Monthly Archives: July 2004

The Summer Doldrums

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Since I’ve pretty much given up on PvP in SWG, gave up EQ long ago (and would rather pull my eyes out and stomp on them than sit around waiting for a raid to begin), and I don’t feel like running winky dinky missions in CoH, I’m spending a lot of time looking at game release calendars.

I understand why game developers want to release their new! and improved! stuff just before Christmas, but that sure is hell on the rest of us that are weary of the same old, same old.

Incoming!! (as always, game release dates subject to changing whims)

August 3 – Doom3. Not an online game, but it’s Doom. AT LAST!! And I can get an action figure with the box too. Can’t say enough good things about an included action figure.

September 13 – EverQuest expansion: Omens of War. Who cares. But it’s cute that they think I do.

September 21 – Final Fantasy XI:  Chains of Promathia expansion. w/e. I’m not a fan, I’d have to get pretty desperate to buy this and crack open the box.

October 11 – The Matrix Online. Again, being desperate might loosen my wallet. As many have written before, I just don’t see this as being a viable storyline for an enduring MMOG. Hope they prove me wrong. (ya, right.)

Armageddon – November 15 – No small coincidence that World of Warcraft and EverQuest II are currently scheduled to go live on the same day. WoW is a must buy & try and, if my interest flags, I’ll scoop up EQII to torture net noobs. If I hear even ONE COMMENT that EQII is too catassy, I’m out.

February 7, 2005 – GuildWars. I got to take this bad boy out for a spin during E3’s free trial and I liked what I saw. Didn’t spend too much time with it, but I like the fluidity of professions and the group PvP emphasis. (please o please, don’t screw this one up…)

February 15, 2005 – Middle Earth Online. I’m on the fence about this one. The genre is obviously broad enough to support a MMOG (Hail, EverQuest!), but it would be so easy to fuck this one over. I’ll be on the fence eavesdropping.

Shit, August to mid-November sure is a long time. Here’s hoping Doom3 has some unprecedented replayability as I fear the consequences.

Could I get desperate enough to return to EQ? God, I hope I never have to find out.

A Tale in the Middle of Hell

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During a recent hiatus from the online bigs (SWG, EQ and DAoC), I ran across this little game called A Tale in the Desert.  It had received a lot of positive press and came with a free 24-hour trial.  No credit card required!  Even better, since I usually forget to cancel subscriptions until years later when I wonder ‘what in the hell is this charge from Phat Gaimer Online?’.  Honestly, I am a long time subscriber to the bigs not so much due to loyalty as absentmindedness.
 
I’d tell you the object of the game if I had figured it out.  I THINK the object is to solve winky dinky puzzles and participate in grand role playing scenarios.  Never mind that though, because I never got that far. 
 
I started off on the noob island where I had to build a ship (somehow) to get to the Egypt mainland.  Although it took me forever to gather all the supplies, craft rope and sails, build treasure chests to store all the crap I had to gather and craft, and solve about 395 other winky dinky puzzles, I did get off noob island and made it to my preselected area of the Egypt mainland … which was completely deserted except for some female-type that was greeting all the noobs that had accidentally selected her portion of the Egypt mainland.
 
She welcomed us to her area of Hell — I feigned AFK (which I excel at!) and eavesdropped on the other noobs asking for directions out of there.  The nearest winky dinky puzzle houses were several regions away, and since I didn’t know how else to travel around the map (where is a damn druid when you need one?), I started hiking.
 
As far as I know, my character is still trying to hike up to the w-d-puzzle houses.  I only watched myself run for an hour or so and gave up.  I figured even if I did arrive, no way did I want to plant flax seed, weed, harvest, repeat.  And no way was I going to spend even one dollar for the privilege.
 
I can’t figure out who this game would appeal to except people without jobs that are curious what a job is like.  In that case, have at it — a job is real similar to that game, except it’s in the middle of Hell.

Ya, I’m That Stupid

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Continued from Sony’s Vortex of Evil — The day after Sony makes their grand announcement that they won’t be fixing any of the shit they fucked up in the last year until they pump out their first SWG Demon Expansion, they post (with much fanfare and hoopla) that SWG players can sign up to beta test said Demon Expansion, The Jump to Lightspeed.
 
Of course, not everyone will be chosen.  (O no!)  And I must be at least 18.  (O no!)  And they want to install some spyware to crawl up my computer’s ass to check my system.  (Check here to always trust content from Sony Entertainment!  ya, right.)  But I can be among the first to TRY OUT SPACESHIPS and LIVE THE STAR WARS DREAM!  (fuck you.)
 
These are the same people that in one fell swoop decimated my SWG PvP guild the previous day, along with many other PvP guilds on all the servers, and now they’d like a hand in beta testing the expansion that killed PvP?  These fuckers are like Tolkien’s Nazgul … neither living nor dead.
 
Frankly, I’m not sure they even need beta testers.  It’s not like the product that emerges DIFFERS IN ANY DISCERNIBLE WAY from the beta.  This is a company reknowned for their lack of response to the public.  Why in the world would they be interested in input from those of us that know, and at times have loved, their game?  In short, they aren’t.
 
They need beta testers?  I need a Sony paycheck first before I’d waste time checking their code.  They can take their Demon Expansion and shove it up their collective asses.