I, Caligula

Some old game hags, chatting about the good old days, via IMs and emails, remarking that the good old days were really not all that good and not that old either, but they were days. Everyone has scattered to the winds, landing in other virtual worlds, playing with other virtual friends in different virtual political systems … or, more commonly known as — The Guild.

Ancient Rome didn’t have the dirty deals and backstabbing that goes on in today’s game guilds. Your safest bet is your back against the wall and a few e-friends in high places. Better still that you have a few choice screenshots of your enemy saying more than he should in guild chat late one night when his spouse, real or virtual, was logged off.

Well, that’s admittedly hardcore — never hurts to have an ace though, does it?

Anyways, the game hag conversation turns to the current guilds of each, and how horrid, ineffective, sloppy and corrupt they are, when an informal competition arises. Exactly how bad are most of today’s gaming guilds?

“My guild is so bad, we only award DP (dragon kill points). We never kill bosses, just clear to and wipe at their feet.”

“My guild is so bad, our motto is: guildremove early and often.”

“My guild is so bad, the only time we get loot is when someone ninjas from another guild’s raid.”

“My guild is so bad, we call the leader Caligula and he’s flattered.”

“My guild is so bad, botted healers would be an improvement.”

“My guild is so bad, our raids are the kind of pain that alcohol cannot dull.”

“My guild is so bad, I’d rather read the Ironforge chat than guild chat.”

“My guild is so bad, IGE is always the top loot winner.”

“My guild is so bad, there’s a queue to guildremove.”

“My guild is so bad, noobs make fun of us.”

Pfft, lightweights! My guild is so bad, I blog about them.

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