanna see a movie once in a while! He give up everyting for this game, and isnt fighthign for me. I dont want to loose him but i also dont want to stay in a relationship where im unwanted and unneeded.
Any advice?
Sara,
In the time I’ve been reading http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/WOW_widow/ I’ve found that there is no hope for your situation. Break it off now before the potential pain grows any more. You’ve already lost him. It is extremely unlikely that he will change. Eventually Warcrack will end and he’ll move on to the next addictive game fantasy world where he can avoid having to interact in real life with somebody who loves him.
You will _never_ be a priority, or even an afterthought, in his life. I know those are harsh words, but they’re not as harsh as the reality of being alone and committed to the person who leaves you lonely to play with “friends” that wouldn’t miss him when if he disappeared.
Cut your losses, cut him loose, and cut out of the relationship.
I find it funny that you all are complaining about a game taking over your spouse/significant other.
That really says a lot about you.
You’re so pathetic you come to a place like this and post.
Hell I’m pathetic for reading it.
Good Day
-Connery
to all of you that come here to bash on these women are truely pathetic. the only reason i can think of that men like this would even be looking on here is that their wife/SO is posting her feeling about them! If you are a gamer or supporter why don’t you go get on one of your gamer posts and nerd out with your other losers about your gaming and leave these women alone! Everyone has the right to express their feelings, especially when they feel that their lives/families are being pulled apart by a game!
leave um alone!
You go girls
WOW is for scum who dont know how to live
If your man is to much of a nerd not to please you set up a website asking for people who will.There will be plenty out there
Or make a website of their profile name,pic etc and describe how much of a nerd they are.
Just pull out of the relationship and find someone better
There has got to be a virus we can all install in these computers that doesn’t allow the game to pop up. It will allow you to do everything else but use the wow servers and the game itself. Oh someone really needs to make one up.
i met my ex-bf online. he couldn’t get enough of me and vice versa. then he moved in with me. within a couple of weeks it was like i didn’t exist. then he discovered WoW and that was the beginning of the end.
looking back, i realise i had his attention because i was on the other end of a modem. my god, i was a character in an online game!
I was together with my hubbie for seven years. While he loved video games, computer games were nothing that I truly had to worry about. When WoW came about in our household, I had just given birth to our first child, almost two-years ago. I had no desire to play a computer game, hence a new child, lol. I am not saying that our child did not come first, but I was last to nothing. Hell, I was excited if I got a “HI” or “Thank you” for dinner.
He would call in sick to work so he could level, stay up all night playing into the morning, weekends were all about the “guild”, instances, and raiding, and sex was never a topic. After a few months of my hinting, I gave up. I shut my mouth praying that he would stop and see what was happening. Sigh…
About a year into him playing, he gave me a trial account. I played it to have some type of connection because we were falling so fast. (Yes, I have a level 70 Druid, and another toon - level 42 Mage.)
After some time with TBC out, he was obsessed with it more than ever. Nothing else mattered what so ever. I tried talking to him, tried to shock him with anger, and nothing worked. So, I filed for a divorce.
Now, he wants to give up the game and change. 2 years… 2 years… how do you give that back to a person? Sadly, there were other things to add to this, but had WoW not been such an issue, I would have been able to move on.
That is my story.
It is saddening to realize that for some people, World of Warcraft “never gets boring”. I would challenge that claim, in any case. Ten hours of nonstop WoW may be fun, but I’ll bet that twenty hours nonstop won’t be twice as fun. The Law of Diminishing Returns applies to everything.
I do not know if I can really call myself an addict, but I have been quite attached to my computer at times. (Not so much WoW, but those who are addicted to it might have simlar problems.) It took me a while to realize it, but the games I played seemed to follow the same pattern: I would have fun for the first hour or so playing a game, but somewhere in the second hour I would feel bored. And it took me a long time to even realize that I was bored. In any case, I learned to recognize that boredom as a cue to stop playing on the computer. A game is only worth the amount of fun a player gets out of it, and the longer one plays, the less one enjoys it. And in the end, World of Warcraft is only a game.
The saddest thing about gaming addicts is when they continue playing the game long after it has lost its fun. Of all of the boyfriends and husbands who have chosen WoW over their girlfriends and wives (and vice-versa), I wonder how many still enjoy the game?
I hope that, like me, they realize that spending day after day in front of a computer monitor playing the same game eventually loses its appeal, but maybe I’ve never truly been addicted.
I am so happy to have found this!! I’m am so torn up right now. I am on the verge of ending a 3 year realtionship because of this damn game! I do’t nkow what I can do anymore!! I have tried everything! I tried playing it, but the game doesn’t keep my attention. I have also tried working with him to set up a schedule as to when to play, but if we are out doing something, we basically had to drop whatever we were doing to get home so he could play the game! I have even bought him the expansion and game cards, so I wasn’t completely against this game. BUT, now I am I have tried everything and I can no longer take it. He’ll go days without a shower, which grosses me out sooo bad. He’s given up days to see his daughter and family to play this game. Now, I understand at least he’s not out at the bar or cheating on me, but I shouldn’t feel like I come second in his life. I am so fed up with this game!! If anyone is online AIM me at XARSSwope86, I would love to chat. I am such a mess right now, I’m so upset!
Wow, this is quite and epic thread you have here foton, how the hell did I miss this gem.
It’s hard to know who’s side to pick in this one. Obviously the wives with children have a point. Once you become a dad your catass days are pretty much over, that is until your kids are old enough to farm primals for you, am i right?
I guess the line I like the most is the people who talk about WoW as something that keeps their significant other from socializing. I play WoW with all my friends from home and my brother and I keep in touch with people that I otherwise would rarely ever speak to. I’ve made real friendships through the game and I know you retards can’t stand hearing that but it’s the truth. It might not be a kind of socializing that you’re comfortable with (probably because it doesn’t include you) but to pretend that the game isn’t inherently social is stupid, so please find another argument.
I guess the people who I really feel bad for are the guys who got stuck in a relationship that they most certainly regret when all they want out of life is some purples and maybe a bong hit. Keep you chin up guys!
God it’s good to know I’m not alone. I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years and I love him dearly. I understand how fun gaming can be I’m a gamer myself. However, I have a life outside WoW which he doesn’t anymore. I finally put my foot down and now we have one day where he must spend time with me or go out. He still won’t get a job because he’s too busy playing so that’s my next challenge. Can anyone help with this?
i play on wow but when i got it i were on constently my girlfreind is pregnant and all i did was just carrid on playin wow as soon as i finished work i were streight on the pc till i went to bed and at weekends i were up at 5 am till 5am lol …. but i have realised that its just no good the games going no where so why should i worry about it.. now i hve a couple of days playing it and a couple of days spendin time with my girlfreind havin nighits in or out… it can be done ..its just that you see the game as a race to lvl 70.. but when you get to lvl 70 thats it.. so wots the big rush.
yeah heres a great way to get him to go to work.. cancle the subscription on wow and tell him to get a job so he can pay for it himself that will get him off his arse
“Warcraft Widows”…
I couldn’t help looking through this thread on “warcraft widows” and the wide gamut of comments. Technorati Tags: addiction, Warcraft, World of Warcraft……
i had a great friend….we both started playing world of warcraft around the same time and even did some quests together every once in a while….prior to the world of warcraft thing we would talk everyday and talk about actual meaningful things…after starting to play WoW her conversations mainly consisted of talking about world of warcraft stuff…i played it alot but i am not addicted….i mainly would get online and play WoW just to talk to my best friend…..she got to where she would never quest with me and i would literally spend hours and hours just waiting to hear from her…so i got a little jealous when she would spend all that time online questing with the same people everynight and hardly ever talking to me…the daytimes when we would normally talk were now silent….she was to busy playing that damn game… so basically i friendship ended over a computer game….she would get mad when i would ask why she wont speak to me while playing and said that i was “crazy” for wanting to know what i did wrong to make her stop talking to me…she is a wonderful person, she is beautiful, has 3 great kids, and had a really really loyal and devoted friend until WoW ruined everything….if i had 3 wishes the first would be for world peace , the second would be for all the wealth and happiness and health for my daughter and the third would be to end WoW and get my best friend back….
i used to be a wow widow. i even made a spreadsheet to prove to my bf that he really did spend more time playing wow than anything else (including work, school, or sleep). i hated the game and i was mad at him for playing it.
then i sat down and made a little baby rogue. if ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
now there are times when he begs me to quit playing. too bad. he can do his own laundry, i’ve got a karazhan raid. muahaha.
I think this game is the biggest waste of time I have ever heard of! I spend days alone taking care of my baby daughter while my husband wastes his life away on the computer. All of the precious moments watching his little girl grow up are being lost to him forever. I am at my wit’s end! He is completely addicted to this game. I confront him and he tells me he plays so much because I don’t pay any attention to him. How can you pay attention to someone who is locked up in a computer room all day??? He never has to lift a finger in the house. I take care of everything. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. So now I guess all of this is my fault, according to him. I just want my husband back. One of these days, I’m going to take a hammer to this computer if he doesn’t stop neglecting his family over this game. Any suggestions on what I should do would be greatly appreciated.
Hi all, I’ve just read all the posts and they are like evil whispers & memories of everything that has been said, done & seen over the last few years.
My ex-husband and I are recently divorced, pretty much due to his addiction to the internet and more recently warcraft, and his addiction to cyberdating, after a twenty year relationship.
Myself & the kids are heart broken but he’s ok as he has met several ‘ladies’ on line & his latest, Paula, from Holland, doesn’t work and flies over to see him (coming again today) so they can sit on their computers opposite each other, ‘playing’ together.
We were still a couple at Christmas and new year, then he said she was a friend & just invited herself over, so I left him alone to break it to her that he had just been cyber-flirting only to find that they were having s*x behind my back, after she went home, he sent me a valentine’s card, told me he loved me & said sleeping with her may have been a mistake.
He is screwing my head up!
Now she’s coming again, he says she just invited herself again and he can’t be rude & say no, so me & the kids have to stay away for a fortnight this time.
Yes, I’m stupid, very stupid, but you can’t say I haven’t tried, but this has broken a whole family.
It was me who loved warcraft (the old ones) so he bought WOW for me as a pressie, then he got so addicted I could never get near it, now I hate it with a passion, the passion that used be be us
and i thought my story was bad… i can’t believe men are choosing this thing over their families. did i say men? i meant boys.
I sought out this site today because I’m thinking of divorcing my husband. Over the last two years my husband and I have tried to come up with a way to incorporate his gaming into our lives, but it isn’t working. It makes me sad because he has tried. We have set aside “family time” so that we can have dinner, talk, and play with our 2 year old, but he’s just miserable. During that time, he’s usually very quite and just sits there out of obligation.
I don’t blame the game, I blame the addiction. I have seen him struggle with his love for the game and the love he has for his family. I really don’t think there’s anything more we can do, we even tried marriage counseling.
This weekend I’m going to ask him to give up his gaming completely and if he can’t, then I have to leave.
angie
don’t let that guy walk all over you, sounds like he’s a repeat offender.
you’re the only one who’s going to hurt in the long run, if you let him stick around.
i don’t think you’re the one who deserves to be hurting.
you’re going to do what you’re going to do, but i would really ask you to think twice about giving evil people like that the power to hurt you.
Reading down through these posts have given me a different perspective. I play usually 2-3 hours a night and I try to do it when my girlfriend is out doing her own thing but it still gets in the way of quality time with her. So much of what everyone is saying is so familiar b/c I know I’m guilty of them. I think it’s time I tone down on WoW and let her know that she’s more important to me than my computer.
As soon as I get to level 70 that is…
j/k
hey, I just read every post, and I have to say that you WoW widows have my complete and utter sympathy and some of the ignorants posting on here deserve to be half drowned in icy water.
my (now ex) bf got me into WoW xmas ‘05, I was not and never had any desire to be a gamer before then. However I rapidly became extremely addicted. “Real life” took on a dreamlike quality and I was able to forget responsibilities with ease; there were solid months when I spent every living moment playing WoW. I started playing as soon as I got up and only took breaks for essentials (fortunately I included lectures in this), I even dreamt WoW, heard the music and sounds when I wasn’t playing.
It took me six months to realise that my writer’s block was caused by WoW - that it had completely taken over my life, and another month before I quit… would have probly been a lot longer if my account hadn’t accidently got canceled. I’m not sure I would have realised I had a problem if I hadn’t wondered why I couldn’t write any more. That summer… I stayed with my bf for 3.5months and was completely neglected (not for WoW - he was never addicted, quit months before me) - I was literally begging like some kind of animal for a fraction of his attention, so I know exactly how you ladies (and gentlemen) feel. I started playing WoW again - from scratch, I’d sold everything and given my gold to a friend - because of the pain and loneliness from being neglected got too much by autumn, and I needed someplace to escape.
I have it under control… most of the time. After reading everything I think I’ll quit; you can make some amazing online friends - the relationship you have with them is very different to real life friends partly because they can be incredibly diverse, people you would never ordinarily see. Or maybe it’s just because I find it easier to express myself in writing than by speaking. But before I became a gamer I used to never get bored. And I’m starting to find it difficult to amuse myself again.
WoW is highly addictive… and it changes you. A little WoW probly often changes you for the better (I definately agree it’s better than most of the crap on tv), but it’s so easy to fall into too much and start losing yourself, to only feeling “you” while playing. And yeah of course, there’s always the feeling of “as soon as I’ve done this” and then you turn around and it’s been - how many hours? “Real life” just can’t compete with something where anything can be achieved if you try hard enough.
Advice wise…
if they’re blatently addicted and tell you that’s not true, they could quit anytime… I’d recommend you ask them to prove it. Ask them to go without WoW for a month: account must be cancelled and they can’t use someone else’s, they’re not allowed to check any WoW-related forums, they’re allowed to talk about it a couple of times each day (to guildies to keep upto date - let them do this or they’ll probly refuse altogether) and after that they have to pay a forfit of some kind. Let them feel the withdrawl symptoms. Don’t make it a punishment tho, offer love and support as rewards for admitting trouble. And if they can get through it - it took me about 3 weeks before I started feeling “clean” again, so maybe it’ll give them a headstart. At least if not they’ll know they have a problem. And don’t let them forget it. I could have quit WoW so much more easily if my ex had been a bit more firm with me.
If they’re not willing to prove it or admit that they have a problem, even if you’re ready to leave, tbh I think there’s nothing you can do for them. As I mentioned, “real life” can get dreamlike which means that they don’t feel like they’re in a relationship any more (except when someone asks them to accept their responsibilities - and that’s like an annoying gnat buzzing in their ear) - and cybering with that gamer chick suddenly doesn’t feel like cheating >.
Part 2… lol.
Moms - if you don’t want to leave for the sake of your kids, you have to take into account that it’s not like they have a dad any more anyway. And he’s definately not setting a good example. Tbh I think WoW should be rated 18+ at least (it’s like drugs or alcohol after all), and I wish 21+ because then I’d have never started playing it.
I think it’s unreasonable to ask someone to completely give up a hobby unless they’re unable to keep it to a reasonabe level. Like me.
If they’re trying to quit… show them how great life is
Help them find at least one absorbing hobby to help them get through the cravings - I recommend novels… if they like WoW, they’ll probly like fantasy (great way to escape - but easy to “pause”).
(sorry, forgot to copy this bit)
There’s probly a ton more I could say, but it’s late and I’m tired. I just wish you all the best of luck with everything.
http://www.nickyee.com/daedalus/archives/001544.php
therapist recommends “natural consequences”, i.e. stopping doing their shopping/cooking/washing, etc
I tried everything, even begging, the kids tried to get him to spend some time with us but he was completely obsessed. He would get up at stupid o’clock in the morning to play, go back to bed when we got up (on the sofa in the living room, closer to the computer) then wake up at lunch time then go straight back to Warcraft, play solidly and be drunk by about 8o’clock, then get really nasty ’cause things weren’t going right, so we had to keep out of his way. I swear if I hadn’t fed him (at the computer) he would have starved to death. He’s still got that ‘lady’ here, she’s almost ten years older than him and I know he’s not really that ‘into’ her as he keeps coming round and cuddling me and telling me how much he misses me & loves me. It breaks my heart that this game has so taken him over that he has lost his family. I did stop all the washing, ironing, stopped being the only one cleaning ect and the house just got into a tip, then he would say, the house is a mess, and I’d think good god, we both work full time & you spend every waking moment on warcraft, in the end the house got into such a mess, I couldn’t do it alone & was glad to see the back of it when I left him.
I’m trying to have as little contact with him as I can Eric, it’s almost like weening myself off of drugs, he was my best friend for twenty years, until he got the computer we spent all of our spare time together, rang each other at work several times a day and right up until recently were still texting & emailing each other just to say how much we love one another.
All the old things he used to enjoy, he hates now, Warcraft’s the only thing in his life and I know he’s hurting just as much as us.
I do wish I hadn’t had to divorce him and get me and the kids away but they do have a better life now, more structured & less stress, although we all still miss him
Oh and yes, he is a repeat offender, I told him saturday that I wasn’t going to cry for him anymore, when he was telling me how much he missed me and he said, no, I’m not worth it
What’s interesting is how much this one topic transcends many others in the category “Relationship”. For example ID comments: “..and cybering with that gamer chick suddenly doesn’t feel like cheating”.
This begs the question, “at what point is it cheating?” Is chatting online with someone cheating, if yes,when does it become cheating? If your significant other is looking at porn, or flirting with the girl at the grocery market, restaurant or a random gamer man/woman online, should this be a problem?
If you trust your significant other, shouldn’t it not matter if they flirt with another person in any situation? When is flirting bad? Should you even be so invovled in your significant other’s life that you know when and what type of flirting is going on? If they want to be someone online that they aren’t in real life, why is that such a bad thing so long as they don’t blur the edges? Much human behavior research has indicated that it’s healthy to keep flirting even when you’re in a relationship. It gives you confidence, and keeps you sharp in your skills of interaction with the opposite sex. That being said, there comes a point when turning a blind eye and being naive to all this can leave you harmed….to trust or not trust and when one might wonder?
Jealousy has been defined as a vigilance in guarding something, so one could put the spin on some of these entries that the complainer might have pre-existing issues with confidence in self or the relationship. If you’re guarding something, it means you think there’s a risk it might leave or get taken away. Why is that feeling there? What does the other person in the relationship say or do to make you feel like you’re fighting against a game for love/attention?
I would be lying if I said I sometimes didn’t wonder was bein’ said between the guildies during chat, but likely, it’s innocent and if my partner leaves me for someone online there’s nothing I can do to prevent that. I don’t feel threatened at this point by WoW but I can definitley identify with those who do and whose lives it has played a significant part in hurting.
Reading this board has been really informative and eye opening.
I would say that cheating is when you cross the line between flirting and start telling people you love them. My ex-husband started ‘chatting’ to a girl of fifteen, when I started to dig, the stuff they were saying was more than x-rated and definately illegal, it moved on to phone calls, then they were ‘in love’ although they had never met, then they met!!!!!
I don’t want my love to be telling other women he loves them.
The new ‘old lady’ has been cybering with him for over a year, he said they were just friends, but once again, when I saw what he was saying, it was well across the LINE, now like I said she’s here and they are having real s*x, after only having really known each other for a couple of days.
He said it wasn’t planned and it just happened…..s*x doesn’t just happen, he had to have consciously crossed the line between flirting and starting a relationship, which he shouldn’t have done, and he knew was wrong because if he hadn’t known it was wrong, he wouldn’t have felt the need to hide it, lie & cheat.
I f we had problems he should have addressed them with me instead of using the internet to trawl for desperate sad school girls and bl**dy pensioners!
By the way ladies…I am an avid gamer, I have a well-paying job, and an MBA. I am an ex college athlete and not at all the “Nerd” type. I started playing WoW as a hobby and enjoyed tremendously. I only played 1-3 hours a day when I first started. I still had time for my daughter, work, and my wife. For whatever reason, my wife and I have grown apart. WoW is a way for me to stay inside the house and not go out and cheat on her or get into trouble, because to tell you the truth…sex is not what it used to be. yea yea yea you are gonna say I am not as good either but after 7 years with the same person who doesnt touch you, kiss you or get freaky the way they used to, I’d much rather play WoW than fake loving her. So, my point is if your significant other would rather play WoW than have sex with you, maybe you need to stimulate your significant other in a way that detracts them from the game. I have tried to communicate with my wife that I need stimulation in my life to keep me motivated. That stimulation can be sex, actually talking to me with something important to say, family activities, freaky sex, or WoW, (did I mention freaky sex?). take your pick ladies…if your man is a gamer try role-playing and getting freaky with him. I bet my WoW account that if you do more than just lay there in bed during sex, he would hit it so good your head would spin. he would PWN you in so many ways you’d think he “respecced”. try it, you both might enjoy it…
Been there, tried it, even over the damn computer, shuvved my boobs in his face, wandered round naked, the lot. He was just always too tired & too drunk to finish anything, takes much less energy to talk about s*x than to do it. I do wonder if they call each other by their game names in bed, she’s so much older than him, maybe he still doesn’t have to make too much physical effort, lord and lady o.a.p.s.
Neither of them need their bodies, just a couple of monitors back to back and their right hands, be just like when she’s not there.
Hmmm, shove your boobs in my face and see what happens…lol. Feel free to call me Zaolin all you want!!! lol
I must admit he did look up and say ‘you’ve got a magnificent pair of breasts, I love them’, then went back to playing :0(
I googled Zaolin and came up with a couple of chinese MPs and a deck hand from an RPG about Argonauts!!! ???????? D’oh, just call me thick lol
I googled Angie Carter and found a magnificent pair of breasts, I will brt!
BTW Apples, I hope you read my blogs
:00
Here I am up at 2am because my husband just came to bed at his regular time again after playing WOW. I am so sick of this game. I have begged and pleaded for just a bit of his time but no the guild he is incharge of now is too important.
I don’t get it. All he does is play play play. He gets mad at me when I go out 1 time a week to the casino with my mother to play a bit of slots but its okay for him to sit 7 days a week and play for up to 6-8 hrs at a time. Calculated out that is almost 42 hours a week-more than the hours he works! He would rather play than sleep most nights.
I think it’s sad that I can google search world of warcraft widow and come up with this site or any other site for that matter on this topic. What a strange world we live in.
I can really sympathise with all of you here. My boyfriend of four years is a WoW addict, and while I don’t mind his gaming, when i lean over to him and whisper in his ear to sexily invite him to bed and he says “No babe, i’m busy on the raid”, that’s when you realise how serious his problem is.
As I said, I’m a gamer myself, while I don’t like WoW, I play Stormreach online, but even though I play, my sessions are about 2-3 hours every 2 or 3 days!
I finally got through to him though, I took the car while he was too oblivious in the game to notice my leaving, and went to stay at a sympathtic friend’s house. He panicked at 1am when he finally got up for a bathroom break to realise I wasn’t there and almost rang the police before i came home to confront him. We did have a big fight (i think my method of getting the messge through was rather cruel), but he got the message that I will not put up with him putting the game before our relationship.
It’s been a week now, and although he still plays, the amount of time he spend on it has definately decreased, which was all I wanted in the first place. Hopefully now he can keep this up, and I get the loving, sweet guy that I used to love back.
fuckin fuck. you fuckin hound me for sex and when our CHILD you hardly spend any time with is finally asleep you blow me off for your WoW friends? Let’s see who gets blowed now. Ain’t gonna be you, fucker.
and, BTW, i played Diablo to hell several times before we had the kid. i loved it but i can discern between entertainment and responsibility and clearly, you ain’t fulfilling your responsibilites.
our marriage is a fucking commitment to our union but i don’t feel united with anything other than my vibe lately.
Well I just read over all these posts…makes you think hard about things.
My BF plays WOW…too much for me sometimes. I cannot see myself playing ever…why? Because they actually want you to pay 15.00 a month for that…uh no.
I love him so I am willing to put up with it…to a point. BTW I HATE sappy chickflicks…so don’t start that crap. I just want to spend some time face to face talking, going out and doing things instead of seeing the back of his handsome head every weekend.
I am tired of hearing about the raids…I am tired of hearing ‘the guild needs me’…what about me needing him?
I dunno…wish there was some way those of us out there who do actually know what we are going through to help our loved ones to STOP the addiction. Tone it down a bit…
And they say that WE are needy…sheesh!
I really wish I had known what to do, I tried asking nicely, tried making nice meals, got dvds (horror & war), tried dressing up, told him we were having problems everything. The more I tried to heal us, the more he pulled away. It really is an addiction, it kills families.
It’s too late for us now, what a waste of twenty years & our loved kids.
I drove past him the other day, past our old house with our eldest in the car, he did a u-turn and parked beside me, would the window down and was very tearfully telling us how much he loved us & missed us, blowing kisses, it broke my heart to see him so upset, even tho I knew he was going home to her. When I pulled away I burst into tears and just kept saying, stupid man, stupid, stupid man, while our daughter was getting choked. I know he’s not happy, we’re not happy, he’s invited us for a long weekend when she’s gone home, wants to take us all out to the pictures, have a drink, get an Indian, and there’s only one bed at his house. I’ve had to say no, because I know what will happen, my eldest said ‘everytime Daddy breaks your heart he breaks ours too’ I can’t let him hurt us again.
Does anybody know if you can claim compensation from Blizzard for the loss of husband, family home, and all the hurt & upset? They owe me and my fatherless children!
I have finally put my foot down. I told it is WOW or his family. If WOW is more important to him than his family, then he is welcome to take his computer and find somewhere else to park his computer.
If his family is more important then he is to close out his WOW accounts and make his family his number one priority again.
Last year I kicked him out of the house because of his addiction. He begged me to let him come back and he would cut back on gaming time. Which he did for a couple months but then slowly it became worse again. So this time there is no cutting back. It’s all or nothing.
I don’t have time to be a parent to another teen ager when I have 2 boys that are soon going to be teen agers themselves!
I was patient for 12 years with an alcoholic in my previous marriage. I will NOT be that patient this time around. The kids and I are worth so much more than that!
Angie carter??? R you from Martinsville? You sound really familiar and the same first and last name of agirl i was so in love with once!
….i think everyone shoud …stop complaining about a game cuz its only a game …its your decision on if you want to ruen a relationship or not …if you know the person well enough then they should love you bck even if you play games or not …me and my BF use to play it …together if you think posotive about it and not negative then you wont have these stupis convos on a comp…its stupid haha i laugh at all you ppl lol but anyways ,…its your call if you wanna play WOW or not ..haha personally …i love it
” ruened relationships go to WOW, or WOW ruens relationships” …pick one 
L8ER
….frig i spelt my name wrong haha
” ruened relationships go to WOW, or WOW ruens relationships” …pick one L8ER
I’m so sick of this sexless marriage due to late night WoW I WANT TO SCREAM!!!…and screw some one else…
Sorry Craig, my married name is Angie Carter, and I come from England, so it’s not me I’m afraid.
And as for Sabrina, who are you? and are you a few keys short of a keyboard……
yeah Sabrina…I’m afraid no one is going to take your post very seriously when you sound so f’in stupid. You sound like the stupid pathetic type of a person that would be playing WOW all day and thinking your BF looks hot while raiding…not impressed. If anything you only validated my feelings towards this game and the people that play it…pathetic socially retarded losers.
actually Sabrina…if english is your second language than I kinda apologize for the post above. If not, I stand by it.
hi my names craig my sisters bf has gotten addicted to wow and now my parents wont let me play i dont play much maybey only 5-10 a week but they say they dont wanna take the risk i think this is really unfair i have even put it on parent control for them but they wont have any of it can anyone help me plz email me if u can acdc10rock@hotmail.com
OMFG! Hesitant! You are the same idiot you are criticizing! I hope English is your second language because not only do you not know the difference between THAN or THEN, but English is actually capitalized. Stop spending your time criticizing people you retarded ignorant bitch. Feel free to criticize me when you get your Master’s degree too!
Muffdiver…lol…okay. Touche. Guess I should have proof read that one. Having masters degree doesn’t make you any less ignorant! I read your previous posts and I could careless what a disillusioned WoW’er thinks of me. People that not only play this game, but also, those who spend an absured amount of time online are so out of touch with real life that I could careless what you think. Join the rest of us in the real world and put your education to use rather than spending your spare time in the glare of a monitor while complaining about your partners lack of “freaky sex”. Do you think she can be atracted to you while you are in front of the computer?
Angie,I lived in England for five years, Bedfordshire, england to be more detailed. Man do I miss it over there, so very romantic. actually, your post soundslike a romantic tragedy!
Hi Craig, yes, it feels like a romantic tragedy, he was my soul mate, best friend & lover since I was 18, not much older than our kids. He was such a wonderful man, I adored him and he me. When the kids were small, we had a wonderful life, he didn’t want to go out, if he did he would always be home early because he missed me.
Then the internet turned up, he started drinking and just sitting there, I was working evenings while the kids were in bed to make ends meet, when I found out about his first affair with a 15 yr old, met on the internet, he said it was my fault, because I was working for our family and he was bored.
I forgave him and I took a full time job in the day & left our babies for him. Seven affairs later, mostly met on warcraft, but including my best friend (because I didn’t understand him) and my sister-in-law(because he was drunk?) I’ve finally given on forgiving him and saved myself & the kids.
He said the internet & warcraft & booze were his escape from me but he is still doing it, it wasn’t me, it was his obssession. He looks so bad, because of the booze and lack of food/fresh air, his skin is bad, his teeth are rotting, he is losing weight, he is always ill & looks dreadful, I’m really worried about him but am powerless to help, his conversations are totally screwy, he’s lost too many brain cells, he thinks he has done nothing wrong, it’s fine to spend every waking hour playing warcraft, stuff the kids, stuff work, stuff the wife & don’t stuff the wife :0)
I’m trying to forget him, it’s hard after 20 years to stop caring.
Craig, your first message to me was very romantic, it’s nice to know that some men are still worth talking to.
Thank you
Angie, i feel so crushed by your tragedy. I am so very touched because I have been through the same thing. In a strange twist by a girl with the same name as yours. I endlessly search for her love, but how can I be so stupid!? I hopeyou find the happiness you so very much want! Yousound so very sad. If you can, pour your love into your children. It is so very hard to let go of memories; however, memories are the past. And if we can’ let go of our past it will ruin our future!
Ok, Craig and Angie
Just swap email address’s and get it over with! LOL
:0)
Thanks Craig, I’m getting there!
Hope you get there too.
History should remain in the past
Kate, sorry! I am just very touched by Angie’s situation. For some odd reason I am worried for her. She seems like she just wants to be loved by someone, I feel a need to reach out and give her a hug
it’s fine. I found it kinda cute actually.
God damnit that was a long thread.
It seems to me you are a bunch of useless broads. I mean really, listen to yourselves. Im serious, go back and read what you’ve posted. Do you have any idea just how pathetic you sound? My boyfriend doesnt pay attention to me. My fiance’ is having cybersex with 15 year old boys pretending to be girls. My husband would rather play a game then have sex with me. Im not sure how you missed it but there is two very common things that are coming out of this thread.
1) You are in a relationship where your lesser other is largely treating you poorly. Holy crap, I dont think anyone has ever had to deal with that before. You think WoW is the problem? Yeah… right. WoW is just a mechanism for the larger problem. If it wasnt WoW then it would be work. If it wasnt work it would be the pub and spending time with his mates. If it wasnt any of those it would be something else equally mundane, common and frankly - typical. WoW is not the problem here, the problem is that you, like every person in the entire fucking world at some stage or another, is in a relationship that is not working. Get over it for fuck sake.
2) You are actually dealing with someone who is addicted to WoW like a heroine user is addicted to heroine. This is a different situation, and in the same way that a heroine addict ruins the lives of all those around him until he hits absolute rock bottom after alienating everyone that knows and cares for him and he ultimately dies or gets clean, people who are physically addicted to WoW, or anything really, other MMOs, alcohol, sex, or even work are identical. People have died from playing being addicted to WoW, so consumed that they simply forgot to eat for days straight - no one is trying to deny that it can be addictive. You need to seek professional help, you need to distance yourself from that person, you need to let them realise just how badly their habit is destroying everything that they hold dear, and hopefully, at the end of it all, they will come out of it. Do not allow yourself to be dragged down with them. If you partner started shooting up heroine, you would not hesitate to take your children away from someone who is obviously self-destructive and dangerous to be around. There is no difference here.
And so there you have it, either STFU (shut the fuck up) and get over yourselves because its not an addiction, its that they just arent that interested. Or alternatively, get help, get out and put yourself and your family first. If you cant tell the difference? Then the answer is resolutely the first, and honestly, you must be really really fucking bored to come read / post here.
Not bored, just desperate to know if others have been thru the same, and that I’m not mad.
Probably the problem is a bit of both of your arguments but it still left the kids without a Dad.
He can’t afford to eat, go to the dentist or have his heating on but he can still afford to pay for Warcraft & his internet, he’s now going on about maybe loosing his flat, which I paid the deposit on, & first month’s rent plus the furniture. That’s an addiction and that’s why I have taken my kids away, but it doesn’t stop us loving him, or it being a tragedy and I know he’s in pain too.
And Craig, thank you, I did need a hug, and I felt I got one
Oh and Mark, if that’s you…………
Angie: Yes you are obviously catagory B. And yes, im sure you loved him, but tough love is what he needs. Let him lose his house, its a shame you probably wont be getting that deposit back, or the first months rent, but in the greater scheme of your situation I dont think that is too important, do you?
Only when he looks up from the side of the street, and makes the realisation of what has happened to his life - will it be time for him to start the process of putting the pieces back together. Until then hes still on the downward spiral, and the longer you try to help him the more you are just extending that spiral. Sure, dont give up on him, be there for him at the end, but dont try and fix things along the way. There is a definte point in every case where help actually becomes a detrimental contribution, when an addict is far enough along the road that they need to make a self-realisation and they need to be the ones that instigates the process, not you. With any luck maybe your children will have their father back someday, but from your perspective, moving on was definitely the right choice.
Yes, you are absolutely right, I know it deep down, do wish it hadn’t happened tho, he was a lovely man.
Moving away was the only choice in the end, but we are so much better off and looking to the future.
LMAO man I just can’t contain my laughter at you fucking contraDICKting shity hormonal freaks, like you’re moaning and whining about your fucking men spending all their time playing wow or what ever game you want to moan about, shitting hell you D- retards, you do realise that this gaming is done on the internet don’t ya??? Hell no of course you don’t, how could you with your own heads so far up your arses you see the moon with teeth around it, talk about reality, the real world, pull your heads out once in a while, wash your own righteous shit from your eyes and god damn hair and then take a real good look around you, oh yea, and while you’re at it, have a think where another term for “WIDOW” comes from, could it be anything to do with the “BLACK WIDOW SPIDER” the self-righteous arachnid that kills off it’s spouse once it’s had what it needs from him, shit, you calling them addicts and nerds, what the fuck you all think you’re doing here posting! man if only you women were as good at sucking your men as you are at posting, then maybe you’d not be single and looking for “Mind Loooooove” and sympathy. Geeeeeeez
But also Widows of wow, beware, be very aware as there is a new arachnid amongst you, prowling this forum for his prey, yes I said a he and his transparency is so obvious should you wipe your self pitiful tears from your mind, but don’t worry for the Son of God is here to save you all, kneel God damn it and bow before the Oracle of all relational problems, be praised LMAO
PS, yea man, contadickting was miss-spelt on purpose, for those of you who might think I’m from outer Mongolia just to appease your instability. Thank you for the laughs by the way
And no, I don’t play wow, I just know women are as fucked up as men, rock on dudetts.
Just wanted to leave a note that women are not the only victims here. But, I can completely relate to them. I have two children, an 8 year old and 10 month old. My wife because consumed with L2 when I was bored of playing after 1 month. Not knowing how deeply addicted she was, I let her have her freedom to play. Something she would dramatically insist on having. HER FREEDOM TO PLAY. Little did I know that she was chatting out of game and even having cybersex with some of the damn geek boys! This was her “safe” cheating as they weren’t in person. As if any phone sex would be forgiveable as well… I would often comment on the flirtation and insist that she not get wrapped up in these trivial relationships. Stupid ass me since she had already escalated to cheating. I let her talk me into getting WOW and she had boyfriends that followed. WTF! I should have cut it off, but all I could do was beg that she pay attention to our infant child and not yell at our 8 year old daughter. Forget the lack of her participation in my life or our home… Then she lashed out at me, saying I was to blame for her unhappiness. THAT I WAS A TYRANT AT HOME DEMANDING HER TO DO MY WILL…. Believe me, I have been nothing, but patient and look what it got me. I even believed her a little that maybe I did do something wrong, that I was to blame and did not deserve to live! DON’T LET THEM CONVINCE YOU!! YOU ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG EXCEPT TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO WAKE THEM UP!! I’m afraid that divorce may be inevitable, but I care too much to give up now… She has deleted her game and all the elements that have come with the addiction! I have gotten her to delete her MySpace, IM, WOW, L2 and webmail accounts… I hope I can forgive her for her infidelity!!! Having a stable and happy family is so important, that I need to find a way to forgive and forget, but somehow not loose myself in doing that! I can’t deal with the pain forever, so how do I extinguish the anger and disgust I am suppressing inside???? There is so much to say, but this forum is already so long…
Ok, couple of points, 1. yes I am aware that some, not all gaming is done on the internet. Your point about that being? switch it off? My kid is in final yr of high school and kinda needs it at the moment.
2. Um, WIDOW used as term of a spouse that has died came before the spider, thats where the spiders got the name from. And how do you know they are self-righteous? The male spider may have pissed her off? She may have PMS? Doesn’t really matter, she wins
3. WE are living in the REAL world. It is the addicted gamer that chooses to live in fantasyland.
4.LOL the gamer would get more sucking if they got off the computer and showered more!
5. yes I agree with this last statement.
6. Anymore holes that you would like me to pick in your arguement little boy?
LMAO if you liking little boys “Another Kate” you should not really be here, but then again who am i to criticise your desires like you do others LMAO
Where did I say I “liked” little boys? Learn to read complete sentences not just words.
I called YOU a little boy
and “like” has nothing to do with THAT!
Why is “another kate” always on here? “Another kate”, I am a wife and I love WOW! Shut up with your tacky “feel sorry for me” inputs. I come on this site to read other info about the game and from time to time, I come to this blah blah forum and read what is up with the latest boohoos and I always see you. Maybe if you werent so busy on the internet pouring out your whiney butt comments then maybe your man or whatever would not have got busy fingering the keyboard and maybe fingering you. My husband and I play together and its awesome couple time and the foreplay is so much fun as well. We pst. each other with I think your sexy and hey baby come do me messages and trust me our bed sees much action.
For everyone else that complains, like I have said before. Shut up..its just a game and understand there are some people, knowing I am one, that dont like to get out and fool with the rest of the stupid world. Rather get up go to work, come home kiss myhusband and enjoy a good dungeon or a few quest. Give my man some love and go to bed. Does the “other” person in your life HAVE to be sitting next to you at all times? GET A LIFE!!! I am not a big holy roller but if any of you are “christians” then read proverbs about a nagging wife.
-A Nagging wife is like a drippy faucett!!!
LOL at nagging wife. Most of my posts are not just about my life but about other’s stories.
He wants to sit and play wow, you want to sit and play wow? great, good for you, I happen to like to go and and “fool” with the real world.
And I don’t consider the 2 minutes it takes yo reply to a post before work as “spending all my time on here”. I check the news, read a few forums and thats about it. The rest of the time I spend at work, with my kids and with my family. You know, important stuff.
Great that foreplay to you is a few key strokes while your partner kills a Boss, I prefer a real kiss compared to /kiss. Go figure.
I even play wow *shock* but not to the detriment of my family. I am not anti-wow, I have a family and to me that should always come first. I would find it hard for anyone in their right mind to disagree that kids should wait until you finish a raid before you get them dinner or spend time with them.
But that’s what some gamers do. It’s not just their “nagging” partners that they are ignoring, but the children that they chose to bring into this world. One woman had DSS on her doorstep because she left her husband in charge of the 2 yr old why she went shopping and when she got home the cops were there as the Dad was too busy playing wow he didn’t notice HIS child open the front door and go onto the road.
This isn’t all about “me, me, me” we as parents are responsible for our kids. Maybe when you have some you will know this. Or if you do, you may have it more under control. But not everyone is like you.
Well, I don’t know what to say to any of this because I’m only 16. I have a boyfriend who is completely drowning in world of warcraft, and I don’t really care that he wants to play, or whatever. It’s his choice. But what pisses me off is that he won’t give me a few minutes to say “Hi, how are you?” Instead, like he did on friday, he opens the door and runs back so he can finish his game and mind you, he lives in a building. I was made to walk 3 flights by myself in a place I’ve only been to three times in my life. Last night, I wanted to talk to him about being a little rude lately, and I wanted to ask him to lay off a bit, to which he laughed and didn’t take me seriously. He thought I was being accusatory and I was wrongfully accusing him of things he didn’t do. Believe me, and I think all girls will agree, but you just know when someone, especially your boyfriend, is giving you complete edge. Like last week, before the break, he was like, “Oh, I can’t wait to see you, I miss you…bla bla bla,” now all I get is a, “Sure, why not.” I’m not asking him to give up the game for me, I’m not asking for his complete attention. All I’m asking for is at least a good five minutes. Is that so wrong? Just a little respect and consideration. Last friday, I was there for two hours and I literally spent more time with his mother because he had a “quest” to complete. I was telling him this, and I noticed he wasn’t listening, and I asked if he was. He replied, ” I am, but what you’re telling me is unimportant.” I was shocked. I said, “So, you think that everything I’m telling you is unimportant?” and he said, “Well yeah.” I was literally going to cry, and lots of people think I should have slapped him, but we were on the phone so I couldn’t. I’m usually quite talkative, as in I like a good conversation, but I was growing quiet, which is what I do when I’m upset, and he asked me, “Are you going to say anything,” I said, “What do you want me to say?” He said, “I don’t know, but if you’re not going to say anything, then you are wasting my time.” I was completely floored. Shattered if you will. I asked, ” So are you saying I’m a waste of time?” to which he bluntly said, “Well, if you’re not going to say anything, then yeah you are. I’m busy playing and you’re just wasting my time and it’s pissing me off.” I’m not one to cry often, but that did it. I cried. That was one of the most hurtful things that anyone has ever said to me. I mean, I’ve had worse, but….Holy shit. Pardon my language, but, is this what becomes of those who become addicted to this game? I had no idea that it was “wrong” for a concerned girlfriend to ask for just a few minutes of her boyfriend’s time. Anyways, my mom found out, she somehow involved herself and was yelling, but I told her to go away. I’m a teenager so, yeah, you know how it is. She later said I was wasting phone and life time for this arguement, which of course just frustrated me even more. Then I ended up being late for school this morning, and she yelled at me saying I was stupid for arguing, and I was just being pitiful. I’m barely ever late, I’m actually quite early. Then I called her after school telling her I was going to Paul’s house and she wouldn’t let me simply because she thought he was “crap”. I didn’t do anything wrong, and I was being punished for a mere arguement that was no concern of hers. I told Paul, and he simply brushed it off his shoulders, told me to call him later, and hung up. No goodbye, nothing. Later on msn, he asked, “So I guess I’m not seeing you for a while huh?” and I said, “Maybe not. But think of it this way, more playing time for you.” He didn’t note my sarcasm and replied, “That’s right! Oh man! That’s great!” My boyfriend is falling for this game and he’s bringing our relationship with him. I don’t hate the game, I just hate what it’s doing to someone I care about. You may critisize me, saying I’m just a miniscule little teenager, what the hell do I know. She’s only 16, she “haven’t seen the world yet”. Well, I’ve seen enough of this world. And if all it has to offer is warcraft and a boyfriend that will say those things to me, when a week ago they were things he wouldn’t dare say, then I think this world needs to be remade. I think there needs to be a limit. But hey, what do I know?
‘LMAO’ you’re way too p*ssed off to be neutral, so what’s your story or are you one of the widow’s dead husbands……..shirty because it’s easier than taking responsibility for your actions, you sound angry at yourself.
And as for WOWChick well, don’t really need to say anything, you’re a joke.
RL Guy, hope you are happy in the future and she realises what an a*se she’s been. Another Kate, I’ve enjoyed your calm, rational posts, thank you
Rebecca, leave him, you aren’t trapped yet, if he’s like this now it’ll only get worse.
Now can all the nasty people on here just butt out, leave us alone to winge, you are obviously not reading the posts properly!
Dear Widows and Gamers’ Significant Others,
I appreciate all the stories you’ve told and the advice you’ve offered. I wish there were easy answers — it’s obvious there’s not.
Unfortunately, this thread has grown to monster proportions and threatens to tear the very fabric of time and space. Thanks to the AFK Gamer sponsors, I can offer you a new home to share your experiences and tell your stories if you’d like.
I’ve set up a small forum area where you’re free to continue the discussion or begin new ones: the AFK Gamer forums. The forums are powered by bbPress and don’t have bells and whistles, but they should be sufficient for conversation. The Widows sub-forum is just for you guys. (Gamers, you are on a short leash in that forum. Behave or I can make you behave.)
I’m closing comments here, but if you have problems with the forums, you can always contact me at foton(at)afkgamer.com.