If you’ve been in a few guilds, especially the hardc0re variety, I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences.
At least I hope so, or else that means that I, myself, am somehow a magnet for bizarre behavior. Not to stereotype hardcore guilds, but shit … something is attracting these interesting human specimens — I’m going with the hardcore theory.
These are the guildmates, and their corresponding kooky-ass real life situations, where I think to myself: I swear to God, only in my guild.
Exhibit A. Guildmate’s mom is in a wicked car accident. Her family isn’t even sure she’ll survive surgery. Guildmate’s first instinct: log into EverQuest to tell the guild why he won’t be able to join the raid that night and he needs some people to talk to.
I was symphathetic, of course. Damn. (Assuming it was true, and it’s always an assumption on the internet. Naturally, the story can’t be challenged in this situation. Just saying, word to the wise.)
But then I wondered, wtf, he has siblings, he has a father, wouldn’t they be the people he should talk to? My mom’s in a car accident, I am NOT logging into a game to get an excused absence from the guild.
Then I thought … I swear to God, only in my guild.
Exhibit B. Guildmate gets everyone’s attention in /guildchat the one evening before raidtime … he has an announcement to make. (O god.) He needed to request a leave of absence, for several months, and he hoped that when he returned, he would still have a spot on the roster. (ya ok, moving on. Oh wait, that’s not all!) He had to go to prison the next day and wasn’t sure when he’d be out. Thx.
As God is my witness, true story.
OF COURSE I asked! It was on everyone’s mind, it was practically my duty to pry, “err, what for?” He wouldn’t say. We guessed it was some drunk driving shit or possession charge. He never returned, now that I think about it, maybe he’s rotting in Gitmo.
I swear to God, only in my guild.
Exhibit C. Husband and wife guildmates (IRL, even!). Incredible loyalty and dedication, the type of guildmates everyone tries to recruit and keep happy. And they were easy to keep happy — they were twenty times the guildie I was.
So no complaints there. They had a lot of time to spend in the game, too. No children and, as they explained more than a few times, they had jobs that allowed them lots of free time.
The one night I was talking to the guildleader before logout time and I remarked that Mr. and Mrs. Guildie were great members and, probably, our best hires. He agreed, then asked if I knew what they did for a living. I didn’t know, but he did … and he was glad to share.
Mr. and Mrs. ran a network of some of the most popular porn sites on the internet. In fact, they had offered a free membership to any of the guildmates that wanted … hmmm, how to say? … to TRY OUT their sites. How the hell did I miss that offer?!?!?!
I challenged the GL, “CMON, that is so made up.”
“LOL, nope. I checked it out already. It’s all legit. So to speak.”
Now, ain’t that special.
And he added, “I swear to God. Only in our guild.”
hmmmm, pr0n webbies operators in a guild, yeesh, at least they play. our guild fell apart because everyone quit playing. GL went off and created a new guild, invitation only for the few of us who actually play a bit.
Sometimes, that’s what you gotta do.
That’s pretty hardcore. I’ve had bartenders who coerce housewives into infidelity, accidental pregnancies, and quadrapalegics, but no prison stints.
I’ve seen the infidelity with guildmates, not the accidental pregnancy, however. (yet)
Parapalegics (not a quad), ya. Drunk, foul-mouthed parapalegic that we met in a bar at a Fan Faire. But that’s another story entirely.
Was that bartender from Texas? Cuz I might know that guy.
I had a guildie who miraculously returned from the dead. She stopped playing one day and someone logged onto her account to tell the guild that she had accidentally shot herself and had passed on. Apparently she owned a ranch in Australia or something.
About 6 months later she showed back up and told us that she had indeed shot herself but it was in the leg and that she was laid up for a while.
Ya…whatever.
I’ve had both B and C happen in my gaming circles, once each. The person in question from B is out and playing again… I never did ask. Neither were in my guild at the time — it was on a MUD with a playerbase of about 100 active.
Speaking of hardcore players, when I was a guide in EQ back in the day I answered a petition that had been in the queue for over an hour.
The guy who sent the petition had died in sol b and wanted me to get his corpse for him because his wife was in labor and he couldn’t wait much longer to drive her to the hospital.
I just had this vision of his wife in the background screaming and him saying, “Hold on just a bit longer, I don’t want to lose my corpse!”
Love the shot self in leg story.
Everyone’s witnessed the miraculous cancer recoveries of MMOG players. It’s so prevalent, I’m wondering if there’s some sort of direct connection between gaming and cancer cures.
best things that happened to me:
1. One person coming down with Lung cancer (was never able to verify but he returned 6 months later and had pictures of himself without hair, so maybe even true)
2. One guy ending up in a car accident and the first thing he asked his brother to do on the mobile was come online and tell us (his guild) that he won’t be around for a bit…
3. a Female guildie running off mid-raid because “the baby is coming” (true)
3b. her husband logging on 40 minutes later asking where she is, before running off to the hospital after we told him.
2 is what i call dedication, a married couple that uses guildchat for relaying of messages should maybe see a counsellor (mobile phones have been invented for a while :p)
Have you ever had to /gkick someone because of stuff irl?
I was just kicked for taking up for 2 guildies who got kicked because they informed the leaders that they would be in and out of the game irregularly for the next 4 months while they made plans for their upcomming wedding. The leaders said that would be a ‘hindrence and detrimental to the health of the guild’, a guild with more than 70 level 60s. Which really is utter bs cause having 2 less mouths to feed just makes it easier for MC/Ony runs.
Talk about guild comradery. ;( All I was trying to point out was you dont kick guildies for getting married,you support them.