Guild Wars: Day One — A Noob is Born

April 27, 2005 by at 6:50 pm • Filed Under Guild Wars Journal, Noteworthy 
Tags: , ,

One of us is born every minute. (and two to take us!)

I had tried out Guild Wars a few months ago, at their first Beta event. Damn, maybe that was almost a year ago. (It was almost a year ago, I just looked it up. The blog never lies.)

We, meaning the guildmates we, discovered one of the best guild pranks EVER within the first few minutes. For the cheap seats, almost everything is instanced in GW. To do quests or travel in the countryside even, you portal into an instance, and can later portal back into a common or public area.

If you’re grouped with someone, they portal with you and, from our subsequent experiments, it looks like the group portals with you from wherever they are. Well, you can see the beauty here.

Guy’s talking to his trainer in town, groupmember portals out into Lakeshire, errr LakeSIDE in GW, the group is zapped over into the instance. The ultimate in gaming narcissism.

Well, *I* didn’t need to talk to anyone in town. *I* needed to talk to the guy in Lakeshire, err Lakeside. Whatever the fuck.

Now here’s something that is ANNOYING beyond belief: players have to organize and choose their spell sets before leaving town. Limited to 8 slots. (No joke.) What in the fuck, we’re back in EverQuest now? Pre-UI customization EQ? (that’s several years ago for the EQless among us.)

We’ve been farting around in this game for a couple of hours now, and even the guys that got online early today have almost no clue how to work this game. Examples:

Do you have to have that rezz doodad equipped in town for the instance or if not, your partner is shit out of luck if he dies? answer from guild: I dunno.

How in the HELL did I get second prof as a necromancer? guildanswer: I dunno.

How in the HELL do I get rid of necro as 2nd prof? guildanswer: I dunno.

How in the fuck do I identify items? guildanswer: I dunno and what’s identify?

How do we make a guild? guildanswer: I dunno and that’s the least of our worries, goddamit!

Is there an EQ default keybind set? guildanswer: I dunno.

Is it just me or are these maps and the radar worthless? guildanswer: I dunno, but not just you.

How do I get back to town? guildanswer: INSTAPORT, click the town on map!

Ok, that we know. We have thrown off the shackles of virtual travel and are loving every minute of it!

Good thing I have low expectations because I can safely say … this is the most counter-intuitive game since … since AO. Not good. In fact, unless my memory has completely failed me, AO had an edge in intuitive over Guild Wars.

Maybe more to follow as I attempt to accomplish something (anything!?). It’s entirely possible that I could arrive at max level in this game and STILL have no idea what I’m doing.

UPDATE01: Where do you get more backpacks ffs? guildanswer: I dunno. (You see what I mean?)

Are there even vendors in this game? guildanswer: fuck if I know.

I think I’m healing the mobs, is that possible or a lag thing? guildanswer: I dunno.

Hey, that “unidentified” shit is blue, does that mean uncommon or something? guildanswer: I dunno.

Ok, any chance we can trick someone to join us and answer all these questions before this game OWNS US instead of US OWNING IT? guildanswer: (I think you get the idea by now.)

Most … counter-intuitive … game … ever.

UPDATE02: By my timer, it has taken approximately two hours to add our first Guild Wars player to The List. You remember the list. The List of players you wouldn’t piss on if their heart was on fire? Ya, that List.

One of the guildies dared comment on how FUCKED the player pathing is in this game. i.e. you will follow the assigned path, no jumping, no falling, no straying from the designated path in any way (hail, counter-intuitive!), and ListAddition01 called him an IGN noob.

Now what the fuck is that? Bnet noob, I’ve heard. Noob, with no other designation, of course. IGN? Are they breeding noobs over there? I hadn’t heard.

At any rate, a brotha calls for an addition to The List, consider that *censored word that not even AFK Gamer will use* added.

This is the way of the gaming world. Vigilante-ism at its finest.

FINAL UPDATE (for the night because Foton has to work tomorrow): We figured out the identifying objects deal. Only took FOUR HOURS OF PLAY, because the damn ID kits cost 100 gold and, while money is not tight in this game like others (*cough*WoW*cough* … *cough*DAoC*cough*), if you’re running around like an IDIOT with no idea what to do, it takes some time.

Anyhow, to prove that I can evolve and learn, you buy these ID kits from vendors, it’s 100 gold for 25 charge kit, and you ID the blue item, get a random level-appropriate enhancement to the item. Lot of trouble for a bunch of nothing, IMO.

And when I say “level-appropriate”, I do not mean good. I mean it’s noob level, so expect it to suck.

Anyhoo, we’re all about level 5 or 5.5 after a few hours play. We still have NO IDEA what we are doing (no joke, we are just randomly leveling and randomly clicking our skills/spells … for no apparent reason, ding!).

Think about that. One quarter of the way through max level and we don’t know how we got here. That’s good and yet disturbing. Unsettling, even. Could it be we’re not as good as we think we are?

Nah, that’s crazy talk!

FINALFINAL UPDATE: I’m a noob ’round these parts. But what does this mean when it’s spammed every 30 seconds?

Logout ... NOW!

Does it mean “server going down, go get your fresh hotfix”? Does it mean “hey, if you care, there’s a new patch available”? Or does it mean “for the love of God, we got your box price, get the hell out, we have some prep work to do”?

I didn’t care, I was about to call it for the night anyhow. Just struck me as odd.

I got my level 5 ding! (somehow) Can virtual world domination be far behind? I think not!



Comments

31 Responses to “Guild Wars: Day One — A Noob is Born”

  1. Tony on April 27th, 2005 9:23 pm

    Thanks for the straight shooting. I was thinking about picking this one up (and will probably still do so) but now I may wait to see what kind of actions they take to fix some of the counter-intuitive controls.

    IGN noob? Isn’t that redundant?

  2. Foton on April 27th, 2005 9:39 pm

    It might be, but I think people that would read the IGN boards (is that the reference?) at least have a passing interest in gaming and have actually gamed at some point? Do people hang out at the IGN site and boards and never dive in and try it out for themselves?

    These are the things I do not know. No matter, the chick/man/whatever is on The List and there she/he/it will remain … forever.

  3. DGM on April 28th, 2005 3:54 am

    if you’re still having trouble with getting to grips, feel free to fire some quesrions my way. I’ve played most of the beta weekend events except the most recent, wow was more dominant at the time. I’m sure, however, that after a few more hours of running about you’ll have figured most of it out. =)

  4. Eon Blue on April 28th, 2005 5:27 am

    The reason for limiting skills to 8 at a time is to add a bit of strategy to PvP. It makes for some interesting decisions when you have 50 skills to choose from. I think a lot of people are having problems with the game because they are approaching it like a normal MMO. It’s much more like bnet. The towns are pretty much matchmaking lobbies for the instances.

  5. Anon on April 28th, 2005 12:21 pm

    I too jumped on at midnight – wow, what a bad introduction. You are dropped into town with NO goddamn direction. Hey ArenaNet – you’ve got these awesome instances for individuals, how about dropping players into a tutorial instance so they can be shown the basics of movement, UI customization and so on? That way they don’t embarrass themselves spamming chat channels.

    And since they’re picking up WoW strays (like myself), why don’t they just mirror some of the UI flow and such to make the transition easier? Bah!

    Nice thing to know – someone I know playing says that if you ignore one player, it’ll automatically recognize all the alts on the account (adding a friend adds all their alts automatically – it’s account linked). If this is true, yeehaw!

    The 8 skill limit is due to the Magic: The Gathering style gameplay – rock, paper, scissors. Some characters builds are anti-other builds – just depends on how you play. At least, that’s my impression.

  6. James on April 28th, 2005 12:57 pm

    Here’s where you need to go to answer a lot of your questions. This will help you get focused on what you need to accomplish in the opening part of the game. I was in the same land of confusion until I dug this info up.

    Compilation of Quests in Kingdom of Ascalon

    http://www.guild-hall.net/forum/showthread.php?t=9255

    Guru Home – Guides – Pre-Searing Ascalon

    http://www.guildwarsguru.com/content/pre-searing-ascalon-id1264.php

  7. Foton on April 28th, 2005 1:27 pm

    Thanks for the links. I hadn’t done any homework for GW other than skimming the FAQs, and it showed. Took me 20 minutes to find the theater and it’s RIGHT OUTSIDE THE GATES. argggggggg.

  8. Newman on April 28th, 2005 2:29 pm

    I still haven’t figured out what the problem is that this game “solves”. I played 3 of the beta weekends. Enough to realize that:
    -I like leveling and knowing that my level 40 guy is going to stomp on a level 5 guy – maybe even bare handed.
    -I don’t like being lonely in the countryside which is what happens when you leave town.
    -I don’t like having to figure out what I’m going to do before I leave town.
    -I don’t like the “You just pulled me out of what I was doing because you went through a portal you bastage” deal.
    -I don’t mind paying a monthly fee… I just don’t see the issue. I usually buy a game a month which is $50. If I don’t buy a game because I’m paying $14.99 to a game I enjoy, I’m way ahead. Since CoH and WoW have come out, I’ve SAVED money.
    -I don’t like the fact that I can’t jump or fall off of something and hurt myself.

    I was all excited when I first read about this game, but now won’t be buying the game. Thank goodness for cheap beta opportunities and now I can keep my monthly subs going on other games.

  9. green_prince on April 28th, 2005 4:04 pm

    i played this game oonce last year for a beta weekend.
    i was drooling the whole time, it looked soo sweet. I was hoping i could get that giant Castle on the hill top..the one that looked like a bridge…but no…just a background thing!…i remember this game looking better then WOW.
    but yeah..i tihnkk by the sound of things ill just stick to TMS. eheheh
    greatist game ever!
    cheeriO!

  10. Anon GW player on April 28th, 2005 5:22 pm

    All of your questions could have been easily answered by asking someone who knew instead of your guildies. Just ask around in town – there is bound to be someone who has spent the time to learn the interace.

    This isn’t to say that the beginning of the game couldn’t be improved, because it is quite different from the most popular MMORPGs.

    Q: Do you have to have that rezz doodad equipped in town for the instance or if not, your partner is shit out of luck if he dies?

    A: Yes you need to make sure you bring the right skills for the job. That is the Magic: The Gathering part of the game. It makes for fantastic 8v8 PvP and many players spend hours planning out their builds. For PvE, well, you will learn which skills work best and how to best play your chosen role – learning is part of the fun.

    Q: How in the HELL did I get second prof as a necromancer?

    A: Talk to a necromancer trainer. Ask your first trainer where to find your necro trainer. Did you read the Second Profession quest text?

    Q: How in the HELL do I get rid of necro as 2nd prof?

    A: It is final. Well, at least until they add switching of second professions. Although until you agree to make it final you can “try out” secondary professions. This is also made clear in the text, but perhaps could be more explicit?

    Q: How in the fuck do I identify items?

    A: Buy an identification kit. But you figured this out.

    Q: How do we make a guild?

    A: Talk to the guild registrar. Hold down ALT in cities to see all the names (and locations) of NPCs.

    Q: Is there an EQ default keybind set?

    A: Don’t think so. But you can customize your keys by going to Menu->Options->Controls

    Q: Is it just me or are these maps and the radar worthless?

    A: M is big map for travelling. U is litle map for making sure you aren’t backtracking – it shows nice little red dot paths. The radar is great (although small) – you can ping and write on it.

    Q: Where do you get more backpacks ffs?

    A: You have to find the people that sell them or will give you new packs in trade for other items. There is a “Collector” right outside Ascalon that will trade a belt pouch.

    Q: Are there even vendors in this game?

    A: In all the cities and staging areas there are vendros… they are called Merchants… hold down ALT to quickly find them.

    Q: I think I’m healing the mobs, is that possible or a lag thing?

    A: Not possible to heal mobs.

    Q: Hey, that ‘unidentified’ shit is blue, does that mean uncommon or something?

    A: It means it is unidentified. If you identify it and it is still colored then it might be something special.

    Anyways, I’m not sure if it is counter intuitive, but it is different. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. When you finish most of the quests head off to the Academy (see the first guy you met in Ascalon) and you’ll start the real meat of the game.

  11. Anon GW player on April 28th, 2005 5:50 pm

    Oh also:

    “A new version of Guild Wars is available. Please exit and run the program again” means… exactly what it says. You can exit and restart the program.

    Often changes don’t even require reloading they just stream in as you load an instance, but if they have to change something in the executable then you need to restart. You can restart anytime you like, if you *must* restart then it will indicate that.

    That is how patches go in GW… quick, easy and fast. I submitted a bug on the 27th with a quest and it was fixed in a few hours. That was pretty common in the beta too. Pretty incredible.

  12. Truth on April 28th, 2005 7:36 pm

    This is what happens with retards they all end up in one big Retard Guild where none of them know what the fuck is going on.

  13. Foton on April 28th, 2005 8:47 pm

    James’ link above to the Quest Compilation is a source for info, btw. Even retards like us can figure out what to do with that resource.

  14. lachesis on April 28th, 2005 11:16 pm

    just a minor correction to one of anon GW player’s answers.. it IS possible to heal mobs in game.

    Figured that out the hard way when trying to solo with my monk using a PBAE heal and wondering y the mobs were so tough..( I was healing, the mobs, my henchmen and myself at the same time)

  15. DGM on April 29th, 2005 2:38 am

    Thats when you use an AoE healing spell. Not sure you can select a mob and have your heal spell be directed towards it. Maybe you can with different skills….

  16. Brother Laz on April 29th, 2005 6:27 am

    *sigh*

    First, the most counter-intuitive game in history is Diablo 1. All that Diablo 1 would ever tell you about a spell was the (always totally incorrect) damage and the mana cost. If it wasn’t a damaging spell, just the mana cost. Add to this the fact that certain shrines and one particular monster type could permanently damage your character without you realising it. GW suddenly isn’t as counter-intuitive anymore, eh? :)

    Secondly, the eight skill slots are a *feature* of the game. Not a bug, not bad design. A feature.

    Thirdly, ‘a new version of GW is available’ is displayed when the patch has finished downloading in the BG. Streaming patches are a major feature of the game…

    Fourthly, the fact that you can’t decipher colour codes isn’t the game’s fault. When you first played D2, did /you/ know what the difference between blue and yellow unidentified items was, or the fact that yellow items look like uniques but aren’t?

    Give it some time, soon you won’t be as newbish anymore and can in turn flame the ‘clueless noobs’ on the channel. :)

  17. knightshae on April 29th, 2005 8:02 am

    Although it does have its quirks, I don’t think the wholesale condemnation of the game is deserved. Most of the questions listed could have been resolved by looking the manual, or actually reading the descriptions/in-game help (which is good is you actually bother to read it).

    I find your complaints about grouping to have very little merit. If your teammates have such little respect for you as to randomly leave you behind, you probably shouldn’t be grouping with that person anyways. I haven’t really experienced any problems with this in game. Most people communicate with their teams and don’t run into this problem. Also it can help out at times. In certain missions, as long as one person can make it to the next area the whole group will be rezzed and can move on.

    As mentioned previously, skill selection is a feature not a bug. You are playing a MMORPG, this forces you to try to balance out your build as person so that you will fit in with other teammates. I personally like that you have to actually use some judgement and devote sometime to thinking about your character development. After all, I want to see the benefit of tweaking my character as opposed to mindless treadmill advancement. This also benefits more casual (noob) gamers who don’t spend hours on end playing the game. Basically, it means a person can still be good at the game without devoting their life to it.

    Just my own two cents.

  18. Aranth on April 29th, 2005 11:30 am

    Dude, what are you on :p I figured out the answer to all of those “counter-intuitive” issues in the first half-hour. To identify things, buy this item (counter-intuitively) called an “Identification kit”. You got necromancer as you second class because, probably being an idiot you decided that “yes” is always the correct answer, even when they’re saying “Do you want to adopt necromancer as your second profession? You will not be able to reverse this decision”

    You might do well with a pvp character, they don’t have to do that “thinking” thing about non-combat issues.

  19. Foton on April 29th, 2005 1:01 pm

    I’m on bourbon.

  20. Boob on May 14th, 2005 5:56 pm

    Boobs are cool, they are. Peter Pan is cool too. I can fly! I can fly!

  21. buttonmashing.com » Blog Archive » Guild Wars is Mine! on May 17th, 2005 7:44 pm

    […] ld Wars is Mine!

    I suffered through Brian’s praise and Foton’s clumsy beginnings salivating at my chance to play Guild Wars. I then […]

  22. Argos on February 12th, 2006 10:10 pm

    actually secondarys can be changed that comes after ascension and ghostly characters of the various classes will give u a quest which on completion changes your secondary. By looking at the stuff you typed your still in preseering thats why your getting n00b stuff
    pre seerings just a away of introducing players to the game and hey its a hell of a big world out there once you leave it.

  23. asdf on June 20th, 2006 7:11 pm

    This game really is not that hard to figure out.
    And yes it does require you to think.

  24. DeathBeaver on June 26th, 2006 11:49 pm

    Ahh, I see the problem here…you’re an idiot. That and you have the attention span of a 8-year-old ADD kid on speed and have the reasoning skills of my sock. I played AO for about 6 months and there is no way in hell that GW is as counter-intuitive as AO. I solved every single one of your laughable “dilemas” in my first 20 minutes in the game. What’s this? An item is unidentified? I wonder what this little thing called an “Identification Kit” could do? You know…the thing that you can buy from the NPC with the clearly displayed “Merchant” tag next to his name? Hey, you know…these items that I’m getting at the beginning of the game kindof suck…I wonder why…maybe because I’m at the fucking BEGINNING of the game. I mean obviously one should assume to find all the uber-1337 shit in the training area right? Hmm…this guy is telling me that if I hit “Yes” I will accept necromancer as my secondary profession…I don’t want necromancer as my secondary profession…ahh what the hell, I’ll hit “Yes” anyway. Hey! Why is my secondary profession necromancer?! I guess reading a few lines of text was a bit much for you. “Guild answer: I dunno.” Hey! You should be in good company! You’re in a guild of fucking retards! WOOO!!!! Here’s a tip for ya – find a guild that isn’t comprised of *gasp* fucking retards. I suppose I’d have a really hard time with this game too if, with one hand, I covered my eyes, and with the other I randomly smashed the keyboard while screaming “Derrr! Derrr! Derrr!” I guess the creators of GW didn’t anticipate your total and utter lack of anything remotely resembling intelligence. You sir, are a fucktard. If you can’t figure out stuff this fucking simple, maybe you should just stop playing video games. There are enough idiots clogging up the net as it is, it definitely doesn’t need you too.

  25. Foton on June 27th, 2006 6:04 am

    That’s ok, Learn2Read.

    This was written on GW opening day, first few hours of play. GW since then substantially improved the noob areas and noob experience, as I wrote not long after this. Also, I admitted during my GW series and in other posts that I become easily annoyed with differing UI’s and game systems which is not the fault of the designer, but rather mine. Getting old, y’know.

    Now I answered you with far more civility than you deserved. Come back when you grow some hair between your legs.

  26. DeathBeaver on June 28th, 2006 12:32 pm

    Wow, the classic “grow some hair between your legs” smack. I’m impressed, should we break out the “your momma” jokes as well? Those are always good for a good old-fashioned romp of puerility.

    But hey, that’s okay, Learn2Write articles that aren’t terrible – articles with the analytical prowess of a 5-year-old.

    So let me get this straight…somehow, updates in GW have made you no longer assume that you’ll get good items in the noob area of the game? Updates have somehow made you read text that tells you that you are choosing a secondary profession – text that has been present since launch day? Updates have somehow made the relationship between the words “unidentified” and “identification” more clear?

    Sorry, but I’m still seeing a great deal of faulty critical analysis here. These complaints that you’ve made are not the result of rational analysis, they’re the result of impatience and a short attention span. And as for expecting good equipment in the training area, well, I’m not sure what to put that off on other than a lack of intelligence. Try to divert attention all you want, your comments are still idiotic and unwarranted.

  27. Foton on June 29th, 2006 6:18 pm

    Fair enough. You make some valid points, albeit with far more zealotry than necessary.

  28. BRAXE on November 9th, 2006 4:53 am

    Ahh, I see the problem here: you’re an idiot. That and you have the attention span of a 8-year-old ADD kid on speed and have the reasoning skills of my sock. I played AO for about 6 months and there is no way in hell that GW is as counter-intuitive as AO. I solved every single one of your laughable ‘dilemas’ in my first 20 minutes in the game. What’s this? An item is unidentified? I wonder what this little thing called an ‘Identification Kit’ could do? You know, the thing that you can buy from the NPC with the clearly displayed ‘Merchant’ tag next to his name? Hey, you know these items that I’m getting at the beginning of the game kindof suck. I wonder why: maybe because I’m at the fucking BEGINNING of the game. I mean obviously one should assume to find all the uber-1337 shit in the training area right? Hmm…this guy is telling me that if I hit ‘Yes’ I will accept necromancer as my secondary profession…I don’t want necromancer as my secondary profession…ahh what the hell, I’ll hit ‘Yes’ anyway. Hey! Why is my secondary profession necromancer?! I guess reading a few lines of text was a bit much for you. Guild answer: I dunno. Hey! You should be in good company! You’re in a guild of fucking retards! WOOO!!!! Here’s a tip for ya – find a guild that isn’t comprised of *gasp* fucking retards. I suppose I’d have a really hard time with this game too if, with one hand, I covered my eyes, and with the other I randomly smashed the keyboard while screaming ‘Derrr! Derrr! Derrr!’ I guess the creators of GW didn’t anticipate your total and utter lack of anything remotely resembling intelligence. You sir, are a fucktard. If you can’t figure out stuff this fucking simple, maybe you should just stop playing video games. There are enough idiots clogging up the net as it is, it definitely doesn’t need you too.

    Disregard that, I suck cocks.

    HA OWNED ^_^

  29. Leo on June 23rd, 2008 8:41 am

    I agree with DeathBeaver. I was a little confused with this game for like 5 minutes but once i got into Lakeside County I started getting the hang of it.

  30. Leo on June 23rd, 2008 8:42 am

    I agree with DeathBeaver. I was a little confused with this game for like 5 minutes but once i got into Lakeside County I started getting the hang of it.

    Only a retard who sucks at games would not understand the things you just mentioned in this article.

  31. FuSion on August 29th, 2009 9:31 am

    i would like to add [besides the counter-intuitiveness] that GW has the DUMBEST AI of any game i have ever played. Not the funny AI where lets say the henchmen run around in circles no but the frustrating kind when you point your flag thingy on the map away from a fuckload of mobs so they wont agro while i sacrifice myself to make them go away and guess what they jump right into the fight we all die death penalty occurs and you have to start the encounter all over again

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