Celebrity Guild Wars Players

May 16, 2005 by at 5:33 pm • Filed Under Guild Wars Journal 
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Rumors and gossip of gaming celebrities abound in every game that’s ever gone live, but I think I spotted The Most Famous Gaming Celebrity Ever, and in Guild Wars of all places … known by many names, has had a book on the best-seller list for over a couple of centuries now, He needs no introduction:

This is God

DAYMMMNN.

I can understand how a virtual world would appeal to God. Many say that those who create them are playing God. I won’t go that far, but the temptation to dabble in others’ affairs and manipulate world events is irresistible.

Extra points for the player “Archer Henchman” next to God, and I’m a big enough person to admit that I did a double take when I saw a normally-stationery henchman running around in town.

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Legalos

Every game, there’s a pack of ranger/archer almost-roleplayers that insist on naming their characters some variation of Legolas, Aragorn or Strider of Lord of the Rings fame.

Truly I understand the pressure of facing that blank name choice at the character creation screen. Here’s two tips for next time, because I don’t dare hope that a customer service function will suddenly appear in this game and the Naming Police will vigilante this shit away.

One, just say “no” to LOTR names, in all their myriad misspellings and perverted forms. Just stop it. There is no clever play on LOTR word you can pull off successfully, short of mangling LOTR names into porno names.

Two, short and easy to spell is good. Efficiency is king in textual conversations.

End of lecture.

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Mass Murderer

I found a good partner for the GW dude, Ted Bundy. If they could hook up with Mass’s brothers, Serial and Axe, I think they’d have a guild that could terrorize the countryside.

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Sycophant

Best mob name ever.

Every office has at least one asslicking sycophant on the payroll. How sweet it is to lay waste to them, even if it is just a game. Possibly the White Mantle want to kill their sycophants as well. I’m just speculating, though.

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Yankees

At first glance, I thought this might be a team of New Yorkers paying homage to their beloved Yankees. (Their love, not mine … most definitely NOT mine.) A closer look reveals … oh. It’s registered to a European account.

Kick their asses anyways, Korea.

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Do Over

I really hate that 8-spell/skill limit on the action bar. I do understand the reasoning behind a limited skill set, but dammit, gimme at least ten, or better yet, outside a PvP area, let me swap skills out in the field. I practically have to use a safety checklist to make sure I don’t make (any more) dumass choices before I leave town.

Each character’s main profession has three skill lines (within each there are a few skills), plus a secondary profession with another three, PLUS you’ll need one or two slots for emergencies (your rezz, regen, basic heal, what have you) especially if you’re grouping with me — eight skills just isn’t cutting it.

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Green Lantern

GAH! For a minute there, I thought he was Robin Hood of the famous Merry Men, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

See how wrong I was? Jedi fashion does have a following.

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Martyr

I think I used to date a Charr Martyr. I have to say, by the looks of that Charr, the years have not been kind.



Comments

3 Responses to “Celebrity Guild Wars Players”

  1. Ethic on May 16th, 2005 8:27 pm

    The moron level is high in this game for sure.

    And what the heck is a latern? Let alone a green one…

    Signed, Gandolf Stromcraw.

  2. DGM on May 17th, 2005 3:30 am

    The text about taking the favour of the gods is actually not as you first thought. The guild Come On Yankee is a korean guild given that they just won and need to win four more times in order to take the favour of the gods away from the European guilds. Hope thats now clearer. =)

  3. Foton on May 17th, 2005 3:59 am

    Ya, clear as mud. But I’m not terribly bright, like a green latern.

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